THE CHAPEL SHOW
Episode: S01E02
Date: 06/01/2014

The video begins and we see The Chapel Show logo on the screen. The logo fades out and we see Lexy Chapel standing in front of the camera. She’s standing in the lounge, and behind her on the couch we can see Nate, her husband, sitting watching her, almost like he’s giving her an audience. Lexy smiles confidently at the camera.

“What’s up fuckers?” she asks confidently. “I’m Lexy Chapel, and I like to do it with the lights on. Welcome to another exciting, action packed episode of the Chapel Show. Say hi Nate.”

In the background, Nate waves at the camera. “Hi Nate...”

“Works every time,” she says with a smirk. “So, it’s Christmas Eve and as you can see from the apartment behind me we’re not exactly drowning in Christmas at the moment. In fact, I could take you around the apartment and other than the Santa hat in the bedroom that I wore to work last night you wouldn’t even know that it was Christmas. Plus, you know, the weather in Las Vegas hardly screams Christmas either. But we’re going to change all of that, right babe?”

She looks over her shoulder at Nate who nods his head in agreement and moves aside to reveal a box of what looks like Christmas decorations. Lexy adjusts the camera to focus on Nate and on the box that he’s just revealed. “We are indeed,” he says proudly. “Lexy got talking to our downstairs neighbours, and apparently they have too many decorations, and we have none, so they’ve given us a box of all the left over crap they don’t want. There’s actually some pretty good stuff in here, but there’s a slight problem. It’s all Christmas tree ornaments, and we don’t have a Christmas tree.”

Lexy turns the camera back more toward herself again and nods slowly. “I know, how sad is that?” she asks with an overly dramatic pout. “Here we are, lost and far from home in a strange land and Santa can’t even find us because we don’t have a Christmas tree. Oh, how unfair is life? How unfair is it all? It’s just not right!”

She puts a hand to her head in a very overly dramatic way and Nate just laughs. “That was good babe, you planning an acting career you didn’t tell me about?”

“Oh, you know, I’m still keeping my options open if this whole ‘marriage’ thing doesn’t work out. Who knows what kind of acting skills I’ll need to snag the hunky millionaire of my dreams,” she says before looking over at Nate and blowing a kiss at him. “I’m just kidding baby. Don’t worry; you know my heart belongs to you. I mean, if things don’t get better then we may have to talk about renting other bits of me to the highest bidders, but my heart will always be yours!”

He just shakes his head slowly, but there’s a grin on his face that he’s trying to hide. “You know I’ll never let that happen babe,” he promises in a romantic sounding tone. “I mean, there’s plenty more options before we get that desperate. We’ve got the whole internet porn thing first.”

“Oh, good, so you’ve been thinking up lots of nice, non-exploity ways to get us some money then, huh?” she asks jokingly before turning back to the camera. “He’s kidding. I hope.”

“Of course I’m kidding,” he tells her happily before putting his hand to the side of his mouth, blocking the view of his lips from his wife as he moves closer to the camera and can clearly be seen to mouth the words ‘mostly, but call anyway’ before laughing. Lexy punches him and he grabs at his arm, as though the punch was far worse than the playful way she hit him, and begins to feign death. “Oh, my arm. Dammit, my only weakness...”

“That’s not your only weakness,” Lexy reminds him with a shake of her head. “Remember that time when you thought it would be really fun to try to tie my legs to the posts of your bed, but the knot came loose and I ended up accidentally kneeing you in the—”

“I remember,” Nate replies, cutting her off. “I’m sure people don’t want to hear about that story.”

“You’re probably right,” Lexy agrees with a nod before turning back to the camera and whispering. “His balls actually turned blue. He had to go to the hospital.”

Nate looks down at his groin area before his expression changes to where we can see that he’s obviously remembering the incident and the pain it caused him. “That was not a good weekend,” he says with a shake of his head. “I swear, if my guys ever have swimming issues in the future it’ll be because of that weekend. I mean that wasn’t even the kinkiest thing we did. Wait, do we still have the home movies? We should dig them out at some point.”

“Oh goody, you weren’t kidding about the Internet porn thing,” Lexy says with a roll of her eyes before moving around and turning the camera with her so that Nate’s no longer in the shot. “Anyway, let’s change the subject, shall we? We’re calling this the Chapel Show Christmas Special, and we’re going to bring to all of you our first Christmas in the United States. My boss gave me a very generous Christmas bonus last night – I can’t help but think if I had bigger boobs I may have gotten more, but you work with what you’ve got and I make the girls work for me – and with this we’re going to get a Christmas tree, we’re may even go Christmas shopping, maybe, and tomorrow we’ve got big plans because tomorrow is the big day itself. Tomorrow is the celebration that we wait all year for. The day we give presents and eat turkey to celebrate the birth of Santa Claus, who... was born on a turkey farm?”

“Oh, that reminds me, I have a Christmas joke for you babe,” Nate says. Lexy looks curiously at the camera before turning it around to face Nate. “Ok, you ready for this? Who never goes hungry at Christmas?”

“Um... the elves?” Lexy guesses, clearly unable to think of the actual answer.

“No, the turkey, he’s always stuffed,” Nate replies, laughing to himself.

Lexy turns the camera back around and shakes her head at it. “Bless him. He tries... my patience.”

“Oh c’mon, that’s funny,” Nate tells her. “Ok, ok, I have another one. What do you call people who are afraid of Santa?”

“Is this one going to actually be ok, or will it get us deported?” Lexy asks, a little worried look on her face clearly knowing her husband’s sense of humour a little too well.

“You call them CLAUStrophic,” he says excitedly. Lexy rolls her eyes, and clearly tries to suppress a laugh but it slips out and she ends up grinning. She turns the camera back around on Nate and we see him celebrating with both hands in the air. “Yes! I knew one of them would make you laugh. I’ve got a whole bunch more if you want.”

Lexy turns the camera back on herself, still smiling at her husband’s celebrating. “I don’t think the American audience is ready for your sense of humour yet baby. I mean, I still remember that joke you told my boss that almost got me fired,” she says, shaking her head slowly. “I mean, I guess I should have told you that my boss was Greek before you started making jokes, but...”

“I still say that was funny,” Nate objects. “I mean, what kind of man can’t laugh at himself?”

“Evidently the kind of man who’s employing me so we can pay our rent,” Lexy replies before looking back in to the camera. “Ah, one day we’ll look back on these early videos and laugh... perhaps because it was before our dramatic slip in to madness that eventually led to the coke habit that I hear you’re pretty much guaranteed to start when your husband starts pimping you out. Heh, gives a whole weird meaning to ‘the strip’. But anyway, tomorrow is the big day, and that means an exciting look at my first ever attempt to cook Christmas dinner. If I don’t burn down the apartment, I’ll consider it a success. Right now though, we have Christmas shopping to do, so we’ll check back in later.”

The scene changes from the living room of the Chapel’s Las Vegas apartment to a Christmas tree lot somewhere else in Vegas. We see a short clip that one of them has obviously filmed of the large number of Christmas trees they’re driving past before the video abruptly cuts to Nate examining one large tree before shaking his head. “Nah, this one’s got bits missing,” he says before turning toward the camera. “If we’re going to get a tree, we’ve got to at least get one that has one decent side. I mean ok, we could hide some of the damage against the wall, but if we’re going to do this, we’ve got to do it right.”

“Baby, it’s Christmas Eve,” Lexy reminds him with a long sigh. “All the nice trees probably got sold a long time ago, and that one is by far the best one we’ve seen so far.”

“So you’re telling me you just want to settle for second rate?” Nate asks with a shake of his head.

“I’m used to that already,” Lexy replies cheekily before Nate looks up at the camera again with a faux-hurt look on his face. “Aw baby, did nobody tell you that you’re second rate before? I’m so sorry I had to break it to you in a Christmas tree lot.”

“You are going to get spanked later if you keep that up young lady,” Nate tells her with a grin.

“Promise?” she asks playfully.

The smirk on his face is more than visible, and he seems to hesitate before turning around and continuing to walk. After a few more paces he stops and begins examining another tree, and then quickly shakes his head and moves on before stopping and spinning back around, looking at the camera again confidently. “Oh ye of little faith,” he says before looking the tree up and down again. “Ok, so it’s not perfect, but we can easily put this bit up against the wall and boom, Christmas tree on Christmas Eve.”

The video cuts from Nate grinning in front of the tree to the sound of Lexy laughing while we see Nate struggling to put the tree – now tied and wrapped up – on top of the car. He almost positions it on top of the car before it begins slipping down the other side of the car and he begins swearing loudly. Lexy starts laughing again. She starts talking in a mocking tone, imitating Nate. “‘Oh no, I don’t need their help, I can easily handle putting a tree on top of a car’, he says, with such confidence,” she says mockingly. “Its ok baby, you’re allowed to ask for help.”

“I don’t need help,” Nate argues, throwing the rope he was obviously planning to use to fasten the tree to the car with to the floor before rushing around the car as the tree falls down. We hear him muttering before he begins to hoist the tree back up again and looks over at Lexy behind the camera. “Ok, so... you know I don’t need your help, right? I mean I can do this on my own, just like I said, but I’ve been thinking and it’s our first Christmas together, and I was thinking that this really is something that we should share. You know, an experience that we should undertake together...”

“You know, you could just ask for help,” Lexy replies with a chuckle.

“There’s no need, I don’t need help,” Nate tells her confidently. “I’m more than capable of doing this on my own. I just thought that you’d want to help, you know, so we can completely share the whole Christmas experience. But if you don’t want to...”

“I know what you’re doing,” Lexy replies with a sigh.

Nate shrugs his shoulders. “What?” he asks innocently. “I’m not doing anything. I’m just trying to share the Christmas experience...”

“Yeah, well, it’s not working. If you want help, all you’ve got to do is ask for it,” Lexy says before letting out a sigh. “God, I hate you sometimes. I feel guilty now.”

“Why?” Nate asks innocently before grinning at her. “Really, I’ve got this.”

“Yeah well, it’s our first Christmas, maybe I do want to help...” she says before letting out a long sigh.

The scene changes from the Christmas tree lot to the inside of a store. It’s not that well lit inside, and there are a number of controversial looking standees of women dressed in very little. The camera pans slowly along a number of different action figures of various professional wrestling stars from the last twenty years before we hear a loud sigh from behind the camera. “Wow,” Lexy’s voice says in a disappointed tone. “It said on the door that these guys sell ‘wrestling gear’, but this was NOT what I had in mind. I was looking for something to buy for Nate for tomorrow. I’ve not got a whole lot money, I’ve saved a bit and I’ve got some of my Christmas bonus left, but... ooh, boots!”

The camera suddenly spins around to reveal a pair of female wrestling boots in a display case with a two hundred dollar price tag. Lexy films them; zooming in on them slightly as though she really likes them. The camera suddenly jerks as another voice speaks. “You like boots?”

“Oh god, you scared the hell out of me,” Lexy says and the camera turns to reveal a rather large man with a big, thick beard and long hair looking at her. “Seriously, how did you sneak up on me like that? You’re like a giant bearded ninja.”

“I am like ‘ninja’?” he asks with an offended look on his face. His voice is deep and he has a very thick Eastern European accent, not Russian but sounding like something from around that area.

“Yeah, you know, sneaky... you know, ninja? Like the guys all in black with samurai swords?” she asks, a little nervously as she films his reaction. He looks offended, almost angry, before beginning to laugh and Lexy says and does nothing for a moment before beginning to laugh a little as well, although still clearly nervous. “Oh, you’re messing with me, huh?”

“I am ‘playing’,” he says with a hearty laugh. “You are filming? What are you filming for?”

“Oh, I’m just doing a web show. I film my life, my experiences and everything else and then we turn it in to a web show. We’re hoping to do weekly episodes... eventually. Right now we’re just kind of getting started,” she explains casually before holding out a hand to him. “I’m Lexy.”

“I am Georgiy, it is pleasure to meet you little Lexy,” he says, shaking her hand happily. “You are not American. Where are you from?”

“I’m English,” she says happily. “I just moved here actually, with my husband. We’re trying to break in to the wrestling business. That’s actually why I came in here, it says on the door that you sell wrestling gear, but I don’t see any...?”

“Ah, wrestling gear in back,” Georgiy tells her with a nod. “It is not big seller. We sell action figures, we sell toys, we sell autographs and we sell clothes to regular people. We sell wrestling gear to wrestlers, but there are not many wrestlers right now that we sell too. Tell me, what kind of wrestling gear are you looking for? You like boots? I make you deal on boots.”

“I’d love them, but I can’t afford them,” Lexy says with a sigh. “Actually, I’m looking for something for my husband for Christmas. I’m not really sure what I want, just something that I can give him for tomorrow. He’s already got some gear from back home – really cool custom gear actually, since his father is Victor Vicious, and he—”

“Victor Vicious?!” Georgiy asks almost angrily. “I hate that man. He is cheat. He cheat every match! I place bet on opponent, he cheat and he win and I lose money. I hate him.” He spits on the ground in disgust.

“Um... nice,” Lexy says softly and nervously. “But yeah, I’m not a big fan either. Neither is Nate, actually. That’s kind of why Nate ran away with me, to America. You know, since nobody in America really knows who he is. We wanted to start fresh, to make our own names, you know?”

“He does not want to be like father?” Georgiy asks before nodding his head in agreement. “I respect this. Your husband sounds like good man. He is English, yes? And you want present? I have just the thing for you. It is custom item, but man who orders never comes back to collect so I make you deal.”

“I can’t really afford anything custom—” she begins before Georgiy walks behind the counter and disappears through a curtain. She turns the camera around on herself and is clearly nervous. “Ok, so is it just me or should I not have come in here? I feel like I should have kept walking or something.”

She quickly spins the camera back around to show Georgiy walking out from the back with a cardboard box that he places down on the counter, removing the lid and opening the box. Lexy moves forward and zooms in slightly and the camera adjusts for the lack of light in the store, but in the box we clearly see a pair of wrestling tights made in the colours of the Union Jack. “Oh my god, they’re great,” she says, actually surprised. “But there’s no way I can afford these!”

“Man who orders never comes back. He pays deposit, tells me how important it is to get them in. I rush order for him. I import specially for him. This is two months ago. He never comes back to store,” Georgiy explains before shaking his head in disappointment. “I think I am doomed to keep special item in back forever. Then, English girl comes in so I make you special deal. You want?”

“Do I want the tights?” Lexy asks a little nervously. “Um... sure, I want them, but I’m not sure I can afford them. See, we’ve not got jobs yet in wrestling. I work in a diner. I just got a Christmas bonus, but I only have—”

“You work in diner?” he asks before nodding his head. “You come to America, you look to change life. I have similar story. I come to America to escape problems at home. Many of my brothers engaged in military, bad men in my country, but I say I will not be like them. I come to America to make dream. You come to America for same reason, yes?”

“Absolutely,” Lexy agrees immediately. “I’ve dreamt about this all my life. It’s just; I can’t really afford custom stuff. I mean, those have got to be worth a hundred bucks easily, and—”

“Twenty dollars,” he says confidently.

“Twenty dollars?!” Lexy repeats in disbelief. “Are you serious?”

“Of course I am serious. I do not joke about money,” Georgiy tells her confidently. “You buy present for husband, twenty dollars. You want?”

“Yeah, absolutely,” she says excitedly. “Wow Georgiy, you’ve just made my Christmas.”

“I am happy,” he says with a nod before looking over the other side of the store. “You want boots?”

“I can’t afford them,” she tells him sadly.

“You have no money,” he says sympathetically. “I have idea. I closed for Christmas now, but next year I reopen. I make you deal. You take photos for me, I give you boots.”

“I do what now?!” Lexy asks nervously again. “Ok, I mean me and my husband joke about selling my body but we’re just joking, you know? We’re not actually serious that—”

“You take photos,” he says, pulling down a folder and opening it up to reveal promotional posters of women wearing various outfits and modelling various different items in the store. “You come, you wear, you take photos.”

“Oh, you want me to model for you,” she says, clearly relieved. “I completely thought you meant something else, and I was like ‘whoa, hold on there’. You seriously want me to model for photos for your store?”

“You very, very pretty,” he says complementary. “People see your photos, they come to store. You good investment!”

“Um... thanks, I think. I’m pretty sure that’s a complement. I’ll give you my number,” she says with a laugh before turning the camera around on herself. “Ha, I’m going to be a model. Ok, so it’s not exactly a national publication, but you know, it’s a start!”

We cut from the store back to the Chapel apartment. It’s clearly considerably later in the day as the sun was bright outside the windows when we could see the windows of the store she was in, but now in the apartment there’s only a duller light coming through the windows. In the corner of the lounge area there is now the Christmas tree, standing tall and proud and decorated with a large number of ornaments and tinsel. The camera moves across the room as we see Lexy’s hand slipping a Christmas present under the tree before she focuses the camera in on the present. “There we go, all neatly wrapped – well, neatish. Wrapping was never my strong point – and ready for tomorrow. Nate’s just downstairs. So, we got the tree and we’re all done decorating, and the next big job is to start preparing the food. Before I start with that, there should probably be a disclaimer here. I’m really not what you’d consider a ‘cook’. I mean, I’ve tried a few times, but it’s not been exactly successful. So I’m just trying to set the expectation nice and low before—”

“Probably a stupid question, but did you order me a bad-ass Christmas gift?” Nate asks as he opens the door to the apartment, stepping in with a large package in his arms. “This just arrived and it’s addressed to you. Are you holding out on me babe? Are you ordering stuff online? Do you have a whole secret stash of money that you’ve not told me about?”

“Dammit, he’s discovered my secret,” Lexy replies jokingly. “Ok, I’ll admit it. When I told you that I didn’t bring anything with me I was lying, and when I told you I was just a mild mannered student I was stretching the truth. I secretly had my whole secret laboratory rebuilt over here. By day I’m Lexy Chapel, unassuming waitress and wannabe professional wrestler, but by night I’m actually PROFESSOR DIABLO!”

“Professor?” Nate asks with a disappointed look. “C’mon, if you’re using Diablo, you’ve got to be Doctor Diablo. That’s like Super Villain Naming 101.”

“Oh, THAT’S what you were studying. I thought your schedule was pretty light...” Lexy replies mockingly.

“Oh yeah, didn’t anyone tell you that? That’s the trick to university. You sign up for the really easy classes, and then spend your time getting drunk in the student bar,” he says with a proud nod. “I was doing all the easy ones. Super Villain Naming 101, Super Villain Tax Documentation 206 – although that one is also taken by all politics students...”

“Are you trying to say that politicians don’t pay proper taxes?” Lexy asks in a disapproving tone.

“Oh no, that’s comedians,” Nate replies with a chuckle.

“Ooh, burn,” she says with a laugh of her own. “So seriously, what’s in the box?”

“No idea, it’s addressed to you, but I’m dying to find out,” Nate says, putting the box down and holding out a hand to take the camera. Lexy passes it over and there’s a second or two before Nate positions it properly on his hand and then we see Lexy grabbing a pair of scissors and using them to cut the tape that’s holding the box shut. “So you seriously didn’t order anything?”

“With what money?” she asks before continuing to cut away to get the box open. “It’s exciting though, right? Who doesn’t love a mystery box?”

“I don’t know, I’m willing to bet the people who mess with the mob and get their loved ones fingers in a box weren’t overly thrilled with the whole mystery box thing,” Nate suggests in an upbeat tone. The tone quickly changes as Lexy’s expression goes from excited to puzzled as she opens the box, and then to outright shocked as she picks up the note and reads it. “Who’s it from?”

“It’s... from my mum,” she says in disbelief. “She sent us... stuff for Christmas. Oh god, turn the camera off, ok babe?”

After the clips abrupt end before we begin again and it’s clearly the following day based upon the change in lighting outside again, and the fact that we can hear the sound of Christmas songs playing from an iPod. “It’s Christmas,” Lexy tells the camera happily while filming herself. She’s dressed in a slutty Santa outfit, complete with Santa hat. “Sorry about last night. It’s just I haven’t heard from my parents in weeks, I heard they were furious when they found out I’d left – especially my dad – and it’s, um... I just didn’t think I’d be hearing from them at all. Then suddenly I open that box and it’s got Christmas presents and a letter from my mum and... It just completely threw me. But today is another day, and we’ve got so much to get through today.”

“Ho, ho, ho,” Nate shouts as Lexy walks in to the lounge.

“What did you call me?” Lexy asks jokingly.

“Merry Christmas,” Nate says loudly and happily. We get a shot of the lounge and the four presents under the tree as we abruptly cut from the doorway to the middle of the room where Lexy is now presumably sitting on the couch and filming Nate shaking the box that she wrapped up the day before. “Ok, I give up. What is it?”

“Open it and find out,” Lexy replies with a laugh. “Did your family make you guess what your presents were before you could open them? I just used to charge over to the Christmas tree every Christmas morning and start ripping stuff open.”

“Yeah, I can imagine,” Nate says with a smirk. He places the box down in front of him and rubs his hands eagerly before reaching down and ripping open the paper, then looks up at her curiously. “You bought me a cardboard box? Oh babe, you shouldn’t have!”

“I know, right? I thought you could have hours of fun with the lid alone,” she says jokingly as Nate finishes ripping off the paper. “Seriously though, I hope you’re going to like it. It was kind of last minute, but I really liked it when I got it home last night.”

He removes the lid before the smirk on his face turns in to a full smile and he removes the tights from the box happily. “Damn, this is awesome,” he says happily. “Where the hell did you get these?!”

“I found a little store that sells stuff,” she tells him happily. “You really like them?”

“Are you kidding? Of course I do. I’m going to wear them later,” he says with a laugh before reaching under the tree and removing the three remaining wrapped up gifts before sliding two of them over toward Lexy and looking at the one left with him. “So, what do you think your mum got me?”

“I have absolutely no idea,” she says before turning the camera around to point at herself. “Hey mum, if you’re watching this, Merry Christmas! I didn’t know how to react last night, but thank you so much and I love you!”

We hear the sound of paper ripping before Lexy turns the camera back on to Nate again, who finishes ripping off the paper before laughing and holding the present up to the camera. It’s a box of Calvin Klein boxer shorts. “Hey Mrs Adams, this is an incredible mother-in-law gift,” he says with a huge grin. “If I didn’t know better, I’d swear you might actually like me.”

He gets up and grabs the camera off Lexy, and we see a shot of the room for a moment as he sits back down on the floor and points the camera back at her. She picks up the two gifts off the floor and rips the paper right off one of them before smiling happily. “Aw, thanks mum! She sent me my jewellery box,” she tells Nate, holding it up happily. “I loved this jewellery box so much. She got it for me when I was seven.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t bring it with you,” Nate tells her.

“Well, I was in a rush to get out of there, and it’s not like I could pack a suitcase and sneak it out without anyone seeing, was it?” she reminds him. “I had to leave so much stuff behind. I figured my dad would never let me have any of it back, but then mum sends me this for Christmas. It’s amazing. Ok, what else did she send me?”

She reaches down and picks up a much smaller box, looking at it curiously before ripping the paper off to reveal a small box. “She does know you’re already married, right?” Nate asks jokingly. “I mean, if there’s a wedding ring in there...”

“Yeah, my MUM is proposing to me long distance,” Lexy says with a roll of her eyes before opening the box and just staring in disbelief. “Oh wow...”

“It IS a wedding right, isn’t it?” Nate says jokingly again.

“No, it’s my grandmother’s locket,” Lexy says softly before picking it out of the box and opening it up before showing the camera the pictures inside. On the left there’s a picture of her family, on the right there’s a picture of Nate. “Oh my god, she put your picture in there... help me put this on!”

Nate puts the camera up somewhere, possibly a camera stand, that’s still pointing at Lexy and at the couch before rushing over and helping her with the locket. He fastens it up around her neck and she looks at it happily before grabbing Nate and the two of them kiss. “Damn, that’s going to be tough to compete with,” Nate mutters before smiling at her. “But... I still think you’ll like my gift.”

“I thought you said you didn’t get anything,” Lexy says with a confused look. “You said that you looked but there was nothing you could afford. I thought that’s what took so long.”

“Yeah, and I lied. I am a hell of a liar,” he tells her with a grin.

“Wow, you actually ARE,” she says, obviously not expecting a surprise.

“Ok, wait here,” he says before leaping up off the couch and rushing over toward the door. Lexy gets up and grabs the camera, moving slowly over toward the door again. Nate is gone for about a minute before the door opens and he stands there with his back to the camera. It’s not immediately obviously what he has in his arms until we hear a bark and Lexy shrieks excitedly. “Ok, I think that’s a good noise.”

Nate spins around revealing a Dachshund in his arms and Lexy shrieks again excitedly. “Oh my god, no way,” she says, quickly putting the camera on the back of the couch and running over to Nate. We can’t see them probably, the tops of their heads are cut off from the awkward angle and it’s not quite straight on, but Lexy hugs Nate excitedly before grabbing the dog and kissing his head. “Oh my god, he’s SO CUTE!”

Nate walks over to the camera as we see Lexy hugging the dog excitedly as he wags his tail frantically. He picks up the camera and points it at himself before nodding proudly. “Hell yeah, do I get the best gifts? You bet your ass.”

The scene cuts from the living room to the kitchen, where Nate is clearly the one filming and Lexy is standing in the kitchen stuffing the turkey and really not looking happy about it. “Oh god, this is by far the single grossest thing I’ve ever done,” she says before looking over at Nate. “Oh, and you’re filming this? Ok, answer me this. Who was the first person who ever stuffed a turkey, and what the hell was he thinking? I mean, it HAD to be a guy who came up with this. Seriously, did he look at the turkey and think ‘you know what? I feel like shoving my hand up inside there and putting something in there, I bet it’ll be delicious’. What kind of nut would do that?”

“A genius would,” Nate tells her happily. “I love stuffing.”

“Why does that not surprise me?” Lexy asks before rolling her eyes. She looks at the small oven and then at the turkey before raising a curious eyebrow. “Um, baby? You did check this would fit in the oven before you bought it, right?”

“...don’t say things like that,” Nate says with a worried tone.

The scene abruptly switches to Lexy dancing in the kitchen as ‘Dancing in the Moonlight’ by Toploader plays on the iPod. It’s once again clearly Nate who’s filming as he zooms in on her ass and she shakes it for him. “You like the view baby?”

“I’m definitely enjoying it from here,” he says with a laugh. “How’s the food coming?”

Lexy spins around to the song before kneeling down and opening the oven, then shuts the door and looks over her shoulder with concern. “Err, it’s not ready yet.”

“I thought you said it would be,” Nate says with a worried tone.

“I don’t know, maybe I miscalculated the amount of time it takes to cook a turkey?” she says with a worried look. “Or maybe our crappy fucking oven can’t cook it? Because... yeah, it’s definitely not cooked yet.”

“Well now long do you think?” he asks.

“How should I know?” Lexy replies with a shrug. We cut from that to another clip of her in the kitchen, this time with ‘The Bad Touch’ by Bloodhound Gang playing in the apartment. “Oh god, why am I not surprised you picked this song?”

“Because you and me baby, we’re nothing but animals, and you know this,” he says with a laugh. “And I do so love doing you like they do on the Discovery Channel.”

Rather than respond with anything sexual, Lexy just looks over her shoulder. “I think I ruined the bread sauce,” she says with a worried look. “It’s... very... watery.”

“It’s cool, I don’t even like bread sauce,” Nate replies with a shrug. “How’s the turkey?”

Lexy leans down and looks in the oven before shaking her head. “This turkey is determined to not cook. It’s like it’s resisting,” she says before laughing. “The turkey’s are fighting back to ruin Christmas!”

We cut from that to another short clip of Lexy in the kitchen with the Dachshund humping her leg and her just looking down at him disapprovingly. “Aw, he likes you,” Nate tells her while laughing. “I’ll give him credit as well, he has good taste.”

“You’d think I’d be used to this by now, but now I’m a little worried I’m going to have him on one leg and you on the other,” she says with a roll of her eyes.

“Ooh, inter-species threesome,” Nate replies, almost too excitedly, before seeing the look on Lexy’s face of disgust. “Ok, maybe not. We’ll keep that one in reserve until you’re drunk enough.”

We cut from there to another clip, even later in the day. This time it’s getting dark outside again, so clearly a lot of time has passed, and there’s a half-cooked turkey on the side with large chunks of it cut off. The sound of the microwave dinging is heard as Lexy carefully removes a plate from the microwave and looks at it suspiciously. “Can you actually microwave turkey?”

“I think so,” he replies a little nervously. “Maybe you should put it back in the oven with the rest of the stuff anyway.”

“Oh shit, the potatoes,” Lexy replies, pulling open the oven only for smoke to come out. We hear the sound of the smoke detector going off as Nate bursts out laughing and again we abruptly cut away from that to a close up shot of the plates. It’s now dark outside and on the plates are a few pieces of impeccably well cut turkey, burnt potatoes, some very liquidly bread sauce, several types of vegetable, some of which are slightly blacker than they should be, and on one of the plates a huge pile of stuffing. We hear Lexy’s voice from behind the camera. “Ok, so... this is Christmas dinner.”

“It looks great,” Nate says, actually sounding genuine. Lexy lifts the camera up to focus on him as he stands by her side examining the two plates. “I mean ok, the potatoes got a bit ruined, and the sauce is... not that great, but the turkey looks amazing, and the vegetables are...”

“This is a disaster,” Lexy says with a loud sigh. She sounds genuinely upset, as though she’s about to cry. “I am SO useless! All I wanted to do was cook Christmas dinner but first the stupid oven wouldn’t work properly and then the potatoes and the vegetables burned and—”

We hear her begin to cry and she puts the camera down on the counter and walks off in to the other room. Nate chases after her, and we can make out him on the edge of the shot but not her. “It’s ok baby. No, really, is it. You know, it’s your first real attempt at this, and the oven was mostly to blame for it anyway. I mean some stuff it won’t even cook, other stuff it burns to a crisp, and besides even with all of that it STILL looks good.”

“It looks HORRIBLE,” she replies emotionally.

“Ok, so it didn’t all go flawlessly, but you know what? Even with the potatoes burned and the sauce runny and everything else, I’d still rather eat this dinner a thousand times over than I would be anywhere else in the world right now,” he tells her genuinely. “Maybe it’s not perfect, but dammit it’s our first Christmas together and I’m going to sit down and I’m going to eat every single thing on the plate. And if I have to, I’ll eat every single thing on your plate too just to show you that you and me being together is all that matters today. So, what do you say you come back to the kitchen and we sit down and we eat Christmas dinner together? And, you know, that way if it kills me, it’ll kill you as well.”

We see her punch him before wrapping her arms around him. Just then, as they stand there hugging each other, we see the dog walk in front of the camera – on top of the counter top, and start licking the turkey.

We cut to a shot of Lexy sitting on the bed, the camera stationery in front of her, as she sits there stroking the Dachshund who’s laying peacefully in front of her. “So, we finally finished editing the Christmas Special earlier,” she says with a laugh. “Christmas Day didn’t exactly go the way I thought it would, but we got through it ok I think. And just in case anyone is worrying, neither one of us had food poising. Nate almost broke a tooth on the overcooked vegetables, but we’re both still alive so that’s something positive, right? And the bigger news right now is that we heard earlier today about a late Christmas present. We found out earlier that on the 13th of January the Chapel Show is making its official in-ring debut at EXPRO on FX #10 and I don’t think either one of us could be more genuinely excited about this. First off, I want to thank everyone involved in EXODUS Pro for giving us this opportunity. I know we’re both very young and we don’t have a whole lot of pro wrestling experience behind us, but we’ve both been training for this since we were little kids. I don’t want to speak for Nate, but I know that I’ve never been this excited about anything in my ENTIRE life! When we first found out about the match I screamed like a little girl in excitement.”

She smiles at the camera before shrugging her shoulders. “What? You’ve all heard me shriek already, it’s kind of what I do. But I really did shriek in excitement when I found out about the match, and both Nate and me know this isn’t going to be easy but both Nate and me are determined that we’re going to make our mark on this company. We came here, to America, both to be together and to find an opportunity, and we both knew that when somebody took a chance on us that we’d make absolutely sure they didn’t regret it. I promise you that everybody at EXODUS Pro are NOT going to regret this,” she says with confidence. “You see this is the week that it all changes for us. This is the debut of the Chapel Show, already being hyped as the Series Premiere, and we’re not some unknown Cable show that will get cancelled after six episodes. You may look at us right now like we’re this unknown quantity, you’re not sure if you’re going to love us or hate us, but whether you do end up cheering us or booing wildly whenever we walk down that ramp there’s one thing that we promise we’ll deliver better than anyone else, and that’s passion. Nate and me are both incredibly passionate about what we do, and both have dreams. We’re looking to become the EXPRO Tag Team Champions, and our dreams don’t stop there. Right now we’ve been booked for the equivalent of ten episodes, with nobody sure if they should really be taking this risk. They’ve got a few backups in mind, ready to pull us and put in a mid-season replacement to cover our spot, but after a few weeks they’re going to be begging for a full season of twenty four episodes.”

She smiles confidently at the camera and nods her head assuredly. “You see Nate and me, we were BORN to do this, and you know what makes us different to other tag teams? We’re not two egotistical dicks who are teaming up to try and get our names out there, only to turn around and stab each other in the back the first time either one of us has a sniff of singles success. We’re TOGETHER for life. We’ve made a commitment to each other outside of the wrestling business, and it’ll extend far in to the wrestling business as well. We love each other, we know each other better than we know ourselves, and when it comes to tag team wrestling that means every other tag team better watch out,” she warns with a passionate tone. “You see we’re willing to put our bodies on the line to win, but we’re also willing to put our bodies on the line for each other. We’ll fight for each other, not for ourselves. That makes us powerful. If you think you can just shrug us aside then you’re wrong. There won’t be anyone just knocking us aside, we’re going to fight with everything we have. There won’t be anyone distracting us, we may not have years of experience but we were both born in to this business, born to do this, and we’re both willing to do whatever it takes to get the job done. You already know our names after all, right? You’ve seen our tweets. You’ve seen the web show. This week, you get to see the two of us live and in person!”

“We’re going to need teamwork this week as well, because we’re going up against two guy’s way bigger than we are,” she says with a little worry on her face. “If you were to ask me right now if that makes me a little scared then I’ll tell you I’d be stupid not to be. Two guys, one two hundred and forty pounds and the other two hundred and sixty. We’re going up against five hundred pounds of wrestling talent this week, five hundred pounds of two guys looking to beat us and humiliate us on our debut so they can make their mark and they can leave us behind. I’m not saying that as a negative, I mean that’s just what you do in this business. When you get the opportunity, you take advantage and you put your opponent down on the mat. This isn’t ballet after all, we’re not here to dance the Nutcracker, we’re here to fight until one team emerges victorious and this first week, this is going to be a hell of a challenge. On one side of this team this week you’ve got a man who refers to himself as ‘The Filth’. That’s a pretty intimidating nickname to come across in your first match, when you consider the likely reasons he calls himself that. It’s probably not because he forgot how to use a shower. I’ve checked this guy out, I’ve been doing all the research I can and watching matches on YouTube. He’s a brawler with a background in bank robbery. That’s not the description of a guy you’d want to meet in a dark alley, is it?”

“Despite his background though, despite a lifetime of legal issues, Adrien Cochrane took a chance on this guy. I don’t know why. I don’t know if Adrien saw potential in him, or just felt sorry for him, but either way you put a piece of clay in front of a man like Adrien Cochrane and he’s likely to mould something dangerous. A guy with a history of breaking the rules, a guy known for scooping opponents up and powerbombing them to the mat, now stands this week across the ring from a little girl. A little girl in her first ever professional tag team match. Am I scared? Damn right I am, but see here’s the thing about fear. It doesn’t stop me, it motivates me. So Adrien Cochrane took a piece of clay and shaped it in to a pro-wrestler, a pro-wrestler with smarts, brawling ability and power, but a pro-wrestler who’s never taken it as seriously as he should. You can’t deny it Chris, we’ve all seen you fail to live up to your potential. A guy like you, two hundred and sixty pounds, you should be dominating the little leagues like this. A guy with your size, your power, you should own this company by now, but you don’t. Instead, you’re the welcoming party for the new guys. And that must upset you. That must make you pretty mad. You must be looking at this match as an opportunity of your own, a chance to come out and beat the little blonde and her husband in to the ground so that you can show that we don’t belong here and you do. Problem – we do belong here. That’s what we’ve come here to prove, and we’re going to prove it by knocking you off Chris. How’s that make you feel? Does that make you angry? Good. Bring the anger. Try and take me down. Lift me up, and see if I don’t drop you right back down on your face.”

“You see I look at a guy like you Chris, a guy who’s wasted every chance he had in this life, and I don’t see a six foot three dominator, I see a fraud. I see a guy who has the size but never had the ability. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe by being wrong that means you’re going to beat some knowledge in to me this week. But maybe I’m right, and maybe when you try and put me down you’ll open your eyes a few moments later and realise that you’ve failed again. You think you can use someone like me to make your mark, but I want to use someone like you, someone twice my size, to make MY mark. I want to get noticed Chris. I want to get noticed by men like Jonathan Collins, guys who HAVEN’T wasted their natural talents, guys who have made a name for themselves. And if that means that this week I need to beat a brawler then that’s what I’ll do,” she says before smiling, and then her expression changes again to one of a little more concern. “But, of course, it’s not JUST Chris Marks this week. If Chris is intimidating with his size, then what is Braxton Bennett? He’s just as big, just as intimidating, but he comes with an extra little intimidating factor because he’s got a name that’s supposed to strike fear in to you, ‘The Unholy Disciple’. And I’ll be honest Braxton, if you’re going to pick a name, that’s a hell of one to go with. It certainly sends a message. It certainly strikes a lot of fear.”

 “And as much as I’ve researched Chris, I’ve done even more research on you Braxton. You’re a brawler as well, a guy who just beats down opponents, am I right? A guy like you, he’s never going to be mistaken for a gentleman. He’s going to have no problem getting in the ring with a girl like me and making her scream. I’m not expecting anyone to go lightly on me, but sometimes you find guys who understand you’re not as strong as them, who understand you’re not as big as them, and they take it to you on your terms. Not Braxton. He’s the kind of guy who’ll hurt you for fun, am I right? He wants to be a bad-ass, and he thinks he is. He’s the kind of guy who shows off the fact he’s got a gun thinking it makes him tough, thinking it makes him more of a man, but you’re not a MAN Braxton, you’re just a little boy. I’ve seen your kind before, always turning your nose up at authority, thinking you should be allowed to live by your own rules, that the normal rules don’t apply to someone like you because you’re a special case, am I right? But you’re not. A guy like you can’t live within the rules because he has no respect for them, and no respect for anything else. But this business Braxton – and take this from a second generation wrestler – this business is BUILT on respect, and the moment you go on your own, the moment you shun those who paved the way for you then you start walking a very lonely road. You’re not worried about that right now though, are you? You think you’ll cruise through to success regardless, and maybe you’re right. You tower over me, you’re bigger than Nate, just you alone could probably dominate two people our size... but not us.”

She grins confidently. “You see this week boys, we have something that you don’t. We have teamwork. We have a partnership. You boys are both out for yourselves, right? Everything I know about you says you’re out for yourself, out to beat the opposition on your own and make your own name, but we’re not. Nate and I don’t have individual egos; our ego comes from how GOOD we’re going to be TOGETHER. And as much as you may hurt me this week, I know I’ll hate Nate to watch my back, to save me when it matters, and as much as you may try to hurt him he knows he’ll have the same. This week the Chapel Show make our mark. This week the Chapel Show shows the world that we’re the future of this division, we’re the future stars in EXODUS Pro, and to do it all we’ve got to do is take out two guys who tower over us. Well you know what? I’ve always enjoyed a challenge. So boys? Bring your worst this week. Because this week the Chapel Show makes it’s long awaited debut, it’s the Series Premiere, and this week we plan to be the ratings winners, while you two will, if we get our way, just go home having lost the war, both for the ratings and for the match.”

“Like what you see?” she asks confidently. “Rate the video, subscribe to the Chapel Show, and all the details on the video are in the comments section below. We’ll see you next week, when hopefully we’ll be able to give you news that the Chapel Show debuted with a bang! Later, fuckers!”

The Chapel Show logo flashes up on the screen with a reminder to subscribe before the video ends and the replay button appears in the middle of the screen.