One Week Ago
Las Vegas, Nevada

I didn’t really imagine this is what life would be like. I mean that’s partly because I’ve never really been the kind of person to think about tomorrow, I don’t have long term plans, I don’t even have a savings account anymore. I’m very much about living in the moment, enjoying the moment, getting every little bit of fun you can out of that moment before you even think about moving on. Even so, in those brief moments back home when I did think about my future I didn’t think it would be quite this difficult. Even as I think that though I can hear my mother’s voice in my head...

‘Well Alexandra, that’s what you get for being so impulsive! That’s what you get for running away with a guy you barely know and getting married. How did you think he was going to support you?’

That’s totally what she’d say, too. And yeah, I’ll admit, this whole thing did start because we were impulsive, but mostly because we were sick of pretending to be people we weren’t. I was sick of having to pretend that I didn’t feel what I felt for Nate just because my parents wouldn’t have understood. I like to think that Nate was sick of pretending he didn’t feel what he felt for me as well. Yeah we were impulsive, I mean what else do you call it when you pack up a few bags and run away to another country together without a plan or a penny to your name? And yeah we did barely know each other, but it’s not like our parents would have given us a whole lot of time to figure each other out, is it? If I’d invited Nate over to meet my parents my dad would have killed him just for talking to me, let alone doing anything else to me. I don’t even want to know what Nate’s dad would have done if he found out about us. But why should we be made to suffer because they have a rivalry? Why shouldn’t I be allowed to get to know Nate Chapel just because my surname happened to be Adams? That hardly seems fair!

Oh, and just for the record I never asked to be supported. I never once imagined that I’d meet a guy and he’d take care of me for the rest of my life. I didn’t want to meet a guy and become a ‘wife’, in that way I guess my mother was always a powerful role model for me. She didn’t get ‘supported’ by my dad; she was powerful and independent while at the same time balancing that with being a mother and a wife. She showed me that what I wanted in life wasn’t someone to take care of me but a partner to share experiences with. I definitely found that with Nate. Even so, I never imagined this would be what our life was like together. I know we left home with nothing, but that was part of the adventure, you know? We left nothing and now here we are trying to build our lives together, trying to establish something and trying to have fun along the way, with the single defining thing about us remaining the fact that we still have nothing. No matter what we do, no matter how hard we try right now that just seems to remain the case and while some months have been better than others, this month has been especially harsh to the point that our rent is due soon and we still don’t have it.

“Don’t go to work,” Nate pleaded with me as I turned the alarm off and started to get out of bed. I’d already hit snooze twice, there really wasn’t time to hit it a third time. It hadn’t really felt much like I’d slept at all though. I was working late last night and it was almost 2am by the time I got in to find Nate had already fallen asleep waiting for me. Now it was barely 6am and I was dragging myself out of bed again in preparation for another very long day waiting tables. The diner wasn’t doing great lately though, turnover was definitely down and those who did come weren’t exactly generous with their tips. I made about fifteen dollars in tips yesterday despite the fact I worked a ten hour shift. It just didn’t seem even slightly fair. “Seriously, don’t go. Stay in bed. Stay with me! Screw the money, we’ll work something out with the landlord or... or we’ll sell something.”

“I keep telling you, you don’t have the street cred to be intimidating as a pimp,” I said half-jokingly as I yawned. The whole thing had started off as a joke a few months ago with Nate jokingly suggesting that he become my pimp and we make money that way. As the months had gone on though and we’d struggled more and more financially it was starting to get to the point where it was almost not a joke anymore, like sometimes when we joked about it there was entirely too much seriousness there. When it was a joke it was funny, it was even a little sexy imagining myself as Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, except that I know that’s not the way it would really be and I can’t even imagine putting myself through that, no matter how desperate I get for money. I’d rather keep working the crazy hours at the diner, at least that’s honest money. I stretched out as I got out of bed and felt Nate reaching out toward me. “Babes seriously, you have no idea how much I want to stay but I can’t. I’ve got to go; they’re expecting me at work. Julia’s sick so they let me cover her shift.”

“We can figure something else out,” Nate told me in complete seriousness. “I mean, you can’t keep doing this to yourself. You’re exhausted, you’re barely sleeping. And I have that job interview, remember? Proper grown up job, no more goofing around...”

He has no idea how much I appreciate the effort he’s putting in. I tried to show him as I leant down to kiss him and the first thing he did was try and pull me back in to the bed. I couldn’t stop myself from laughing as I slipped out of his grip, knowing that he still wasn’t in any physical condition to chase me down, and got back off the bed again before shaking my head, while still laughing. Probably seriously mixed signals there, right? “I’m serious babes, I need to go. I appreciate the thought, and you have no idea how much I hope you get this job – even if you won’t tell me what it’s doing or give me any other detail about it at all – but you haven’t got the job yet,” I said with a sigh before grabbing my spare dress and apron from the side. “The moment you get the job I promise you that I’ll spend any morning you want in bed with you, how’s that?”

“Hey, when I get the job you’re quitting waitressing,” he told me with an authoritative look. I just laughed and he nodded his head. He wasn’t serious, I know him way too well to know that, but he was certainly pretending to be. “No, seriously, you’ll have to quit because I’ll be coming home and I’ll be expecting you there with my slippers and cooking my dinner. If you’re working too I’ll be coming down to that diner all like ‘bitch, where’s my dinner?’, you know, all manly and the like.”

I laughed, but tried to stop myself and pretended to look serious. “Oh, I’ll definitely be cooking your dinner,” I told him with a nod of my head but a very sarcastic tone to my voice. “I mean, you’re the man of the apartment, you need to be treated as such, right? So when you’re earning the big bucks I’ll be the perfect wife. Every day I’ll clean, every evening I’ll cook and every night I’ll pleasure you in a hundred different ways.”

“Oh hell yeah, that shit right there is the American Dream,” he said jokingly before pulling back the sheets and patting the bed, trying his best to be seductive. “And I think you need some practice right now, so come wife...”

“Later,” I promised him before blowing a kiss and heading in to the bathroom. I didn’t have a whole lot of time to get ready so I jumped in the shower and brushed my teeth at the same time – an odd experience but one that Nate swears by – and didn’t even have time to properly dry my hair before I got dressed and stumbled out of the bathroom and back in to the bedroom again, looking around for my shoes. Nate was fast asleep again (how he sleeps through the hairdryer I have no idea but I swear that sound actually seems to put him to sleep) and I almost didn’t notice the fact that he had my shoes in the bed with him, another playful effort at stopping me going to work. I know he’s just goofing around and deep down he knows we need the money, but I really do wish I could just say fuck it and spend the day in bed with him. Like I said, this isn’t how I imagined life would turn out. I didn’t imagine making rent would be this difficult, that getting shifts would be this awkward, and that I’d have almost no time to dedicate toward either the Chapel Show or my wrestling career, both of which are the reason that I’m even working this much to begin with. How does that even work? I have to work so much I don’t have time to do the things that are the reason I have to work so much. Ugh, if I think too much about that it’ll give me a migraine.

I stumbled in to work five minutes late and looked over at Oscar apologetically. He’s the chef. Really amazingly nice guy as well! I felt guilty for being late, and he made me feel even guiltier by telling me that it wasn’t a big deal and acting grateful just for the fact that I took the shift, when the truth is that I was the one who was grateful for the chance to earn a few more bucks. “If you hadn’t volunteered we’d be a waitress short and... yeah, don’t worry about it,” he told me, flashing me that cheeky grin that seemed to work on so many girls. Oscar’s one of the chefs, part owner of the diner and the reason I have the job. He also has this incredibly cheeky Mexican laugh. I call it a Mexican laugh because I swear that while he doesn’t have a strong accent when he talks, he has a crazy strong one when he laughs. No idea how that works. Then again, I bet they probably say weirder things about me, being the odd British chick. “Truth is I felt bad about the other day. You busted your ass and you didn’t make no money. I swear some people are just dicks.”

“Yeah, but we knew that,” I told him with a grin before leaning on the counter looking around the diner. They’d been open 2 hours. At the moment the only person in the diner was Jorge, a kindly old guy who came in every morning. He didn’t tip much either, but at least he was one of the nice ones. Sandy walked over with his order and just laughed as she jumped up on one of the stools at the bar and sat down. “Let me guess, the normal?”

“I don’t even write it down anymore,” she said with a roll of her eyes. Oscar started cooking as Sandy tapped her fingers on the counter top and looked around the restaurant. “Going to be a slow one, huh?”

“Probably, they’ve all been slow recently,” I told her with a sigh and sat down beside her. I swear from that point on, aside from when we were both flirting and joking with Jorge, at least one of us was sat down at that counter the entire day. There was just no one around. The diner wasn’t exactly in the best part of Las Vegas but before recently they’d always had a steady stream of customers, but it just seemed lately that less and less people had any money spare to spend. A lot of the regulars were coming less frequently, all the tourists who randomly walked in wouldn’t know how to tip if their lives depended on it, and it seemed to all intents and purposes like Oscar and Radovan, the majority owner, were just biding their time until the place was forced to close. That didn’t mean I wasn’t hugely appreciative for every penny they gave me along the way though, even if I was massively concerned how the hell Nate and I were going to live if the place did go bankrupt. I guess I was thinking about that or something else entirely, when I looked up to see Sandy had stopped flirting with Oscar and instead was looking over my shoulder. “What?”

I turned around to see what she was looking at to see a customer in my area, the first one in about half an hour. “Looks like you’ve got work to do girl,” Sandy told me with a grin. “Ooh, he’s a cute one too. Oh, is that the one you was talking about Os? The one with the crush on her? Oh damn, he IS cute, why couldn’t he be asking for my number?”

“Excuse me?” I asked, looking from Oscar to Sandy and back again curiously. “Who has a crush on what now?”

“This guy, he was asking about you,” Oscar told me with a grin on his face. “He wouldn’t give his name but this is like the third time he’s been in now and every time he’s been looking at you. You haven’t noticed?”

“Um, I don’t tend to notice guys gawking at me since I put on this,” I replied, pointing out my wedding ring. “Plus, when they see it it’s like guy repellent anyway...”

“Not this one,” Oscar said with a grin. “Sandy told him you was married, he didn’t seem to care.”

“Well, I care,” I said, looking over at him as he browsed the menu.

“I wouldn’t,” Sandy told me with a laugh. I shot her a dirty look and she laughed harder and shrugged her shoulders. “I mean c’mon girl, your husband is nice and all that, I don’t doubt that. We all like him. But he told me about his movie idea. That guy ain’t never gonna make no money! But this one? Oh baby, those suits he wears costs more than you make in a decade!”

“So what’re you saying, that I seduce him and steal his clothes?” I asked rhetorically before getting up and grabbing my notepad before walking across to where he was sitting. From the back he didn’t seem like anything special, just an average looking guy in an expensive looking suit. Not exactly the first time I’ve ever seen one of those. Ok, they don’t normally come in here, but that’s not the point. When I got closer though and he turned to look at me there was way more to him than just an expensive suit. He had the kind of perfect, chiselled features you see on statues, the corners of his lips turned up in the cutest smile I have seen in my life and there was something about his eyes, this deep, penetrating way he looked at me that tugged at something deep inside me. I tried to talk, but what came out was a very embarrassing squeak. “Hi.” I blushed in embarrassment. “Crap, err... I mean hi, I’m Alex; I’ll be your waitress today. Do you know what you want?”

He grinned at me, putting the menu down and looking up at me with this incredible smile. Again I felt it tug at something deep and primal inside me. “I know exactly what I want,” he told me with confidence and I felt like he was staring in to my soul, somehow reading my mind and knowing what I was thinking. “Tell me, what do you have to offer?”

“Married,” I mumbled before realising what I’d said and trying desperately to stop myself from blushing again. “Err, did I say that? I meant to say soup. We’ve got soup! It’s our chef’s famous recipe; you won’t be able to have only one bowl. Other than that we’ve got everything you see on the menu.”

“I don’t believe in menus,” he said with a shake of his head. It was a very weird statement, and from anyone else it would have seem just that, weird, but somehow when he said it there was something exciting about it. “Tell me, Alex, what do you recommend?”

I swallowed hard. What the hell was this guy doing to me?! “The soup,” I managed to mutter, “or, err... when my husband comes in he always gets the burger. The third one right there on the menu that, err... you don’t believe in. So, um, yeah... and coffee! Everyone loves coffee, right?”

“Burger, coffee... sounds perfect,” he said before smiling at me again. I wrote down the order and swallowed hard again.

“Will there be anything else?” I asked nervously. He shook his head and I quickly skipped off before he could say anything else. When I got back to the bar I slid the order across the counter to Oscar before looking at Sandy who was just grinning at me. “Oh god, you said he was cute, you didn’t say he was... I mean wow! Oh god, what the hell is wrong with me? You take him! You said you wanted to give him your number, go for it, he’s all yours.”

“I don’t think it’s my number he wants,” she said with a smirk.

“I can’t go back over there,” I said with a shake of my head. Of course a minute later I was back over there, trying not to actually look in his eyes as I gave him his coffee and smiled and did all the good waitressy things that I’ve done with a thousand other customers before. When the burger was done cooking I took that over to him as well and I kept looking up at the clock. Amber was already in and due to take over the table in just a few minutes and I knew that if he just took a few moments more to finish his dinner I could go off shift and not have to deal with any more awkward moments between us, but of course he finished up and raised his hand, asking for the bill. Sandy only encouraged me, which she definitely shouldn’t have, as I prepared the bill and walked over to the table. “Will that be all, sir? Did you enjoy your lunch?”

“That was fantastic, my compliments to the chef,” he said with another smile that I tried not to pay attention to. “How much do I owe?”

“That’s nine dollars and seventy two cents,” I said softly. He reached in to the inner pocket of his suit jacket and removed a wallet before pulling out a crisp bill and hand it over to me.

“Keep the change,” he said confidently and began walking out.

For a moment I didn’t even anything of it. You tell someone around here they owe nine dollars, they give you ten and think you should praise them for the twenty eight cent tip. Still not as bad as the ones who wait for their twenty eight cents of change. I almost didn’t think anything more about it, still a little rocked by just how incredible this guy was, until I looked down at the bill in my hand just as he walked out of the restaurant and realised it wasn’t a ten, but it was a hundred. I stared in disbelief. That’s an epic ninety dollar and twenty eight cent tip, more from one customer than I’ve made in tips my last three shifts combined. I seriously thought about just taking it for a moment before my conscience got the best of me and I rushed to the door. “Hey,” I called out as he walked down the bath. It was probably the British accent more than just the fact that someone called out that made him stop and turn around as I quickly walked down the street to see him. “I think you made a mistake. This is a hundred dollar bill.”

“I know, I don’t keep anything smaller on me,” he told me with absolute confidence.

“Ok wow, that’s something I’ve never been able to say once in my life,” I muttered before shaking my head. “Well, err, that’s like a ninety dollar tip. Don’t you want the change?”

“No,” he said with a slow shake of his head.

“You’re kidding me, right?” I asked in disbelief. “You can’t tip ninety dollars! NO ONE tips ninety dollars!”

“I do,” he told me with a grin.

“No,” I told him, holding out the hundred dollar bill for him to take back. “No, that’s crazy. It’s way too much. You’ve got to have something smaller. Hell I’d rather you didn’t pay than you give me that as a tip.”

He just looked at me and started laughing. I guess given the circumstances it probably was pretty funny, I mean I can’t imagine that there have been many people who refused to take his overly generous tips before but I wasn’t about to do it. I didn’t need charity from him or anyone else, no matter how bad my situation was financially. I refused to listen to Jonathan Collins when he started trying to talk money with me; I definitely wasn’t going to take this from some cute guy in expensive clothes. “You don’t need to worry about it, if you’d like I can call my accountant and he can confirm I can afford it,” he told me with a grin on his face as I continued to hold the money out to him. He didn’t seem like he was about to take it back though, which upon reflection may have been a good thing considering I barely made enough in tips today to actually cover his meal. “You did a good job. You were a very good waitress. You earned it.”

“I wasn’t ninety dollars of good,” I replied, shaking my head and still holding the money out. “Look, I don’t need your charity, ok? I know you’ve got the hots for me. You’ve been asking about me. Well, you’re cute but I’m not a charity case. I don’t need your money.”

“How much did you make in tips today?” he asked casually.

“What?” I asked, shaking my head again. “None of your business!”

“Well in the time I was in there you only served me the whole time, so I’m guessing it wasn’t much. The place is always quiet, that’s why I first decided to drop in. And you’re not from around here, that much is obvious. You’re here for what? To follow a dream?” he asked casually, and it began to worry me how good he was at this. “So you’re working as a waitress and you don’t want my money? Either your husband is loaded and you do this for fun, which I doubt somehow, or it’s a pride thing for you. And if its pride then let me tell you that while I was sitting at lunch I made more money than I gave you, so I had a nice meal with good service and I’m still in profit for the last hour. It’s only ninety dollars.”

“Its ninety dollars,” I said in a completely different tone to him. It was almost like he didn’t care about that amount of money at all, while I couldn’t just walk away with it. “Look, I don’t know who you are or what world you live in but this is the real world, ok? And in the real world you don’t give waitresses nine hundred percent tips! That’s... I mean, that’s so unreal I can’t even think of a word to describe it!”

He just grinned at me again and reached in to his pocket, pulling out his hand again to reveal a business card. I looked at it and then up at him, wondering what the hell was going on. “Take it,” he instructed, looking in to my soul again with those deep eyes. I nervously reached out and took the card and he smiled at me again. “I like you. You’ve made it very, very clear you’re married. I don’t care, I like you anyway. This little gig you’ve got going though isn’t going to last much longer. The diner is going under, anyone can see that. You need another job? You call me.”

“I’m not a charity case,” I repeated again defiantly.

He leant in closer to me and lowered his voice. “That’s why I like you,” he said softly before turning and walking off, leaving me standing in the street watching him walking away confidently still with the hundred dollar bill in my hand but now his business card as well. I then realised that I didn’t even know his name before and I looked down at the card. It didn’t even have a job title or a company or anything else written on it, all it had was a phone number and a name: Lincoln Foster. I don’t know what he wanted, why he gave me his card or what kind of job he’d randomly offer to a British waitress slash wrestler with no experience doing anything in her life. I also couldn’t work out if this was something I should talk to Nate about or not...

THE CHAPEL SHOW
Episode: S01E09
Date: 24/04/2014

The video begins and we see The Chapel Show logo on the screen. The logo slowly fades away and we see the inside of the Chapel apartment, but not the lounge where the vast majority of the videos seem to begin but this time the kitchen. There’s nothing that notable about the kitchen. There are a number of cabinets in the background all with dark wooden doors, a hob directly in front of the camera we can only see the edge of, and a sink off to the right of the shot. There’s also a table in the middle of the room with one each either side. Sitting on the table with her legs crossed, wearing only a t-shirt with the words ‘I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life’ on the front and a pair of pink underwear, sits Lexy Chapel. She nods toward the camera. “What’s up fuckers? I’m Lexy Chapel and they say that money can’t buy happiness, but whoever said that never tried to buy me,” she says before flashing a cheeky smile at the camera. “Welcome to the Chapel Show, and I know what you’re thinking. It’s been THREE WEEKS Lexy, where the hell have you been? Yeah, I’m sorry about that, the last few weeks have been kind of busy. There’s been a lot going on, but most of it is actually really boring. There’s been doctor’s appointments, job interviews and working – so much working – but the good news is that we’re back now for our ninth episode, and it’s about time as well because honestly, I missed you guys. Seriously, the one message of support I’ve gotten from doing these videos just lifted my spirits...”

She rolls her eyes jokingly. “Ok, we all know that the Chapel Show is hardly the most watched thing on the planet, but more seriously the support from you guys has been incredible. I’m really sorry about the last few weeks, as you guys already know Nate and I are having a few cash flow problems right now – the major part of the problem being we have no cash to flow – and I’ve been super busy with work at crazy hours and everything else. But when we came out here we did say that real life was NEVER going to get in the way of fun, and I like to think that between the two of us we’re still keeping that dream alive with these videos, with talking to you guys and with living a dream in EXODUS Pro, which just for the record you should tell all your friends about. Seriously, even if you’re watching this video for the first time, even if you had NO IDEA I was even a professional wrestler and you just saw the picture of me sitting here in my underwear and this snazzy shirt and you wanted to check out the blonde girl with the pretty boobies – they are pretty by the way, Nate tells me he’d testify to that under oath – then it doesn’t matter, still pick up your cell phone and phone every single contact and tell them to check out EXPRO on FX #15, on FX obviously, on Monday night. It’s going to be an amazing show,” she says with a confident nod before pausing. “Ok, have you done that? What do you mean you’re not going to? Oh, well, now you’ve blown your chance to see my special surprise...”

She crosses her arms and pouts before acting like she’s going to get off the table and walk away before turning back to the camera and grinning, sitting back in the middle of the table and crossing her legs again. “Ok, seriously though, you guys are amazing and we do love you all. Without you guys supporting us I don’t think we’d have gotten as far as we have yet in our wrestling careers, I definitely know I wouldn’t be the current reigning EXODUS Pro International Champion – and if you wonder why I smile when I say that even when I’m trying to do a serious voice it’s because I’m the freaking EXODUS PRO INTERNATIONAL CHAMPION and that’s just worth smiling about any day of the week – and while we’re not doing that great in our lives right now, we’re both confident that we’re going to turn it around, just like I turned it around against Johnny Cannon at the last show, which was like three weeks ago now,” she says before pouting again and looking sad at the amount of time since the last time she was competing. “And sure, that may be one of the worst segues I’ve ever done but I really wanted to talk about this. So, three weeks ago, EXPRO on FX #14, I went one on one with arguably the biggest name opponent I’ve ever had. I say arguably because you could make the argument that Jerry Matthews is a huge name, and he really is. Jerry Matthews is huge in so many ways, except one that really counts – I heard he’s a little small downstairs, but those might just be vicious rumours I’m starting in this video, who knows!”

She smiles innocently before waving at the camera. “Hi Jerry,” she says while trying not to laugh, and then shakes her head and clears her throat to get back to being serious. “Ok, so like I said, three weeks ago was arguably the biggest name opponent I’ve had so far. It was a match one on one with Johnny Cannon. THE Johnny Cannon, movie star, wrestler, future World Champion, you know the one I’m talking about. And I went one on one with him ladies and gentlemen in what was one of the most exciting nights of my life, with really an ending that disappointed me. I mean you could argue it was really smart on his part, I mean he didn’t get beaten, he didn’t get hit with anything that could have seen him hurt, but the bigger story there is that he also didn’t finish the match. Johnny rolled out of the ring and decided he’d had enough, and I claimed another victory in my EXODUS Pro career, only it was by count out. So I’m conflicted about that. I don’t like winning that way, it’s not something I’m proud of, I can’t stand here right now telling you how amazing I am – I mean, I don’t do that anyway, even if I am really amazing, but that’s not the point – and honestly I felt a little bit cheated. I know why he did it. I mean, he’s going up against Andreas Lasiewicz – apologies if I said that wrong – this week for the World Heavyweight Championship, so he had way more on his mind than playing with a little fan girl. I get that. I mean, when did they start letting fans in the locker room anyway, am I right?”

She laughs again, her light-hearted nature showing through in all the little jokey comments that litter the point she’s making. “But still, no matter what else I was so pumped about last week, so excited, and Johnny leaving the ring like he did... I kind of feel like I want another shot at this, you know? So I’ve been debating talking to Jonathan about this, because I’m not really the kind who makes bold, crazy challenges, but I will say that I want another shot at Johnny Cannon. I want to finish what we started. And I wish him all the luck in the world against Andreas, I’d love to see him win the match, you guys know from last time everything that I said about him and just how long I’ve been a fan of his work, but I really do want to finish this thing. It’s not about the World title to me. If Johnny wins or he loses, it doesn’t bother me. I’m not asking for a shot at anything. That’s not my style. I don’t want to become one of those people who runs their mouth and makes demands. All I want is another chance in the ring with Johnny, and it probably won’t be for a while but when it happens I promise you Johnny that this time we’ll finish things in the ring. I thought you were going to be the first one who beat me, I really did. You’re an amazing competitor. You absolutely deserve the match you’ve got. But I wanted to see if I could beat you, and I still do,” she says with a confident nod. “So, that’s kind of what I’ve been itching to say for a while. I was going to say something on Twitter, then I figured Twitter wasn’t the place for it... and I didn’t know where was. Well, the Chapel Show is the place for everything, right?”

She winks playfully at the camera. “And speaking of the Chapel Show, like I said earlier it’s been three weeks so you’d think we’ve got a BILLION things to show you but we actually really don’t. We could show you me freaking out over the match I’ve got THIS week, because honestly I’m a big enough fan girl at the best of times and this week I swear I screamed with excitement so loudly that I woke up the whole building and there were dogs in California who ran to their windows and started barking when they heard it, not to mention what it did to all the animals here in Nevada. I’ve been asked by the pet’s protection people not to do it again, anyway,” she says before laughing at herself again. “So yeah, we could show you a billion clips of me completely spazzing out over teaming with Jonathan Collins – TEAM COLLINS BABY – but, well, we figured you’d seen that before because, you know, when it comes to Jon I kind of spaz out a lot. Instead we’re going to take you in a whole other direction. Instead we’ve got one video we’re going to show you from earlier this week, which I think kind of demonstrates what this whole thing means to both me and to Nate. I know Nate’s injured at the moment, they say that he might not ever be back in shape enough to compete but we’re both hoping he proves that wrong, but we’re not from a crazy, rich background, we don’t live in a Malibu mansion, and sometimes it’s not all about reaching the top of the mountain, sometimes it’s just about enjoying the climb. Enjoy the show guys!”

We cut from the kitchen of the Chapel apartment to the lounge. The second clip begins as we see Nate holding the camera and checking out his reflection in the mirror, doing a few poses with his free arm before looking over his shoulder toward the bedroom. “Ok, that’s it, I’m officially going on record as saying those steroids didn’t do shit, although I do remain as buffly and handsome as always,” he calls out to his wife and we hear her laughing from the bedroom. “Seriously, this isn’t a laughing matter. You hear all those stories about people who’ve taken steroids...”

“Babes, they were medically prescribed. You had to take them, the doctors told you to, and if you hadn’t you wouldn’t have recovered from, oh I don’t know, NEARLY DYING,” she reminds him as she walks out of the bedroom in just her underwear. We see her reflection in the mirror behind Nate’s now as she stops and looks over at him. “Are you filming yourself flexing?”

“Yeah, I was going to review the tapes,” he says with a grin. “It’s what the best athlete’s do babe, they film their performances and then they watch the game tapes. It’s why I keep suggesting that we take the camera in the bedroom and we film our performances, you know, purely for research and analysis purposes...”

“I’ll research and analyse you,” she tells him before walking off.

He looks oddly at her reflection in the mirror just before she walks off. “I can’t tell if that was a menacing threat or some kind of kinky offer, because babe you should know by now any time you want to research or analyse me I’m available,” he says jokingly, thrusting toward her as we hear her laughing again in the background. She then reappears in the mirror again, this time much closer, and wraps her arms around him before running her hands over his chest and down his body toward his waistband. “Oh yeah, you want to research daddy right now?”

“Oh god, can you NOT call yourself daddy?” she asks, rolling her eyes again. “I know you think it’s super sexy but all I can think about is my dad, and that’s the least sexy thing I can imagine.”

“Oh really?” he asks, raising an eyebrow curiously. “Because I read something interesting in a medical journal—”

“–on the Internet,” she corrects.

“Pssh, where I read it is unimportant. The point is that I read that all girls secretly fantasise about their fathers. You know, since in all likelihood daddy’s little soldier flapping about is probably the first experience girls get to that whole thing – or maybe brother’s little soldier. Did you see your brother’s naked when you were younger?”

“...I’m not answering that,” Lexy tells him before shaking her head and beginning to walk away, but he reaches out and grabs her and knocks her down in to the sofa playfully before we see him reach over for a flashlight and shine it in her face.

“YOU VILL ANSWER ZE QUESTIONS,” he says in a fake German accent, continuing to shine the light in her face. “You vill answer ze questions or you vill face the sexy, sexy consequences!”

She starts laughing and trying to shield her eyes from the light. “You are such a goof,” she says while still laughing. “Seriously, I was in such a bad mood this morning...”

“Hey, that’s my job,” he says happily. “You kick ass, I make people laugh. It’s a good dynamic and it’s working great. My only fear is what happens when I get back in the ring and become Supreme Heavyweight Champion of the Universe and YOU have to be the funny one. You’re going to need so much practice...”

“I’ll get working on that,” she says with a grin.

“But anyway, as I was saying. This fully published, official medical article that definitely wasn’t Wikipedia, at all, basically said that some psychiatrist said that all girls want their dad to bang them and all guys want to bone their mum. I mean I’d like to bone YOUR mum, but...” he says before she kicks him in the shin and he hops about groaning in pain. “Ok, that’s very immature; I was just sharing the results of my advanced medical study.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you were,” she says, rolling her eyes again before getting up off the couch. “You don’t really believe any of that stuff though, do you? Because I read in a magazine that wasn’t at all Cosmopolitan that you’re attracted to guys just like your father, but you, Mr Chapel, are about as far from my father as I could possibly get, so that either means that I’m just unusual or our relationship is doomed.”

“Or it means that you’re LYING about loving me and you’re actually only after my money,” he says before reconsidering. “No, wait, that can’t be right. I have no money. You’re after my vintage Superman action figure, aren’t you? I KNEW IT!”

She turns back and looks straight in to the camera. “Yes, I only married you so that you wouldn’t suspect that I was plotting to steal it so I could open it and watch you cry when I remove it from the original packaging,” she tells him before smirking. “I’m just THAT heartless.”

“You cold bitch,” Nate says sternly before beginning to laugh as well. “Ok, two things. Firstly, don’t even joke about removing that from the original packaging, if you did you’d actually witness me having a proper breakdown. And secondly, if I ever turn out to be like your father I’m begging you to put a bullet in my brain, because THAT is the only way you can kill a zombie.”

“I wouldn’t call my father a zombie,” Lexy replies, a little defensive.

“He’s undead of some kind, I know that. And definitely without a soul! And I mean it’s not even like he’s ginger, because I hear those fuckers don’t have souls. I don’t know what did it, but he definitely lost his soul somewhere along the way. So did my dad. Actually, I think my dad may have tried to rip the soul out of your dad to fill the empty void inside him where life and comedy should rest, where there is only bleak evil and darkness,” Nate explains almost poetically. “Honestly, I think we should make a pact right now that if either one of us ends up like our father’s we first kill them and then ourselves.”

“You want to make a murder/suicide pact with me?” Lexy asks, mildly amused. “And you’re filming this in a video that we’re likely to put on YouTube.”

“Exactly, so after you agree all four of our fans will be witnesses,” Nate says confidently. “I think it’s the only way we can guarantee that the evil doesn’t spread through another generation.”

“You don’t think that they just did what they had to do?” Lexy asks, playing devil’s advocate seemingly. “I mean, they both had long careers. They both had families to support...”

“You mean families to torment and torture,” Nate replies, a light-hearted tone to his voice again. “C’mon, we all saw the Channel 4 show; we know all the things your dad got up to. Seriously, if most of that isn’t against some kind of human rights treaty...”

“I know you’re joking around, but I’m serious,” Lexy tells him with a far more composed look on her face. “And I know my dad was an asshole, I know your dad was as well, and I’m happy we left, I’m happy we just told them both to fuck themselves and we left their stupid war and we’re here and we’re together, and I wouldn’t change any of it for anything, but don’t you sometimes just think that maybe they did it all for a reason?”

“What reason?” Nate asks defiantly. “I can’t think of a single reason.”

“To provide for you, Mr Private School?” Lexy points out. “I mean, not just that, but to provide for your life, your family’s life, the house you guys had. My dad was the same; he had two sons and a daughter to take care of, plus everything else. And we both know from experience that it’s not EASY to make money in this sport. I mean, look at us. We’re struggling every day. If you open up the fridge right now you’ll find one egg, a carton of milk and a slice of pizza from three days ago. We can’t even afford FOOD babes, and yet growing up your dad and my dad, they provided everything for us. So maybe they had to make the tough decisions...”

Nate puts the camera down and walks over to her, putting his hands on her shoulders. “I thought I was the one who had the dodgy moral code and you were the solid core of this relationship,” he says, all the humour and fun from earlier now melted away. “Don’t tell me you’re slipping.”

“I’m not slipping, I just...” she begins before letting out a sigh. “It’s hard, you know? We just have enough money to pay our rent, and when we give that money over we’re back to being broke again. We’ve had to sell so much of your stuff just to get this far. And between the job interview you won’t tell me about and the fact that I’ve been working so much the last few weeks we’ve gotten no time together, we’ve not filmed anything for the Chapel Show, we’re... I mean, it’s really hard.”

“Yeah, it is,” he tells her before kissing her on the forehead. “If it was easy, everyone would do it. And I know that sounds like I read it off a t-shirt – I did, just for full disclosure right here – but it’s true. And you know the thing about us babe? The thing that makes us different to my dad or your dad or anyone else in the wrestling business who’s sold their soul for a payday? We’re not going to be like them. We’re not going to reduce ourselves to their level. Because we’re NOT like them. No, wait, more accurately YOU’RE not like them! I’d still be tempted by the payday but you wouldn’t. I know you too well. There is no price on your soul babe, and that’s why I love you.”

“I already gave you my soul,” Lexy says sweetly.

“I know, and just like the Superman figure it’s priceless and I’m keeping it forever,” Nate tells her with a sly grin again. “And I know it’s hard, but we’re going to get through this, and we’ll be better because of it. And then in a few years we’re going to look back at these early shows and we’ll be laughing about how cheap everything was. Well, except the Google Glasses, those are DAMN expensive!”

“Yeah, we should have thought that through more,” Lexy tells him with a smile. She kisses him happily. “I love you, you know that right? I mean you’re a complete goof, but I love you.”

“You’d better,” Nate says playfully before slapping her ass and causing her to let out a little shriek in surprise. “Now get in the kitchen and make me breakfast, bitch!”

“You’ll be lucky,” she says with a laugh. “You can have a breakfast of ‘egg’ if you like.”

“Mmm, egg and milk, breakfast of champions,” Nate says happily. We see from the camera angle of the camera still filming as he walks in to the kitchen and opens the fridge, but from this angle we can’t see inside the fridge. He reaches in and pulls out the milk before smelling it. “Hmm, is this off? Nah, looks ok.”

“I’m pretty sure it is off,” Lexy tells him nervously. “I didn’t have any yesterday when I thought it was off...”

“Nah, it’ll be fine,” he says, opening the carton further and taking a mouthful before stopping and carefully spitting it back in to the carton. Lexy turns to look at him and he smiles innocently at her. “Yeah, see... fine.”

“It’s off, isn’t it?” she asks with a smile.

“No, its fine,” he says, shaking his head. “On a completely unrelated note, I need to go hurl. That’s not to do with the milk though; it may be morning sickness...”

He runs off and in the far background, despite Lexy’s laughter, we can hear the sound of him throwing up. “Morning sickness?” she says, still laughing. “You’re going with morning sickness rather than admitting I’m right? Really?!”

“You’re not right,” we hear him call out. “Oh god, I feel fucking horrible. Bitch, you knocked me up!”

Lexy continues laughing. “Oh, I should have worn a condom,” she says playfully. “It just ‘doesn’t feel natural’ though.”

“Oh god, this is what women go through? WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS?!” we hear Nate ask before throwing up again as Lexy continues laughing at her husband’s misfortune.

We cut from the Chapel lounge back to the kitchen again where Lexy is still half-dressed in just a t-shirt and underwear, but now has in her lap the EXODUS Pro International Championship that she admires happily, running her fingers along it. “Oh god, I love this belt so much,” she says to the camera before looking up. “So, welcome back. Like I said though, we’re not rich, we’re not living in luxury, but we’re still finding ways to have fun and we’re staying true to ourselves, and to us that’s hugely important. Life isn’t about the destination, it’s about the journey, and I like to think that that above all else is what the Chapel Show is all about right now. It’s also what I like to think my career has been about. I mean we all know my story, right? I started out a complete unknown in the United States, just a handful of American wrestling fans ever having heard of my father or Nate’s father, and we started out as foreign strangers in a new land, but you guys embraced us. You took us in to the EXODUS Pro world and you made us feel welcome, and we tried our hand at being a tag team. We had dreams. We wanted to become EXODUS Pro Tag Team Champions. But it wasn’t to be – not yet, anyway. Our plans got put back. Nate got hurt. The Chapel Show, in terms of a tag team, got put on hiatus, and I could have sunk in to some whirlwind of depression, I could have just given up, I could have said that I had my dream stolen from me and blamed the entire world for what happened but I didn’t. I kept going. I kept fighting. I went out there instead and I proved myself against all the odds and yeah, I was supposed to fight for the San Diego Bay Championship. One day. One day I’ll get my shot at that title. But instead I got what many considered an ‘upgrade’ after my match with Jerry Matthews, and which for me was a second detour, and it led to this...”

She takes the International Championship out of her waist and holds it up to the camera. “When I started out I literally never could have DREAMT that I would be in this position right now. My dreams aren’t so crazy as to think that I would ever get a shot at this title in my first YEAR in the company, let alone in my first few months, but I didn’t just got the opportunity, I seized it and I won and I’ve been living in a fantasy world ever since. And with the belt has come opportunities, and responsibilities. Last week my match with Mr EXODUS himself, for example, was a massive opportunity and it didn’t go the way I wanted but yet again I didn’t fall in to a downward spiral. You see the world may throw twists and turns my way, the world may keep hitting me with the unexpected, but both my parents were wrestlers and I learned to roll with the punches before I could even walk,” she says with a confident smile before taking the title belt and unclipping the back and putting it over her shoulder happily. “Every time the world has tried to knock me down I’ve rolled with the punch and used it to my advantage. This week the world has given me a very different kind of experience, a very different opportunity, and I know damn well there’s going to be a few punches to roll with in this but I also know that this opportunity once again represents a dream that I never thought I’d attain. Hell, it represents TWO dreams! The first of those is my partner, Jonathan Collins, a man I’ve admired since I was a little girl, a man who I used to have posters of on my walls, a man who I used to dream about marrying one day. Oh yeah, I had a MAJOR crush on Jonathan, I don’t deny that. But as I grew up and I realised I was never going to marry him, I never stopped respecting the hell out of everything he’d done.”

She smiles and looks at the International Championship. “He’s the reason I’m International Champion,” she says proudly. “I don’t mean that he helped me physically win this belt, he didn’t. He trained me more than a few times, he’s showed me how to improve my game, he’s helped me work out new ways to compete, new moves, and he’s made me better at hitting what I already knew. He’s helped me in all those ways, sure. But he’s also been a role model for me. I remember him as International Champion when I was younger. I remember the incredible moments and everything he did for titles like this. He wasn’t one of those guys who said that it was worthless because it wasn’t the World title, he took belts like this one and he made them mean MORE than World titles. He showed me what International Champions should be, and so I’m champion today hoping to follow in his footsteps, hoping to do just a FRACTION of everything he’s done. If I can be even SLIGHTLY as good a champion as he was then I’ll have accomplished more than I could have imagined. So this week, teaming with Jonathan Collins, dream number one accomplished. But what other dream of mine does this week fulfil? Simple, this week I’m going up against the EXODUS Pro Tag Team Champions. I’m going up against the BEST TAG TEAM IN THE WORLD! And I say that as one half of another tag team who wanted those belts. I say that as a wrestler. Most importantly, I say that as a wrestling fan! Because I don’t need to lie or exaggerate to give this match everything it needs, this week it is Jonathan Collins and Lexy Chapel, a random mix of one of the best ever and his fan girl, against the best Tag Team on the planet, Steve Lenton and Wulf Erikssen. This week it’s my chance to compete against the very, very best that tag team wrestling has to offer, and to find out how good I am!”

“You see, that’s what people tend to forget. I don’t. I listen to what other people say. I’m not just a wrestler, I’m a wrestling fan. And I hear so many people talking smack about their opponents, talking about how easily they’ll win, talking about how dominant they’ll be. Every week we seem to get a variation on that message from Gods & Monsters or Christum Furor, who want to usher in a new age. Well I ask, what’s wrong with the current age? Maybe the current age isn’t ready to roll over and die just yet! I know damn sure that I’m not ready to,” she says confidently and proudly. “But while so many wrestlers stand here and TELL you how good they are and expect you just to believe every word of it, I’m not like them. That’s why I get excited over moments like this, because I get to step in to the ring and SHOW you how good I am! My first ever time teaming with an idol and it’s against the Tag Team Champions; I mean could this get any better? Could this match be any bigger? I’m not sure it could. This week is my chance to really test myself in another environment, on another level. This week is my chance to go all out, to bust my ass and to find out what kind of tag team competitor I can be, but I know already that it won’t be easy. I mean I’m the fan girl of Jonathan Collins, but I’m not exactly experienced as a tag team wrestler. I’m definitely not experienced as his tag team partner, and matches against the Tag Team Champions are the kind when you need precision and teamwork more than anything else. Do Jon and me have that? Hell, do Jon and me even have the ability to get along as a team? We’ve never worked together. You’ve seen me when I’m around him, right? I’m tongue-tied and nervous. There’s a legitimate question to be asked if I can even COMPETE in this match or just stand there admiring him.”

She laughs and nods her head slowly. “Don’t worry, I can compete. I was perhaps exaggerating that just a little. But the rest of those questions are legitimate. Jon and me aren’t a team in any real sense, and we don’t work together that often, or even really know each other. Tag Team Wrestling is all about chemistry. It’s about fluidity. It’s about knowing your partner inside and out, knowing what they’re going to do even before they do it, before even THEY know they’re going to do it, so that you can anticipate every second. It’s about trusting your partner absolutely that when you turn your back on your opponent you know that they’re going to have your back and they’re going to defend you when you need it. It’s also about knowing without doubt that they’re going to be there every step of the day for you, so no matter how beaten up you feel you know when you reach out to make the tag they’re going to come in,” she says before letting out a long sigh. “It’s about trust. A lot of teams don’t have that. Almost every set of Tag Team Champions do. So, where does that leave Jon and me? Simple – I trust Jonathan Collins with my life. Maybe I don’t know him that well, that’s certainly been pointed out to me in the past. Maybe I don’t know everything he’ll do. Maybe I don’t know everything he’ll think. But I do trust him regardless. I trust in everything he’s about. I trust in everything he stands for. And most importantly, I trust that he has my best interests at heart. That’s why he asked me to be his partner for this, right? He could have picked ANYONE! I mean, who WOULDN’T want to team with him? But he didn’t pick just anyone, he picked me, and Wulf and Steve, you guys may look at us and see the inexperience, see every advantage you can take, but when we get in that ring I promise you that I’m going to give you every single thing I have!”

“I’m going to need to as well, aren’t I?” she asks before nodding her head slowly. “Oh yeah, you guys aren’t Tag Team Champions for nothing, and you’ve held those belts a good few months now. They say the test against DESTROY ALL HUMANS was the biggest one you’ve had so far. I like to think that maybe this week you’re going to get another test entirely. We’re not a tag team. We’re not contenders. We’re not coming for those titles, Jonathan has his own. Hell, I’d love to think that maybe one day I COULD hold those belts alongside someone like Jonathan, but I’m not willing to bet it could ever happen. I’m especially not willing to bet that you guys could ever lose to a team like us. But what if? I mean, what if you view this the same way I do. What if you’re looking at us seeing the same inexperience I’m talking about? And what if, for just half a second, you take us for granted? Wulf, the ‘Bar Room Hero’, the champion of the people, I’ll be honest with you you’re everything I wish I could be. You’re strong, you’re proud, you’re tough as they come and when you hit the Bar Room Bomb on a normal competitor it’s done, but if you hit it on someone like me you’ll break me in two. I know I’m not the biggest dog in the fight; you don’t have to tell me that. There is something you should know though Wulf, something that makes us similar in a way. I’m not the biggest dog in the fight, but there’s more fight inside this bitch than anyone has been able to deal with so far! I’ve watched you. I’ve admired you. I’ve seen you rise. At EXPRO on FX #15 though, I want to see you fall, in a nice way. I want to beat you. I want to prove myself against you. I want to prove how good I can be, and to me Wulf that makes this such an opportunity, and one I don’t want to let slip away from me!”

“And then there’s your partner, in a lot of ways similar to you, in so many so very different. He’s The Big L, athletic as they come, strong as they come to, big, powerful and much like you Wulf, completely outweighing me and out sizing me in every single way but one. Because like I said, I’ve watched you guys. I’ve admired you guys. I’ve seen you stand up against the baddest baddies on the planet. I’ve witnessed the Bar Room Hero and the Sun Tan Superman tear it up all over the world and prove you’re two of the best ever, but as much fight as you’ve got in you, I’ve got more. You’ve got dreams, so have I. You’ve got goals you want to accomplish, things to aim for in this company, and so have I. And when those people get behind you, you feel invincible, don’t you? Well when those people get behind me I’ve proven that impossible things can happen, because when they cheer me loudly enough I’ve genuinely felt like I could fly,” she says, nodding her head proudly. “I’ve got Goosebumps all over my body when I think about this match guys. I’ve got Goosebumps all over my body when I think about this opportunity. This may have come about because Jonathan wants to get in some tag team wrestling experience against two of the best who’ve EVER called themselves a tag team but I don’t just intend for this to be a showcase event, I intend for this to be another night that Lexy Chapel pushes her status in this company even higher. The Bar Room Hero and the SUN TAN SUPERMAN, and I’m sorry guys but this week I want this win, I want to prove to Jonathan that he picked the right partner, and that means this week I just have to find a way of becoming your kryptonite and pushing myself beyond anything else to get this win.”

She smiles at the camera, holding out her arm toward it. “Seriously, I’m not kidding about the Goosebumps, I am so psyched for this match its ridiculous,” she says happily before pulling back her arm. “Right, talking’s over. Business starts soon. And speaking of business, if you guys like what you’ve seen in this video and you want to see the Chapel Show go for a thousand episodes, there’s only one way to make that happen and that’s clickity click on the subscribe! While you’re doing that, leave us a comment, our Twitters are in the description so follow us there, and most of all guys just enjoy yourselves. This isn’t high budget entertainment, we know that, but what we lack in money we more than make up for in heart. And with that said, I’ve been Lexy Chapel and this has been The Chapel Show. Until next time, fuckers!”

She pretends to fire off shots at the camera with her fingers before looking at her own hands like they acted on their own and she had nothing to do with it. She looks up at the camera again and shrugs as the video fades and the Chapel Show logo comes up on the screen. After a few seconds the replay button flashes up and the video finally ends.