Episode: S01E11
Date: 24/05/2014

The video begins and we see the Chapel Show logo on the screen. The logo slowly fades away and we cut to the inside of the Chapel apartment in Las Vegas, Nevada. We see the apartment mostly packed away, and boxes stacked in the lounge as well as most of the normal furniture we’re used to seeing having disappeared. The boxes aren’t stacked at the sides of the room as you’d expect but instead seem to be stacked away from the wall, almost as though someone has tried to build a fort out of them. In the middle of the picture however, sat on the couch with her legs crossed and dressed in hot pants and a t-shirt that reads ‘SAVE A LOLLIPOP, SUCK A DICK’ sits Lexy Chapel, with the EXODUS Pro International Championship resting alongside her. She looks down at the shirt and rolls her eyes before looking up at the camera. “What’s up fuckers? I’m Lexy Chapel, and just like milk I’ll do all kinds of good things to your body,” she says before winking at the camera; however she’s unable to stop herself from laughing. “Welcome to the Chapel Show, and this week is an important week. This week is very much make or break for me, this week is the week that I either step up to the challenge of facing off against one of the greatest men in the history of this sport – although in fairness I am a LITTLE bit biased considering when I was little I had my first dirty dream about him – or I fail to step up to the challenge and I crumble under the pressure. And I’ll be honest with you all right now, it’s a scary position to be in, especially when it’s a position I desperately don’t WANT to be in. I mean, it’s not like I asked for any of this! Then again, I guess I really didn’t expect any of THIS either...”

She holds out her arms, as though she’s not referring to the match but she’s referring to everything around her, perhaps even her entire life. “See, when we started out down this road – Nate and me – and when we dreamt up the idea of the Chapel Show we didn’t really think it would work. We’ve both been around professional wrestling our entire lives; we’ve both seen pretty much everything there is to see with it from watching our families and somehow getting involved in their drama. I guess because of that there was a big part of both of us that thought that the dream we wanted to start, that thought that the dream we both shared to make it in America, to really establish the Chapel name in a POSITIVE light and show that the current generation of the Chapel and Adams families didn’t need to be still consumed with hatred that started more than thirty years ago, was just that. I guess deep down inside we both really thought that it was just a dream, and as we all know dreams never come true, do they?” she asks before looking over her shoulder toward the bedroom, presumably where Nate is as she’s filming this, and then at the EXODUS Pro International Championship beside her and finally back up at the camera again. “I guess I’ve always been a ‘glass half empty’ kinda girl, and do you want to know something crazy? Even though everything has gone so incredibly, even though our lives have changed in amazing ways that I don’t think either one of us could possibly have predicted, even though we’re on the verge of moving out to California to a whole life we couldn’t have even IMAGINED when we first came to the States, I still go to bed every night wondering if that’s going to be the last night that this thing remains a dream before it somehow twists itself in to a nightmare.”

“When I was a little girl my parents were actually worried about that. See, in these videos I don’t really discuss the old me, the one who used to live by her dad’s rules, the one who was afraid to put a foot out of line, the one that would rather run away to a whole new country with no money and work two jobs to pay her rent than to confront the people in her life over the fact that she was in love with someone they absolutely told her that she shouldn’t be. I don’t really talk much about the old me because the old me never really had much to get excited about in her life, other than professional wrestling. The old me used to sit in her room because she was too afraid to go out anywhere in case something happened. The old me wouldn’t ever take a risk at anything because she didn’t want to risk that she’d put everything she had on the line only for it to blow up in her face. The old me was... well, she wasn’t exactly someone you’d really like. And she’d NEVER have had the guts to do something like make her own web show! The thing was when I was younger not a whole lot went write for me, and when it did it normally went spectacularly wrong really soon thereafter. So when things did go write for me, I’d just naturally assume that pretty soon they were going to go wrong. When I got something I wanted I was absolutely sure it would get stolen or broken, and I wouldn’t even attempt to accomplish the things I wanted to accomplish because I was sure I’d fail at them,” she confesses softly, looking away from the camera as she does before letting out a sigh. “I know a lot of people out there are the ‘glass half full’ kind but I was the worst, and my parents genuinely thought there was something wrong with me. Maybe there was as well, I don’t know. Maybe there was, god knows what the doctors they made me talk too used to think.”

She takes another deep breath before letting it out again slowly. “As I got older I got a little more confidence, I learned that sometimes good things DO happen, but sometimes I still have that sinking feeling like it’s all going to go wrong. As I got older though, do you want to know one of the things that REALLY inspired that change in me, and part of why this week is that difficult for me?” she asks before nodding her head slowly. “Yeah, it was him. Watching him, watching him overcome, watching him defy the odds, watching him prove that good guys DID win and that bad things didn’t HAVE to happen, was part of what changed my life. You guys know that I admired him. You know that I was a huge fan of his; you know that I used to sneak down in the middle of the night UK time to watch his matches. You know that about me but he was so much more than that to the young me. Honestly, Jonathan Collins was my hero. Watching him taught me to believe. I always supported him, no matter what, and I never wanted him to fail. When all my friends would be cheering on the scary English guy facing him just because he was English, I’d be backing Jonathan Collins every second. He was more than just a wrestler to me, more than just a guy I watched on TV, more than... I mean, I don’t even have words for it. I really don’t. I don’t know if you guys have anyone like that in your life, anyone who just inspired everything you did in your life, anyone who just taught you what it meant to be... just... I don’t know if you have anyone who means that much to you, but if you did, if you had that person, just imagine what it would do to you if they then told you that they were coming after you, that they were going to fight you and that there was nothing you could do to stop them but fight them back.”

She looks anywhere but the camera for a few moments, trying to recompose herself and failing. She shakes her head slowly before picking up the International title and looking at it long and hard. “This title is more than just an accomplishment to me, its proof that good things can happen, and I have it because of one man, one man who’s now coming to take it back, one man who’s now coming to take everything away from me, including him. So if you guys want to know why I didn’t think he was serious, why I’ve struggled to accept this, why I’ve been so quite... I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to fight my idol. I don’t want to have to do battle with my hero. But this week I have no choice. This week it’s either I fight him or I give up on my dream... and I don’t want to give up on my dream either, not anymore! It’s ironic that it’s Jonathan who’s inspired me to fight for my dreams as well, isn’t it? So, what am I going to do?” she asks before looking away from the International title and up at the camera, wiping a tear from her eye in the process. “Well, I’ve been struggling with that one this week, but when I’m struggling with most things I’m kind of lucky because I have a crazy idiot of a husband who I love more than life itself to come to my rescue. And just like he always does, Nate came through for me this week. He came through for me in a big way with an amazing distraction that did TOTALLY take my mind off of everything that was going on... by whisking me away on what he promised me was going to be the greatest break of our lives. He was wrong about that, I wouldn’t exactly call it the greatest break of my life... but it was certainly a unique adventure, I’ll give him that. What did he have in store? Keep watching and find out, and enjoy the show guys...”

The Chapel Show

We see video of a man sitting in traffic. He slams his hands on the wheel in annoyance. Then, we hear the sound of Nate Chapel’s voice talking over this scene.

“Is your life frustrating?”

We see a man walking down a street carrying a briefcase while dressed in a suit, but he’s walking slowly and seems depressed about wherever it is he’s going.

“Are you tired of the same old routine?”

We see a woman sitting alone in a kitchen. There’s food all over the counter and dirty plates piled high in the sink behind her, but she’s got her head in her hands as though it’s all too much for her to deal with.

“Then don’t worry, we’ve got the solution!”

We see the first man again, no longer sitting in his car but now happily smiling, sitting on the side of a hill with a beer in his hand. He holds the beer up to the camera like he’s toasting, and as the shot pans out we can see the other two people from the other scenes as well, both toasting the camera with their own alcoholic beverage of choice. There’s only one thing they all have in common – they’re all wearing the same t-shirt.

“If you’re ever feeling depressed or like the world is just too much for you, here at The Chapel Show we have the solution! The Chapel Show is proud to present our new clothing line, guaranteed to perk up your day no matter how depressing it gets. And if we sell out, Lexy will show you her boobs! BUY NOW!”


We see a final shot of Nate holding one of the t-shirts and smiling at the camera before a different, deeper voice speaks incredibly quickly.

“Purchasing the Chapel Show t-shirts is no guarantee of improving your life. Any improvement that does come in to your life as a result of wearing this t-shirt is entirely coincidental. Lexy Chapel does not guarantee nudity in exchange for purchases.”

The Chapel Show

We return from the brief commercial to find Nate Chapel standing in front of an old, beaten up looking car with an Arsenal bumper sticker, implying that the car he’s standing in front of belongs to the Chapels. He’s rubbing his hands together excitedly. In the back of the car we can see through the windows and there seems to be a giant sheet covering up everything. “So,” we hear Lexy’s voice asking from behind the camera, “it’s 7am, we’re packed and we’re ready to go, but you’ve STILL not told me where we’re going, or why you were swearing so much last night trying to move a bunch of stuff you wouldn’t let me see when you bought it and still won’t let me see now. Are you EVER planning on telling me?”

“Well, I did want it to be a surprise,” Nate says with a smile. “But, since we’re so close now, I gueNathan Chapelss it can’t hurt to ruin the surprise a little. You remember how last week we talked about different options for the new apartment, and we talked about the most epic adventure that two people can have together...”

“Oh god, I’m not sure I like where this is going,” Lexy mutters nervously.

“Well, you’re under a lot of pressure right now and I think that you need to relax, so I looked at so many options for you. I wanted to take you on holiday to an exotic island somewhere that you could put your feet up, sip cold alcoholic drinks and forget all your problems,” he says with a loving smile, “but... well... have you seen how much vacations like that cost?”

“I could put my feet up at home and you could just get me drinks from the fridge,” Lexy suggests hopefully.

“Nah, it wouldn’t be the same,” Nate proclaims, shaking his head slowly.

“But, it would be nice,” Lexy says again, more in hope than expectation. “I mean, I could just relax on the couch, and if you REALLY wanted to give me a good time then you could even let me control the remote and we could watch the things that I want to watch.”

“Pssh, everyone knows the remote should be controlled by the man,” Nate says, waving his hand like she’s said something completely ridiculous. “No, I knew if you were at home you’d never be able to relax and I want you to be able to relax baby, I want you to have a really great time and just de-stress and not think about that complete double-standard-having-cockbag. Seriously, I know you’re watching this Jon and I want you to know that if you hurt her I’m coming for you...”

“That’s nice babes, and I appreciate it, but... I’m not sure that it’s helping me de-stress,” Lexy points out with a sigh.

“Right, right, sorry. Where was I? Oh right, yeah, the big reveal,” Nate says excitedly. “So, I knew if you stayed home you’d never relax, so instead of staying home I’ve booked us a vacation. You ready for this babe, because it’s going to BLOW YOUR MIND!”

“It’s camping, isn’t it?” she says with a sigh.

“You’re NEVER going to see this coming,” Nate tells her excitedly, opening the trunk of the car and pulling off the sheet before spinning back to the camera excitedly. “I’M TAKING YOU CAMPING!!”

“Oh. I did not see that coming,” Lexy says immensely sarcastically.

“I know, I knew you’d never guess,” Nate says proudly, nodding his head.

“Well that’s really sweet of you babes, but how about we don’t and we say we did?” Lexy asks hopefully, once again more in hope than in expectation.

“No can dosville, babydoll,” Nate says with a shake of his head. “See, I’ve already pitched the idea of the show this week and I found a guy who’s going to promote the video for us this week. We’re calling it THE CHAPEL SHOW: ADVENTURE IN THE WILD. If it goes well we can make a sequel. Oh my god, we could do the sequel in 3D! AND WE COULD GET A DIRECTOR! And you know what else? If it goes really well we could—”

He keeps talking in the background as Lexy turns the camera around to point it at herself. “Oh god, I think this is happening. This could be a long few days...”

The Chapel Show

We cut from the scene that was most likely in the car park where the couple park their car to somewhere on the road. The day is much brighter as the clip begins and the sound of the wind rushing through the open windows of the car can be heard. We see the ‘exciting’ sights on the side of the highway rushing past as Lexy, who’s clearly behind the camera, spins the camera back around again to point at Nate. “Are we there yet?”

“Are we really doing this?” Nate asks with a sigh. “That’s the fourth time you’ve asked.”

“Well, last time you said ‘nearly’. So... I’m beginning to suspect you’re taking me camping on the edge of the freeway,” she says, letting out an unexcited sigh. “So, I’ll ask again. Are we there yet?”

“Not yet,” Nate says with a sigh of his own. “But you know, there are things we could do to make the drive more exciting.”

“You want to play a car game?” Lexy asks with a laugh. “Wow, I don’t think I’ve done that since I was little. Ok, so what kind of game do you want to play? We could play punch buggy!”

“That’d be dangerous to punch a man while he’s driving, don’t you think?” Nate asks with a shake of his head. “Actually I was thinking we could invent our own game. A Chapel Show original game for everyone to play when they’re on the road, travelling to see your matches. If it takes off who knows what it could lead to.”

“Ok, I could go for that,” Lexy says, a little excitement creeping in to her voice. “So, what kind of game are we talking here? It obviously has to have something to do with driving, maybe something to do with the colours of cars? That could be fun!”

“Yeah, ok, colours of cars,” he replies with a nod. “Let’s go with that idea. So, what could we do whenever we see a certain colour of car? Hmm, that’s a tough one.”

She turns the camera around to point at herself. “I hate when he does this,” she tells the camera with a shake of her head. “See, he already knows exactly what it’s going to be, and it’ll probably be something incredibly embarrassing for me, something that he knows I’d never want to do in a million years, but then he’ll make me feel guilty and try to guilt me in to it, and normally I end up saying yes because... well... could you say no to that face?”

She turns the camera around and zooms in on his face. He winks at the camera for a moment before turning back to the road. “I am very loveable.”

She turns the camera back on herself. “I mean, I’m not even sure I WANTED to marry him, but he’s so damn cute that I think he’s somehow tricked me in to it,” she says, jokingly. “So, I’m going to suggest something that I think is a good idea, and he’ll do this thing where he pretends he agrees, but then comes up with an amazing suggestion that he’s just thought of this instant and hasn’t been planning the entire time at all, even though when we get back home I’ll probably find the idea written down on his idea pad, along with the way he’s going to trick me in to it.”

“ALEXANDRA CHAPEL,” Nate says in a mock disgusted tone. “Do you REALLY think I would stoop to such levels? Do you REALLY think I could be so devious? Why, I don’t think you know me at all.”

“Ok, so... if I suggest something you’ve not already got an idea of your own?” she asks, knowingly.

“Nope, I’ve got nothing,” he says with a shake of his head. “Go ahead, what’s your suggestion?”

“Well, I’m thinking that if it has to do with cars, maybe we could make a game where we have to build a set,” she explains. “We could maybe draw cards or something, like five cards each, and those cards have the type of car and maybe the colour, and the first one to complete their set wins. How’s that sound?”

“Babe, that is an AMAZING idea,” Nate says before pausing. “But... I have JUST thought of another one. Hear me out here...”

“Oh god, here we go,” she mutters softly.

“That idea sounds INCREDIBLE but I can’t really play because, you know, I’m driving and I take driving VERY seriously,” he says in a serious tone.

“Twenty minutes ago you asked me to hold the wheel while you peed in a bottle, and then dared me to take a sip,” Lexy reminds him.

“Pssh, I would NOT do that,” Nate says before smiling a little, “I mean, not AGAIN anyway. Besides, that was responsible! I could have just held the wheel with my feet.”

“Like you did half an hour ago?” she asks with a sigh.

“...anyway,” Nate begins, completely dismissing the conversation. “As great as your idea is, I just have a LITTLE alteration. Like, maybe we adult it up a bit and, ok bear with me here, this is something I’m thinking up completely on the fly, what if we do our own version of Punch Buggy called STRIP Buggy, and every time I see a buggy you have to take off an item of clothing!”

“You want me to strip, in the car?” she asks with a sigh.

“I mean, sure... I’m only driving us all this way, and doing it completely spontaneously because I love you and I’m trying to help you de-stress, you know, without having anything in it for me, but whatever, if you don’t want to do this little thing for me...”

Lexy turns the camera around on herself and sighs. “See what I mean?”

The Chapel Show

We cut from the highway to a wooded area. Nate is carrying the camera now and filming the woods around him and whistling happily. “So, guys, we’re here and it’s looking good,” he says before moving the camera over toward the car where we see Lexy is getting dressed and is pulling her top back on again. “By the way, first ever time we’ve played Strip Buggy and it was AMAZING. Totally recommend it for couples. It’s a game where you can just feel good about yourself.”

Lexy looks over at the camera with a worried look. “Babes, what happened to my other shoe?”

“You threw it at me when I suggested your punishment for running out of clothes should be other... sexy things that I probably shouldn’t mention because kids might be watching this video,” he says before turning the camera on himself and making a blow-job motion with his free hand and nodding at the camera and then spinning it back to point at Lexy again. “I think it landed in the back.”

She opens the back door and looks in before reaching in and holding her shoe in the air. “Ok, got it!”

Nate continues filming Lexy getting dressed as he continues his narration. “So anyway, I think we’re off to a good start. She totally never expected me to take her camping, even when she was right there next to the car, so it was a surprise, but I think she’s excited.”

We cut to another clip of Lexy holding the camera, obviously filmed after this one. “I knew he’d do this to me, and I do NOT want to be here!”

We cut back to Nate again. “I think she’s really going to enjoy the wild and the adventure.”

We cut to Lexy again. “I swear I’m not enjoying this at all.”

We cut to Nate again. “But I think most of all it’s going to bring us closer as a couple, really help us bond and definitely cement our marriage for years to come.”

And back to Lexy. “When we get back to the civilised world, I may have to find a divorce lawyer.”

The Chapel Show

We cut from their arrival to a shot of the little camp all set up. The tent is set up but doesn’t look quite right, as though the cover has been forced on properly and doesn’t quite fit over the frame like it should. In front of that however we see a lighter that looks like it’s been thrown on the floor and stamped on, and we see Nate kneeling behind a pile of wood rubbing a stick against another stick, obviously trying to start a fire.

“So, it’s night one of our ‘epic adventure’,” Lexy says from behind the camera, “and so far we have a lighter that doesn’t work, and Nate has been trying to start a fire for the last twenty minutes. But I’m fine with that, I mean the point is he’s trying... what I don’t get is why he won’t let me phone and order takeout and why he insists we need to start a fire to cook our food.”

“Because it’s camping babe, and you don’t order takeout while you’re camping,” Nate tells her with a shake of his head while not looking up from his attempt to start a fire. “You just wait, any second now this is going to burst in to flames and we’re going to be having amazing camp fire food and you’re going to have the time of your life.”

“Oh, right, amazing camp fire food,” Lexy says mockingly before pointing the camera down by her side, where we see a pot apparently to put over the fire along with tins of baked beans and some frankfurters. “Apparently, this is camp fire food.”

“You’ll love it when we start eating,” he reassures her. “There’s something about cooking it over a fire, especially a fire your manly husband built with his own two hands – his MANLY hands – that just makes it taste amazing. And I also brought marshmallows and we can make s’mores. You love s’mores!”

She turns the camera on herself and nods a little guiltily. “Ok, I do love s’mores.”

She turns the camera back on Nate again. “And c’mon, you know you’re having fun so far. I mean, you couldn’t stop laughing at me putting up the tent.”

“That’s only because of how much you were swearing at it,” she says with a laugh. “I tried to film it earlier but between the swearing and me laughing I swear it would just have been the worst clip we’ve ever filmed, ever. Still, I guess we’ve got time for a little...”

We cut to Nate standing up and hurling a metal bar to the ground before stomping on it angrily. “MOTHER FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT, YOU’RE MEANT TO FIT IN THE C SOCKET! THE INSTRUCTIONS SAY FUCKING C SOCKET!! WHY DON’T YOU FIT IN THE GODDAMN C SOCKET?!”

We hear Lexy laughing hysterically behind the camera before we cut back again. “And now here we are, and it’s now been... twenty two minutes since he started trying to make the fire.”

“You should come over here and stand closer, it might help start the fire because your criticism BURNS ME,” Nate says, putting a hand to his chest like he’s been wounded. We hear Lexy laughing a little before Nate grins at her. We then see the clip sped up as Nate continues to try to start the fire. We see him rubbing the sticks together, looking like he’s talking to them for a few seconds, then looking like he’s yelling at them, and finally we see the fire starting and Nate leaping up and throwing his hands in the air. “YES!! FUCKING YES!! BEAR GRYLLS EAT YOUR HEART OUT!! What do you say babe?”

We hear Lexy laughing. “Yeah babes, definitely impressed. You’re such a man.”

“Oh, I’m not just A man, I’m THE man,” he says confidently. “Ok, now after I get this fire started properly and I can guarantee it won’t go out I’m so taking you in the tent and having my manly way with you before dinner!”

The Chapel Show

We cut to a very short clip of Lexy filming a small bowl with beans and cut up frankfurters in it. “Mm, beans,” she says jokingly before the clip ends again. The next one begins and it’s clearly the following morning. The fire is still burning in the middle of the camp and Lexy is filming Nate as he tends to it, putting more wood on the fire proudly. “So, its day two of our epic adventure now and I’ve got to admit that I may have been wrong. Ok, so camping isn’t glamorous at all, but despite everything we did have a lot of fun last night. We sat and we talked about our feelings, and I think we actually bonded more, and I love him now more than ever.”

“She’s managed to girlify camping,” Nate says, shaking his head as though he can’t believe it.

“Despite his objections, we both talked a lot last night, and the thing we discussed most was the future. And just for the record, despite Nate’s idea that we turn the Chapel Show in to a survival vlog and deal with the everyday problems of living in the wild, including his idea that I dress only in fig leaves in order to get more viewers, we’re not going to be doing this full time,” she says happily. “But it has been a kind of fun distraction. And I’m surprised as well; I’ve got to admit that I half expected we’d be eaten by a bear last night.”

“Pssh, like I’d let a bear hurt you,” Nate says protectively.

“Aw, you’d fight a bear for me?” Lexy asks, genuinely touched.

“Hell no, but you could just play dead while I run for help,” Nate says confidently. “They don’t you if you curl up into the foetal position. Or was that you make yourself big? God, you know what, I don’t remember...”

“Ok, so if a bear comes I’m going to die,” Lexy says softly.

“There won’t be any bears babe, don’t worry. I checked. There aren’t any bears here. You really think I’d take you somewhere that you could get eaten? I mean, I couldn’t lose you babe. Who would make my tea just the way I like it? I only just got you trained as a good wife,” he says before grinning at her.

“See, that’s love right there,” Lexy says before laughing again. “Ok, so, what’s on the agenda today?”

The Chapel Show

We cut to a clip of Lexy standing on top of a large rock formation, posing like the pictures of great explorers who have just discovered new lands. We then cut to a clip of Nate climbing a tree, and we watch as he almost falls from one of the higher branches as Lexy films the whole thing from below. We then cut again to a clip of Nate sitting at the side of a river with a fishing pole and we see Lexy turn the camera around on herself and yawn before laughing. Finally we see another clip of Lexy’s clothes on the floor and Nate holding the camera as he seems to be unbuttoning his pants. We hear Lexy screaming and Nate turns the camera around to see she’s swimming around in a small lake, clearly skinny dipping. “OH MY GOD IT’S COLD,” we hear her yell. “You BETTER be coming in...”

“I’m coming babe, don’t you worry,” he says excitedly before turning the camera back on himself and grinning. “God, I love camping!”

We cut from that short montage of clips to the inside of the tent. It’s dark and the only light in the tent for the camera is provided by a small lamp that’s lighting the tent enough that we can see Lexy laying in front of the camera, which seems to be not far off the ground as she’s clearly resting it on something while she’s filming. “Ok, so, end of day two and it’s been really fun today,” she says with a smile. “We went hiking, and Nate even tried his hand at fishing. He’s said that fishing is something he always wanted to do as a kid, which is a little weird but its good he got to experience it.”

“Fishing sucks,” Nate says, poking his head up from behind Lexy. “Seriously, anyone who’s watching this video and who’s subscribed, if you like fishing you can just unsubscribe right now because you are NOT welcome!”

“He tried, but he didn’t actually catch anything,” Lexy explains with a smile on her face before wiping the smile off as she sees Nate looking at her. “Which was so not his fault, because it was the fishing that was to blame, because it sucks?”

“Exactly, now you’re getting it,” Nate tells her happily. “Besides, that’s not actually true. I caught that boot, which I thought only happened in movies...”

“Oh, that’s true,” Lexy says with a nod. “He actually DID catch a boot. I wouldn’t have believed it if I wasn’t actually there and witnessing it for myself, but he really did catch a boot.”

“I threw it back though,” Nate explains to the camera. “I think it’s wrong to take boots from their natural environments...”

Lexy laughs and shakes her head. “So all in all we had a pretty good day. Plus I’m pretty sure Nate filmed some of me skinny dipping, so there was also that. I’m a little bit worried that I’ll have caught something from that water, so I’m hoping that my health insurance covers that,” she says with a laugh before elbowing Nate. “Oh god, stop that, I’m filming...”

“Stop what?” he asks innocently, “I’m not doing anything.”

“That thing you’re doing to my leg,” she says with another giggle. “Seriously stop it!”

“Babe, I’m not touching your leg,” he says in a completely serious tone. We see the look on Lexy’s face turn from playful delight to absolute terror. She looks down and screams before leaping out of the sleeping bag she’s in and rushing out of the tent, putting the camera down in a rush. It’s on its side but still filming the tent as she jumps around, brushing her legs and body with her arms and screaming still. “Babe, babe, its ok, it’s gone...”

“It’s still on me, oh god it’s still on me,” she screams, panicking as she almost dances around in a circle continuing to brush herself down. “Oh god, is it gone? Is it definitely gone? Where did it go?”

“It’s gone, I promise,” he tells her, trying to calm her down. “It’s ok; I think it’s still in the tent.”

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, it was right on me babes, it was RIGHT ON ME and you know how much I HATE spiders, especially BIG FUCKING SCARY ONES,” she almost screams before looking on the ground all around her. She’s only wearing a t-shirt and her underwear, while Nate is at least still wearing his jeans even if he’s not wearing a shirt. “Is it in the tent? Oh god, if it’s in the tent I’m not going back in there!”

“It’s ok, I’ll get it,” Nate reassures her before moving cautiously toward the tent. “I’ll, um... you want to just sleep out here tonight?”

“Nate,” she says in a very serious tone and he nods his head. She walks slowly over to the camera and you can see she’s looking all around it for a moment before picking it up to make sure the spider isn’t anywhere to be seen. She picks up the camera and starts zooming in on the tent as Nate approaches it cautiously. “You’re going to get it, right?”

“Yeah, err...” he says before looking back at her. “I’m not exactly a big fan of spiders. What should I do?”

“I don’t know, stand on it,” she says desperately and Nate points over in to the tent. Lexy zooms in on the tent to reveal his boots inside the tent. “Oh, fuck.”

We see Nate pick up a stick and slowly approach the tent again; moving the flap aside with the stick and then jumping back as something moves in the tent. “Fuck, it’s a spider not an alien,” he mutters softly before beginning to approach the tent again. He slowly moves the flap aside again and strikes at something but it moves quickly and Lexy can’t keep up with it with the camera as Nate darts back out of the tent again. “Fuck, that thing is fast! And HUGE!! God, since when did they make spiders so fucking huge? I swear it’s bigger than my hand!”

“Just... burn it,” she says, grabbing a stick off the fire and throwing it toward the tent.

“No, that’s...” Nate says before the stick lands near the tent and the tent catches fire, and then quickly is engulfed in flames. He looks over toward Lexy. “You knew the tent was flammable, right?”

“No?” she says, innocently. Nate lets out a sigh before rushing inside and grabbing a few things and then stepping out just as the top of the tent is engulfed in flame as well. Lexy shifts and the camera shifts with her. “Um... at least I killed the spider?”

“Yeah,” Nate says with a sigh. “If anyone asks, there were six of them and they were all a foot long.”

“And they had knives,” Lexy adds.

“Guns,” Nate corrects before grinning at her. “Guns makes us sound more like bad-asses for surviving it.”

She films the tent again before moving the camera up to film Nate. “I’m really sorry...”

“Don’t worry,” he says with a laugh. “At least it looks pretty cool as it burns...”

Nate puts his arm around her and Lexy turns the camera back on the tent again as the last little bit of it catches fire, as does the sleeping bag inside. They both stand there watching their tent burning before Lexy turns the camera back on herself. “So, where are we going to sleep now?”

We cut to the inside of a hotel room where there’s a huge cart full of room service and Lexy is jumping on the bed happily. Nate turns the camera around on himself and grins at it before rolling his eyes. “So... we went camping.”

The Chapel Show

We cut back to the Chapel apartment where we find Lexy Chapel still sitting on the couch and grinning at the camera. “So, we went camping...” she explains before grinning. “It was... different. And I learned a few things. First of all, you apparently don’t catch horrible illnesses every time you go skinny dipping, so that’s a good thing. Plus apparently tents are flammable! You’d think considering you use them right next to camp fires that they’d be fire proof or something, right? I mean what if a bit of wind whipped up a bit of wood on to one of the tents while someone was sleeping? You could be killed! And those things burn FAST as well! Did you see that thing? I mean, camping is DANGEROUS guys, I don’t recommend it. It was kinda fun though, and that hotel was AMAZING! We ended up staying there for a few days, and we got massages, which was cool. It did definitely distract me from all things EXODUS Pro though, and that was probably a good thing considering I’ve been kind of stressing out over a lot of it. I know I started this video talking about what I intend to end this video talking about, and that’s my match this week at Absent Are the Saints, but first I want to talk a little about last week because I didn’t address my match last week with Devilkiller and Ambrosia. It was a tough match, and I’m glad we had it. I learned a few things too, like how tough both of them are, especially Ambrosia. I get the feeling that it woLexy Chapeln’t be long before she’s challenging for titles, it won’t be long before she’s shaking things up and making an impact. It was an honour to face you guys, and I know you’re both going to give a hell of a fight next time out. I also know that this week they BOTH have a chance in the Crucible, they BOTH have a chance to do something truly special...”

“Having been in the ring with both of them, I get the feeling that they’re both going to make an impact in the Crucible in the best possible way. Then again this match is just stacked with talent, with some of the best wrestlers not just from EXODUS Pro but from all over the world, and it’s going to the kind of match that everyone wishes they could be a part of. I wish them both the best in there, and it wouldn’t shock me to see Ambrosia especially putting on a real show. Also on pay per view this weekend we’re going to see the Tag Team Titles on the line, we’re going to see a hardcore brawl between the woman who’s arguably the rightful San Diego Bay Champion and the current San Diego Bay Champion, we’re going to see Johnny Cannon do what Johnny Cannon does best and take on one of the most scary men in the world when he puts the World title on the line against Christum Furor, but while all of those are big, all of those are exciting, all of those are worth YOUR money, the only match I’m focused on at Absent Are the Saints is my match WITH a Saint, the ‘Saint of Violence’ Jonathan Collins, in a match I’m almost going to guarantee he won’t be absent from at all. Well, the saint part of him might be absent, all things considered,” she says before pausing and shifting awkwardly, looking down at the International title in her hands. “I spoke earlier about Jon, and the way I feel about him. I told you that he was my hero. I told you what I went through when I was a little girl. I told you that he was my inspiration to get through a lot of that, and that he changed my life. He didn’t actually do anything, he didn’t personally come and visit me and couch me through it, but I loved him anyway. I loved him and I’m thankful to him. And since I have got to know him, he’s done even more for me.”

“I remember when I was little people used to tell me that you should never meet your heroes, and people used to tell me especially that I should never meet Jon Collins. They told me that the idea of Jon, this person that I’d built up in my mind as a truly larger than life hero, was so big that there was no way that the real thing could ever actually match up to it. They told me that if I ever met him for real, if I ever got to know him, if I ever really became friends with him that he’d disappoint me, that that idea I had of him would shatter and when it did they were worried what else might shatter as well. I think they thought that I’d regress, that I’d go back to being that girl again, that I’d lock myself in my room and refuse to come out because the idea I had of him was so powerful that with it shattered all the progress I made would be shattered too. I told them they were wrong. I mean, sure I had this amazing idea of him in my head, but I didn’t depend on that idea to be the woman I’ve become,” she says confidently. “So when I did finally meet him I was... well, a spaz. I’m always a spaz around him. Remember that thing in his office? Oh god that was embarrassing! I just saw his jacket and... I don’t know, my inner fan girl took over and I just had to put it on. But here’s the thing about meeting Jon. When I met him my image of him didn’t shatter, my idea of Jon Collins wasn’t proven to be a complete work of fiction dreamed up by a little girl who honest to god had dreams where she married him. I know, I’m a doofus! But I did! I was the total Jon Collins fan, the ultimate mark for him, and yet when I met him that image didn’t shatter, it got STRONGER because as amazing as I imagined him to be, meeting the real guy, getting to KNOW the real guy, was EVEN MORE incredible than I could POSSIBLY have imagined!”

She just smiles and shakes her head a little. “I know that sounds insane, but it’s true. And he was nice to me on Twitter, he was nicer to me at the shows, he helped train me, he helped me figure out some stuff that I was doing wrong, he helped give me a fitness plan that got me in to better shape, and the support? Oh god, he’s been SO supportive! He practically FORCED me to take a new contract just so I could focus even more on wrestling and I didn’t have to work a second job, and who does that? Like, seriously, WHO DOES THAT?! That’s not what NORMAL people do, but then that’s totally fine because Jon ISN’T normal. He’s better than normal. He’s AMAZING! I thought there was nothing he could do that would ever make me see him as anything but that... and then last week happened,” she says before taking a deep breath and letting it out as a sigh as she looks down at the International Championship again. “Ok, so I don’t really know what I was thinking, but he wouldn’t answer my calls and I couldn’t find him in the back and... I went out to the ring and I had to see if he’d change his mind. I mean, how do I fight him? Really, HOW do I do it? How do you fight someone you could never hurt? How do you go in the ring to beat someone when you just want to bow down in front of them and thank them? How do you do that?! I wanted to know, I wanted... I wanted him to call it off. I honestly would have been ok if he told me I was facing EVERYONE in EXODUS Pro in a gauntlet match one after the other until one of them finally beat me because honestly I’d prefer that, I’d prefer to get my ass kicked by twenty people, rather than face Jon. And I wanted to tell him that I could never fight him... and all he did was say some hurtful things!”

“I know that’s not the real him though, ok? I know that. Because I know him. I love him! And I know I keep saying that, but you’ve got to realise I’m not declaring my undying love for him in that way, I’m married and he’s married and even if we were both single I don’t love him like that, I love him like... well, he’s my hero. I love him like a hero. I love him like a saviour! But last week he looked me straight in the eyes and he told me what he’d gone through for the title – like I don’t remember or something – and then he gave me this look that I felt just ripped in to my soul. He told me to ‘suck it up’. And I wanted to know HOW, but he wouldn’t tell me,” she says, talking a little quicker now, almost like she’s a little paranoid. “I mean, I ask why. I need to know why. He asks, why not? Why not? Because you’re JONATHAN FUCKING COLLINS! Because you mean EVERYTHING to me! Because I might not even be ALIVE today if it wasn’t for YOU! THAT’S WHY NOT JON! But you don’t get that, do you? And I don’t see why. I don’t see why you’d want me to fight you. I don’t... I mean, I know what it means to you Jon, ok? I know what it meant to you. This title... well, not this title...” she says before pausing and getting up off the couch. She puts the EXODUS Pro International title down next to her and disappears for a few seconds before reappearing with another title, the New Era Wrestling International title that Jon gave her several weeks ago. “...this title! The one you gave me. The title I watched you defend like the strongest man I’ve ever known when I was a kid. The title I admired you with. The title I associate ONLY with you! I know what THIS title meant to you. I know what you went through for it. I know what you sacrificed for it. I know how strong your connection to it is. But Jon, I also remember other things as well. And you talked to me about how nobody’s ever made it matter, right? Nobody’s ever given everything for the International title. Nobody’s ever put EVERYTHING in to it. That includes YOU, Jon.”

She nods her head and holds up the NEW International title again. “You remember this belt, don’t you Jon? And you want to talk to me about the past. You want to talk to me about what it means to you. You want to talk to me about how you define yourself by it and how you fought for it, and I remember all the names you fought, but you want to tell me that nobody since you has cared that much? How did your title reign end Jon? How did it end? Go ahead and tell us. Oh wait, you already did... YOU GAVE IT UP,” she says almost angrily. “You talk down to me like I don’t care about this title Jon? Really, is THAT the way we’re going to do this? You think I’d use the ‘curse’ as an excuse? You think I’d throw up my arms and say ‘oh well, it doesn’t matter anyway’? Wrong! If you think that for a second, EVEN ONE FUCKING SECOND, then you’re WRONG! I would NEVER give this title up. I would fight for this until it killed me. But you, Jon? You gave it up. You gave it away. You handed it over. And why? Why?! Because you wanted to be World Champion! And you want people to think that makes it noble, right? And at the time I supported you, OF COURSE I supported you, but you want people to think that makes it noble. You didn’t lose the title; you were FORCED to give it up, right? No. You CHOSE to give it up. You CHOSE to throw it away. But now you think that I may just give up on it and you tell the world that you’re wanting to fight me now because you need me to prove that I’m a worthy champion? No. I think you’re lying. I think you’re challenging me now because you NEED to, because everything I’ve said about you, everything I’ve said in admiration of you, and giving me this title as a moment in my life I will cherish forever, I think it reminded you Jon. I think it reminded you of throwing it away. I think it reminded you of GIVING UP on this title. And I think that’s why we’re having this match.”

“I’ve thought about this so much, I really have. I thought about it for so long. I’ve tried to rationalise it for so long. I wondered why. I needed to know why. I wanted to know for so long, and I wondered if I’d disappointed you, if I’d upset you, if I’d done something wrong, and it killed me. It killed me thinking that I’d done something wrong, it killed me thinking that I’d upset you somehow and you wouldn’t tell me why,” she says emotionally, wiping another tear from her eye, “but then I realised... it’s not about me, it’s about YOU! You could have had me fight anyone. You could have thrown ANY challenge at me and you KNOW that I would have given it EVERYTHING I had. You could have done that but you didn’t. You picked you. And you picked yourself KNOWING that it was something I couldn’t handle, didn’t you? That’s... that’s the only way I can explain it anyway. All this stuff you said about wanting to know how much fight I have in me, the way you’ve started TALKING DOWN TO ME on Twitter, you KNOW you’re in my head, you KNOW that I’m TERRIFIED of this match because I genuinely don’t know if I CAN actually fight you... and if this is about ME, if this is some sick game about fighting my idol and beating him and potentially HURTING him, knowing what this title once meant to him, knowing what I may need to do to you in order to beat you... if that’s a challenge for me then it’s a SICK one. It’s a TWISTED one. But if I’m right, if this isn’t about me, if this is about YOU then it’s EVEN MORE TWISTED! So am I? Am I right? Is this about you Jon? Are you coming after this title because you remember what you did? After ten years has it finally eaten up at you that you turned this title away, just like you say everyone else did? After ten years has it finally eaten away at you that much?”

“I want you to know something Jon, and I’m not bullshitting here. I love you. I respect you. I adore you. I’ll be thankful to you for the day I die for all the things you’ve done for me and all the things you didn’t even know you did for me. I want you to know all of that. I also want you to know that I want to make you proud. I want to do you proud. I want to show you how passionate I can be. I want to show you the woman I can be. And if you’re coming for me Jon, if you’re coming for this title, then I don’t know if I can fight you. I don’t. But I do know one thing. If you’re coming for this title you’re going to have to KILL me to take it from me,” she says with compete seriousness. “I love you... I don’t want to believe that you ARE doing this because of THIS title, not the EXODUS title but what you did to THIS title but if you are... well; you know I love you but I’ve watched you forever. I’ve admired you forever. You’re a great man Jon, but... you’re also capable of tremendous evil and we both know that. As good as you are, as kind as you are, as loving as you are, there’s also a side of you that is sick and twisted and evil. I’ve seen that side. I’ve watched the things you’ve done to people before. I remember them. And Jon, I’m afraid that when I looked in to your eyes at EXPRO on FX #16 and you told me to ‘suck it up’, I’m afraid I saw THAT side of you. And you want to know my biggest fear Jon? You want to know the thing I’m most scared of? I’m scared it’ll be me who brings that out in you. I don’t want to bring out your dark side. I hate it. I don’t like seeing you like that. You’re my hero. You’re a good man. I don’t want to be the one who unleashes something else. But in a few days I’m scared that the SAINT part of you WILL be Absent, and that what I step in to the ring with won’t be the Jonathan Collins who’s tried to help me, it won’t be the one lecturing me on doing what I have to... it’ll be the vindictive one who has something to prove to himself.”

“I love you Jon,” she says again softly, “and I’m scared right now. I’m scared of what you’ll do to me. I’m scared that I won’t be able to do anything to you. I’m more scared than I’ve ever been just because I looked in to your eyes and I didn’t see the hero I knew, and I’m more scared by that than I am of facing the guy who hit me with a chair and put me through a table! Now THIS is the part where I tell the world that I’m going to fight with everything I hate, that I’m going to give everything I have, that I’m going to win. I can’t do that this week. How do you fight someone you don’t want to fight? How do you beat someone you don’t want to hurt? How do you dig down in to that dark place that you need to channel for all that energy to keep going when you want more than anything for the guy who’s kicking your ass to respect you and not want to hurt you? How do you fight a friend? I don’t know, it’s a new experience for me. The ironic part is that normally I’d ask YOU for advice! So who do I ask now? Who do I turn to? At Absent Are the Saints I’m scared of what you’re going to do to me, but I will make you one promise Jon. I don’t know if I can hurt you. I don’t even know if I’m anywhere close to your level. I mean god, I feel like a little kid when I’m around you. But I promise if you really want to take this from me,” she says, holding up the NEW International title before grabbing the EXODUS Pro International title with her other hand and holding that up to, “or this from me, then you’re going to learn a few things. You may have fallen from heaven Jon, but if you’re an angel you had your wings clipped a long time ago and you’re going to learn that angel, demon or anything else I have the fight in me to beat them all. And you think you are professional wrestling? Well I’m a fighter, and I have more fight in me than anyone so far has given me credit for, including you. You think this is you testing me? Test me Jon, because once upon a time you gave up the International title, and at Absent Are the Saints I’m going to show you that I’m not going to!”

She lowers both titles and sits back, looking at the EXODUS Pro International title for a long time. She just sits there staring at it before knocking the other one off her lap and on to the couch beside her and putting the EXODUS Pro one over her shoulder. “There’s a lot of history here. There’s even a ‘curse’. But as much as I respect history, I don’t live in the past. I was a scared little girl once, a girl who believed that the worst that could happen was going to, a girl who believed there was no point fighting for anything when it would just get taken away. Jonathan Collins helped me see that that wasn’t true, that there WERE things worth fighting for. In a few days he wants me to fight him, but I won’t be fighting him, I’ll be fighting the past... and I’ll be fighting for the future,” she says, smiling at the EXODUS Pro International title before patting it proudly. Talking about this has clearly been hard for her and she takes a deep breath. “Right then, so... it’s go time I guess, and it’s time to go. Leave a comment about the video, and don’t forget to click that subscribe button! Oh, and follow us on Twitter too, we need love on Twitter. I love you guys, you know that right? And as always, I’ve been Lexy Chapel, EXODUS Pro International Champion and lover of lollipops, and this has been another episode of the Chapel Show. Until next time, fuckers!”

She winks at the camera before letting out a weak sigh as the video fades and the Chapel Show logo appears on the screen again for a few seconds. After those seconds expire the video ends and the replay button flashes up.

The Chapel Show

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