Episode: S01E12
Date: 07/06/2014

The video begins and we see the Chapel Show logo on the screen. The logo slowly fades away and we cut to the inside of an apartment, but it’s not an apartment that we recognise from previous editions of the Chapel Show. The walls are white, and look as though they’ve been painted in the not too distant past. We can see the wooden floor, and various boxes all stacked up around the room. We recognise the couch from the Las Vegas apartment, but there is also a coffee table that looks like it may be new, and a few more large boxes stacked against the far wall with technical drawings of them that seem to be more furniture. Standing in the middle of it all though, just in front of the couch, and next to another stack of boxes on top of which sits the EXODUS Pro International Championship belt, stands Lexy Chapel. She’s dressed in red pants and a white t-shirt that reads ‘Me? Crazy? I should get down off my unicorn and SLAP you’, and she smiles at the camera happily. “What’s up fuckers? I’m Lexy Chapel, and last night I must have been in Hogwarts because Nate kept showing me his ‘magic wand’ while shouting ‘MAGICUS ERECTICUS’,” she says with a smirk and a wink at the camera. “Welcome to the Chapel Show, and as you can see you’ve caught us at an interesting time. We moved in to our new place yesterday, so we’ve barely even started unpacking, but we’re glad you could join us all the same because this week is a big week for the Chapel Show and for me. Honestly, so much has happened since I last talked to you guys, there’s so much to go through. First of all, there’s Absent Are the Saints. What an incredible night THAT was. Then there’s this place, the move, so many stories to tell you from that. And finally, there’s this week on EXPRO on FX #17, I don’t think I’m exaggerating at all when I say the biggest week in my television career, my first time in the main event, and a match in which I might actually die!”

She nods her head. “I’m not even kidding either. I mean, I’ve crossed paths with Gods & Monsters before, and we all remember how that turned out,” she says, looking at the International title before smirking, “but seriously, the first time I DID cross paths with them I ended up hit with a chair, put through a table and laid out in the middle of the ring. And that wasn’t even when they had anything against me either, that was just sending a message. That was just a prelude of things to come if I didn’t make better decisions. Well, I’ve not been making better decisions, so what happens next? I don’t know the answer to that. I don’t know what to think about it, but I do know that for once I’m not afraid to find out. Well... that’s not entirely true. I mean, I am scared! I know I probably shouldn’t be, but I am. I know I’m also not supposed to be, because this is professional wrestling and if there’s one thing you’re not supposed to be in professional wrestling then it’s afraid. That’s a lesson I learned from my parents. Growing up as the child of a wrestler isn’t easy. You don’t get to spend a whole lot of quality time with your parents because they’re mostly training, travelling or lying on the couch unable to stand up straight because of the last beating they took. But no matter how hard the beating was, no matter how much he got hurt, my father always told me one thing. Never let them see you’re afraid. Never let them see that you’re hurt. And it wasn’t like my dad was some big, strong, tough man. I mean, he wasn’t a pushover for sure, but he wasn’t eight foot tall, he didn’t bite through sheet metal to show how touch he was. My dad was just a regular guy. He was just a regular guy with a really quite insane job. He did genuinely believe that you shouldn’t show fear though. I guess that’s the way he was trained, and the way that wrestling used to be. Showing fear made you human, and you were supposed to be more than human.”

She laughs a little and shakes her head slowly. “No, that’s not quite right. It wasn’t that you were supposed to be more than human, it’s that you were supposed to pretend you were,” she says, pausing for a moment before shaking her head again. “I remember one time when I was just a little girl. I must have been seven, maybe? Maybe even six! I don’t know exactly, but I do know that I was watching my dad training for a match. It’s been so long that I don’t even remember who he was facing anymore, but I do remember he said the match was important. ‘Alexandra’, he told me, since both my parents always insisted on calling me Alexandra, even though they both knew I didn’t like it. ‘Alexandra’, he said when I asked why it was so important, why he couldn’t just be normal, ‘people don’t pay to watch a normal guy. Nobody invests money in a normal guy. They don’t want normal, they want extraordinary. They don’t want to watch a guy; they want to watch a god’. See, my dad has this tattoo on his arm. It’s of the Norse god Thor. I always assumed it was because he used to read too many comic books, but he had this whole idea about the myths about Gods, about how people believed in them because of what they represented, and he used to think that he had to represent something bigger than himself. That’s why he used the ring name ‘Union Jack’, and why he covered himself in tights and a shirt that represented the British flag, the Union Jack. He used to think that being human wasn’t enough, and he had to be super human. But he wasn’t. He was just a guy. And people didn’t see that, because he wouldn’t let them. They used to cheer for him to get back up no matter how badly he got hurt, because they used to think he was something more than human. But I’d watch him lying on that couch, unable to get up, and I didn’t see a god, I didn’t see someone superhuman. I just saw my dad, bruised, bloodied and hurt.”

She pauses for a long moment before she takes a deep breath in and out. “That kind of thing sticks with you,” she says softly, looking away from the camera for a moment and composing herself before looking back in to it again. “No matter what you do in your life, no matter what kind of life you lead, seeing your dad broken and hurt like that definitely sticks with you. I guess that’s what you see when you grow up in this business though, you see that it’s not all about gods and monsters, it’s about people. Real people, with real families, real emotions and real struggles! And when Nate and I got together, and we moved to America, and we started talking about breaking in to the wrestling business we had a huge conversation about all of this, because his dad was just the same. His dad was Victor Vicious, another man who the world thought was more than human – or less, depending on which side of the battle lines you stood on. Nate’s dad tried to teach Nate the same lessons about the wrestling world as my dad tried to teach me, and we both looked at those two old men, completely obsessed with their careers, who had a rivalry their whole life that became so personal that their children were supposed to continue on the hatred, and we promised each other that that wouldn’t be us. And that’s why you’re watching this today. You’re watching this today because we’re not superman. We’re not gods. We’re not monsters. We’re just people. We’re just two kids who put on a show about our lives, and invite you guys to be part of it. We’re human. And while there are plenty of people out there who think that being human is a bad thing, who think that being human makes you weak, the truth is that they’re wrong. Being human doesn’t make you weak because human beings aren’t weak. We’re stronger than anyone gives us credit for. And we’re more than capable of accomplishing all our wildest dreams.”

She pauses for a moment before picking up the International title and smiling at it. “At Absent Are the Saints I got to live a little bit of a dream, but also a little bit of a nightmare, when I went one on one with Jonathan Collins,” she says, looking at the International title again before holding it up to the camera, “with this on the line. It was my very first defence of this title, a title I feel like I’ve spent my entire life building towards – and I guess for a twenty year old to say that, you could argue that it doesn’t mean much, but it does. I’ve been building toward this title since long before I became a wrestler, in fact since I was a little girl sitting in front of my TV watching my favourite wrestlers competing on television. And at Absent Are the Saints I faced my favourite one of them all, I faced Jonathan Collins, and it was a match and a situation that taught me a lot of things. It taught me that deep down inside all people, no matter how good they are, there is something else waiting. Something almost evil! It taught me that sometimes in this business we’ve got to do things that we don’t necessarily want to do. And it taught me that to live our dreams and be all we can be you’ve got to put aside your fears. I was afraid going in to the pay per view, and the one guy I would have wanted advice from was the guy on the other side of the ring from me gunning to take this title away from me. But he didn’t. I needed to prove that I was ready. I needed to prove that I belonged here. You know what? On pay per view a few weeks ago I feel like maybe I took a huge step toward that. I proved it to Jonathan. I proved it to the world. And I even started to believe it myself, a little. And that helped me move forward. Because that’s what being human is about. It’s about moving forward. So today we’re going to move forward with the Chapel Show, and we’re going to celebrate one of the best things in life: progress. Enjoy the show guys!”

The Chapel Show

We cut from the brand new Chapel apartment to a sunny street as viewed from a moving car window. We see a date and words in the bottom corner of the screen which have obviously been added in during editing where we see the date is a few weeks ago, before the announcement of them finding a new apartment. We see the car pulling down a street and the camera turning from the view of the houses to a view of Nate Chapel sitting in the passenger seat of the car, filming as Lexy’s driving. “Ok guys, we’re on the hunt for a new apartmNathan Chapelent. We think we’ve found the perfect place though, right babe?” he asks before turning the camera on Lexy who nods her head, still maintaining her focus on the road though. “But even so, we need to see this one last place.”

“Ok, let’s be honest for a second babes,” Lexy says, glancing over to the camera and flashing a smile. “There’s only one reason you want to see this apartment, even though the one we’ve already seen in Anaheim is PERFECT!”

“Psh, is any apartment really perfect?” he asks, the tone in his voice obviously implying that the answer is clearly no. “I mean sure, that apartment was nice, and they actually were happy to rent to wrestlers so that’s a plus, but perfect? It had problems.”

“Name one,” she challenges him with a smile.

“Well, it... had two bathrooms. That’s twice as many as we need, and that’s just wasteful,” he says, trying to sound convincing but not even looking like that argument is convincing him. “Besides, who wants to live in Anaheim anyway? It’s boring. But San Diego? Now we’re talking! You’d be closer to the RIMAC Arena, and that’s only going to be a positive, right? That’s part of the reason we’re even moving to California at all, right? Because you want to be close to work, and not close to anything else...”

“Are we REALLY going to go over this AGAIN?” she asks, beginning to laugh. “The reason that he doesn’t want to move to Anaheim, ladies and gentlemen, is because Jon Collins lives in Anaheim.”

“No, it’s not, ok,” he says defiantly. “It’s because I’ve heard nothing but bad things about Anaheim.”

She begins laughing again. “Seriously, you’ve heard bad things?” she asks, rolling her eyes. “Like what?”

“Ok, like, for example,” he says, stressing the last two words and then pausing for a moment. “Ok, like... douche bags live there. Lots and lots of douche bags! It’s the douche bag capital of California babe, and I’m not making it up. I read it on the Internet, and the Internet is NEVER wrong, right?”

“Douche bags?” she asks with a laugh. “Or just one particular one you don’t like?”

“I never said I don’t like him,” Nate replies defensively. “I never once said that!”

“You say it all the time,” Lexy tells him with another laugh.

“Ok, but not to his face,” Nate says back. “Besides, that’s not even the worst part. You know the Ducks are from Anaheim, right? And everyone knows I HATE the ducks!”

“You hate the ducks?” she asks in disbelief. “You hate the ducks? Really? Babes, what sport do they play?”

“Err... they play...” he says before muttering under his breath. “They play merrasketfootbas-ball...”

“Hockey,” she tells him with another laugh. “They play hockey.”

“Right, that’s what I said, hockey,” he says in agreement. “God babe, you need to learn to listen!”

She rolls her eyes again and pulls in to the curb. The car comes to a halt and Nate gets out of the car. The camera stays pointing at the ground for a moment. Suddenly we skip a few seconds and we see a beautiful house, with a picturesque fence and a little dog in the yard that’s frozen in place. It takes a moment before it becomes obvious that we’re looking at a photograph. “So, here’s what we came to see,” Lexy says from behind the camera before lowering the photograph in front of the camera to reveal a charred, burned out building. “And here’s what it looks like now! Now I’m not an expert on California or on the recent wildfires but I think, I THINK, that this house might have been affected.”

She turns the camera to Nate who’s standing there looking at the building. He turns back to her and shrugs his shoulders. “Well, I don’t know about you but I like it.”

She starts laughing again. “You like it?” she asks in disbelief. “This house? You like THIS house?”

“Oh yeah, this place has... potential,” Nate says, nodding his head. “Seriously, I mean a few coats of paint, maybe do something about the smoky smell, and you’ve got yourself a real quality house right here! It’s a fixer-upper sure, but with a little bit of love and a lot of elbow grease...”

She turns the camera back to the house again. “It’s a burned out husk.”

“Yeah, but a burned out husk with potential! Just think about the potential babe,” Nate states again firmly before letting out a sigh. “You’re not buying this, are you?”

She laughs. “Not even a little.”

He crosses his arms and huffs. “Fine, whatever, we’ll get the stupid place in stupid Anaheim,” he mutters before stomping his feet like a child. “But I get to decide on the colours. And you’re getting another stripper pole. And... If someone comes in to your apartment you’re allowed to shoot them, right? I mean, that’s a thing in America, right?”

“You’re not shooting Jonathan babes,” Lexy tells him with a laugh.

“Not even in the leg?”

The Chapel Show

Nate looks at the camera disappointed as we cut to a more recent video. The date on the video is now from last week, and we see the inside of a car once again, this time with Nate behind the wheel. From the sights visible outside the windows as the couple are driving it’s obvious that they’re in Las Vegas once again. We hear Lexy’s voice behind the camera. “And, we’re filming.”

“Welcome back ladies and gentlemen to the most exciting thing you can watch without touching yourself – although we’re both fine if you want to touch yourself a little – the Chapel Show,” Nate says by way of an introduction. “We’re here in beautiful Las Vegas just a few days away from the day that it all ends for us, and we’ve got so many memories in this city. So many good, good memories...”

“I don’t like the way you keep talking about it all ending,” Lexy says nervously. “I’m already pretty sure that Gods & Monsters are going to kill me, I’d prefer for us not to think about the fact that anything could be ending right now.”

“But it is ending babe,” he says with a smirk toward the camera. “Although if they do kill you, you signed the life insurance, right? So, you know, if the worst DID happen I could get my beach house in Miami and be surrounded by hot bitches... you know, to help me grieve!”

She turns the camera around and looks in to it sadly. “And the worst part is that you think he’s joking,” she says with a pout before turning the camera back to Nate again, and then quickly waving for him to slow down. “Wait, wait, slow down a second. This is the spot, right here... this is the spot that you threw up after you ate all those chicken wings at that All You Can Eat buffet!”

“So many good, good memories,” Nate replies, pretending to wipe a tear from his eye. “That WAS a good buffet though, and they said I set a record.”

“No, they told you that they’d SAY you set the record if you’d stop demanding more chicken wings,” she reminds him with a laugh. “It was a good night though.”

“Oh we had some great nights here,” Nate agrees happily before looking in to the camera. “We want to put together a montage of our time in Las Vegas, all the highlights, but... we’re already on thin ice with YouTube as it is, and some of the highlights got a little... inappropriate.”

He begins driving again as we see more of Las Vegas flying by out the window as Lexy continues filming. The footage cuts a little out though and we now see Lexy standing outside a wedding chapel. The place does not look expensive at all, but she looks up at it like it’s the most magical and beautiful place in the world. “Aw, I can’t believe we’ll never see this place again,” she says, looking genuinely emotional. “This is where it all started for us, Big Bud’s Big Weddings! We should look inside!”

She rushes to the door and pushes the door open and we see the inside of the ‘big wedding’ chapel where behind the desk there’s nobody there, but we pan around to see the actual wedding chapel itself where we see a fat guy in an Elvis costume. He sees the camera and starts his routine. “Uh-huh, thank you for visiting Big Bud’s Big Weddings, home of Elvis,” he says, doing a thrust and moving his arm. “A-thank you very much!”

“Elvis,” Lexy says happily, running up to him and hugging him before looking back at the camera. “Oh my god, I can’t believe we’ll never see Elvis again!”

“I wouldn’t hug him too tight babe, you don’t know where he’s been,” Nate mutters from behind the camera. The Elvis impersonator shoots him a glare though and he clears his throat. “I mean, err, it’s a pleasure to see you again sir. I see you’re... looking.... well. Just excuse my wife, we were married here and she’s getting all emotional over Las Vegas because we’re leaving in a few days.”

“You two got married here?” Elvis asks before looking at the two of them. “And you’re still married?”

“Yep, still married and stronger than ever,” Lexy tells him happily.

“Hey Marilyn, these two kids got married here and get this, they’re still married,” the Elvis impersonator says with a laugh. Nate turns the camera as we see a Marilyn Monroe impersonator walk in to the chapel with a cigarette in her mouth and she starts laughing.

“You two got married here?” she asks in a very un-Marilyn accent.

“I sense you don’t get a lot of people coming back here to reminisce,” Nate says with a sigh. “I can’t understand why, it’s so... beautiful...”

“It is to me,” Lexy says before walking over toward Nate looking genuinely happy. “This is where we got married. This place will always be special to me!”

“They’re still married?” the Marilyn impersonator asks, shaking her head. “Damn, either she’s stupid or he’s loaded.”

“I’ll have you know that neither are true,” Nate replies sternly. “It’s actual mostly because I have a really huge—”

“Heart,” Lexy interrupts. “He has a really huge HEART!”

“That too,” Nate states positively. “And I know how to use it!”

We cut from the inside of the chapel to the outside of the diner that Lexy used to work in. She’s looking at the diner, seemingly getting all emotional again. “Oh god, I’m going to miss this place so much,” she says, almost in tears. “Ok, I’m not sure I can do this! I’m not sure I can leave all this behind!”

“I know, they do make good pancakes,” Nate says jokingly.

“You know I’m not just talking about the diner,” Lexy says, looking up at him with a glare. “I mean this whole thing. We have so many memories in Las Vegas! Our whole LIVES are in Las Vegas! We got married here; we got our first apartment, our first car, our first pet! We’ve done so much stuff together in Las Vegas; I’m just not sure I can leave all of THAT behind!”

“Yeah, we did a lot of great stuff here,” Nate replies, zooming in on his wife. “But we’ll do even more great stuff in California. I mean, the next place we’re in together? That’ll be the first apartment that we can actually buy nice stuff. It could be the first apartment where we have a kid. It could be the first—”

“You think we could have children?” Lexy asks with surprise.

“Children?” he asks with a scoff. “I meant we could get a goat!”

She just looks at him in disbelief. “A goat?”

“Sure, Bat-Dog needs a friend,” he says confidently. “Or... a sidekick! Bat-Dog and Goatman! Ooh, a movie idea...”

“No,” Lexy states firmly.

“Fine, fine, but seriously babe, there will be so many firsts in the new place. The first time we have sex in the new bathroom. The first time we spend the whole day naked,” he says and she looks at him with an embarrassed smile. “And, you know, grown up ones too. But it’ll be an adventure. It’s time to move onward and upward babe. It’s time to reach for the stars, don’t you think?”

“Turn the camera off,” she instructs him.

“Aw, what did I do?” he asks defensively and she just smiles at him.

“Nothing, I just want to kiss you right now and I don’t want you to drop the camera.”

The Chapel Show

The video cuts to black temporarily before we reopen again outside the apartment building where there is a large van with rental logos on the side. Nate is filming the van as we hear Lexy grunting and obviously struggling with something. Nate walks slowly around the van just in time to see Lexy almost fall back out of it again in exhaustion. He seems rather pleased though as he looks in to the back of the van and the camera takes a moment to adjust. “All done babe?”

“Oh god, that was so big,” she moans, panting a little before sitting down on the back of the van.

“That’s what she—” Nate begins before seeing the look on his wife’s face and stopping. “Err, not the time? I’ll save it for later.”

“No, but it’s finally done,” she moans before collapsing back on to the van and letting out a loud sigh. “You know, you could have helped a little more. I mean, I know you’ve got your back to worry about and everything but there were a few things that you could have carried.”

“You know what the doctor said babe,” Nate reminds her in a saddened tone. “He said that I have to take things easy, that I can’t go rushing around jerking my back and giving myself a huge setback. And you know I’d help you if I could. I mean, do you think it was EASY for me seeing you carrying all that stuff down here on your own?”

“The comments you kept making didn’t help,” Lexy tells him, rolling her eyes.

“You didn’t want to know that your breasts looked AMAZING when you bent over to lift up that box?” Nate asks in a saddened tone once again. “Well, I was only trying to boost your confidence... but speaking of the girls, how are they doing?”

“They’re fine,” Lexy says, looking down at her own chest. “They’re a little mad at you though.”

“Psh, no they’re not. They miss me,” he says jokingly before looking around the back of the van again with the camera. “You know what though? I really do think that’s it. I mean, this is our whole life packed in the back of the van. You know what I’m thinking?”

“That we really don’t have much stuff?” Lexy asks, looking in to the back of the van which is only half-filled. “Or that we probably COULD have rented the smaller model?”

“No, actually I was thinking you look like you could use a nice, relaxing lay down,” he says, grabbing hold of the side of the van and stepping up, pulling himself up and stepping inside. Again it takes the camera a few seconds to adjust and Nate puts the camera down before walking back in to the van and sitting on the bed. “And oh look, there just so happens to be a bed right here! What a coincidence. And you DID say you were going to miss Las Vegas, so I was thinking...”

“I’m not having sex with you in the back of the van,” Lexy states firmly.

“Whoa, whoa, let me finish,” Nate tells her before pausing for a moment and shrugging his shoulders. “Ok, I’ve got nothing. We should have sex in the back of the van! Just think, our final time in Las Vegas! And remember the day we first GOT this bed? We had a van just like this, and we decided to give it a test before we took it upstairs...”

“Well, if you want to get technical I said that we should start moving it and you claimed to be injured and fell on to it, and I stupidly fell for it,” Lexy says before smiling a little. “It was fun though!”

“It’s a fun bed,” Nate agrees. “And it’s been through so much with us. Don’t you think we owe it to Las Vegas to go out with a little style? Don’t you think we owe it to Las Vegas to go out with a little class? Don’t you think van sex is just hot?”

She looks at him before shaking her head. “Why do I let you talk me in to this stuff?”

We see Nate pump his fist happily. “Oh yeah, Las Vegas van sex,” he says happily before rushing over and helping her up and then pulling the door shut. We then hear him moving and then crying out in pain in the darkness. “Ah, crap, stubbed my toe. Ok, its fine... van sex makes everything better!”

The video cuts to black for a few seconds before turning back on again. We hear the sound of banging on the side of the van along with the sound of Lexy shouting as she talks. “Oh c’mon, SOMEONE has got to hear this,” she shouts, seemingly more in hope than expectation. “We’re locked in the back of the van!!”

“I swear I did not see this coming,” we hear Nate saying before finally a light turns on and we see Nate shining a torch at himself. “There, finally, we’ve got light! I knew I kept this thing around for a reason. Ok guys, well... welcome back to the Chapel Show, and if you’re watching this video, here’s the story about how we died. You’ll be happy to know however that van sex is still kinky as fuck and I wouldn’t change anything!”

“I can’t believe you didn’t check if the door locked from the outside,” Lexy says with a sigh before banging on the wall of the van again. “Oh c’mon, someone has got to hear me! Seriously, if you can hear me, just please unlock the van, we’re trapped in the back!”

“No one is coming babe, we’re all alone,” Nate says, shining the torch under his face like the Blair Witch project. “This is where it all ends for the Chapels! On the bright side, death by starvation in the back of a locked van is better than being killed by Gods & Monsters, right? And you DID say that THAT used to be your big fear. So... you’re welcome!”

She just turns and glares at him as he shines the torch at her. “I hate you so much right now,” she mutters. “How do I let you talk me in to this stuff? I swear before you I was innocent!”

“Before me you were never innocent,” he says with a laugh. “Your dad caught you masturbating on TV, remember?”

“Sure, great, because THIS is a good time to remind me of THAT,” she says angrily before collapsing on the bed again. “Oh god, how did this happen? How are we supposed to get out of here? I mean, someone’s going to come and let us out EVENTUALLY, right? When they find the van is still parked up in the morning, SOMEONE will wonder what’s going on, right? And they’ll let us out.”

“Or... they’ll shoot us and rob us and take all our stuff, already in a convenient van for their stealing pleasure,” Nate says causing Lexy to bury her head under the pillows. He begins looking around before letting out a sigh. “On the bright side, at least we can haunt them. Ooh, another movie idea! Babe, you got a pen?”

She glares at him angrily. “We’re locked in a van!”

He looks back at the camera again. “Ok, she doesn’t have a pen,” he mutters before shaking his head. “Dammit, I always forget to write down the best movie ideas! Ok, so, if this was a movie, then... there would be a sidekick who could help them. Or... they’d have a cell phone that they could call for help. Dammit, I let my cell phone in the front. Ok... err, babe?”

“Just leave me alone to die in peace,” Lexy mutters in a depressed tone before looking at Nate who’s staring at the ceiling of the van and letting out a sigh. “What? What are you looking at?”

“There’s a vent in the ceiling,” Nate says, looking up at the ceiling again. “I bet if we could get something long and hard we could dislodge it and climb out. Unfortunately the soldier is down right now, and he won’t be ready to stand to attention again for a while. Although as huge as he is, this may be beyond even him...”

Lexy looks up at the ceiling and quickly jumps off the bed and disappears toward the back of the van, emerging a few seconds later with a mop. “As much as I love talking about the soldier babes, let’s get realistic!”

“What the hell is that?” Nate asks in confusion.

“This is what we call a ‘mop’,” she explains, rolling her eyes. “It’s what we women use to clean up after you. It’s amazing really, helps us clean the floors!”

“Damn, now I’ve seen everything,” Nate mumbles, staring at the mop in disbelief. “This thing is amazing. It’s all fabricy. Wow, can you imagine how great it would be if they had something like this but, you know, automatic to like suck up all the dirt?”

Lexy can’t help but laugh and roll her eyes. “Ok, we’ll talk about introducing you to cleaning utensils when we get out of here,” she says with a laugh before grabbing the mop out of his hands and beginning to poke at the ceiling. It obviously takes her a few attempts but after a few moments the top of the ceiling grate moves and then Nate quickly moves out of the way as it falls down next to him. Lexy looks happily at the grate and at the obvious hole in the roof of the van now before looking at Nate again with a worried expression. “Um, babes? How do we get up there?”

We cut to Nate holding the camera as Lexy is jumping on the bed, trying desperately to reach out and grab hold of the hole in the ceiling; she finally manages it after a few attempts and hangs in the middle of the van before trying to pull herself up. “That’s it, you can do it,” Nate says encouragingly before walking underneath her and attempting to film up her skirt. We can’t see anything though due to the lack of light in the van. “You’re so close babe! You can do it!”

“Can you at least push me up a little?” she asks as she continues struggling. Finally she’s able to lift herself up enough that only her legs are visible, but she stops there and Nate continues filming as she starts kicking her legs. “Oh c’mon, this is not fair...”

“You need the butter?” Nate asks. She groans in pain before finally managing to get her hips through the small gap in to the top of the van. She disappears out of the hole and we hear footsteps on the top of the van before the sound of scratching on the side of the van, and then a thud. Nate quickly rushes to the side of the van. “Lex? Lexy? You ok out there? Talk to me babe!”

“I think I broke my ass,” we hear her groan from outside the van.

“It’s ok babe, you’re so close, you’re almost there. You’re... ooh, what does this do?” Nate asks before pressing a button.

“What does what do?” we hear Lexy ask, groaning and still obviously in pain as Nate looks to the side where the door now slides up. He looks at the door and then the switch he just pressed, looking guilty and trying to reach up and close the door again as Lexy walks around and we see a look on her face that’s somewhere between pain and disbelief. “Oh you’ve got to be fucking kidding me. There was a button? I went through all that and all you did was press a BUTTON?!”

“It was a well disguised button,” Nate says in his own defence before holding out a hand to help her back in to the van again. We see she’s covered in cuts and is clearly hurt from her experience, and Nate presses the button again and laughs. “On the bright side, one day we’re going to LAUGH about this...”

The Chapel Show

We cut from the back of the van and back inside the new apartment, which we now know is somewhere in Anaheim, California. There isn’t much in the apartment yet besides a few boxes and we hear the sound of Nate cheering from the hallway as Lexy groans. We see Nate walk back in to the room and grab the camera, beginning to film himself. “So, it’s moving in day, and our first day in the building is also the first day that the elevator is broken,” he says with a laugh. “Typical, right? But we need to get all the stuff moved in by 4pm, since we need to return the van. No task is too great for your EXODUS Pro International Champion however. Lexy, tell us how you feel...”

He walks out of the apartment to find Lexy slouched over on the couch, which is positioned right at the top of the stairs. She looks exhausted. Five flights of stairs,” she mutters more to herself than to the camera. “Five flights of stairs all on my own... I’m beginning to think death on Monday won’t be so bad. At least there will be no more moving furniture!”

“You’re almost there babe,” Nate says encouragingly before walking back in to the apartment. “And when you’re done with that, there’s just the bed to go and that’s all the heavy stuff, I think. You have no idea how proud I am of you right now. And you know I’d help if I could, but—”

“Your back, I know,” she replies, dragging the couch in to the room before collapsing back on to it in a heap. “Oh god, I don’t think I can do the bed as well. I just don’t think I can make it...”

“You can do it babe,” Nate tells her encouragingly. She gets up off the couch and lets out a sigh before walking toward the door and disappearing. Nate puts the camera back down again and begins looking through a few of the boxes, and then seemingly finds the one he wants toward the bottom. He shrugs and begins moving the boxes around with ease, pulling out the box he wants and then putting them all back again before putting the box he needs on top and opening it, smiling happily at the contents. Lexy walks back in and Nate quickly grabs his back, looking in pain. “Oh, god, I just tried to pick up this box and...”

“Oh god, are you ok?” she asks with genuine concern. He just looks up at the camera and winks before holding his back and turning to his wife again.

“I just wanted to help...”

“Sit down,” she instructs, looking guilt ridden and beginning to rub his back. “Where does it hurt?”

“I’ll be ok,” he says with a pained look and a nod of his head. “I’ll... be ok. You just worry about getting the bed up here, and I’ll try my best not to move and make it worse.”

She nods. “Ok, but stay there, ok? Don’t lift ANYTHING else!”

“Don’t worry, I won’t make that mistake again,” he says, holding his back in pain. Lexy disappears out the door again as Nate grins and jumps up off the couch, walking over to the camera. “Oh, I am going to get in so much shit for this... but she’s hot when she’s angry!”

He winks at the camera before grabbing some comic books out of the box that he rearranged to get and then sits down on the couch again, smirking at the camera again and putting his feet up, beginning to read the comic books happily as we fade out.

The Chapel Show

We fade back inside the apartment where Lexy looks in to the camera again with a sigh. “So, that was our week. Hope you enjoyed the show. Nate obviously couldn’t be here today because I murdered him,” she says before letting out a sigh and shaking her head. “Well, not really but sometimes I wish I had. Don’t worry, I intend to pay him back for his little stunt and then some, but you’ll need to tune in next week to see me extract my revenge! But revenge is an interesting topic right now, because it leads me back to two weeks ago, Absent Are the Saints, and the World Heavyweight Championship match. Christum Furor taking on Johnny Cannon, defending the championship that he only just won, and looking to reclaim that which Furor lost not too long ago. And while it wasn’t your typical grudge match – mostly because Cannon wasn’t the one who dethroned Furor I guess, and something tells me that he’d have loved to get his hands on Andreas Lasiewicz but that he was more than happy to settle for Johnny. And it’s no secret that I’ve always been a fan of Johnny Cannon. The guy is an icon. He was in so many movies I remember watching with my friends back home when I was in secondary school. That’d be like high school for you guys, I guess. I was thrilled when I got the opportunity not too long ago to go one on one with Johnny Cannon and find out just how good I could be against him, and I was thrilled for hiLexy Chapelm when he went on from there to beat Andreas Lasiewicz and become the EXODUS Pro World Champion. I’m not the only one either. The world was thrilled to see it. They were... less thrilled to see what happened at Absent Are the Saints. In fact you want to know the truth? I’ve never seen a building go as suddenly silent as they did when that three count was made and Christum’s music hit. You could hear every word of ‘The Quiet Place’ by In Flames playing as people watched on, knowing that Johnny had fallen, and knowing that we were going back to the ‘New Age’...”

“But congratulations are in order, aren’t they? Congratulations to Christum Furor, congratulations to our EXODUS Pro World Heavyweight Champion, the baddest man in the company, the multiple time World Champion, the most hated man here but still the man who’ll undoubtedly be crowned the wrestler of the half-year. And he’s earned it. He’s earned it because he IS that good, he’s earned it because he IS the World Champion, but that doesn’t mean that anyone has to rejoice over it, and it certainly doesn’t mean that any one of us needs to be HAPPY about it,” she says, shaking her head slowly and picking up the International title again before placing it across her shoulder. “And while you’re the World Champion Christum, I only have this. I’m just the International Champion, something that means I’m beneath you, right? And I know what you’ve had to say about me. I’ve heard what you’ve all had to say about me. I know that you think you can intimidate me Christum, and you want to know the truth? You can. You can, because the name of the group, Gods & Monsters, it couldn’t be more apt for you. You see yourself as a God, you want people to see you as that too, but you’re a monster. Deep down inside you are a monster, and I didn’t need to listen to your threats toward me or my husband to know that. You’ll do anything to win. You’ll do anything to get across your agenda. You’ll do anything to get what you want. I know you; I’ve looked in to your eyes and what I saw there... it scared me. You scare me Christum. But while I have no doubt at all that you’re a monster, I know something about you. I know something about you that I’ve learned from my father, and that’s that as big as you are, as scary as you are, as extraordinary as you seem to be... when you remove all the hype, when you remove all the pretence... you’re human.”

“You’re probably going to laugh at this Christum, and so will Savannah, and so will Sally, and so will Jerry wherever he is, and so will all the others who’ve been a part of your collective, all the others who’ve been a part of your ‘New Age’, but even today, even at the age of twenty... I’m afraid of horror movies. Nate mocks me for it quite a bit, but I can’t help it. I mean, take the Halloween remakes, right? Michael Myers is a big, scary freak of nature in a mask and he can’t be stopped. He’s a monster. No matter what you do to him, no matter what you hit him with, no matter how hard you try to end him somehow, someway he’ll get back up and he’ll come at you again and again and again. You can shoot him, you can set him on fire, you can crush him beneath a building and somehow he’ll get back up and he’ll come at you again, and to me that is scary,” she says before she nods her head slowly. “But here’s the thing about Michael Myers. He’s not real. And that’s the thing I need to remind myself of, because no matter how real he seems, no matter how brutal he seems to be, and no matter how many actors play the role or how many times the franchise gets rebooted in the years to come, Michael Myers is a work of fiction. He’s a character. He’s make-believe. And while he can’t be stopped Christum, you can. Oh you may seem unstoppable, and you may get in to my head, and you may terrify me, but as scared as I get just thinking about you I know that underneath all the bravado and the threats is just a man, and a man I’ve seen lose before. I already watched it happen. I watched Andreas Lasiewicz end your first title reign, and ok, so maybe I’m not working with Andreas this week, and you’re damn right if you tell me that I’m not Andreas Lasiewicz, nor would I ever claim to be, but that still proves one thing. The monster is beatable. The god CAN fall.”

She pauses for a moment before pulling out her iPhone and flicking through it a moment, eventually pausing and holding it up as a song begins to play. The song is ‘Gods & Monsters’ by Lana Del Rey, and Lexy begins to sing along. “In the land of gods and monsters, I was an angel, living in the garden of evil. Screwed up, scared, doing anything that I needed, shining like a fiery beacon,” she sings before pausing the song. “Ok, so maybe the whole song isn’t the most appropriate, I mean I’m many things but I don’t think I’m quite as messed up as Lana sings about in that song. But a little later on she sings about innocence lost, about the world corrupting her with all its vices, and when I look at Gods & Monsters I can’t help but think of this song. That’s true of you all, isn’t it? You want to corrupt everything around you. You hated everything around you, so you want to drag everyone in to that. You’ve all got your reasons for doing the things you do as well. Savannah has more than enough reasons to side with Gods & Monsters. Sally is furious at what she views as a betrayal, she thinks she was thrown to the wolves and now she’s back angry and wanting to take out her rage on the world. I get that. I get that you’re all angry. And it’s scary to me when three people as GOOD as you are all get together in the way you have, all side together in the way that you have, all stand on the same page the way that you do. Sally spoke about you being a team. She wasn’t lying. You’ve got one shared agenda, and that is making people like me SUFFER. You want to drag me in to the garden of evil, you want to show me what a horrible place the world is, you want to make me suffer for having trust in Jonathan Collins, you want to break me, to hurt me, to drag me down alongside you and make me feel the pain that you feel. But that’s NOT going to happen, because I’m NOT like you!”

“I’ve heard the stories before. Jonathan is evil. Jonathan will sacrifice you. Jonathan is using you. Jonathan this, Jonathan that, blah, blah, blah,” she says, rolling her eyes at the camera. “You want me to let you in on a little secret? I know he can be evil. I’ve just experienced a little part of that myself. I looked in to his eyes and I SAW that evil. I’ve been a fan of Jonathan for a VERY long time and other than Fiona, I dare to say that I probably know him and know everything he’s about better than anyone else in this company. But I also know that Jonathan stands for something, and that’s what draws me to him. He doesn’t stand for hatred, he stands for hope. He doesn’t spew bile, he spews belief. He made me believe in myself. I was a little broken girl who was too afraid to face the world, who wanted to wrap herself up in a blanket and protect herself from all the evil in the world, the evil that YOU represent, but Jonathan taught me hope. Even watching from the other side of the Atlantic in the middle of the night in my pyjamas, Jonathan taught me hope. And while you may have many weapons Christum, while you may have many ways to intimidate and scare me, that is one weapon that you’ll NEVER have! And as much as you can threaten me and the rest of the world, as much as you can tell us all that we’ll never be as good as you, that the world will hurt us, that our friends will betray us, as much as you may SUCK people in to this bullshit and in to following you as their god the ONE THING that you can never have, the ONE THING that you can NEVER take away from me is simply that: hope. Because in the song Lana may sing about losing her innocence, but I won’t lose mine! I won’t allow myself to become like you Christum. I won’t allow myself to drop to your level, to become angry and bitter and resentful at the entire world. I won’t allow myself to become a monster, and you can call that inexperience, you can call that naivety, you can call that whatever you want but I call it hope.”

She pauses for a moment again before beginning to smile. “But like I said, I listened to everything you all had to say, especially you Christum. I heard you look down on me. I heard you belittle me. And I know what you think about me. You, and Sally, and Savannah, you think I’m a disposable foot soldier in Jonathan’s eyes, nothing more than a pawn he’s moving around for his own game. Maybe you’re right. Maybe that is how he sees me. Maybe he doesn’t love me and respect me the same way I love and respect him. But you want to know another little secret? I DON’T CARE! I’m not doing this so Jonathan will put his arms around me. I’m not doing this so Jonathan will make my life easy. I’m doing this because – and get this, ok, because this is a CRAZY concept for people like you but try to keep up with it, try to just IMAGINE it at the very least – I’m doing this because IT’S RIGHT,” she says loudly and proudly before laughing and shaking her head. “Oh, I know. I know. She’s so naive. She believes in right and wrong. She believes in good and evil. She believes in all these crazy concepts that you’re just above, because you’re monsters. She believes in all these crazy ideals that mean nothing to you because you see the world the way that you see it. What a foolish child that Lexy Chapel is. You should crush her. You should destroy her body, mind and soul. You should send her down to hell, or teach her the way the world really is. Oh, wait, didn’t someone try that already? Yeah, that’s right, someone did. He was a preacher man. He believed in everything Christum had to say too. He believed Christum showed him the light, that he’d wasted his life believing in THAT god because Christum was the true god... or some such bullcrap. Geez, what happened to him? Whatever happened to the preacher man who was going to destroy me on behalf of Gods & Monsters before? Oh right, I BEAT HIM!”

“I mean c’mon now, do you guys really think you’re original. Do you think I haven’t heard this before? Do you think I haven’t been intimidated by opponents before? I have. He scared me too. Jerry Matthews scared me. Go find him and ask him how well that worked out for him though, while you’re all busy looking down at me like I’m a bug beneath your feet that you’re going to STEP right on and move along. And continue making threats, because those are super fun. I mean, on March 9th I’m going to be acquainted with the darkness! Holy crap, that’s three months ago! Wait, I know Christum is a god, but he can TRAVEL IN TIME AS WELL? Fuck Collins, THAT WASN’T PART OF THE DEAL,” she says shaking her fist at the camera before beginning to laugh. “Oh, I know, I’m mocking a slip of the tongue. I did that on Twitter too, except that I more mocked the fact that Christum wanted something new, so I threatened to beat him and give him something new! I do that when I’m nervous. I’m a little bit of a joker. I like to have a good time. I like to smile. I like to laugh. And I know that going up against Gods & Monsters is no laughing matter, but yet here I am making jokes. You guys are going to punish me for that, right? ‘Bad Lexy, she mocked us, let’s crush her bones’. Yeah... you should try that. Really, go ahead. Because like I said earlier on I know the secrets. I’m a rookie, I’ve not been wrestling long, but I’m a second generation star and watching my dad in that story I told you earlier, it taught me two things. It taught me that no matter what you think you stand for, no matter how big you try to make yourself, no matter how super human you pretend to be, you can be hurt and you can fall just like everyone else. And it taught me that no matter how badly you take a beating, time heals all wounds, and if my father never gave up in the battles he’s had, and Jonathan Collins never gave up in all the battles he’s had, why should I cower in the corner from this?”

“You three think you’re so bad, don’t you? You’re bad-asses, no doubt about that. You’ve been through wars, no doubt about that. And I’m unproven. You guys don’t really know me. But here’s the flipside of that – NONE OF YOU REALLY KNOW ME,” she says with a passion. “I have no doubt in my mind that this week I’m in for a war. I have no doubt in my mind that this week I’m in for a fight. I have no doubt in my mind whatsoever that Christum Furor, Savannah Taylor and Sally Talfourd are coming for me, that Gods & Monsters are coming for me, but I have faith in myself and I have FAITH in my partners. And you all look down on me, but you look down on them as well. You look down on WEAPON. You look down on the mask, you look down on the history, but you don’t know HIM either. You don’t know what he’s capable of, just like you don’t know what I’M capable of. This week, I have faith in him to stand by my side and I have faith in him to help us in this fight. And you look down on Fiona Collins. You look down on her for what you view as her failures, what you view as her weaknesses, you look down on her because she fell in love with a GREAT man and is willing to FIGHT for what she believes in, but here’s another secret. She DOES fight for what she believes in and I’ll be honest with you just like I’ll be honest with her. Fiona Collins is an inspiration to me. She is a ROLE MODEL to me. If I can accomplish HALF of what she’s accomplished in her career in mine, if I can do even a FRACTION of the things she’s done then I’ll consider my career a huge success. I respect Fiona more than I can put in to words, and this week getting the opportunity to team with her, to stand alongside her, to show her what I can do? That isn’t going to break me. That’s going to make me fight EVEN HARDER to impress HER and to make sure she knows that I’ve got her back, and I have FAITH that she’s got mine.”

“You see that’s what this is all about in the end. This is about faith. This is about hope. This is about the EXODUS Seikigun standing up to the MONSTERS of this world and telling them that they may want to scare us but we WON’T back down! So go ahead and threaten. Go ahead and tell your stories. Go ahead and tell me how scary you are and how I should quake in my boots. Go ahead and do it all, because I may be scared but I am not a coward. And as scary as all of you are, you’re just HUMAN in the end with the same weaknesses as the rest of us, and in Kyoto, my second ever trip to Japan, it is my ambition to EXPOSE those weaknesses for the world to see,” she says passionately before looking at the EXODUS Pro International title again and smiling. “I started this off, in a roundabout way, telling you about my dad. Let me finish with that. My dad was a great number of things. He was an amazing wrestler. He was a tough competitor. And he was an icon. He wanted the world to think that he was more than human though. He wanted the world to view him as they had viewed the Gods in ancient times. I don’t. I don’t want you people thinking I’m more than human, because I’m not. I’m just like you. I’m weak, I’m pudgy in places – let’s not go in to too much detail over where those places are though, it’s a sensitive issue for everyone, right girls? But I am – and this week I’m going up against the biggest challenge of my young career. I know I’ve said that before, and I’ll probably say it again, because the challenges keep coming and they keep getting bigger. But going up against the EXODUS Pro World Champion, the San Diego Bay Champion – whatever issues I may have with the way she holds that title – and someone like Sally Talfourd won’t be easy. I’m going to get knocked around. I’m going to get hurt. There are going to be times when I’m hurt in that ring and I’m struggling to move. But here’s the thing about being human – we may be weak, but there is NOTHING that we cannot do! This week, I aim to prove that to the world. Last week I proved myself as International Champion, this week I prove myself as so much more. This week we fight monsters, and we show them hope, faith and humanity overcomes the darkness.”

She takes a deep breath before beginning to smile again. “So, if you want lessons on how to encourage a group of relentless, remorseless monsters to murder you, and then kill your husband in his sleep, I’ll be available tomorrow to give them out, but after Monday night I’m not taking any more bookings because, well... I might be dead,” she says with a laugh. “But I believe I’ll be back in two weeks, and I believe I’ll be beaten up but I have faith that I’ll have a smile on my face anyway, because I love this sport, I love this company and I’m willing to fight for everything that I believe in, and fight for the soul of EXODUS along the way. And if you want to join the fight, or just give me some kind of encouragement, you could like the video. That’s ALWAYS a great way to show your support. That, and of course subscribe! And leave a comment. Comments are fun! So, as always, I’ve been Lexy Chapel, lover of magic wands and unicorn rider, and your EXODUS Pro International Champion, and this has been another episode of the Chapel Show! Until next time, fuckers!”

She winks at the camera before pretending to shadow box a little in preparation for the match as the video fades out and the Chapel Show logo appears on the screen again for a few seconds. After those seconds expire the video ends and the replay button flashes up.

The Chapel Show

Archives Biographies