THE CHAPEL SHOW
Episode: S01E13
Date: 21/06/2014

The video begins and we see the Chapel Show logo on the screen. The logo slowly fades away and we cut to a clip of British wrestling legend Lucas Knight, with a beer in hand, as he lifts the beer toward the camera as a toast. “Hi, I’m Lucas Knight – British, Infamous, Legendary. You’re watching another British, Infamous and Legendary production, the Chapel Show.”

We cut to the inside of the Chapel apartment in Anaheim, California. Unlike the last time we saw this apartment everything in the apartment is now neatly unpacked, and in terms of pure furniture within the apartment there seems to be considerably more of it now. The bookcase that was at the back of the lounge in the Las Vegas apartment has been moved to the far wall behind the couch now, and we can see rather than being full of books it’s in fact full of DVDs and Blu-rays. There’s also a glass coffee table visible in front of the couch now, which is clearly new and replacing the old wooden one from the Las Vegas apartment. The couch seems to have been repaired as well, although it remains the same couch the couple had in Las Vegas. That isn’t the only change however, because the camera rolls for a few seconds before Lexy Chapel walks in to the picture, her normal blonde hair now replaced shockingly by red. She stands there for a moment, looping her hair around her right index finger and twirling it around before shrugging her shoulders. “What’s up fuckers? I’m Lexy Chapel and before you ask the answer is no, the carpets don’t match the drapes, although my ‘carpet’ tends to be left bare anyway,” she says before laughing a little. “Welcome to the Chapel Show, and yes as you’ve no doubt noticed, I’m sporting a different look this week. I was going to announce this on Twitter earlier in the week but I figured I’d save it for now. For anyone wondering, the red hair is a direct result of the Strip World Cup, and the fact that Nate apparently has a thing for the Black Widow.”

She rolls her eyes and laughs again. “Anyone who’s been following us on Twitter – which, by the way, should be all of you, and if you’re not doing it then I’m very disappointed and you should go follow us RIGHT NOW. Seriously! The links are in the info section below,” she says, pointing down enthusiastically. “Anyway, if you HAVE been following us on Twitter then you know that the World Cup is upon us, and being the good little English people we are we’ve been embracing the beautiful game in all its glory. It started with just a determination between the two of us to watch as many of the games as possible, and that led to us finding other people to watch the games with, and THAT led to Nate being Nate and deciding the only way to make football – yes Americans, I’m calling it football, deal with it – better was to make a game out of it where I had to take my clothes off, because there’s nothing in this world Nate loves more than finding fun ways to humiliate me. And thus, a week ago, the Strip World Cup was born. You might think that it sounds ridiculous; you might think that it’ll never last; you might even think that it sounds like something he makes up as he goes. Well, you’d be right about the last one anyway, but to give my crazy asshole of a husband some credit he has actually been keeping track of the rules as he goes. Unfortunately those rules normally end up working against me, and I’ve ended up naked on the vast majority of the days so far, but I have got him back at least once... not that he really seemed to mind much.”

She rolls her eyes again and shakes her head. “Honestly, what is with you guys and taking your kit off? I swear you don’t even need an excuse for it. And given some of the comments we’ve had on Twitter while we’ve been embracing all the fun of the Strip World Cup, a lot of you have been joining in at home as well. I’d say that it’s fun for the whole family, but really this isn’t a game you want to play in front of your whole family,” she says before looking worried and putting her hands over her chest. “Hell, this isn’t even a game I wanted to play with company present, but of course that’s not the way Nate does things. So, how many of you following us on Twitter are aware of the rules? You get six items of clothing, for each goal scored against your team you’ve got to remove an item, but after much debate on Twitter about what happens if you run out of clothes... well, that’s where the red hair comes in. If you run out of clothes, you then start racking up ‘penalties’ for each additional goal your team concedes. I went down six items of clothes AND three penalties one day and... Well, I said Nate has a crush on the Black Widow, right? I knew we shouldn’t have gone to see Captain America 2. So, for now at least, the blonde hair has gone and I’m rocking the red locks. Don’t get too used to them, I’m not sure how long they’re going to last. We’ll see though. I could get used to them I guess, and it’s a fun way to avoid the inane blonde jokes I’ve heard all my life. Speaking of which...”

She stops for a moment before grabbing the EXODUS Pro International Championship from just off camera and holding it up to the camera. “Last week was a big week for me, and for this championship, because last week saw the man we call WEAPON, the number one contender to the EXODUS Pro World Championship Fiona Collins, and yours truly, the International Champion, do exactly what we promised we’d do. This little blonde girl stepped up against the evillest of evils, this little blonde girl stepped up against the EXODUS Pro World Champion, the EXODUS Pro San Diego Bay Champion, and one of the greatest prospects ever in EXODUS history, and thanks to teamwork, heart and a hell of a submission hold from WEAPON, last week saw good triumph over evil. And I know how that sounds, I know what you’re going to think about it, but it did. Last week was a hell of a stage, it was my first ever main event, and it was one of the greatest things I’ve done in this business yet,” she says with a genuine smile and a look of pride in her eyes. “Teaming with WEAPON was incredible, teaming with Fiona was honestly an honour and I learned so much just being around her, and last week the EXODUS Seikigun stood tall, but we all know that that wasn’t the end of this. In fact, it was just the beginning. Last week I got to fight for what I believe in, what I believe is right, and I got a hell of a thrill fighting in Japan, but this week we’re in Japan once again, and the war between the EXODUS Seikigun and Gods & Monsters is far from over because this week it steps up to a whole other level.”

She takes a breath, looking a little hesitant. “This week EXPRO on FX returns to return to Japan once again, to Fukuoka, and I know that Gods & Monsters will be out for revenge because that’s just what those kinds of people do. That means if I wasn’t already wary of going up against Sally Talfourd, one of the best that EXODUS Pro has had to offer no matter how much she may have changed in the last few months, then I’m extra wary right now. I’ve said it before but I still remember what going up against Gods & Monsters means, I’ve seen the way they treat people and I’ve been on the receiving end of a beating that left me in the hospital. I really, really don’t want to spend the night in a Japanese hospital on Monday. But if it comes down to taking that risk or refusing to fight against Sally then that’s a risk I’m going to have to take, because this week I don’t intend on backing down from this fight,” she says, nodding confidently. “I haven’t let that intimidation get to me this week though, and I don’t plan to. I’m going to let ANYONE, no matter the threats they make or the demeaning things they say, get me down. Instead I’m just going to go out there and have fun, and that’s what this week’s episode is all about. Because last week I was worried going in to that six person tag team match, I was worried that I wouldn’t do my part, I was worried that I’d let the team down, I was worried about losing the respect of people that I respect so much, and to come through that, even with the next challenge around the corner, meant remembering that life isn’t the dark abyss that they want us to think it is. Life is fun. Life is for living. And that’s what I did this week, in spite of the challenges behind me and the challenges ahead. And I got to meet an idol of mine too! Enjoy the show guys...”

We cut from the apartment in Anaheim to a hotel room in Japan. It seems to be Japan anyway due to the large Japanese flag hanging in the background. It isn’t that which we focus on however but rather the set on the floor. We see a large number of small cardboard buildings set up that are all beautifully painted and magnificently put together. Some of them even genuinely look like they could be little houses. We see Nate Chapel grinning happily as he shows one final model to the camera. It’s of what seems to be an office building, painted to look like it’s made of glass. “Ok, I think it’s ready,” he says happily as he leans down and places the building in its position. He gets up again and looks admiringly at his work and then starts to giggle. “Well, while Lexy’s been training, I’ve been having some fun. What do you guys think? Beautiful, right? It’s taken me a few days, but this is the perfect little city. Now...”

He grabs the camera and the clip abruptly cuts to a new angle. We’re no longer looking at the cardboard city from high above; instead we’re now down amongst the middle of the city. We see large fingers moving around a few of the little cardboard figures. The fingers move one figure closer to another, and we hear Nate’s voice again as he’s clearly doing an impression of a Japanese person. “Oh, hewwo, I’m Japanese!”

The fingers move the other figure to face this one. “Oh, I’m a Japanese girl,” Nate says now, only in a high pitched tone which is clearly his impression of a Japanese woman. “I watch Sailor Moon and I like selling my panties on the Internet.”

“Ah, as Japanese man, I like buying panties,” Nate says, in his male Japanese voice again, moving the figure of the little man again. “I also like Sake. Do you have any Sake? We should drink Sake together, and eat sushi!”

“Oh, I love sushi,” he says in his Japanese girl voice while moving the Japanese girl figure. “I eat sushi all the time while I read my anime. One day I’m going to become a great Pokémon master!”

“Ah-ha, yes, you should train hard to be a Pokémon master,” he says in the deep male voice again, “and when you do, always remember to wear very slutty school girl outfits like my wife won’t ever wear, even when I ask her really nicely. Everyone knows all Japanese girls love school girl outfits.”

“We wear them all the time,” he says once more in the girl’s voice before there’s a thud and all the buildings shake. “Oh no, what’s that? Maybe it was an earthquake?”

There’s another thud and once again all the buildings shake. “That’s no earthquake,” he says in the male voice. Suddenly at the back of the buildings we see movement, and then we see a large Godzilla toy begin stomping its way through the city, crushing the little cardboard buildings and cardboard cars. We see the little figure of the Japanese man turn to face the oncoming giant Godzilla doll and begin shaking. “Oh no, it’s Godzilla! Godzilla has come for us!”

“Oh no,” Nate says again in the girl’s voice while shaking her as well, “not Godzilla. Who can save us from Godzilla?”

We see in the background the Godzilla toy continuing to crush buildings. Then Nate moves out of shot of the camera for a moment and repositions the Godzilla toy to the size. We see what looks like an aerosol can being moved behind the toy, and a lighter, and then suddenly fire shoots out from alongside the dolls mouth and part of the set catches fire. “Oh no, Godzilla has fire breath,” Nate says in the Japanese man’s voice again. “Help, help, save us from Godzilla!”

“Don’t worry Japanese citizen,” Nate then says proudly in something far closer to his normal voice. Suddenly in to shot comes a flying figure, still controlled by Nate’s fingers. We see the face is that of Nate Chapel himself, but the body seems more like a Superman picture, along with blue suit, red cape and boots. Instead of an S on his chest however the figure has a C. “I heard your cries for help. Even Godzilla is no match for the amazing Chapel-Man!”

“Chapel Man?” we hear Lexy’s voice ask from considerably further away from the camera. “Oh my god, what the hell have you been doing while I’ve been busy training and actually helping further my career? You’re playing CHAPEL MAN versus GODZILLA?!”

We see the Chapel Man figure turn in the direction of her voice and then turn back to the Godzilla toy. “But... Godzilla is destroying Tokyo. Someone has to stop him...”

“Godzilla is destroying Tokyo?” Lexy just asks in disbelief. “Wow. Is that what you’ve been doing every night after I’ve gone to bed? Is that why you insisted we went to that store on the other side of Kyoto? You wanted to buy little model houses so you could build a take Tokyo that you could then destroy with a Godzilla doll?”

“It’s not a doll,” Nate says disapprovingly. “It’s a Godzilla Action Figure, and it’s classic babe! I mean just look at it, twenty-four inch figure, long tail, this guy is seriously collectable! Plus you interrupted me before I even got to the best part.”

“I’m going to regret asking this,” Lexy says, taking a deep breath, “but what was the best part?”

“Well after Chapel-Man and Godzilla fight, Gamera was going to show up. And then Godzilla and Gamera were going to team up and almost beat Chapel-Man, and if you stop looking at me like that I’ll let you in on the secret ending where the Power Rangers show up, and you can even play the pink one,” he says encouragingly before bending down to look in to the camera. “I don’t think she’s going for it folks...”

“We come all the way to Japan and this is what you spend your time doing?” Lexy asks in disbelief.

“Well you wouldn’t let me go and interview people on the street about Godzilla,” he says with a sigh. “I swear to you babe, people don’t just make this shit up. I know somewhere out there is the real Godzilla. Ok, he may not be as big as in the movies, but I know they based it on something, and—”

“The ‘real’ Godzilla?” she asks, letting out a long sigh. “Seriously babes, are we going to have to have this talk again? You’re like a big kid over this stuff.”

“Fine, fine, whatever,” Nate mutters, picking up the camera and filming the destruction of Tokyo as it currently stands. “But if Godzilla was real, he could do some serious damage. It would probably take more than Megazord to stop him...”

Nate pans the camera around to where Lexy stands with her head in her hands. “You’re such a geek, you know that?” she asks before rolling her eyes. “And I can’t believe you set the model on fire. Why would you even do that? You’re just lucky the fire alarm didn’t—”

As if on cue the fire alarm sounds and sprinklers come on from the ceiling, spraying water over the fake Tokyo set and putting out the fire but also soaking our stars. “Ok, I admit, maybe the fire was a bad idea,” Nate mutters softly. “I bet it looked bad-ass though. Want to watch the film with me?”

We see Lexy face-palm again and shake her head slowly as the scene fades out.

We cut from the Japanese hotel room to a far more recognisable location, and although we’re not completely sure where it is it seems to be a sunny street somewhere in California. We see Lexy Chapel, still with her blonde hair at the point this was filmed, walking down the street in an England football shirt and with a smile on her face as she’s being filmed clearly by Nate, who’s singing proudly about ‘football coming home’. Lexy just looks at him and laughs. “You know they’re going to think you’re one of the ‘hooligans’, right? They’ll probably never let you in the bar.”

“What, for showing a little spirit and belief in the team? I’m feeling good about today babe, something magical is going to happen, I can feel it,” he says happily before stopping and focusing in on her. “So, are you excited about the games today? Are you fully in the World Cup spirit?”

“You know I am,” she says happily, pointing at her shirt. “I just... well, I have a bad feeling about this. I mean, it is Italy.”

“Yeah, but...” Nate begins before trying to think of an argument. “I mean, other than Pirlo, do they have anyone actually World Class?”

“Do WE?!” Lexy asks, shaking her head. “We’ve got some good defensive players, we’ve got some talented midfielders, we’ve got some great attacking players but we’re basically totally relying on one player to score for us.”

“Yeah,” Nate says with a sigh, “Sturridge!”

“Exactly,” Lexy agrees with a nod of her head. “And we’re basically playing with ten men, because having Rooney on the pitch is a fucking handicap!”

We see Nate reach out and put a hand on her shoulder supportively. “Don’t worry babe, like I said I’ve got a good feeling about today, and I’ve got an incredible surprise for you as well. I know that thing in Japan was... a bit of a problem,” he says before cutting her off as she tries to respond. “And I know they wanted us to pay damages in the hotel, and I agree fire is bad, and I promise I’ll never set anything on fire again when I know there’s a sprinkler system in the room.”

“Or you could just never set anything on fire again,” Lexy suggests, more in hope than expectation. “I mean, that would work...”

“Yeah, but we both know that’s a promise I can’t keep,” he tells her with a shrug. “But for being a good sport about it all I promised you a surprise today, right? And I’m going to deliver.”

“I thought your ‘England’s gonna win’ naked dance was the surprise?” she says curiously. “You have another one?”

“That wasn’t a surprise, that was a treat,” he tells her before turning the camera back around to himself. “Sorry ladies but YouTube have rules against me posting it. I swear, they’re just trying to deny you what you know you need.”

“Speaking on behalf of all women, we’ll get over it,” Lexy tells him with a laugh.

“Oh don’t you worry babe, there will be plenty more dancing for you,” he says happily before turning the camera back around again, “but in the meantime on to the surprise. Right, now I thought long and hard about how we could possibly make the World Cup better. And you wouldn’t agree to wear my World Cup bra.”

“You mean the bits of string you tied England flags to?” she asks, shaking her head.

“It was very patriotic and it would have gotten even the Yanks cheering for England, especially if you jiggled a little, but that’s the past. We’re moving on to the future. So, in order to make this episode of the Chapel Show that little bit more memorable, and to make our World Cup experience that much greater, I’ve got a very special guest star. I’ve search high and low for this one, and I had to call in a serious favour to get him, but he’s agreed to watch the games with us today,” Nate says excitedly. They walk around the front of a bar and walk inside. The camera takes a second or two to adjust to the light in the bar but when it does we see Lexy looking around expectedly. “Ok, you ready for this?”

“I’m curious what poor asshole you managed to trick in to watching football with us,” Lexy says with a laugh. “Seriously, he has no idea what he’s in for. You’ll have him playing all kinds of crazy party games before long. This poor guy has no idea who he’s in for. So, who’s it going to be?”

“Well, you know I went to uni with Jacob Knight, right?” Nate says with anticipation.

“Oh god, not that idiot,” Lexy mutters under her breath. “Seriously, the last time we hung out with him he kept trying to sniff me. I swear it’s like he’s not even— oh god, it’s him, isn’t it?”

“Err...” Nate says before pointing over toward the bar. We see a guy waving at the camera who wrestling purists may know as Jacob Knight, member of the Knight family, a family of English wrestlers who obviously have ties in the past to our stars. “...well...”

“I thought you said I was going to enjoy today,” she mutters again. “Seriously, why did it have to be Jacob?”

“Well he’d only agree to bring Lucas if he came too,” Nate says apologetically.

“No way, LUCAS KNIGHT is here?” Lexy asks excitedly. “Oh my god, no way! He’s like my second favourite wrestler!”

“Yeah, ok, but nobody wants to hear more stories about Jonathan fucking Collins,” Nate says before letting out a sigh. “So when you meet Lucas, just tell him he’s your favourite...”

“Who’s her favourite?” Jacob asks, looking at the two of them excitedly. “Oh wow, are you filming this? Am I going to be on the Chapel Show?”

“Ugh, hopefully not with creative editing,” Lexy mumbles. The camera picks it up, but Jacob clearly doesn’t. “And Nate was just telling me not to say that Jonathan—”

“—Creek is her favourite TV detective,” Nate finishes for her. “She loves the guy. I think it’s the curly hair. Personally I think there are much better TV detectives, but there’s no convincing the missus. You know how women can be, right mate?”

“He doesn’t talk to many women mate,” says another voice from behind them. Lexy and Nate both spin around, and Lexy lets out a girly scream in excitement. “Hi. I’m L—”

“You’re LUCAS KNIGHT,” Lexy screams happily, hugging him tightly. “Oh my god, he’s really here! This is so amazing! I haven’t seen you since I was a little girl. Oh wow, you’re way bigger than I thought you’d be. Have you been working out? Oh, duh, OF COURSE you’ve been working out, you’re LUCAS KNIGHT!”

She squeals again excitedly and Lucas just looks at Nate behind the camera. “She gets like this around famous people,” Nate says casually. “She’ll calm down in a minute.”

We cut to a short time later. It’s unclear exactly how much time has passed but we now see Lexy sitting next to Lucas in a booth and staring at him admiringly, clearly following along with everything he says intently. On the other side of the booth Nate seems to be alone, nursing a beer, still filming. “And let’s just say that after that I decided I was never supporting Greece again,” Lucas says before laughing. Lexy starts laughing too, a seemingly inappropriately amount harder than Lucas was at his own story. Lucas looks at Nate again with a raised eyebrow. “I thought you said she’d calm down.”

“She normally does,” Nate says with a curious look. “You ok babe?”

“I can’t stop myself,” she mutters across the table to Nate. “I seriously can’t stop. I think there’s something wrong with me...”

“We could switch places if that’ll help,” Nate suggests and Lexy glares at him.

“No,” she replies sternly before shaking her head. “I mean... oh god, what the hell is wrong with me? Why do I have to be such a fan-girl? It’s just... I remember meeting you when I was really young. You weren’t wrestling then. It was just a party at your dad’s house and—”

“Oh yeah, the summer barbeque?” he asks with a nod. “Sure, I remember that. Damn, you were young then. How old were you?”

“I think I was like five, maybe six,” Lexy says excitedly. “You seemed SO amazing back then! I mean EVERYONE said you were going to be SUCH a big star. My dad was talking you up all the time. And now look at you. You’re Lucas fucking Knight!”

“Yeah, I remember that party,” Lucas says with a nod. “I remember there was one girl, she was only about five or six as well, and she got really upset that her parents weren’t paying attention to her so she stripped off all her clothes and started running around the yard screaming. That was you, wasn’t it?”

“Err...” Lexy mutters, going bright red in embarrassment and Nate begins laughing.

“Oh, so that was you,” Lucas says, laughing again.

“Oh wow, you little attention whore,” he says, laughing even harder. “Yeah, well, Lexy does like getting her kit off when the job calls for it.”

“No I don’t,” Lexy replies, shaking her head desperately and looking up at Lucas again. “I don’t, I swear!”

“Ha, you got any more stories mate?” Nate asks happily. “This is turning out better than I thought. The fans demand to know!”

“Hmm, more stories,” Lucas asks, pondering for a moment. “Well, I wasn’t in on this one but I remember my dad told me that one of his friends came to him for advice one time after they caught they daughter playing strip poker with a bunch of guys from her school...”

 Lexy gets even redder and buries her head in her hands. “Oh god...”

“And you were the one they caught masturbating on a Channel 4 documentary, right?” Lucas asks and Lexy almost tries to slide under the table in embarrassment.

“In my defence, they didn’t CATCH me,” she mutters, trying desperately to hide. “I mean it’s not like they really SAW anything.”

“Wow, you’re even more of a little slut that I knew,” Nate says happily. “Oh, you know what, since Lexy loves getting her kit off so badly, this gives me an amazing idea...”

“I do not love getting my kit off,” Lexy shoots back defensively. “Those were... isolated incidents! And I swear I was only playing with those guys because they threatened to tell my dad about me and Bobby Blake in the bike sheds.”

“What did you do with Bobby Blake in the bike sheds?” Nate asks, curiously, still laughing from before. “Hmm, we discussed lists, I’m pretty sure he wasn’t on your list.”

“He’s NOT on my list because I never had SEX with him,” she says in her own defence again. “We were doing... other stuff. What? It was my first time doing that and how was I supposed to know they’d all walk in?”

Nate continues laughing before turning the camera on himself and grinning at it happily. “Now you can see why I love her so much, she’s just a kinky little thing, isn’t she?” he asks before she obviously kicks him under the table and he cries out in pain, turning the camera back over to a very embarrassed Lexy who looks like she’s hoping the world will open up and swallow her. “Well, since Lexy’s already embarrassed enough, I’ve got a great idea. I mean, we all love football, right? We can all agree on that. But you know what football lacks? Cheerleaders! If there’s one thing that men love more than the beautiful game, its beautiful women. And so I have an idea that can combine the two. It’s a revolutionary idea, and it starts here today. I call it... the Strip World Cup!”

“Oh god, it had to be strip something, didn’t it?” Lexy asks, rolling her eyes and looking at Lucas. “Did you know he made me play strip buggy instead of punch buggy on our last road trip? He’s obsessed with stripping games. You’re not though, right? There’s no way you’d seriously agree to this?”

We cut from the bar they were sitting in back to the Chapel apartment, where we see Lexy sitting with no shoes on and no skirt while Lucas has a beer in his hand and a smile on his face. In the middle of the room there is a small pile of items of clothing including what looks like the hat Lucas was wearing at the bar, Nate’s shoes and Lexy’s shoes, skirt, jacket and bracelet. She looks up at the camera and scowls at it. “I hate you so much right now.”

Nate turns the camera back to himself and grins at it happily. “Strip World Cup – GREATEST IDEA EVER!”

We cut to a little later in the evening. The camera is no longer in anyone’s hand and seems to just be left on the side filming. Lucas and Nate are both sitting on the couch screaming at the television with every touch of the ball, and both throwing their hands up as Lexy looks at the camera and sighs. “Ok, so, until someone else scores again let me give you a quick recap of how we got to here. Jacob got in a fight at the bar and got us kicked out, so Nate decided he didn’t want the party to end and invited Lucas back here. I still can’t believe I’m hanging out with Lucas Knight though, this is so cool,” she says like a fan-girl again before shaking her head. “No. C’mon Lexy, you can do this. You can be mature. So, where was I? Oh, right, Nate invited Lucas back here, and between them they’ve drawn up the ‘official rules’ for Strip World Cup. I think basically the idea they’ve got is that anything that means that if they can think of a rule that means I lose some clothing, they’re doing it.”

“Oh c’mon,” Nate shouts at the TV before taking another sip of beer.

Lexy just laughs again. “I’ve got to admit though,” she says to the camera before smiling a little, “as crazy as this is, it’s also kind of fun. And it’s harmless fun, right? I mean, the game is kind of slow at the moment, so it’s not like they’re going to—”

“GOAL,” Nate screams, leaping up from the sofa in celebration.

“Fuck,” Lexy mutters, bowing her head.

Nate rushes over to her and pulls her up from where she’s sitting, taking the glass of wine she has in her hands and twirling her around. “You know what this means babe,” he says excitedly, sitting back down and grabbing his beer before picking up a remote control and hitting a button. Suddenly ‘You Can Leave Your Hat On’ by Tom Jones blares out of the sound system and Nate starts grinning. “C’mon babe, take it off!”

“I’ve NEVER seen you care this much about a goal,” she mutters as the music continues playing.

“She doesn’t actually have to—” Lucas begins before Nate stops him.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, a bet is a bet,” he says with the grin on his face getting wider. “C’mon on babe, you know what we want to see. She’s actually a really great dancer.”

Lexy begins dancing to the music, glaring at Nate at first before beginning to get in to it a little more. Nate cheers happily as she twirls around before slowly beginning to pull her top up, leaving her in only her bra and panties. She flicks the top at Lucas before flipping off Nate who just laughs hysterically and turns the music off. “I can’t believe you’re making me do this...”

“Can you even IMAGINE how much fun the next goal is going to be?” Nate asks excitedly before taking another sip of his beer. Lucas just looks at them both and rolls his eyes.

“You two are nuts,” he says, taking Lexy’s shirt and putting it in the pile of clothes.

We cut to a short time later now. Lexy is now sitting topless in her chair as Nate is laughing to himself happily. All three of them seem to be pretty drunk by this point. Nate and Lucas have both lost clothes as well now and are both sitting topless. Nate jumps up from the couch and grabs the empty beer bottles from the table in front of them before smirking at Lexy. “This is by far the greatest idea I’ve ever had,” he says happily. “You ok over there babe?”

“I can’t believe I’m half-naked in front of Lucas Knight,” she mutters. “This is beyond embarrassing... besides, you think EVERY idea you have is the best one you’ve ever had.”

“Sure, but when it involves beer, football and you getting naked it really IS the greatest idea I’ve ever had,” he says happily before leaning over and kissing her. “And don’t pretend you’re not having fun.”

“Yeah, well, it won’t be so funny if you’re the one getting naked,” she mutters, glaring at the television like she’s willing her team to score. “C’mon, just a few more goals, it’s not like they can even defend. Go for the jugular!”

“I’m telling you, Strip World Cup will bring nations together in support of each other. I should be nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize for this, its genius,” Nate says happily before looking over at Lucas. “You want another beer mate?”

“What the hell, sure,” Lucas replies, nodding appreciatively. Once Nate is out of the room he leans over toward Lexy. “You know its ok, if they score again you don’t have to get your knickers off love, I can see you’re already embarrassed enough.”

“Thanks, I think,” Lexy mutters and pouts. Suddenly though a smirk comes across her face like she’s just had an idea to get her own back! She leans over toward Lucas and looks over toward where Nate has presumably gone before speaking quietly to him. “You know, I don’t want to take my knickers off, I want you to take them off. I’ve always wanted you to take them off. Why do you think I was so excited to meet you? You’re on my list...”

Lucas swallows hard, looking a little uneasy. “Err, list?”

“Yeah, my list,” Lexy says sexily, licking her lips while looking at him. “You know, the list you make with five people you’re allowed to sleep with without your husband being able to do anything about it. You’re not only on my list, you’re number one. I want you and Nate inside me at the same time...”

Lucas clears his throat and looks at her nervously. Nate walks back in to the room and Lexy shifts back to where she was. Nate hands her a glass of wine and she moves her arm to keep her breasts covered before taking it. “There you go babe,” Nate says happily. “So, anything exciting happen while I was gone?”

Lucas shakes his head. “Not really,” he says in a hushed, less excited tone now. Lexy looks over at him and winks. He takes another sip of his beer before she looks at the camera and grins proudly; obviously content she’s got her own back on the two guys, especially now Lucas seems considerably less excited about the whole thing.

We cut to a little later on now as well where Nate shuts the door to the apartment and walks back over to where Lexy is sitting with a smirk on her face. “So, the first edition of the Strip World Cup ends without me getting naked,” she says happily. “That’s one small mercy at least. We’re not doing this again tomorrow, right?”

“We’re doing this again every day the World Cup is on,” he says with a smirk. “That’s the point. The rules need a little work though. I think we should limit it to six items of clothing a day. Oh yeah, and do you know what happened to Lucas? He seemed weird at the end there.”

“No idea,” Lexy tells him innocently before smiling to herself again. “Maybe he was just embarrassed. I mean, we are pretty special, don’t you think?”

“You’re special,” Nate tells her happily. “You’re the greatest wife in the world. Maybe that’s what’s up with him. I mean the guy has had more wives than Henry the bloody Eighth. Maybe he was just weirded out by the way we are.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Lexy says, grinning to herself again and smiling at the camera.

We cut back to the Chapel apartment in Anaheim, California, where we find Lexy Chapel is now sitting on the couch with her legs tucked under her. The EXODUS Pro International Championship can be seen lying next to her on the couch as well as she sits there facing the camera with a little embarrassed grin. “So, yeah... I know I said that life is about fun but sometimes you’ve got to suffer a little to have a good time. And ok, so England lost – in fact England got knocked out of the World Cup with two straight losses, which believe me is incredibly embarrassing if you’re a English fan – but we still had fun, and there’s still a lot more fun to be had. The World Cup isn’t over, and neither is the Strip World Cup. As we progress in to the later rounds things will get even more exciting there. But I don’t need to progress anywhere to get excitement in my career right now. My career already has all the excitement, all the adventure, all the intrigue I could ever ask for, and it also has more than just a few challenges as well. Other people may be worried about that. They might let a few negatives get them down. They might panic or wonder why it is that they’ve been thrown in to the deep end so often. I’ll be honest with you, right now in this war against Gods & Monsters I feel like I’ve been thrown in to the deep end. I felt like that last week when I got banded up alongside the EXODUS Seikigun, I felt like that when I got put across the ring from some of the very best in the company. I felt like I’d fallen into deep water, and I was afraid I couldn’t swim.”

She smiles a little at the camera. “Did I ever tell you guys the story about my swimming lessons when I was younger?” she asks before shaking her head. “I know I’ve told you guys a few stories by now, but I’m not sure I’ve ever told you that one in particular. So, I’ll tell you now. When I was a little girl I hated the water. I don’t really know what it was about it; I just genuinely hated getting wet. I didn’t even like getting in the bath, I hated it that much. I remember how much of a fight I’d put up with my mum whenever she’d tell me that it was bath time. I just didn’t want to have to get in there, so swimming? No way, I was not about to start swimming. My older brothers always loved it though, and my dad wanted to take us to swimming pools during the summer, when he was competing less frequently and spending more time with us. So he started taking me down to the local leisure centre and he told me that I had no say in any of it, I had to learn to swim. I remember looking up at him and I remember asking him ‘why?’ I mean, I thought it was a pretty valid question. It’s not like water was going to rush down the streets of London anytime soon, right? It’s not like there was any desperate impending catastrophe that meant that if I didn’t know how to swim I’d somehow be doomed and left behind. And it’s not like swimming was necessarily a great, fun thing to do. I wasn’t exactly a happy little girl when it came to the way I looked. I felt a little fat. I HATED wearing swimming costumes. Basically, everything just combined to the point that I did NOT want to swim.”

“So, I asked my dad why, and he looked straight at me and he told me that ‘learning to swim is one of the challenges you’ve got to go through. It’s more important than you know’. I shook my head. I didn’t believe him at all. Why should I have to go through this challenge, right? It wasn’t important. I mean, I was just a little kid, I couldn’t understand at the time the chance of me falling in to a river as I got older, or the fact that it would make it seriously dangerous to ever go on a boat if I couldn’t swim. I couldn’t understand anything that was going to happen to me in the future at that point, I just saw something I did not want to do and I couldn’t see a reason for it, so I denied him. I shook my head. I stomped my feet. I did everything I could to tell him no,” she says, laughing a little at the memory. “My dad though, he never took no for an answer. He took me to the pool and he got me changed in to my little swimming costume and he blew up these giant orange floats that he blew up and he slipped one over each of my arms. I knew what was going to happen, but I still had a plan. See, four year old Lexy was smart! She wasn’t about to take this shit from her dad! So I told him that I couldn’t get in the water, because the water hurt my eyes. Genius, right? He wouldn’t make me go swimming if he thought it was going to cause me pain. Oh yeah, smart little four year old Lexy... only, as it turns out, he’d thought of that and he pulled out some goggles and he fitted them around my head and he told me that they’d protect me from the water. I was foiled, and was not happy.”

She laughs again, shaking her head slowly. “Oh man, I remember that day so well. I think I even grabbed hold of the frame of the door as he was trying to take me out of the locker room. He had to literally drag me out of that locker room kicking and screaming and causing all kinds of fuss. It’s not like he couldn’t do it though, I was tiny and the guy was a professional wrestler. I have no idea why I thought my tiny little fingers could stop him, but I did. So he takes me to the pool and he takes me to the shallow end and he puts me down and he walks in and he tells me to join him. I’m standing there shaking my head and refusing. No way am I getting in that water. So he comes back out of the water, he scoops me up and he carries me in to the water with him. He puts me down in the water and it’s only up to my waist, but I hated it. I wanted to get out so badly, but he wouldn’t let me. He told me ‘Alexandra, you’re going to learn to swim’. I tried to resist, but... well, what could I really do? So by the end of the day I’m kicking my little legs and I’m trying my hardest, but basically the only thing keeping me afloat are these two huge armbands on me. He told me that naturally I would be able to float if I didn’t fight it, but I didn’t want to be in there anyway, I didn’t want to be getting wet at all, of course I’m going to fight it! So by the end of the first day he’s taught me the basics, and I think it’s over forever, but the next week we’re back in that damn pool again. Over time I got used to the water a little bit, I stopped putting up quite so much of a fight, but I still didn’t want to be there.”

“It must have been about two months that he took me to that pool every week until I could kick my legs and I felt confident. He must have been pretty sure I could do it as well, but I was still sure the only reason I could swim at all were those armbands. He told me one time to try taking them off. I looked at him like he was trying to kill me. Seriously, four years old and I thought my own dad was trying to kill me! No way was I taking them off. He tried to make me but this time I really wouldn’t do it. No way. Those things were staying on me whenever I was around the water. He told me I didn’t need them. I said I did. Back then I was so small I thought that swallowing water was what killed you, and I told him I didn’t want to swallow the nasty tasting water and die. I guess after a little while he accepted that, or at least I thought he had. He took me out of the water, he gave me my towel, he told me how good I’d done, he told me that I didn’t need the armbands but I held on to them tightly. God I felt like I needed those things. Eventually he coaxed them out of my grip. He promised me he’d never let anything bad happen to me. And then... he pushed me in the deep end,” she says, beginning to laugh. “I’ve been scared a lot in my life. I’ve done some truly terrifying things. When my dad pushed me in to that pool it still remains the single most terrifying thing that’s ever happened to me. I was four years old and in my mind my own dad actually tried to kill me. I didn’t even have my armbands. But here’s the thing about it... he was right. I didn’t need them.”

“When I was fourteen I was back in that pool again and I won a local swimming contest. Oh man, I was so proud of that. My dad was there as well, cheering me on, telling everyone that he taught me to swim in that very same pool. And maybe his teaching methods weren’t the greatest but he had faith in me and he knew I could do it on my own, he knew I didn’t need anything to help me, but he was still right there, still ready to help me if I did get in trouble. My dad taught me that sometimes, in order to overcome our fears, we’ve got to just jump in the deep end without any support. Sometimes, in order to overcome our fears, we’ve got to do crazy things we promise ourselves we’ll never do. Sometimes, even when you know you’re out of your depth, you only REALLY find out about yourself when you’re put in that sink-or-swim situation. Well, when I was four years old I swam. And last week in Kyoto I was in that position again, sink-or-swim, and once again I swam. We all did,” she says proudly. “I didn’t ask to be part of the Seikigun. I didn’t run up to Jon Collins and beg him to let me in. In fact, honesty, I could have gone on with my life quite happily watching from the sidelines and doing what I’d always done, cheering him on, cheering on the good guys in the battle against the bad guys, without ever having to get involved. I didn’t want to get involved, but I am involved whether I like it or not. I’m the EXODUS Pro International Champion. I’m one of the good guys. And that means when it comes to the fight against evil, I’m on the side that fights for what’s right!”

“Of course if you listen to them, if you listen to Gods & Monsters, then they’re the side that fights for what’s right,” she says, letting out a sigh and shaking her head slowly. You can tell from the expression on her face and the negative way in which she’s shaking her head that she doesn’t believe that though, even for a moment. “I shouldn’t be surprised that that’s what they want to tell me. I shouldn’t be surprised that that’s their message. They claim that they’re not the bad guys at all, that they’re just misunderstood, that it’s everyone else who’s wrong... yeah, well Hitler said the same thing about the Nazi’s once upon a time as well. Just because you say you’re fighting for the side of good, just because you say you’re doing the right thing, it doesn’t mean that you are! Gods & Monsters hurt people. You assholes tried to hurt me, remember? You think I’ve forgotten that? You think I’ve forgotten what Jerry Matthews did to me? Oh, what, he was just a bad egg? He didn’t represent what you’re really all about? Yeah, bullshit! I know exactly what you guys are about because you’re about the same things that all super evil groups of doom are about, and in case you guys have forgotten I may be fresh-faced around here, I may be just a kid, I might not even be legally allowed to have any alcohol for a couple more months but I’m not an idiot! My family have been around this business for a long time. I’ve been around this business since I was just a little girl. I’ve seen your kind before. And your kind always says and always does the very same things.”

“You think you guys are misunderstood? You think you guys are fighting for truth? No. I know what you’re fighting for, and it sure as hell isn’t anything like the propaganda wants us to believe. You guys are out for one thing and one thing alone, and that’s yourselves! You don’t care who you step on. You don’t care who you crush underfoot. You don’t care about me, about my husband, about our dreams, about what we want out of this business. You want to talk about truth? Ok, here’s some truth. Last week Christum Furor threatened my husband. He told me that he’d do anything, he’d go to any place, and that I wouldn’t. He told me he’d hurt my husband if it meant that he could get his hand raised in victory, if it meant that in the end he’d win. And maybe he was right about a lot of that, maybe he was right about his lack of boundaries, maybe he would attack Nate – a helpless guy who’s still got back to full fitness again after almost dying and a back injury that could have ended his career – but just because he makes these threats against me doesn’t mean I’m going to cower away,” she says defiantly. “But all of that doesn’t make you guys the bad guys, right? Because what you guys want is for me to see the truth, right? Yeah, that’s not happening. I’ve seen the truth. I know what you guys are. Like I said, I’m not naive. I’ve seen your kind before. You’re the kind that group together because there’s strength in numbers. You’re the kind who uses gang-warfare when you can’t get the job done individually. You all sell your souls to Christum Furor, and you believe you’ve got good reason?”

She laughs and shakes her head with a very disapproving look on her face. “No, you don’t. Sally Talfourd especially doesn’t. Look, I’m not going to pretend to know what really happened between you and Fiona Collins. I’m not going to pretend that I understand it all. I wasn’t part of it. I wasn’t involved. All I know is what I’m told from various different sides. And I’m not going to buy in to every word that Jon tells me about it all just because it’s Jon, but neither am I going to buy in to every word you tell me either Sally. You’ve both got different agendas. You’re both standing on different sides. And Fiona hurt you, right? Fiona took something away from you. Fiona beat you down. And you’re bitter. You’re angry. Your ego is damaged. You want to get revenge on her, and on Jon. You feel like Jon betrayed you, right? And because he betrayed you he’s going to betray me as well, because I’m disposable, because I’m nothing, because you and are ‘just the same’. That’s your big message for me this week, huh?” she asks before shaking her head again. “Wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong and a thousand more wrongs! You and I, Sally? We’re NOT the same! Ok, our careers may be going down a similar path right now, you may have started off as the hot, undefeated talent with the world at your feet. You may have had all the success early on until you came up against a challenge you couldn’t overcome. You may have been many things Sally, and our careers may have been very similar up to a point, but here’s a little secret for you: just because we’ve had similar careers doesn’t mean you know a DAMN THING ABOUT ME!”

“You think you know me Sally?” she asks, shaking her head adamantly. “No. You know things about me, sure. You know who I’m friends with. You know the success I’ve had so far. But you don’t know ANYTHING about ME! You don’t know what’s in my heart. You don’t know what’s in my soul. You don’t know how much I feed off those people chanting my name. You don’t know how honoured I am – HONOURED Sally – to go out there and fight alongside people I ADMIRE! You want to tell me that we’re just the same? We couldn’t be more different! I look at you and I see someone who had the potential to become one of the GREATEST in this company. I know Fiona hurt you, I know she beat you, but honestly Sally there’s no way that should have stopped you. You were INCREDIBLE! You could have come back from that. You could have come back with those people behind you, you could have come back and fought for your spot, you could have proved to everyone that Sally Talfourd wouldn’t ever give up, that she wouldn’t ever stay down, that she has more fight in her than anyone gives her credit for. You could have risen up Sally and you could have shown the world how GREAT you could be... but you didn’t. You sold out. And you think that makes us the same? You say you used to be just like me, but if you were ANYTHING like me then you’d know that I would NEVER sell out what I am! And what I am Sally, it goes so far beyond a friend to Jonathan Collins, an admirer of Fiona Collins, and a part of the EXODUS Seikigun. What I am is a WARRIOR who fights for what she believes in!”

“You think Gods & Monsters is about knocking down walls? You were right about one thing. Christum Furor does have a silver tongue, and he’s used that silver tongue on you, probably in more ways than one. He’s got you all knotted up. He’s got you all confused. He’s made you forget everything that you used to be. Because this girl standing with them, this girl who NOW claims to be Sally Talfourd, this isn’t you! I didn’t know you. I didn’t fight alongside you. I won’t claim that I understood you. But if you did indeed used to be like me then you used to have faith and belief not only in your friends but in yourself. What happened to that Sally? What happened to believing in yourself?” she asks before shaking her head, a sad expression on her face. “If you and I were truly anything alike then you’d know you can’t corrupt me. I’ve heard the lies Sally. I’ve heard the propaganda. You think Christum Furor is the first one to ever say the things he says? There have always been people like him in this business. There have always been people like him who use those around them. He’s using you Sally. I know you don’t want to believe that. I know you think he’s set you free. But take a look at the history of Gods & Monsters and tell me how many of his former ‘brothers’ and ‘sisters’ remain with him today? He uses people until he uses up everything they have, and then he casts them aside. That’s what evil men do. But you’re angry. You’re bitter. You feel betrayed. And you’ve allowed that anger to consume the good in you. You said you wouldn’t insult me by telling me you pitied me. Well I pity you.”

“But I sense you don’t want my pity. That’s the last thing you want, isn’t it? You don’t want me pitying you, you want to show me how much better you are now you’re with them, am I right? You sold your soul to a man like Christum Furor; I sure as hell hope you got a good deal for it. I hope he’s made you stronger than you’ve ever been Sally I really do, because you say you used to be just like me, well this week you’ve got to FIGHT me. And I won’t need Jon or Fiona to come to my rescue. I didn’t join the EXODUS Seikigun because I wanted friends to watch my back, I joined and I fought with them because it was the RIGHT THING TO DO! And I need to show you that Sally. I need to show you that, because while you want me to sell out everything I am to join you, I want to remind you of everything you USED TO BE! And I don’t think I can save you, but I’m determined to do whatever I can to help you save yourself. And here’s the thing about this week, because this week you can try to break me if you want to. You can try to hurt me. You can leave me in pain in that ring. You and the rest of them can do whatever you want to me, but I won’t give you the satisfaction of letting it break me. The message of the week is I am what you used to be, but this week the question becomes are you stronger than you were, or weaker for what you’ve become? Last week I was thrown into deep water. I didn’t sink, I swam. This week I’m in deep water again, but my father taught me how to be strong and believe in myself, and this week I’m going to swim once again. Maybe I am what you once were, but I intend to become what you could never be. Remember that Sally. Remember that as this week good overcomes evil once again.”

She stops and picks up the EXODUS Pro International title and places it across her shoulder, smiling at it happily for a moment before looking back toward the camera. “It’s going to be a tough week this week without doubt, but I have faith in myself and my own abilities. If Sally Talfourd becomes the first person to beat me then it will be an honour to be beaten by someone as good as she is, but I don’t plan to let that happen. I love this sport. I love this company. And as naive as it may be I still believe in the good in people. Gods & Monsters represents the evil side of this business, and that’s why I’m opposing them. Not because Jon told me to. Not because he’s manipulated me. Because it’s who I am! Because it’s what I believe,” she says before beginning to smile again. “But I believe more than just that. I also believe that this week I’ll be back competing in Japan again, and I believe that if you like what you saw in this video, you’ve really only got one thing to do. See that button down there? Click to like us! Click to tell the world that the Chapel Show is what fun in the world is. And don’t forget to subscribe as well. Oh, and leave a comment, talk to us on Twitter, and don’t forget to play Strip World Cup! It’s sweeping the nation... maybe. As always, I’ve been Lexy Chapel, a newly created ginger who’s retained her soul, and this has been another episode of the Chapel Show. Until next time, fuckers!”

She winks at the camera again before flicking her hair forward over her eyes and pointing to it like she’s shocked to see it’s really red. The Chapel Show logo flashes up on the screen as the video begins to fade out, and after a few seconds comes to its conclusion as the replay button flashes up on the screen.