THE CHAPEL SHOW
Episode: S01E18
Date: 20/09/2014

The video begins and we see the Chapel Show logo flash up on the screen. After a few seconds the logo fades away to reveal the inside of the Chapel’s apartment in Anaheim, California. On the table in the middle of the shot is the EXODUS Pro International Championship. The title belt itself almost seems to sparkle as the light hits it. The camera remains focused on the championship for the longest time before we see Lexy Chapel step in to the shot behind the title belt. She looks down at it for a moment and then back up in to the camera. She’s dressed in a pair of skinny jeans and a tank top that reads ‘CUDDLING’ in huge letters, and underneath ‘I Like That Shit’. She smiles confidently. “What’s up fuckers? I’m Lexy Chapel and I’m not a lesbian, but I will go gay for pay,” she says before nodding her head slowly, a sly smile slowly spreading across her face. “Welcome once again to the Chapel Show. Its episode eighteen, can you believe that? I can’t believe its September, especially when you consider that we started bringing you lovely EXODUS peeps the Chapel Show back in January. That’s kind of crazy to me. You guys might not know this about me but back home, when I was a little younger, I had something of a reputation. And I know, considering the way I dress and some of the things I say you’re probably thinking ‘yeah Lexy, we know that already’ but that’s not the reputation I was talking about. The reputation I’m talking about is one that I never finish anything that I start.”

She pauses for a moment, nodding her head softly as though confirming that statement. “It’s true. My whole life that’s one thing that people have said about me over and over! It used to be that I’d come up with an amazing idea, something that I desperately felt like I wanted to do, and I’d tell everyone that that was going to be my new life’s ambition. I got so sure about it as well, like absolutely certain that this new goal in my life was the thing that I was put on the earth to do. I remember one time, I was fifteen, and I got involved with a group called the Cats Protection League. It was a great charity who, unsurprisingly based on their name, used to protect cats. They’d take in stray cats and spay and neuter them, they’d re-home cats and kittens that were unwanted by their owners, it was a really get charity and when I first started working with them I thought for sure that I’d found something that I wanted to dedicate my life to because, you know, I love cats. I do. I know Captain Woofers may not want to hear that, but it’s true,” she says before pausing and lowering her head a little, like she’s a little ashamed. “I volunteered with them for four weeks, and after that I never went back again. And it wasn’t that the work was necessarily hard or unrewarding, or that I stopped caring about the cats, or anything else really... I just kind of lost interest in it and I never went back there again. Four weeks. I remember that it was four weeks because my mum reminded me of it so many times after that.”

She laughs and shakes her head. “That was the first time I really thought I’d found the thing I was going to commit to, but it didn’t last. It was the first time, but it really wasn’t anything close to the last time. When I was sixteen I got involved in a peace group. They’d existed for years before but considering the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, considering the number of British soldiers who were dying over there, I thought that I needed to add my voice to the cause for protecting people, for standing up to the government, I felt like I needed to say something or do something to help bring about change. It wasn’t just those wars either, the group wanted to see a whole host of changes all of which I agreed with. They wanted to see the disarmament of the UK Trident programme, our Nuclear Weapons programme, and they wanted to see a change in our foreign policy such that we no longer supported what, at the time, I truly believed were unjust American wars based on little more than propaganda and greed,” she explains before letting out a long sigh. “In my defence with this one I really did feel like I was doing something good and something right and I stuck at it for three months. In that time I attended eight protests and two rallies I tried incredibly hard to get my dad to donate to the cause – of course he wouldn’t because he didn’t want to risk any publicity of associating his name with that – and I felt like I was doing the right thing. I felt like I was helping to change the world or something. Then after three months I got invited to a rally... and didn’t go.”

She laughs, looking like she’s thinking back to those days as she looks off in to the distance for a moment and then snaps back and looks in to the camera. “You know I think what I did that day, instead of going to a rally that was supposed to help change the future of the country and maybe even the future of the world, if you believed fully what the protestors claimed they were going to do, was go to the mall and buy shoes. So, you know, rather than help save the world I spent money on something I didn’t need, and pretty much became everything that for three months I claimed to stand against. In fairness though I mean I was sixteen, c’mon who doesn’t like shoes?” she asks before laughing and shaking her head again. “So, that’s something you probably didn’t know about me. Once again though it wasn’t the last thing that I swore I’d committed to only to bail on. After that I briefly got interested in politics and told people that I’d become a politician and change the world by using the system, rather than rebelling against it. I got interested in horse riding, but bailed on that one pretty quickly. I tried out a few different sports but always bailed on them before I’d even played one more than one game. Basically I spent a lot of my teenage years making promises that I was going to do something or become something that I never did. I started a LOT of different things and I never really finished any of them. And even today, when I think about it for a moment, I still think that’s true of me.”

She lets out another sigh. “I mean, look at this Monday night in San Diego for example. A few months ago Jonathan Collins tried to recruit me to stand with the EXODUS Sekigun, right? And I wanted to do that. I thought it was the right thing to do. Standing up to Gods & Monsters I definitely believed was the right thing to do. I mean you look at those people, you see the things they do, you hear the things they say and you just know that taking a stand against that is something that you should do. And to stand with Jonathan Collins, to stand with a guy I’ve spent my whole life idolising, a guy I’ve spent my whole career trying to be just a little something like? That was a dream come true! Yet this Monday night Chandler Scott, Chris Strike and Steve Lenton are joining him and where’s Lexy? What happened to Lexy? Is she main eventing a pay per view and doing the right thing? Nope, she’s half way down the card, fighting a match she’s already fought,” she says, looking away for a moment and biting her bottom lip. It’s difficult to tell just by her expression if she’s frustrated by that or ashamed by it. She runs her hand through her hair for a moment before letting out another sigh and looking back at the camera. “So, what more can I say about that? Hi, I’m Lexy Chapel and I don’t finish what I start. I begin to stand for something, then wander off and let other people finish for me. I get frustrated by it and leave. And in this case I think that’s what happened. I tried to do the right thing, got frustrated, and did something else.”

She lets out another long sigh before beginning to laugh again. “So, this Sunday in San Diego I’m fighting the good fight, I’m not standing up for anything, I’m just busy being Lexy Chapel and part of me is really ashamed by that. Part of me thinks that I’ve taken a wrong path somewhere along the way. And every week right now you guys cheer me, but at the last show I didn’t feel like I really deserved those cheers anymore. And this feeling isn’t born from frustration of not being part of that, it’s actually kind of born from the feeling of being happy that I’m not part of it,” she admits before letting out a shameful little sigh and looking away again. “You know they say if you don’t stand for something you fall for anything. Maybe that’s true. Maybe I do fall for anything. But maybe I’m just not the girl that I wanted to be. Maybe I’m not the one who fights the fight against all the evils of the world. Maybe I don’t have that strength. Maybe I don’t have that selflessness. Or maybe it’s because there’s a little part of me that wants no part of it. I love Jonathan, ok? I do. I’ve spent the last nine months in his company trying to be just like him, trying to be the kind of person that he’d respect, trying to fight the fights that I think he’d want me to fight... but maybe I can’t fight those for him. Maybe I need to fight for myself, you know? There so many things that I’ve started and that I’m actually a little ashamed not to have finished, but there’s one thing different to that. This!”

She lays both hands on the International title in front of her. “There are so many things that I’ve started and I’ve given up on, but this is one thing I’m never giving up on. Does that make me selfish?” she asks, biting her bottom lip and pondering that thought for a moment before nodding her head softly. “Yeah, maybe it does. And you know what? I guess I’m selfish then. Because in my whole life I’ve always failed to follow through on everything until this championship belt in front of me, and this is one thing that I’ve NEVER given up on. No matter how tough the going has gotten I’ve NEVER given up on it. And the last few months have been tough. Ever since I beat Jonathan Collins, ever since I proved myself to him, ever since I took a step up from the bottom to... err... whatever the level one above the bottom is... it’s been insanely tough for me. First came Kerry Windsor at Ascendency, then came Johnny Cannon on EXPRO on FX, and now once again at Long Way Down I’ve got Kerry Windsor again, another former World Champion – not here but elsewhere – coming for the International Championship, a man who pushed me beyond my limits last time to the point that I was literally unable to compete after somehow finding a way to win that match. It’s been tough, and there’s this little part of me right now that wonders if I can keep going, this little part that says maybe if I lose I can just walk away, I can take some time for me, I can find something else to dedicate my life to like I’ve done so many times before...”

She lets out another long sigh. “I could, you know? It would be easy. I could just walk away, right? Because the challenges aren’t ever going to stop! I’m going to have to defend this title over and over and over again. I mean, even when I give everything I have and I somehow survive one fight, apparently now I know that I’ll have to prepare myself for when they come back around and get another opportunity. It would be so easy to just give up. It would be so simple to just walk away. I could do that. I could take the easy way out. I could what so many others have done before me and just walk away...” she says, trailing off at the end before tightening her grip on the International title in front of her. “My mom’s probably going to laugh at this the moment I say it, but for once in my life I’m finishing what I started. For one hundred and eighty days I’ve been the EXODUS PRO International Champion. For one hundred and eighty days I’ve given everything I have in the name of this title. On Monday night I could just give up and walk away, but I’m finishing what I started. That’s right mom, your little girl is FINALLY going to finish something. Speaking of finishing though, my International title reign isn’t the only thing that I thought I could be walking away from this week. See this week I thought I could be walking away from my marriage as well. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking... but Nate would never cheat on me, right? Would he? Do you want to know? Because I did! I needed to know. Enjoy the show guys...”

We cut from the lounge to the bedroom. We see Lexy lying in bed and we hear Nate’s voice behind the camera, talking quietly. “So it’s Friday morning, September 12th, and what you’re looking at is a very poorly little Lexy,” Nate says quietly. As if on cue we hear Lexy start coughing. “Say hi Lexy.”

“Don’t film me,” she mutters, pulling the sheets over her head. “People can’t see me like this, I’m dying...”

“You’re not dying babe, it’s just the flu,” he tells her reassuringly before sitting down on the bed next to her and rubbing her back supportively and then looking in to the camera again. “She’s really not well though. She’s been ill for a couple of days now, and I think she just needs some rest, so I’m going to leave her here and I’ll take you guys on a magical journey of my own, how’s that sound? This is going to be the week where you find out all about Nate Chapel!”

We cut from that short video clip to Lexy looking in to the camera oddly. She’s looking far better than she did when she was laying in the bed, implying that it’s been a least a couple of days and she’s no longer suffering from the flu. The look that she’s giving the camera though is one of complete puzzlement. “Ok, this is weird,” she tells the camera quietly. “So, I’ve been ill all weekend and most of last week as well. That’s why there have been no updates and no Tweeting – although I suck with keeping you guys up to date on Twitter anyway. I’ll try and work more on that, I promise. Maybe I’ll try and force myself to do a Tweet a day or something. You can get your Daily Dose of Lexy! Ooh, that could be a thing. But, err, there’s something that doesn’t make any sense to me. Every day that I’ve been in bed Nate’s been singing to himself in the mornings, he’s been showering and disappearing, and I figured that when I checked the cameras he’d have filmed HOURS of insane footage. I figured THAT was what was putting him in such a good mood. Only I just checked and there’s... nothing. And I don’t just mean ‘nothing good’ either. You guys should know something about our footage, right? The stuff you see on the Chapel Show is like one thousandth of all the crazy shit we film. And Nate is THE WORST at that. He films himself trying to cook food most days claiming he’s going to start a Chapel Cooking Show. He films himself strutting around naked and then makes me watch it when we’re putting the show together. He does crazy stuff all the time, but this week... nothing!”

She looks in confusion at the camera. “So if he’s not been filming, what HAS he been doing?” she asks nervously. She then spins around on the chair she’s sitting on and starts filming the apartment. “Notice anything? I know what you’re thinking. ‘No Lexy, there’s nothing here, what are we meant to be noticing?’ Well, THAT’S what you’re meant to be noticing. I mean you’ve seen this place normally, right? There are all kinds of junk all over the place normally. Hell there’s been the ‘Strip Football Official Rulebook’ on the wall for weeks while he worked on it, not to mention the dozens of sheets of paper that are normally around... but now there’s nothing. The place is actually TIDY! That means one of two things. Either my husband has been kidnapped by aliens and replaced by a cleaner version of himself – which would be pretty awesome actually, and I’d probably want to keep the weird alien imposter version, but that’s not the point – or Nate’s just... not... been... in the apartment. And if he’s not been in the apartment, where’s he been? I’ve got some pretty wild theories. One theory is that he’s finally gotten a job!”

She tries to look excited and then starts laughing and shaking her head. “I know, that’s even crazier than the alien abduction idea,” she says with a sigh. “So if it’s not that then... suggestions? I mean I don’t want to think what I’m thinking but... I can’t stop thinking it. Because Nate is kind of... horny... all the time! And I know I’ve been disgusting and flemmy and... yeah, just really not attractive at all! But he’s not tried anything in a while. I haven’t even caught him playing with himself. And he’s been singing a lot lately. Like, actually singing! And I know this sounds crazy but... what if he’s cheating on me?”

She pauses for a moment before shaking her head. “No, that’s stupid. He wouldn’t do that. Forget I said anything. But it’s just... I mean, he’s been acting really weird. He hasn’t told me where he’s been going. He’s been sneaking around. And I’m pretty sure he didn’t even come home on Saturday night. So... it’s crazy, right? We’re married, I love him and he loves me, but... I mean it’s not the craziest thing ever though, right? Guys do that stuff. Especially guys in wrestling! And it would explain his weird behaviour, it would explain his lack of interest in me, and not just while I was sick either. There’s something I haven’t told you guys and... Sometimes I feel like he’s not as in to me as he used to be. But he wouldn’t cheat on me,” she says, shaking her head defiantly before beginning to think about it more and letting out another long sigh. “Fuck you brain, why can’t I stop thinking about this. This is Nate we’re talking about. And what am I going to do? Should I ask him? Should I just confront him? Should I ask what he’s been doing and why he’s been lying to me about it? Should I ask him if he still finds me sexy? I should do that. I’m going to do that. I’m going to confront him. I’m going to just walk straight up to him and ask him outright what’s going on and why he’s been acting so weird. That’s what I’ll do. I’ll do it the moment he comes home.”

We cut from the apartment to the back seat of a car. It seems to be a taxi just based on the general look of the car. Lexy holds the camera pointed at herself and lets out a sigh. “Ok, so... I didn’t confront him,” she admits to the camera with a sigh. “I know, I know, I should have confronted him but I didn’t. He came home last night and he was singing again and practically fucking dancing, and when I tried to ask him what was going on he got all evasive and changed the subject. That’s definitely suspicious behaviour. I’m absolutely sure it’s not just paranoia anymore. So this morning when he got out of bed I did a bad thing...”

She turns the camera around and we see a car ahead of this one that is recognisable as the car we’ve seen the Chapels using in the past. “Yep, that’s right, one month of weird behaviour from my husband – getting progressively weirder admittedly – and about as long with him not being in to me as much anymore and I’ve turned in to a crazy stalker wife,” she admits, turning the camera around again so we can see her cringing. “God, what the hell is wrong with me? Am I really this insecure? I’m actually stalking my husband. I’m one of THOSE women. I can’t do this. Um... driver guy? Can you just take me—?”

“He’s pulling over,” the driver tells her. “What do you want me to do?”

“Um, I... pull over,” she says after hesitating for a moment. The car comes to a stop and we see the camera moving around inside the taxi before pointing across the street at Nate climbing out of the car. He looks around for a moment before walking to the trunk of the car and reaching inside and pulling something out. “Is that an overnight bag?”

As she continues filming we see a large breasted blonde woman run up to Nate and hug him excitedly. Nate puts the bag down and hugs her back. She then kisses him excitedly on the cheek. “Is that your husband?” the driver asks in the background.

“Yeah, that’s my husband,” Lexy mutters quietly. She continues filming the scene as the blonde and Nate are talking for a moment and then they start crossing the street, walking almost straight toward the taxi. Lexy panics and ducks down in the taxi. We can hear the conversation between Nate and the girl as they walk past the taxi however.

“So, are you ready for the greatest time of your life?” he asks excitedly.

“I still can’t believe we’re doing this,” the girl replies. She has a slight Alabaman accent. “What if someone finds out?”

“Trust me, I’ve been very careful,” he says excitedly. “Nobody knows. I’m trying to keep it that way as long as possible, because if anyone finds out about this it’ll ruin everything.”

“Oh, I won’t tell anyone,” she promises. “This is so exciting. It feels so dirty.”

“Yeah, I know, I never imagined doing anything like this. I can’t believe how much fun this is,” he says just before passing out of earshot.

After a few seconds Lexy turns the camera back around again from the darkness that she was filming. We see the taxi driver looking at her sympathetically. “I’m very sorry,” he tells her compassionately.

We cut from the back of a taxi to the outside of a building. The camera is moving a little and it seems like we’re on a fire escape. Lexy seems to be climbing up it. She stops for a moment and looks in to the camera. Her eyes are slightly reddened where it looks like she may have been crying. “Ok, so I followed them,” she says with a mix of nervousness and anger. “I don’t think they saw me. Well, I know Nate didn’t. I followed them down the street and they came in to this building and up to a room on the fifth floor. I’m going to try and get proof of what’s going on.”

She seems irrational, completely shaken and highly emotional. She almost starts crying again but shakes her head and holds it together. She then climbs up another flight on the fire escape and stops, pointing the camera at a slightly open window. Instead we can hear Nate talking. “Are you almost ready?” he asks. “We don’t have that long today. I think my wife is beginning to get suspicious.”

“You should just tell her,” the Alabaman girl tells him. “I mean, she’s going to find out eventually, right? You can’t hide it from her forever.”

“I know but... I haven’t figured out how to tell her yet,” Nate confides. “I wanted to tell her straight away, obviously. But when I tried to tell her I just... I couldn’t figure out the words. She has no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this. She’s been distracted a lot lately as well, I mean she takes her career really seriously and everything and that’s great, but it means she’s away a lot and... Well, that’s when this first started. She was out of town and I just felt like I needed to... And then I met you and... Well, this last week has been amazing.”

“I know,” the girl replied excitedly. “I can’t believe we’re really doing this at long last. We’ve talked about it so much; it feels great to finally do it.”

“Ok, so do you want to see it?” Nate asks excitedly. There’s a zipping sound and a shocked noise from the girl. “What? Tell me what you’re thinking...”

“It’s just... it’s SO BIG,” she says with surprise. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen one so big! I saw a black one which was pretty big before.”

“I know, but trust me, when it comes to certain things size really DOES matter,” Nate says proudly. “Do you think you can handle it?”

“Oh yeah, I can DEFINITELY handle it,” she says excitedly.

“Ok good, but we need to be careful. Can’t thrust too much or we might break something,” Nate says with a worried tone. “The last thing we need is to have to explain that.”

“Oh, don’t worry; I’ve hurt myself lots of times before. The worst part was trying to explain it to my mom, but at least that won’t be a problem anymore. Has your mom ever caught you? It can be so embarrassing, you just don’t know what to say,” the Alabaman girl said nervously. “I can’t wait until my mom finds out about this. She’s never going to believe it.”

“Ok, so, do you think you’re ready?” Nate asks excitedly.

“I’m definitely ready,” the girl says happily. “I’m so excited! What position do you want to try first?”

“Well I think first of all I’m just going to lay on my back,” Nate tells her. “I know how much fun you’re going to have, so I figured I’d just lay back and let you have fun.”

“Ok, I’m ready,” she says excitedly.

“Just start whenever,” Nate says happily.

“Oh yeah, that feels awesome,” the Alabaman girl moans happily. “Uh, oh, uh, uh, uh, yeah, take that...”

“Oh god, this is better than I imagined,” Nate exclaims happily.

Finally it seems like Lexy has had enough. Her hand is shaking, and as a result the camera is shaking as well. She finally steps toward the open window and then pauses suddenly. It takes the camera a moment to adjust to the darker room but when he does we see the blonde girl with a large silver sword in her hand swinging it around excitedly. She’s dressed in a very odd cheerleading outfit, nothing at all like she was wearing outside, that seems to be splattered with blood. Behind her is a large green screen. On the floor, on his back just as he said, and filming the whole scene is Nate. Lexy just stares in disbelief for a moment. “...what the fuck?”

Nate obviously hears her by the window and looks up in shock. “Lexy?” he asks before looking at the girl guiltily and then back at his wife again. “Oh shit, look, I can explain!”

“Ok, go over this one more time,” Lexy says, clearly still struggling to believe what she’s been told. The camera is sitting a few feet away from Lexy and we can see her legs in the shot along with Nate standing a few feet in front of her. “Just... start from the beginning so I can actually understand this. You’re making a movie?!”

“Yeah,” Nate tells her excitedly. “I’ve been planning it for weeks. You wouldn’t believe how tiring it’s been. I’ve been all over the place, trying to recruit people and arrange makeup, special effects, and everything else, but my biggest problem was that I couldn’t find anyone to star. And then I met Cookie.”

“Hi, I’m Cookie,” the girl says, waving at Lexy from the other side of the room.

“Of course you are...” Lexy mutters under her breath.

“Look, I wanted to tell you from the very beginning but I didn’t think you’d understand,” Nate says with a nervous smile. “I mean you’ve not exactly always believed in my movie ideas, and I thought for sure if I told you I was making ‘Zombocalypse’ that you wouldn’t understand, especially after the last version of the script...”

“The version which was basically a zombie porn movie...” Lexy mutters.

“It was NOT a zombie porn movie,” Nate replies defensively. “It was just a movie about a girl who realises that her vagina holds the key to the survival of—look, whatever, I changed the whole script anyway, it’s not even got the same plot anymore!”

“So what’s this one about?” Lexy asks nervously.

“Ok, well, this one is about a girl, played by Cookie, who’s on the run from zombies when she finds a magical sword which gives her the ability to fight the undead,” he explains happily. “We’ve been filming the first few scenes where she finds the sword and unlocks its mighty power.”

“It’s so big,” Cookie says proudly. “I thought it would be a lot heavier as well, but Nate says it’s made of special rubber that makes it ultra light, but it looks so awesome, doesn’t it?”

She swings the sword around excitedly, making more ‘fighting sounds’ which sound entirely too erotic. “Does she have to make those noises when she does that?” Lexy asks with a sigh. “It sounds... wrong.”

“She’s fighting, what noises do YOU make when you fight?” Nate asks.

“Nate told me I sound just like Maria Sharapova,” Cookie says happily. Lexy just face-palms...

“If I made noises like that when I fought I think they’d need to change the television ratings of the shows, and it would give a very different feeling to ‘ordering pay per view’,” Lexy mutters.

Nate nods slightly. “Yeah, ok, so maybe we can work on that,” he admits. “But see, this is the reason I wanted you on board. You can help so much with this whole thing. I’ve already got some people talking about the movie, that’s why we’ve been rushing to film stuff so quickly. There are people that want a preview of what it could be like. And I think with Cookie on board it could be fantastic. What more could any guy want but a kick ass blonde who fights zombies with swords? I mean just look at that rack...”

Nate steps aside and we see a rack of swords behind him. “That better be the rack you’re looking at,” Lexy mutters under her breath.

“Huh?” Nate asks, obviously having not heard.

“I said... never mind,” Lexy replies. “What I don’t understand is why you lied to me. I mean after the last month, and then I see her, and... I thought you were...”

“You thought I was what?” Nate asks innocently. It seems to take him a few seconds to realise. “What? No, babe, I would never do that to you! You seriously thought I was cheating on you? You’ve got to know that I would never do that.”

“Yeah, well, things between us have been pretty weird lately...” Lexy says softly. “And you’ve been keeping weird hours, disappearing out the apartment, we haven’t really talked much, and...”

“But I’d never cheat on you,” Nate tells her comfortingly. He walks over to her and hugs her and she hugs him back. “There, do you feel better? I can’t believe you thought I’d cheat on you. I can’t believe you followed me! You know what this means? It means you’re the crazy insecure one and I’m the cool, desirable one.”

“Yeah, well, maybe I am a little insecure,” Lexy says softly.

“And crazy,” Nate tells her with a grin. “I mean, you did actually follow me. That’s pretty crazy!”

“Ok, so maybe a little crazy too...” Lexy mutters.

“I don’t blame you, I mean I don’t know how anyone would live without me,” Nate tells her proudly. “It’s the big penis, isn’t it? Yeah, you can’t live without the big penis. You can say it. C’mon, just admit it.”

Lexy sighs. “I’m not saying anything.”

“Hey, you stalked me,” Nate tells her. “You didn’t trust me. That could cause some serious problems. If you want to make it right then you just admit it.”

“I’m not saying that,” Lexy says defiantly. “Besides, I had every reason not to trust you considering you lied to me and snuck around!”

“Yeah, completely innocently,” Nate tells her, pretending to be hurt. “I’m the innocent one here. It’s my feelings that are hurt that my wife doesn’t trust me. I mean, what kind of ground is that to build a marriage on when your own wife—”

He’s clearly exaggerating the way he feels and Lexy lets out a long sigh. “Ok, fine, I can’t... live... without your big penis,” she mutters quietly. “Are you happy now?”

“Can I see it?” Cookie asks excitedly.

Nate looks at Lexy as though he’s considering the idea. “Don’t even think about it,” she tells him firmly.

We cut back to the Chapel apartment. It seems to be later in the same day as Lexy is still wearing the same clothes she was wearing earlier, although Nate is now dressed differently, presumably having gotten changed when he finished filming. Lexy looks in to the camera and shakes her head. “So, I had an interesting day,” she says with a sigh. “It turns out that girl, Cookie, is actually not so bad. I imagine she’d be a little... much... in large doses though.”

“She’s going to be huge,” Nate exclaims excitedly.

“Parts of her already are,” Lexy mutters.

Nate ignores her. “Seriously, Chapel Show fans mark my words. You’ve got a sneak peak at the future here today. You’ve got a sneak peak at a girl who’s going to take Chapel Films in to the future. One day you’ll all know the name Cookie Dreams!”

 Lexy just stares at him in disbelief. “Wait, her full name is Cookie Dreams?” she asks before laughing. “Please tell me that’s a stage name...”

“I... never asked her,” Nate admits before shrugging his shoulders. “I guess it’s possible that her mother was a hippie and thought it was a good name.”

“Wait, you hired her without even finding out if that’s her real name or not?” Lexy asks in disbelief again. “You seriously hired this girl and decided to make a movie with her without actually finding out her real name? What the hell were you thinking?”

“Well, I was distracted by... err... other things about her...” Nate admits. Lexy gives him an angry look and Nate looks innocently back at her. “What? Oh, it’s not what you’re thinking! I mean her ACTING SKILLS!! I was distracted by her huge, enormous... acting skills.”

“And the fact that she moans like Maria Sharapova,” Lexy says disapprovingly.

“Maria Sharapova is incredibly popular babe,” Nate tells his wife defensively.

Lexy shakes her head slowly. “I don’t believe you sometimes.”

“Yeah, well, I still can’t believe you thought I’d have an affair with her. Why would I want that when I’ve got you right here? You know you’re the girl of my dreams,” he tells her lovingly. She actually softens and smiles a little, obviously happy that her husband feels that way. “I wouldn’t trade you for anyone else in the world babe. I promise you’ve got absolutely nothing to worry about.”

“I hope not,” she says with a nervous smile. “You know I love you too, right babes? And I’m sorry I doubted you. I just got all paranoid and crazy and... I’ll make it up to you, ok?”

“Well I’ve got an idea on how you could make it up to me...” he says excitedly.

Lexy looks at him nervously and lets out another sigh. “I’m not going to like this, am I?”

“Well there has always been one fantasy that we’ve talked about. Something that I think all men think about. And, I mean, if you really want to prove how much you love me then maybe you could give it some thought?” Nate suggests. “I mean I’m not saying we should do it right away but...”

“I’ll think about it,” Lexy says softly.

“Really?” Nate asks, almost jumping up in excitement and hugging her. “You know you’re the best wife ever!”

“Yeah...” Lexy says, shaking her head and looking in to the camera, mouthing the words ‘never gonna happen’ to the camera.

We cut back to the apartment looking the same way it did in the intro. Lexy is once again standing behind the table with the EXODUS Pro International Championship on the table in front of her, both hands on the title once more. She looks in to the camera and smiles a little embarrassed. “So c’mon, tell me that in the same circumstances you wouldn’t have thought the same thing,” she says, looking at the camera before beginning to laugh. “Well the good news is that we’ve talked a lot about our marriage since then and things are back to the way they should be between us. Nate’s still making his movie, which... I’m completely supporting, obviously. And the best news of all is that the girl who’s never finished anything in her life is at least on track to keep with one thing in her life, that being her marriage. I know things haven’t exactly worked out the way that we thought they would when we started our careers, but there are some things that you can never give up on. That’s one of them. And this Monday, like I mentioned before, I’m going to fight to prove that this championship right here in front of me is another one. It’s been one hundred and eighty days that I’ve held this title. I’m the first one to successfully defend it twice, the first one to successfully defend it three times, the one who’s given the most for it, the one who’s poured her heart and soul in to every moment that she’s been the champion, and on Monday I know that it’s going to take even more than that in order to leave the RIMAC still your International Champion.”

“Every time it comes to defending this championship I get this knot in my stomach. Every time it comes to defending this championship I find myself losing sleep, laying in bed just thinking about what will happen in the match, trying to figure out a way that I’ll somehow be able to win, and wondering what the future holds for me if I don’t. That’s a subject that’s been on my mind a lot this week as well, because the last time I took on Kerry Windsor in defence of this championship he took me beyond anything that anyone has taken me before and if you want to know the truth I still don’t really know how I dug deep enough to find a way to beat him. Can I get lucky enough to do it a second time? Do I have strength enough to find a way to beat that a second time? Do I even have enough in me? That’s something that I’ve been asking myself over and over, and that leads to the question of what happens if I lose. Will I get a rematch? Will I be forced to go off in an entirely different direction?” she asks before pausing. “This isn’t the first time that I’ve asked questions like that, and I want you guys to know that I’ve read all of your opinions from the previous times I’ve been forced in to defending this title, I’ve read your thoughts on my future, on the things I could do after my title reign ends – it has to end eventually, doesn’t it? – and I want you all to know that I’m appreciative of every kind word you guys have said. The most common thing I’ve heard though is that when I lose the International title I can ‘move on’ and ‘move up’.”

She stops for a moment, picking the title up from the table and holding it up to the camera, looking at it before smiling. “You know there’s a funny story with that. This wasn’t even the title I was supposed to have a shot at originally, was it?” she asks before laughing a little. “When I first entered singles wrestling, after Nate’s accident, the first title I found myself in pursuit of was the San Diego Bay Championship. I fought in a match to earn a right to fight for that title, and I was so excited about that opportunity. Then I fought Jerry Matthews and I beat Jerry Matthews, albeit by disqualification, and they told me that I’d ‘moved up’ then. I wasn’t happy at the time. You see I didn’t ever want to ‘move up’. I didn’t start off my career like so many do, looking at the San Diego Bay Championship as the ‘bottom’ and thinking that one day I could ‘move up’ to the International title. That wasn’t my intention at all. I wanted to fight for the San Diego Bay Championship, I wanted to try and win that championship, and if I had I’d have worn it with as much pride as I’ve worn the International title. I’d have treated that championship with respect and honour and I’d have taken on every challenge that the championship demanded, just as I have while I’ve been International Champion. But I was told back then that facing Jerry gave me the right to ‘move up’ and I was told that by, of all people, Jonathan Collins. So now that I’m on the brink of another title defence maybe it’s my chance to ‘move up’ again, right?”

She laughs and shakes her head. “I know I’ve said this before but I don’t believe that. I’ve never believed that championships in this business were the way that so many people viewed them. I look at a championship not based on where people SAY the championship should be but where it deserves to be. And the match makers may think that this championship deserves to be in the middle of a show, they might think that Fiona Collins facing off against Naoki Arishima matters more than it, they might think that Zack Lifer and Justin Brooks is a bigger story than it, they might feel that Christian Kane’s battle with Chuck Matthews is more of a focus than it and they might believe that seeing the World Champion in an eight-person elimination tag match is the biggest thing happening on Monday night but in my heart the biggest thing happening on Monday night is this championship. To me there is nothing more important than that, and I thank everyone who’ve tried to get me to look at it the way they do but to me the thought of losing doesn’t come with a silver lining of ‘moving up’, the thought of losing is just that... losing,” she says before looking at the title belt again. “I know there are people who don’t agree with that. I know there are people who think that ‘moving up’ is all that matters. I know a few people have even told me that this title is ‘holding me back’, but I still think they’re wrong. I don’t want to reach for something else and tell you THAT is what matters, I want to raise THIS proudly and tell you THIS is what matters!”

She pauses again before smiling and putting the title over her shoulder. “You know when I first started out I didn’t even think I’d get this far. I wanted to, obviously. I look back to those early days of the Chapel Show and I remember talking about the San Diego Bay Championship, I remember talking about the International Championship, I remember talking about the Tag Team Championship, I remember talking about pay per view matches not dark matches, I remember looking forward and dreaming about everything that MIGHT be, and I look around now at everything I’ve done and I’m so proud of it all. I’m so proud of my journey. I’m so proud of every match. I’m so proud of every challenge I’ve overcome. I know that if I lose on Monday I’ll be able to look back with so much pride and smile and say that I did all those things... but do you want to know a secret? Now that I have done those things I want more,” she says, smiling almost nervously. “I said before that I wanted just to have a pay per view match, and I did that. I did that and I was so proud. But now I look at this month and I think I don’t want to be where I am, I want to be higher. Because no matter how hard I fight, no matter what I do, I feel like I’m still in the shadows of so many others. I look at the way they’ve built up this pay per view, putting the HEC Women’s Champion above the EXODUS Pro International Champion, and I love Fiona and respect everything she’s done but I can’t help but ask myself why?”

“When I first won this championship I cared so much about its legacy, about everything that came before, about everything that it meant to the company, and I think I let that consume me. I think I let the idea of the championship take over. And I think people have taken that for granted. There are a dozen people out there trying to earn a shot at the WORLD Championship and nobody saying that their purpose in life is to be INTERNATIONAL champion but me, and I ask myself why? And when I think about that, as proud as I am of everything I’ve done, I don’t think it’s enough,” she says, shaking her head. “I don’t think it’s right that this championship is where it is. And Kerry, I love you ok, you know I respect the hell out of you, but I don’t think its right that you got a second chance at this. I think there’s something wrong when people can just get a second chance. I think it means the competition isn’t there. I think it means the hunger isn’t there. I think it means all those people looking at the title on Christum Furor’s shoulder because I’M not doing MY job and I’m not raising this title high enough for all those who are looking in that direction to start looking in this one. And that makes the name of the pay per view all the more meaningful in all the wrong ways, because right now when you look at the very TOP of this company where everyone is focused, where everyone wants to be, where everyone believes they can compete, it is a LONG WAY DOWN to where I am, to where this title is, and I want to raise it back up.”

“It was only a few weeks ago that I beat the FORMER WORLD CHAMPION on EXRO on FX. If you want to know the truth I still can’t believe that happened in a lot of ways. After everything that Johnny Cannon did there’s no doubt in my mind that everything I said that week was true, but make no mistake about the talent of Johnny, he is a FORMER WORLD CHAMPION after all. Yet on that night, when the International Championship was on the line in Las Vegas, it wasn’t THIS that people were focused on but Kerry Windsor fighting Christum Furor and Jonathan Collins battling Fiona Collins. Once again the HEC Women’s Champion was considered bigger, better and more important the EXODUS Pro International Champion, and as big as that night was for me to take on Johnny Cannon and win it was also disappointing for me to still be in the shadow everyone else. I don’t want that. I don’t want that for me but more importantly I don’t want that for THIS championship,” she says, holding the title up proudly once again. “I want people to care. I want people to notice it. I want people to talk about the International title like it MATTERS! I don’t want this title to be overshadowed. I don’t want this title to be forgotten about. I don’t want to have to wait until the last moment to finally find out whose next in line, only to find it’s someone who’s been there before. I want this title to be the thing that EVERYONE is coming after! And maybe that’s my fault. Maybe I’ve been wrapped up in the legacy, and I’ve forgotten the future!”

 We cut to Lexy in a business suit holding out a tape recorder, looking somewhat like a reporter. “Well do you know what would get people to notice this championship?” she asks, “if someone like Kerry Windsor was holding it!”

“Maybe you’re right,” she says, back to her original position with the championship in her hands. “Maybe I’m the problem. Maybe it’s JUST Lexy Chapel and there are so many people more important than her. Maybe if KERRY WINDSOR was holding the title then people WOULD focus on it more, after all he’s KERRY FUCKING WINDSOR and I’m JUST Lexy Chapel. Maybe he’s the future. Maybe he’s the new leader. Maybe he’s going to take the International title off me and never once think about the legacy of it but rather focus on the FUTURE with it, make it matter, make everyone come after him, after all he’s KERRY WINDSOR and who wouldn’t want to focus on him, right? He’s done everything. He’s an icon. You only have to say his name and there are so many around the world that turn their heads and become intrigued. You say the name ‘Lexy Chapel’ and nobody even knows who you mean, because she’s not a star, she’s a Jonathan Collins fan. She’s a mid-carder, but KERRY WINDSOR is a main event player! Maybe that’s the way it is. Maybe that’s the real truth. Maybe my time in this division is done and it’s time for the REAL STAR to come and take it all away from me. What do you think guys? Is that the way you view it? Yeah, well, you’re biased anyway; I mean you are WATCHING the Chapel Show. But what about everyone else? What about the big names around the wrestling world? They don’t know who I am. Maybe they’ll NEVER know who I am. Maybe I’m just not good enough. Maybe no matter how hard I try or how much I work I’ll just NEVER be a Fiona Collins, I’ll just NEVER be a Kerry Windsor, I’ll just NEVER be a real star.”

We see Lexy again, this time in overalls and a baseball cap. She looks confused. “Lexy who?” she asks, shaking her head. “Oh, you mean that YouTube girl?”

We cut back to Lexy standing and laughing a little, nodding her head. “Yeah, that YouTube girl,” she says, letting out a long sigh. “You know when I first heard that I was excited by it. Back in January and February it excited me. A company like EXODUS Pro had noticed the Chapel Show? They called me a ‘social media darling’. They called me ‘social media starlet’. It was exciting. It made my blood pump faster. But when I hear it today I’m almost offended by it. Is that all I’m ever going to be? Is that the way they’re always going to see me? If I’m just ‘that girl from YouTube’ then what does that mean for my future? Maybe I’m already punching above my weight. Maybe those people who tell me I can ‘move up’ are wrong, and maybe this pay per view name has a whole different meaning, because maybe on Monday if Kerry Windsor takes this title away from me maybe it’s a LONG WAY DOWN to the bottom, where I’ll end up. Is that the way it’s going to be? Am I just ‘that YouTube girl’ and nothing more? Without this championship maybe I’m not anything. Maybe I’m the reason this title is where it is because of that. Maybe I’ve climbed as high as I can climb and it’s time for me to finally face the truth that I’m not the star and I never will be. Fiona is the star. Kerry is the star. They’re the heroes. They’re the big names. I’m not them. I’m just the YouTube girl, right? And maybe that’s true. Maybe that’s all I’ll ever be. Maybe that’ll be my legacy after this Monday night. Or maybe this Monday night is my chance to prove that that’s all wrong!”

We see Lexy again, dressed in full Jonathan Collins fan attire – t-shirt, baseball cap and waving a banner. “Yeah, whatever, keep crying little girl, you’ll never be as big as the real stars.”

We cut back to Lexy again who puts the International title on her shoulder proudly and shakes her head. “Oh but that’s where you’re wrong,” she says proudly. “Because I’ve done the things I’ve done, and now I want MORE! I’ve fought the matches I’ve fought and now I want MORE! I’ve overcome the impossible challenges time and again and yet now I want MORE! I don’t want to be ‘that YouTube girl’. I don’t want to be the mid-carder. I don’t want to be the ‘social media starlet’. I want to be the EXODUS Pro Starlet. And this Monday night I’m going to fight for that, and for this title! Anyone who says that I’m NOT the one to take this title forward, you’re wrong. Anyone who says that I’m NOT the one to climb the card, you’re wrong. Anyone who says that I’m not good enough, that I’m not big enough, that I’m not the REAL STAR, you’re WRONG! This Monday night I take on Kerry Windsor for the second time, and for the second time I want to beat him. You see before this match was about the International title versus his expectations of being World Champion, this time around it’s about the International title MEANING SOMETHING! This time around it’s about the International title NO LONGER BEING IN THE SHADOWS! This time it’s getting the attention of the world and STEALING THE GODDAMN SHOW on Monday night. That’s what I want to do. That’s what I aim to do. Because I know those fans will go home talking about the eight-person tag team war, I know they’ll go home talking about Christian Kane and Chuck Matthews, I know they’ll talk about Zack Lifer and Justin Brooks, I know they’ll talk about all them and so many more, but I want them to go home saying that the thing they remember most from that show was Lexy Chapel beating Kerry Windsor.”

“Can I do it? Yes. I’ve done it before. It took everything I had and more, it took a colossal struggle, it took me overcoming one of the best there have EVER been in this business, but I did it before. So CAN I do it? Yes. WILL I do it? That’s a whole different question,” she says, the level of passion in her voice reaching an all time high. “I can’t promise you that I’ll beat him. I can’t guarantee that I’ll hold on to this title. I can’t stand here with my hand on my heart and tell you there’s NO DOUBT that I’ll retain, because I don’t know that I will. As much as I may hate it, as much as it may make me feel like shit to know it, Kerry Windsor IS a world class competitor and he IS a certified main event guy... but I will promise you this – I’m going to give everything I have. I’m going to TRY to beat him. They said before that our match was a Match of the Year candidate. That’s a great thing to hear. It means so much. But as great as that is to hear, it means nothing if you’re the one who LOSES the Match of the Year. That’s why on Monday I’m going to give everything I can. That’s why on Monday I’m going to show you everything that Lexy Chapel is about. That’s why on Monday I’m going to pour my heart and my soul in to every move, I’m going to leave EVERYTHING in the ring, and it’s why I’m not thinking about ‘moving up’ but I’m thinking about doing all I can to win. On Monday night failure for me isn’t something that I can allow, and this time it’s not about the legacy of this championship but the FUTURE of it. This time it’s not Lexy Chapel versus Kerry Windsor. This time it’s Lexy Chapel versus the World.”

She takes a deep breath and takes the championship off her shoulder, kissing it proudly before looking back up again. “I’m the girl who never finishes what she started, but on Monday I want to finish this,” she says proudly. “And if you want to find out how I did, there are two things you need to do. First of all, order the pay per view! That one’s a no-brainer, right? I know I may have had some... negative light to shine on a few things already, but it is an incredible card and I guarantee you’ll enjoy it. The second thing to do though is come back next time and find out from me, and to do that the easiest thing to do is SUBSCRIBE! That’s right, never see a Chapel Show. Never miss a moment! Seriously though guys, thanks for watching, comment, like, subscribe, Twitter details in the comments, I love you all. As always I’ve been Lexy Chapel and this has been another episode of the Chapel Show. Until next time, fuckers!”

She salutes the camera and then raises the International title up again. The Chapel Show logo flashes up on the screen as the video fades out and comes to its ending with the replay button appearing.