Episode: S01E20
Date: 15/11/2014

The video begins and we see not the inside of the Chapel apartment in Anaheim, California, like we’ve seen so many times but instead a very childish looking bedroom. The walls are a light grey colour and are covered with various photo frames of Lexy Chapel, with her original blonde hair, posing with a whole bunch of random people that we’ve never seen before, along with posters of McFly and Busted, and more than notably a poster that must be ten years old of Jonathan Collins. As the video begins we’re treated to this quite incredible sight of a teenage Lexy’s bedroom, accompanied by a very grown up Lexy sitting on her bed holding her head in her hands. She has tears in her eyes. She looks up at the camera and wipes one of her eyes. “What’s up fuckers? I’m Lexy Chapel and…” she says before fading off. She has Lexy Chapelnone of her normal enthusiasm or energy. She looks away for a moment before trying to recompose herself and then looking back in to the camera again. “Sorry, this is harder than I thought it would be. Um, how do I say this? My mum died.”

She holds her head in her hands for a moment and then looks up at the camera again, trying to smile weakly before wiping her eyes with both hands this time. “I know, not exactly the super happy intro you’re used to. I’m sorry about that. We had a whole show planned for you this week. We were going to show you all kinds of stuff, but on Thursday I got a call from my dad to tell me that my mom was in the hospital, that she’d been sick for a while and she’d been hiding it from pretty much everyone. Me and Nate, we got on a plane and we came over here as soon as we could and I got to spend a little time with her yesterday but then last night she…” Lexy says softly, obviously unable to say anymore. She starts crying again. She just sits there in front of the camera crying for about thirty-seconds before she finally looks up in to it again. “Oh god, this has got to be the worst show that we’ve ever done, right? I’m sorry guys, I really am. There’s so much I wanted to show you, so much I was excited to tell you about, so much stuff that’s happened to us in the last month — and yeah, I can’t believe it’s actually been a month since the last show either but it has. Time flies, right? There was a lot I wanted to show you guys but all those clips are at home in Anaheim on the laptop and we don’t have access to any of that stuff here, so instead of getting a good laugh with the Chapel Show you get me, in my bedroom, crying. I wouldn’t blame you if you were disappointed. I would be too.”

She stops for another long moment, trying her best to pull herself together. “You’re probably wondering why I’m even filming this right now. Yeah, well I’m kind of wondering it too. I don’t know if this film is ever actually going to get used, I don’t know if Nate is going to record something later on his own, but right now I just needed some time away from my father and my brothers and even Nate to sit by myself and to clear my head. The thing is though that I need to talk to someone. I need to talk about how I’m feeling but I can’t talk to my brother’s and I can’t even talk to Nate. I can’t explain why. Somehow it’s easier talking to you guys than it is the most important people in my life. Maybe that’s because of the anonymity of the Internet, maybe it’s because you guys don’t constantly talk back and try and reassure me, which isn’t reassuring at all and is actually making me feel fifty times worse,” she says, obviously struggling to hold it together. “You see I’ve not really been close to my mum for over a year. She didn’t support my decision with Nate — none of my family supported that decision at the time — and I left her and my family and England and my whole life behind to run away with him and to start our own life together. It was crazy and it was romantic and we thought that we were doing something so great for the two of us, so amazing that we were doing it together and we were going against our families and we kind of pretended like we were… I don’t know what we thought we were. But we left them, and I left her, and she needed me and I wasn’t here…”

She almost breaks down again. She looks like she’s going to get up and shut the camera off but then she starts taking some deep breaths and manages to control herself and her emotions and looks back up in to the camera again. “Am I horrible person?” she asks like she’s really desperately reaching out and trying to find an answer to that question. “Seriously, am I a horrible person? Am I a terrible daughter? I feel like I’m a terrible daughter right now. I feel like… I feel like I should have been here for her. I feel like I should have been here for her to talk to. She used to tell me everything. When I was younger we had an amazing relationship. My mum was basically my hero. She was a wrestler, and a really great one, and a mother and no matter what was going on in her life, no matter where she had to go or what she had to do for her career she never missed a single thing that I was in for my whole life. I remember one time when I was eleven and I was in a school play. I didn’t even have a big part, I was, like, in the background of a few scenes or something ridiculous. She was on tour in Germany. She told me that she probably couldn’t make it to the play. I told her that it was no big deal, you know? Why would it be? It was just some lame part in some crowd scenes. So I went out on the stage and I looked out in the crowd and there she was, camera in hand, cheering me on. I don’t even know how she got out of the tour of Germany or anything else. I never asked her. I never told her how much I loved her for that either.”

She starts crying again before taking another deep breath and clearly doing all she can to stop. “I never got to tell her how much I loved her for attending my stupid plays, or how much I loved her for everything she helped me with. I’ll never get to sit down with her again and tell her about my day, or talk about boys or…” she says before brushing the hair out of her eyes and swallowing hard, trying everything she can to hold it together. “She was my hero. I did get to talk to her yesterday and I made her a promise. You see I’ve been angry at the world a lot recently. I don’t even know why either. I look at it now and it seems so completely stupid. I mean god, I had a few matches go against me and suddenly I’m lashing out? That’s not me! That’s not who she wanted me to be. I talked to her yesterday and instead of talking about her illness or how long she had left all she wanted to do was talk about me. She watches the show. Err, watched the show, I guess. She said she was proud of me. She said she was proud of everything I’ve done. I, um… I cried a lot when she told me that. She told me that I had to be strong, that I had to keep being me no matter what the world threw at me, that I had to keep standing for what I believed in no matter what the world threw at me, and that no matter what happens in anything, in my career or my life or anything else, that she’d always be proud of me. My mum, before she died, told me that she was proud of me. But right now, in this moment, I’m not proud of myself.”

“I’m so crazily emotional right now I’m probably not in the best place to be talking about Monday but, um, it’s… it’s pretty soon, and, err… and I’ve got a match that’s kind of important to me. You guys know that already, right? Some of you guys know. Of course you guys know. Why would you even be listening to me blubbering if you didn’t know! Well, I’m facing Christian Kane, the International title is on the line, and I’m flying home tomorrow to get ready for it. My mum’s funeral won’t be for, um… it won’t be until next week some time. I’m going to come back for that. I’m going to come back and I’m going to say goodbye, but on Monday I’m going to go out in San Diego and I’m going to fight Christian Kane, and… I’m going to fight him for my mum,” she says, shaking her hands and trying obviously not to burst in to tears. “She said she was proud of me and I want to make her proud. I don’t know if, um… I don’t know if the whole heaven thing is real or not, I don’t really know what I truly think about all of that stuff, but I hope right now that it is, I hope that she’s up there somewhere and she’s looking down on me, because on Monday I’m not stop being this crazy, selfish brat I’ve turned in to and I’m going to go back to being the girl who made her proud. I’m going to be… I’m going to be Lexy Chapel, daughter of Helen Adams, and I’m going to honour my mum the way that she’d want to be honoured. I’m going to do her proud, and I just hope that you guys can forgive me for this crazy person I turned in to and that you’ll support me on Monday. So, err, thanks for listening, I think, and… I’ll talk to you guys later, ok?”

The Chapel Show

We cut from an emotional Lexy in her childhood bedroom to a frantic and pacing Lexy walking back and forth in what appears to be a hospital waiting room. She’s not only pacing but she’s also tapping her hands on her legs as she paces. Everything about her looks panicked and restless. We hear Nate’s voice from behind the camera. “Are Nathan Chapelyou sure you don’t want to sit down?”

“How will that help?” she asks, not even turning to look at him. When she finally does turn to look at him she obviously notices he’s got the camera out and looks at it oddly. “Are you filming this right now?”

“Yeah,” he says softly. “I can turn it off if you want.”

She looks like she’s considering it for a moment before she shakes her head. “No, that’s ok,” she says quietly before beginning to pace and pat her hands again before turning back to Nate again. “What’s taking so long? What are they talking about in there? Seriously, how long does it take to give someone some news? He said the doctor would come back with some news. He comes back and they go in there and they’ve been in there forever, and…”

“It’ll be ok,” Nate promises her from behind the camera.

She turns to him with a look of fear in her eyes. “What if it’s not?” she asks emotionally. “What if it’s not good news? What if it’s bad news? What if dad was right? What if she’s really sick and there’s nothing they can do and… why would she lie about this? Why would she keep this from everyone? Why wouldn’t she tell them the truth?!”

Nate reaches out to her supportively. She steps closer to him and takes his hand and just looks down past the camera at her husband lovingly. “Maybe she didn’t know,” he suggests softly. “Maybe she didn’t know how serious it was and she was just trying to find the right way to tell everyone.”

“She knew,” Lexy says. “She always knows. Do you want to know why she didn’t tell people? Because she didn’t want to upset anyone! That’s what she’ll say. She’ll say she didn’t want to be a bother. My mum is dying and she’ll tell people that she didn’t want to upset their routines and she didn’t want to be a burden.”

She looks like she’s about to lose it and Nate puts down the camera and he stands up next to her. We can’t see the full picture now, only half of their bodies, but it’s clear from what we can see that Nate’s hugging her and her frantic breathing seems to calm a little when he is. “She’s tough,” Nate tells her softly and reassuringly. “She’s strong. She’s a fighter. No matter what the news is you’ve got to remember that, ok?”

Lexy’s voice is muffled, as though she’s talking in to him. “Ok…”

“You want to know a funny story?” Nate says with slight amusement in his voice. “I remember the first day I met your mum. She scared the hell out of me.”

Lexy laughs. “She was pretty scary when she wanted to be.”

“You remember that day?” he asks her lovingly. “It was in college. We were hanging out. She came over and she surprised you with a visit when you weren’t expecting it, remember? And you tried to pretend that I wasn’t me, that I was just some random guy you met in class, only you couldn’t think of a name so it kind of sounded like you were locked in your dorm room with a random guy you’d met at college who’s name you couldn’t even remember.”

Lexy laughs. “Oh god, that was so embarrassing,” she says softly. “I thought for sure she was going to think I was the biggest slut in the universe or something. I’ve got this random guy in my room and I don’t remember his name, all because I’m trying to think of any name EXCEPT Nathan and all I can think is ‘Nathan’. And then she knows I’m lying to her and the moment she meets you she knows exactly who you are.”

Nate laughs as well now. “Yeah, she did. She looked me straight in the eyes and she told me that. She said ‘I know who you are’ and I thought for sure she was going to kick my ass,” he says before laughing. “She could have as well. Your mum is tough as hell. You know my brother turned down a match with her one time? He said he’d rather fight your brother Harry because ‘the Lion doesn’t have as much bite as Panther’.”

“She’d have kicked his ass,” Lexy says with a laugh that seems to turn in to tears.

“Hey baby, don’t cry,” he tells her lovingly. “Your mum doesn’t want to see you crying. She wants you to be tough, ok? No matter what happens, what the news is, she’d want you to be tough. She wouldn’t ever want you to break down for her.”

“I should have been here,” Lexy says emotionally. “I’ve been gone for over a year Nate. It’s been more than a year since I saw her and I’ve missed her and now I’m seeing her again and it could be for the last time and… I should have been here. I should have been here for her.”

She starts crying and Nate obviously puts his arms around her again and hugs her tightly. “Don’t cry or you’ll make me cry,” he tells her. She laughs a little and the laugh is muffled again, presumably by Nate’s body. “You know there’s something I never told you about her. You remember when you told me that she knew about us, and that you were absolutely certain she was going to tell your dad? Not the first time either, the second time, during the reality TV show thing, not long before we started talking about Las Vegas. Well, she did know. I know she knew because she came and she found me and she told me that she knew.”

“She talked to you?” Lexy asks with surprise. “She didn’t tell me that she talked to you. When did that happen? What did she say?”

“I think it was after the last day of filming. Your dad had called you in for the ‘family meeting’ and she came and she found me and she said that she knew about us. I told her that she was wrong. She said that she was stupid. She said that she’d seen us together and she said that she’d seen the way we looked at each other and she said that you were in love with me, and she wanted to know if I loved you.”

“What did you say?” Lexy asks emotionally.

“I told her that I did,” Nate says with a chuckle, like that should have been obvious. “She asked if we were ‘fooling around’ and I told her that we weren’t, that I loved you and that I thought you were the one for me, the one I was going to marry, and rather than getting angry at me she just looked me straight in the eyes and she made me make a promise. She made me promise that I’d never hurt you, because she told me that you were far, far too special to have some douche bag break your heart. I promised her I never would.”

Lexy just stops and it appears she pulls away from him a little. “You mean she knew about us?” she asks in disbelief. “She knew about us the whole time and she didn’t try and stop it?”

“Yep, she knew about us the whole time,” Nate says with another chuckle.

“You mean all those excuses I made… god I thought I was such an amazing liar that I could keep tricking her like that,” Lexy says in disbelief before beginning to laugh. “Wow, I can’t believe that she knew the whole time.”

“You see?” he asks supportively. “She loves you Lex. She wants you to be happy. That’s why she didn’t tell you. It’s not about not wanting to be a burden, ok? She wants you to be happy and to live your life and not get stuck here. That’s what matters to her. What matters to her is your happiness.”

Lexy starts to cry again, but this time it’s not as sadly but with a little more relief and joy. “She’s going to be ok, right?”

“I hope so,” he says sweetly before putting his arms around her again. “She’s the only one in your family who might actually like me, if she’s not ok I’m boned.”

Lexy laughs again and we cut scenes with her still in her husband’s arms.

The Chapel Show

We cut from there to a hospital room where Lexy is holding the camera away from herself, far enough away in fact that we can see her with her mother both posing for the camera. “Say hi mum,” she says with a smile.

“Hi mum,” her mother says weakly and smiles at her only daughter. Lexy smiles back Helen Brooke-Adamsand shakes her head.

“You always do that,” she says before beginning to laugh again. “You’d think I’d learn by now but nope, I never do. Always suckered in.”

“You used to think it was funny,” her mother tells her weakly. “It was always your dad that didn’t find it amusing. Don’t tell me that you’re winding up like him as you get older, please. The world doesn’t need another grumpy Gus.”

Lexy shakes her head slowly. “No, at least I hope not,” she says with a slight smile. “We both know that if I’m going to end up like either one of my parents then I need to end up like you. You were always the best one mum. You were the supportive one, the encouraging one. I don’t think I’d have anything that I have today if you hadn’t taught me to go after my dreams.”

“And now look at you,” she says, reaching out and running her finger through her daughter’s hair. “I’m not sure about the hair, but I like everything else I’m seeing. You’d done a good job.”

“Really?” Lexy asks, shaking her head. “Because I’m not so sure.”

“Nonsense,” her mother says softly. “Have you seen you? You’re independent, you’re strong, you’re a champion and even more importantly you’ve got so many people who love you. They love you enough to send a whole bag full of things for you.”

Lexy smiles, a little embarrassed. “You saw that?”

“I’ve seen all of them,” her mother tells her lovingly. “Did you really think I’d miss them? I’ve seen every second of every one. I’ve seen you at your very best and I’ve seen you at your very worst and you want know something Alexandra? I’ve always been so proud of you.”

Lexy blushes and shakes her head. “You need to say that,” she tells her dismissively. “You’re my mum and you’re making me film you for my show. You’re obviously going to say something nice; nobody is going to believe you.”

“I don’t care what they believe,” her mother tells her lovingly. “I’m not saying it for them or anyone else. I’m saying it for you. Turn off the camera and I’ll tell you the same thing again. I’m so proud of you. I’m proud of everything you’ve done. I’m proud of everything you’ve become. I’m proud of the little girl who once cried for three hours because there were no little ten year old boys who wanted to ask her to be their date to the dance who’s now got her choice of any boy to take her anywhere.”

Lexy smiles at her mother. The look in her eyes is clearly one of intense love. “That’s because… that’s because I act like a slut,” she says before laughing. “You know that it’s just an act, right? Because I just realised that if you watch the show then you’ve heard me joking around and you’ve heard me and Nate talking about sex and… and… and I just realised that my mum knows all about my sex life.”

Her mother just laughs as strongly as she can manage. “You might have said a little more than I needed to hear occasionally,” she says with a smile, “but that doesn’t stop me being proud of you. I’m proud of you for making it with Nate as well. He’s a good kid.”

“Dad would hate if he heard you say that,” Lexy says with a weak smile.

“Why do you think I’m saying it on camera? So he’ll watch it after I’ve gone,” her mother says playfully. “It’s true though. He’s a good kid. He loves you. I’m glad that you two could work everything out. I’m just sorry that we couldn’t all be more supportive.”

“You’ve been supportive enough,” Lexy tells her mother lovingly. “You know, um, earlier on Nate and me were talking while we were waiting for the doctor to be done and we were talking about you and he told me what you did. He told me that you knew and that rather than getting all angry about it or telling me to break up with him you just went and you found him and you made sure that he was serious about me and then you let us figure it out. Thanks mum. Thanks for trusting me. I know it can’t have been easy but… I love him.”

“Anyone who’s seen you two together knows that,” her mother tells her supportively. Lexy starts to cry and her mother shakes her head. “Don’t cry sweetheart. What would they think?”

She nods toward the camera as she says the word ‘they’. Lexy looks in to the camera for a moment and then back at her mother. “Oh they’re going to see me cry a WHOLE LOT more you, um… when you… what’s the nice way of saying it?”

“When my time is up,” her mother says softly.

Tears start flowing from Lexy’s eyes again and she nods her head. “Yeah, when your time is up,” she says sadly. “And when it is mum I… um… I don’t know what I’m going to do. I mean, I don’t know WHAT I’m going to do. There’s still so much stuff I wanted us to go through. I mean, you’re never going to see my kids. I mean, if I have kids. I’m going to have kids though. I mean, one day, I think. Maybe… but can you imagine Nate with a baby?”

Her mother laughs. “He’ll be an amazing father.”

“And you’ll never see it,” Lexy squeaks, barely able to get the words out as her voice gets so high it probably registers in frequencies that only dogs can hear.

Her mother smiles at her again and holds her free hand. “Of course I will,” she says reassuringly. “There’s nothing that you do for the rest of your life that I won’t see and I won’t be proud of. You think you can get rid of me that easily?”

Lexy just laughs weakly and smiles at her mother before looking at her far more seriously. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she asks in an almost distraught tone. “I mean, you’ve known for a while now, right? Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I didn’t want to tell any of you,” her mother says with a smile. “You think that I want to spend my last few weeks with my children pitying me and crying whenever they see me? No, I wanted you to all be happy. I wanted to just sit back and watch you all enjoying your lives and being yourselves.”

“But I could have come and seen you,” Lexy tells her mother, struggling to hold it together. “I could have come and seen you and we could have talked and we could have… I mean there’s so much that I wanted to ask you, so much that I wanted to get your advice on, so much that I still don’t even know about what the hell I’m doing and you’re like the only person in the world who’s advice I’d ever really trust on that.”

“You’re here now,” her mother says happily. “What do you want to ask me?”

“Oh god, put me on the spot,” Lexy replies, trying to make it a joke. “Ok, um… my career! I wanted to ask you about my career. I wanted to ask you what I’m supposed to do about… um… you know, the pressure and…”

“Be yourself,” her mother tells her lovingly. “Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. Don’t try and be what anyone else tells you to be. Don’t try and be the next Fiona Collins or anything like that, ok? Be the first and only Alexandra CHAPEL. That’s what you should do about your career. Just be yourself and I promise you that good things are going to happen for you sweetheart. I promise you that.”

Lexy puts the camera down and hugs her mother before looking back in to the camera again and then back at her mother. “I’ve got some other questions to ask but I should probably not ask them on camera since they’re kind of personal,” she says before laughing a little. “You’re ok if I turn it off, right?”

Whatever answer her mother gives is non-verbal and since the camera isn’t pointed at her we don’t hear anything but Lexy grabs the camera and shuts it down and we cut scenes once again.

The Chapel Show

We cut from the hospital room to what seems to be the living room, presumably of the Adams household. The camera is being held aloft in the room, presumably by Nate as he’s the only one not in the picture in front of it. In the picture are Damien Adams Sr., better known to British and European wrestling fans as ‘Union Jack’, Damien Adams Jr., better known to British and Mexican wrestling fans as ‘Britannic’, and Harry Adams, better known in more exclusive wrestling circles as ‘The British Lion’. Lexy’s father glares at the camera angrily. “Are you filming this?” he asks angrily, beginning to get up off the Damien Adamschair he’s sitting in. “Turn that goddamn camera off now before I shove it so far down your throat that they’ll be—”

“Dad,” Lexy shouts at him to stop him before he continues. “He’s filming it because I asked him to, ok? He’s filming because I asked him to. I wanted to do something, for mum. I wanted to… I don’t know how to explain it but I thought that we could just sit here for a little while and we could tell stories, and then one day when it’s less painful we can watch the video again and we’ll remember the stories we told and we’ll all laugh.”

Her father looks at his only daughter, then back at the camera, then beyond the camera to Nate, before sitting back down and crossing his arms angrily. “That’s the stupid idea I’ve ever heard,” he mutters. “Your mother just died, I don’t want to be telling fucking stories about her. Stupid American psychobabble bullshit…”

“Yeah, well, I do,” Lexy tells him, ignoring his mumbling about her adopted homeland. She looks at her brothers. Neither one of them moves much. She takes a deep breath and lets it out as a long sigh before nodding her head. “Ok, nobody wants to start then I guess I will. My first one, um, it isn’t really so much a story as it is a confession. Do you remember when I was eight years old and we had that big black laptop that was basically like a giant brick with keys on it? You guys remember that? I do. I remember that it got broken, and I remember mum told us that she was the one who broke it, but she was lying. It wasn’t her, it was me. I was… playing detective. I pretended that I had critical evidence for the case I was working on of the guy who kidnapped Sunshine Doll — she was my favourite doll when I was younger and I was pretending that she was kidnapped. So I pretended that all the evidence was on the laptop and I pretended that the station was on fire and that I had to save the evidence so that Sunshine Doll’s kidnappers could be caught, and so I grabbed the laptop and I ran out of the, um, ‘fire’, only I slipped and it went flying out of my hands and all the way across the room and… it broke. I was so upset. I thought everyone would be so mad at me. I begged mum to let me fix it with sellotape, because you know sellotape fixes everything, or at least you think sellotape fixes everything when you’re eight, and she told me that sellotape couldn’t help but that she had a special way of fixing things that made them even better than they were. She bought a new one and she told everyone it was her who broke it but it was me. She lied to protect me.”

“Yeah, she was good at that,” Damien Jr. said before laughing a little. “When I was Damien Adams Jrfifteen I skipped school for like a week. The principal phoned the house. Mum told him that I was sick. She wrote me a note. I never got in trouble. She just made me promise not to tell dad. Sorry dad!”

“You skipped school?” Lexy asks with a little surprise. “That’s funny, me too.”

“And me,” Harry says. All three then look at each other and laugh. “Hey, you remember at Christmas every year how she’d made that gammon? God that stuff was amazing. It was like honey and… something… in the sauce. She always used to make it because dad — err, my dad, he hates turkey. Like, HATES turkey — and you remember that one year where she burned it? That was me. She told me to tell everyone it was her, but I was meant to turn the oven off and I turned it up instead. I was, like, ten. Lex, you’d have been, like, six. Do you even remember that?”

Lexy shakes her head. “No, but I remember how every Christmas she’d always buy us pyjamas and she’d always tell us that on Christmas Eve we could open one present before we went to bed, and it was always the pyjamas.”

“Yeah, I remember one year I got Turtles,” Damien Jr. says while laughing. “God, that was an awesome Christmas! Mum really went all out at Christmas, didn’t she?”

“She really did,” Harry AdamsHarry agrees before smirking. “Hey Lex, did you ever figure out who kidnapped Sunshine Doll?”

“Err, no,” Lexy says, shaking her head. “I guess after the ‘evidence’ was destroyed the case was over. It was probably her rich parents. Sunshine Doll had really rich parents.”

“What about when you got older?” Harry asks, smiling at her again. “Did you ever figure out what happened to Sunshine Doll?”

Lexy shakes her head again. “No,” she says with a confused look. “I guess I just threw her away or something when I got older. Why do you ask?”

“You didn’t throw her away,” Harry tells her with a grin. “She’s upstairs in mum’s wardrobe. Mum asked me to get a jumper for her a few months ago and I saw Sunshine Doll just sitting in her wardrobe. I asked her about it and she laughed and she said that you used to love that doll so much that she could never bring herself to throw it away so she kept it all these years.”

“She did? I haven’t seen her in years,” Lexy says. She gets up off the sofa and heads for the door. Harry and Damien both go with her. Nate obviously follows with the camera. The three kids head through the house and up the stairs. Nate loses track of them for a moment and picks them up again in their mother’s bedroom where Lexy is holding a small fabric doll with a sunshine stitched in to the front in her hands. She’s looking at it lovingly with tears in her eyes as her brother’s sit on the bed. “Oh my god, she really kept it all these years.”

“She kept the craziest stuff,” Damien says with a laugh. “She kept my Action Men. She showed them to me a few years ago. They’re in a box in the attic.”

“Yeah, so are my Transformers,” Harry says with a laugh of his own. “She never could let go. I think she still saw us all like we were kids.”

“I just want her to be proud of who I am now,” Lexy says emotionally. She hugs Sunshine Doll. Her brother Harry grabs her and pulls her on to the bed with Damien and all three of them just lay there together looking around the room. Lexy takes a deep breath and you can see there are tears in her eyes. She kisses Sunshine Doll softly. “I love you mum…”

The Chapel Show

We cut from there back to Lexy’s bedroom. She’s in different clothing than she was in the beginning of the video. She’s also looking more composed. She takes a deep breath before looking in to the camera. “Ok, let me start with an apology,” she says softly. “This video wasn’t exactly full of laughs. We’re not making jokes here. I’m sorry about that. But hey, you got to meet my family. It’s kind of crazy that it’s taken twenty episodes before that finally happened, and it’s even crazier that the reason I finally got to introduce you to them all is because my mum passed, but here we are. This is my bedroom. Or, well, it was my bedroom a long time ago. You can probably ignore the posters. I’m a little ashamed to say that I was a pretty big fan of Busted and I was one of the ones who was the most heartbroken when they split. I used to have dreams where they serenaded me. And McFly. I loved McFly. And... err... well, you guys know about my pre-existing love of Jonathan Collins, right? That’s not embarrassing at all. But this is my bedroom. This is where Lexy Adams grew up, where she expressed her love, where she... avoided doing her homework. This is where Lexy Adams grew up and where she started to become Lexy Lexy ChapelChapel. This is also where she watched wrestling. Where she watched a LOT of wrestling! You don’t believe me? Then there’s probably something you should see for yourself, just so you get a better idea of why Lexy Adams was the undisputed queen of the wrestling geeks.”

She laughs and grabs the camera off its stand, turning it around to show a large bookcase. She zooms in on the bookcase and we see it’s absolutely packed, but not with books and instead with DVD cases. She zooms in to one of the shelves and starts panning the camera along it and we see dozens upon dozens of DVD cases, some official and store bought, some that look like the covers have been printed off, as though the DVDs themselves are perhaps copies from other people’s, and some that only have hand-written labels on them. A few of the hand-written labels aren’t even in English either, they’re in Japanese. Lexy grabs one of those titles off the shelf and turns the camera back around on herself, smiling. “Oh man, this has one of my favourite ever matches on it,” she says excitedly. “Ok, before you ask, yes it’s a Jonathan Collins match. It’s incredible though. This is, err... fuck, I didn’t write the year on it. It’s got to be like 2003, maybe? He was New Era Wrestling International Champion. I remember that because he’s got the belt with him in the beginning of the match. He’s facing this Japanese guy. Oh god, what’s his name? It’s like Choo or something. Gah, I don’t remember. Why didn’t I write it down? It’s been so many years since I watched this. The match is amazing though. I copied the DVD from my brother and I swear I must have watched it so many times I’m shocked that the DVD didn’t break. It was amazing though. Like I said, queen of the wrestling geeks right here. In school I knew EVERYTHING about wrestling. Actually when I look back now that’s probably why I was so desperately NOT popular...”

She laughs and shakes her head before putting the DVD back on the shelf and grabbing another. “Oh, shit, check it. This one has Johnny Cannon. Wait, sorry, I actually forgot for a moment what a complete tool he’s become lately, I was still in crazy mark out mode,” she says, rolling her eyes and putting the DVD back on her shelf. She pauses for a moment then and looks back in to the camera again. “Guys, can I ask you a question. Do you think the day is ever going to come when someone gets this excited over one of my matches? Do you think one day there’s going to be a new queen of the high school wrestling geeks and she’s going to be pulling out a DVD – that ancient medium that people look at like it’s prehistoric, like the way most people look at VHS tapes now, which I have a TON of by the way. They’re under the bed. Let’s move on – and say ‘oh my god, you know what, this is the one where Lexy Chapel fought Kerry Windsor’, or ‘yeah, wow, this is the one where Lexy Chapel fought Christian Kane’. Do you think that’s likely to happen? Do you think when I’m older and I’ve got kids of my own there will be people in the world who remember Lexy Chapel, and maybe even have that Autumn Effect 2 DVD on their shelves? I hope so. I hope that I can have that kind of effect on people. I hope some distant day in the future there’s a little girl who gets all inspired watching my matches like I was inspired watching so many others, including my mum’s. Hey, who knows, maybe it’ll be my daughter and she’ll be telling you about the time that her mum faced impossible odds.”

“Funny story, my mum actually faced someone called ‘Impossible Odds’,” Lexy says, nodding at the camera. She then reaches over to the bookshelf and grabs a flier from on top of a stack of DVDs and holds it up. The date on it is July 6th 1985 and sure enough on the announced list of matches for the show that night is a match ‘Panther vs. Impossible Odds’. Lexy laughs and puts the flier back where she got it from. “Yeah, crazy, right? Well, I’m still in a weird place emotionally but I’m less teary now, so shall we do this thing? Because it’s Sunday morning here in England already, Saturday night for most of you guys probably, and I’ve got a flight to catch to come back there in a few hours. Before I do I really need to talk to you guys about Monday, about me and the aforementioned Christian Kane, about the International title match and about Autumn Effect 2. It’s a big night for both of us. You guys heard how they’re hyping this one up, right? Respect versus Redemption. I like that. I know why it’s being hyped that way though, and that’s because I’ve had a few outbursts, I’ve said some stuff, I’ve felt undervalued and disrespected and I was angry. I’m not angry anymore. Truth is I don’t even feel disrespected anymore. If anything now I mostly just feel grateful. A year ago I was nobody. A year ago when Nate and me were training and trying to make it and sending out tapes of ourselves that we VERY poorly edited together to try and get ANYONE to give us even the HINT of a chance – like, we’d have been in cloud nine then if one promotion even CALLED us after they watched our tapes – I couldn’t have even begun to IMAGINE that I’d be where I am right now.”

“I’m the EXODUS Pro International Champion going in to the single biggest pay per view of the year,” Lexy says before smiling proudly. “I’d love to do the thing right now where I get all proud and I put the belt on my shoulder but I kind of, you know, left it... in... Anaheim. Well, I was in a rush. My mum died. You can let me off, right? But if I HAD the belt then this is where I’d be putting it on my shoulder, and I’d be proud. I’d be REALLY proud. I’d be proud because it doesn’t get bigger than this. There is no bigger chance than this. This is the showcase event, the one they’ll all remember, the one they’ll be talking about for another year to come, and next year at Autumn Effect 3 they’ll be putting in the blurbs for all the matches that ‘last year at Autumn Effect’ and it’ll be big and it’ll be meaningful and we’ll all feel that little tingle of electricity running through us when we read the blurb or we watch the hype video. You want to know a secret? I know what I want mine to say. Shall I try to do the voiceover voice? ‘Last year at Autumn Effect Lexy Chapel stepped in to the ring to defend the International Championship against Christian Kane in the match that many wrestling fans still say was the standout match of that show. The two gave everything they had but it was the plucky young Brit, fighting not for recognition but for pride and in the name of her mother, who overcame the odds and left Autumn Effect with an unprecedented fifty successful title defence’. Ok, so maybe my voiceover voice needs some work, but that would be pretty exciting, right?”

“Respect versus Redemption, that’s the way they’ve been marketing this one. It’s Lexy Chapel fighting for the respect of her peers against Christian Kane, a man who fell to the very bottom, who looked the devil in the eyes, who did battle with his innermost demons and who rose back up to superstardom. And what could top that story off any more than to finish it by saying that at Autumn Effect 2: No World For Tomorrow – I’m actually not sure what that line means, exactly, but it sounds pretty cool – Christian Kane’s redemption led him straight to the International title. It would be a great story. It would undoubtedly get the full voiceover work. And I wish I could wish that for you Christian because, and I don’t think this is much of a secret, I actually REALLY like you. I’ve faced some grade A jackasses in my time in EXODUS Pro already and I’ve been talked down to and told I’m not good enough and threatened and belittled and in all that time, all that time, do you know how many of those people asked me for a hug?” she asks before laughing. “Oh man, I REALLY like you, but there’s a problem. You want the epic voiceover. I want the epic voiceover. You want to be the new International Champion, and I want the arena to cry in unison along with David Zinkus ‘your winner and STILL International Champion’. And that gives us a little bit of a problem, doesn’t it? That puts us in the awkward position that we both can’t get what we want, and that sucks because, did I mention, I really like you!”

“You’re a really great guy Christian,” she says, nodding her head. “You’re a great guy and a fantastic wrestler, and I know that it’s been said before but you’ve been UNSTOPPABLE the last few months. I mean damn! You’ve been tearing through everybody. And you’re right, you’re absolutely right in everything you say, I’ve never faced a challenge like Christian Kane before. I’ve never faced someone of your ability, someone of your background, someone who’s done the things you’ve done. I’ve never faced anyone quite like Christian Kane, but honey you’ve NEVER faced ANYONE like Lexy Chapel. You see I’ve kind of heard the whole ‘you’ve not faced anyone like me before’ speech, and it’s a good speech. It gives me goose bumps. But the last time I heard that speech the guy who told me that I’ve never faced anyone like him before got beat by me, because never having faced anyone like him before kind of didn’t matter. The truth is that there’s a LOT of people I’ve never faced the likes of before. Hell other than my second match with Kerry Windsor – and yes, I’d never faced anyone like Kerry before – and my rematch with Johnny Cannon I don’t think I’ve faced the same guy twice yet, and I’ve had quite a few matches this year so that means there’s a LOT of people that I’ve never faced the likes of them before. So if you were hoping I’d get all intimidated then... err... sorry. I’m really sorry too! I could pretend to be intimidated if that would help? Or is that kind of just more insulting than it is helpful?”

“You want my title. You want everything you didn’t have before. You want the second chance. You want the big moment. You want that triumph that only comes from rising all the way up and achieving the impossible dream. What about rising all the way up and... mostly achieving it? What about fighting back against the monsters inside and... having a really awesome match with a really great girl? Would a hug help? I feel like a hug would help,” she says before beginning to laugh a little. “Ok, that was getting a bit demeaning, wasn’t it? I don’t mean to be demeaning Christian. The truth is that I love you. I respect you. I’m so excited to face you. But on Monday night I’ve got everything to prove – EVERYTHING – and I don’t want my first ever experience of Autumn Effect to be losing to anyone. On Monday night I’m going to step in to that ring and I’m going to go toe to toe with you. I’m going to go... well, I’d say face to face but you’re like six foot one and I’m five foot four so it’s more like face to... upper chest? It’s more like forehead to chin? Those don’t sound quite so great. We could get a box and I could stand on the box and then we’d be face to face, but I kind of feel like standing on a box might make it a little hard to do the whole ‘moving around the ring’ thing and, you may or may not know this but I do kind of like that whole aspect of wrestling. I’m pretty good at it too. And the ‘jumping off the top rope’ part of it. And the ‘taking the guy and dropping him on his face’ part as well. There are a lot of parts I’m good at actually. I’m pretty good at this whole thing. You know, International champion...”

She looks at her shoulder sadly and pouts. “Goddamn it, I wish I had my belt. This is definitely missing something without it, isn’t it?” she asks before laughing a little again. “Ok, time for business, no more joking. On Monday night I want to win. On Monday night I want to prove myself against the UNSTOPPABLE Christian Kane, the guy who’s torn through the roster. I want to go one on one with the man that can’t be stopped and I want the world to know that I’M the one who stopped him. Will that get me respect? I don’t know. But you know what it will do? It’ll give me a tremendous sense of pride. I’ll be SO proud to fight you, even prouder if I can find the way to BEAT you, and I’m not even just trying to make myself proud. I’m doing this for my mum. Like I said before I don’t know if she’s really looking down on me, but that’s a really nice thought and I hope she is. I hope she is so that SHE can be proud. I hope she is because there’s nobody in my life who’s ever supported me more, who’s ever believed in me the way my mum did, who ever made me feel like I could do IMPOSSIBLE things and I’m going to need to feel that way on Monday if I’m going to beat you Christian because it’s going to come close to being an impossible thing. So on Monday I’m not just fighting for me, I’m fighting for her, and I want to do something that I may end up regretting if I lose this, but I want to dedicate this match to my mum. I want to dedicate everything I do at Autumn Effect to her and to her memory. And I want her to know if she is looking down on me that I love her, that I miss her, and I’m that I’m going to take her advice.”

“She always did give the best advice. She told me to be myself, so that’s what I’m being. I’m done comparing myself to anyone else. I’m done wishing that I could have more than I do. I’m done listening to everyone who puts doubts in my head. I’m going to be myself, I’m going to be Lexy Chapel, I’m going to be her daughter and I’m going to find out how far that can take me because mum was always a realist, she always made absolutely sure that she kept her feet on the ground and she always made sure that everyone around her kept theirs on the ground as well, but there’s something else that she was as well. She was a dreamer. I’m a lot like her in that way. I dream big, and then I go out there and I try my damndest to make those dreams come true. Autumn Effect 2, Christian Kane against Lexy Chapel, Redemption versus Respect, International Championship, the biggest match I’ve ever had against a guy that I actually love, in my own special way. Win or lose Christian I want to give you a hug when this is over and thank you. Thank you for your kind words, thank you for always making me laugh whenever I log on to Twitter, thank you for CARING about this title because it seems sometimes there are so many who don’t, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry one of us has to lose, and I’m sorry that I’m going to do everything I can to make sure that one is you,” she says softly.  She goes quiet then and looks like the emotions that she’s been holding back the whole time are about to catch up with her as she looks up at the ceiling, although it doesn’t seem like it’s the ceiling that she’s really looking at, and blows a kiss upward.

She looks back in to the camera again after a few seconds wipes right eye to prevent any tears forming there. “So, sorry again that this wasn’t all it could have been but thank you. Thank you for sharing this with me. Thank you for listening. And if you care, then thank you for caring. It’s been a rough few days and it’s going to get harder next week without doubt but what doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger, right? Christian Kane already got all strong. Now I need to do the same,” she says before smiling at the camera. “Thanks for watching guys. Leave a comment, subscribe, like, err... do other stuff too? I don’t know, I’m not really at my professional best this week. Thanks guys. I’ll see you Monday, yeah? As always I’ve been Lexy Chapel and this has been a rather heartbreaking episode of the Chapel Show. Until next time, fuckers!”

She kisses her fingers before blowing the kiss at the camera and then taking a deep breath before she shuts the camera off. The video comes to an end there and the replay button flashes up on the screen.

The Chapel Show

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