THE CHAPEL SHOW
Episode: S02E05
Date: 29/03/2015

The video begins not in the normal surroundings that we’ve gotten used to since Lexy signed a contract offer last year and was able to move to Anaheim but rather in an entirely new set of surroundings. The room seems bigger even from the positioning of the camera. Rather than being dingy the walls behind her are perfectly crisp and freshly decorated. In front of the camera we see a new bed as well, rather than the old one that used to be in the apartment in Anaheim. Sitting in the middle of the bed, with a grin on her face, is none other than Lexy Chapel. She’s dressed in a black skirt that’s just pulled down far enough on her legs and a t-shirt that reads ‘Is It Sexy In Here, Or Is It Just Me?’ She smirks at the camera happily. “What’s up fuckers? I’m Lexy Chapel, this is the Chapel Show, and here… is my new place. What do you think?” she asks, holding out her arms to the side and looking around happily. “And if you think it’s Lexy Chapelimpressive from this angle you should see the rest of the house. Well, you actually kind of did already, or at least part of it. There have been a lot of changes in my life the last few weeks since Lucas took me under his wing, there’s a new place, a new company I’m working for and a whole bunch of new people who’ve seen the bottom of my boot up close and personal. Do you think it was good for them too?”

She smirks happily. “Because I’ll be honest with you, oh baby it was good for me,” she says before shaking in mock orgasm. “And everything that’s happened so far, ladies and gentlemen, really is just the beginning. You see Kat and me; we’re just starting out. And I like to think for two women that none of you took seriously – and c’mon, be honest, none of you gave a damn about us when we debuted in the Battle Royal, did you? You figured we were two new nobodies that you could overlook – we’ve made quite the impact in our first few weeks, and in our official debuts. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, Kat Kelly and Lexy Chapel started off the way that you all dreamed you could. Kat Kelly steps in to an IWC ring for the first time in singles action and she beats Julia Noel, and then little Lexy Chapel steps up and she beats your Queen of the Ring Champion, Marina Valdivia. Now c’mon, how many of you had Marina kicking my ass? How many of you were absolutely certain that there was nothing that could halt her momentum? How many of you underestimated this little Brit because she’s not been around forever, because she’s not a huge name, and because she’s just an Indy wrestler who finally has her big break? Well this is my big break, and I’m taking full advantage of it.”

She smiles proudly, nodding her head with obvious confidence. “In the old days this would be the part where I’d tell you how humbled I was to get in to an IWC ring, how exciting it was to perform in front of screams fans, how it was an experience that I never imagined I would have and blah, blah, blah, you know, all that normal rubbish you hear from all the suck-ups who don’t want to tell you the truth. The truth is that I’ve been imagining that moment for a long, long time. Since I was six years old I’ve been waiting on a chance not to perform in front of a few university students, not to fight in front of a few hundred idiots who want me to take off my shirt, but to fight on a world wide stage for the very first time. Since I was six years old I used to idolise the biggest and best names in this business and I used to tell my parents, my brothers, my friends and everyone else that would listen that one day I’ll be on the biggest stages and I’ll be making waves, and of course they nodded and they smiled and they told me they believed in me, but secretly they had their doubts. Well, the time for doubts is over,” Lexy says with pride and excitement. “And last week I didn’t just debut in a new company for the very first time, last week you got to witness the all new Lexy Chapel with a new attitude. Last week I even debuted a new move for the occasion…”

She smirks at the camera before tilting her head a little. “Hey Marina, how you feeling, huh?” she asks like she’s talking to a disappointed child. “Did I give you a little boo-boo? How’d it feel to get dropped on your head? Last week YOU were my statement. I promised I was going to make one, and I did. But as far as I’m concerned ‘Lexy Chapel beating the Queen of the Ring Champion’ wasn’t an upset. Oh no, it was the first victory of those to come. Now you can listen to that and think that that makes me overconfident. You can think that it’s all going to my head. You can think that Lexy just isn’t the girl that she used to be, that she’s got an ego, but you’re wrong. I don’t have an ego. I’m not standing here proclaiming myself the worlds greatest, am I? I’m not singing R Kelly lyrics at the top of my lungs. But what I am is tired of pretending that this isn’t everything that I want. I’m tired of being humble and being like ‘aw shucks, I can’t believe it either’ because I’ve put the goddamn effort in and you know what? I deserve it! Last week I deserved to drop Marina on her head. She underestimated me but I sure as hell didn’t underestimate her. I did the work. I studied her. And I knew what I had to do. You can tell me it wasn’t the most convincing win in history and I don’t give a damn. The record books got the result right, and it may have been the first but it won’t be the last.”

“Things are changing. People who didn’t know my name before have heard it now. But right now they see Kat and me as the students. Right now they see Kat and me as the protégés. They focus on Lucas Knight and Trinity Street and they look at the two of them, the legends, the veterans, the big names, but soon enough they’ll be looking at us. And guys and girls, I think it’s only fair to warn you that the ‘Superkick Soiree’ that we’ve been having just lately isn’t going to fade away. There’s a party atmosphere around here, can you feel it?” she asks before grinning from ear to ear. “Yeah, you can feel it. You can feel the change in the air. How many people have you seen come by here and tell you that they’re the future? How many people have you seen come by here and tell you that they’re going to take the IWC by storm? How many times have you heard the big promises from the chronic underachievers? How many times have you wondered if maybe, just maybe, this time this rookie is going to be right, and then watched as they failed? Well ladies and gentlemen I’ve got some good news because that’s not happening this time. This party isn’t going to end in disappointment. The momentum we’re building isn’t going to slip away in to nothingness. We’re on the road to something great, and we’re just getting started. This week we’re taking it up to a whole other level…”

“But before we talk about that, maybe it’s time to focus on a few other important things. You see I introduced myself to the world last week, and I gave you the first look at my tag team partner. Since then you’ve had questions. You want to know more about us. You want to know what makes us tick. And I’m not the kind who hides away from the world. Hell, I’ve never had that option. When I was four years old the cameras focused on me while my mum got her ass kicked in the ring and I watched from ringside. I never asked for that but I got it anyway. I’ve never asked for people to pry into my personal life just because my dad was a wrestler. I’ve never asked for people to start rumours about me, to call me names, to criticise everything I do just because my family were the ones in the spotlight. But I’m more than used to it by now. Now I don’t hide away. You want to see who Lexy Chapel is, well this is the Chapel Show, and it’s here to give you that insight. So, who is Lexy Chapel? She’s playful. She’s insecure. She’s happily married. She’s also got dreams for the future,” she says before nodding her head. “And this… ALL OF THIS… that’s what it’s about. It’s about my future. And I could show you video of me training. I could show you video of me working my little butt off. But I’m not sure you’d really enjoy that, so I figured what the hell, maybe you’ll enjoy the more playful side, and maybe you’ll learn something, huh?”

The Chapel Show

We cut from the nice, fresh home in Thousand Oaks to Lexy’s old apartment in Anaheim where we see her sitting looking straight in to the camera. She seems to be sat on her old bed. The room isn’t lit anywhere near as well. She has a curious look on her face as she turns the camera around to point toward the wall and then back again. “Ok, this definitely seems like it was expensive,” she says reasonably loudly, as though she’s talking to someone in another room. “I know I got that awesome signing bonus – must thank Lucas for that, by the way – but please tell me you didn’t go spending it all at once.”

“Would I do something like that?” comes the Nate Chapelreply from Nate, muffled slightly as though it’s through a door or a thin wall. “If I didn’t know any better I’d swear you didn’t trust me at all.”

“You know I love you babes, but when it comes to money you’ve not exactly gone a long way to earning any kind of trust,” Lexy reminds her husband before letting out a sigh. “I mean, the last time I trusted you with financial responsibility you almost maxed out the credit card buying a riding mower so you could enter the world of ‘competitive lawn mower racing’.”

“In my defence, I would have been a champion by now and made so much money if it wasn’t for that goddamn fire hydrant,” Nate replies, sounding dejected. “Seriously, who puts a fire hydrant there? It was stupid!”

“You mean on the pavement, where they go?” Lexy asks before rolling her eyes at the camera. “And on top of writing off the lawnmower, which you refused insurance on, we also got a fine for you damaging the hydrant.”

“True, but in my defence the insurance was definitely a scam. That salesman was just trying to get commission,” Nate says defensively. “But geez babe, that was one mistake!”

“One mistake?” Lexy asks in disbelief. “Oh so you want a list of mistakes now? Ok, what about the Nerf guns you bought so that we could ‘play real life Modern Warfare’ to figure out who was going to clean the bathroom?”

“I still say that was a sound investment,” Nate replies defensively. “If you’d tell me where the key to the cupboard was I’d prove it to you right now.”

“I locked them away for your own protection babes. Shooting yourself in the eye was hardly your greatest move, and I don’t even want to know what else you’d break if I let you loose with them again,” Lexy says before letting out another sigh. “Oh, and don’t even get me started on the ‘beach front holiday home’ that ended up being in a warzone.”

“I knew you’d bring that up. You know when that war is over that place is going to be worth a fortune,” Nate says immediately. “But ok, ok, one or two mistakes here and there, but you act like I’m a child who can’t be trusted with any kind of money. I’ll have you know that I can be damn responsible when I need to be. And just so you know, Little Miss Scrooge, the camera didn’t cost a damn thing.”

“Oh god, please tell me it wasn’t one of those ‘no money down’ offers where they end up charging you twice what it’s worth when the time limit expires. I thought we talked about those deals,” Lexy says with a sigh, looking in to the camera looking defeated. “I guess I just wasn’t supposed to have pretty things…”

“Fool me once, shame on me,” Nate replies shamefully before the tone in his voice perks up. “But no, I don’t mean it like that this time. I mean this time it is legitimately free. The company sent it over as part of their offer. They said that whether you accept or not the camera is still ours to do with as we want. I think they’re hoping for a few free plugs on the show or something. Of course I told them that we’re going to need time to think it all through, to consider any other offers and the like. I think once I told them that I was your new business manager they realised that I wasn’t going to be swayed by any of their cheap tricks.”

The look on Lexy’s face says more than a thousand words could. She looks completely confused by almost everything he just said. “Wait, what’s going on now?” she asks in complete amazement. “I swear I was only out with Kat for the morning, did we pass through some kind of rift in space time? Did I fall in to another dimension? What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Oh, right, yeah, I was meant to talk to you about that,” Nate tells her. “I swear I wrote that down on my To-Do list. But then I lost it, so I made another To-Do list and I guess I forgot to include it.”

“Is that list the piece of paper on the nightstand that says ‘find my other list’ on it?” Lexy asks, turning the camera to point at the sheet of notepad sized paper with those words scribbled at the top under ‘1’, with nothing else written underneath.

“Yeah, see, I told you I was going to keep more organised, right?” Nate says proudly. “That’s one New Years resolution I’m sticking to! But yeah, I guess it’s a good time to talk about it now. So, ever since you made your debut at the pay per view there have been a lot of phone calls and messages left for you. People know who you are now babes, and it opens up a whole new world for us. There are a lot of people interested in sponsoring the show. There are people calling about endorsement deals. It’s an exciting time…”

“Endorsement deals?” Lexy asks in disbelief. “Like, people want me to endorse their products? Seriously? They want me to endorse their stuff?”

“Why the hell wouldn’t they?” Nate asks defensively. “You’re on the road babe. You’re going to be huge. I’ve been saying that all along, now other people are saying it too. Trust me, by this time next year our lives are going to be unrecognisable.”

Lexy still looks shocked. “So, they actually want me to do like adverts and stuff?” she asks before a smile slowly forms on her face. “Oh god, remember that one that Lucas did for those trainers that you were supposed to wear without socks? I swear he said they turned his feet black for a week.”

“Ha, those things were all the rage at university after that advert,” Nate says, clearly reminiscing happily. “And yeah, ok, they perhaps weren’t the greatest product in the world but if I remember correctly didn’t Lucas buy like four cars with the money they paid him for that one endorsement?”

“Wasn’t he also named in the lawsuit when that kid had to have his foot removed?” Lexy asks nervously. “I’m not sure I’m cut out for that. I mean, we all know Lucas has no morals, but…”

“Well I’m not saying you need to do every product offer they come up with. I mean, we both know I would totally have taken the money from that sports company as well, but you wouldn’t have and that’s why I love you babe. You’re just better than I am when it comes to that kind of stuff. But that doesn’t mean that there aren’t some offers we can consider,” Nate tells her happily. “Plus, you know, I’m sure Lucas will help us out with the ones we should definitely be avoiding. And seriously, you should see some of the offers. These are only the first ones as well. I haven’t even started negotiating with most of them yet. And as your business manager—”

Lexy looks over in the direction Nate’s voice is coming from with a concerned look on her face. “Oh yeah, that reminds me, since when are you my business manager?” she asks in disbelief. “Seriously, isn’t that something we should have talked about? What happened to the movie? Did Cookie pull out again? Let me guess, she broke another boob…”

“She told me that her doctors said she was lucky to avoid surgery over that, I don’t know why you’re mocking it so much,” Nate says in defence of the woman he thought was going to be the star of his first ‘movie’. “But, yeah, I’m not sure where her head is at right now. One moment she’s totally in to the idea of starring, but the moment that I show her the new scripts she gets all uppity about it. Besides, I’m not sure I really like the creative direction that the movie has gone in…”

“It was about her killing vampires while barely dressed,” Lexy reminds him. “I’m not sure there was a ‘creative direction’ babes.”

“Hey, do I insult your life’s work? No, I do not. I’m supportive. The least you can do is support mine,” Nate tells her sternly. “But whatever, I’m putting the whole thing on hold for now. We’ll resume filming in a few months, maybe. Right now I’m just focused on my new role as your business manager. I see big things for you in the future babe. I’m going to work tirelessly to make all your dreams come true and give you everything you ever wanted.”

Lexy rolls her eyes again. “Speaking of which, did you think any more about Kat’s offer?” she asks him. We hear the sound of a toilet flushing and the sound of running water before Lexy turns the camera to Nate walking out of what we now realise was the bathroom, wiping his hands on his boxer shorts to dry them before scratching his nuts. “Hmm, classy babes.”

“I wouldn’t go in there for a while,” he says before grinning proudly at her. “But what were you saying?”

“Kat’s offer,” Lexy reminds him. His eyes light up for a moment before she lets out a long sigh. “No! I keep telling you; she’s not going to offer that! I don’t think she’s that kind of girl, and I know I’m not.”

“You’re just afraid of trying something new,” Nate tells her before grinning again. “Besides, it’s not like I wouldn’t be there to watch, to encourage, maybe to join in…”

“How’s about this? The moment that she tells me she wants to make lesbian love to me you’ll be the first one to hear about it, ok? But I was talking about her actual offer, you know, to move in to her place in Thousand Oaks? We were talking more about it this morning,” Lexy says, a little excitement in her voice along with what sounds like a lot of hesitation. “I mean, it could be a whole new chapter in our lives. I didn’t think she was really seriously, but she was the one who brought it up this morning. She needs to know what we think, but I said I couldn’t really give her an answer without talking to you about it some more.”

“Well, let me think about it for a moment. I already live with one hottie, you’re asking me if I want to live in a house with two of the hottest women in the world, rather than living in an apartment where if you listen closely enough you can hear the cockroaches plotting against us,” Nate says before grinning. “I think that’s a no-brainer babe. But it’s down to you.”

“Yeah, but if we leave now we’ll never find out what they’re planning,” she says in amusement. Nate grabs the camera off her and turns it around to point it at her. We now get a look at what she’s wearing for the first time and she’s dressed in just a pink t-shirt and her underwear, lying on the bed looking up at him with a hesitant look. “I mean, it would be amazing, and we do get on really well. And it would mean that we get to plan out a lot more stuff, that we can train together more, and that we can get so much more time to work on the tag team. But we’ve not known each other, and I have no idea how she’s going to react to you…”

“Me? Hey, I was on my best behaviour when you invited her over for dinner,” Nate replies defensively. “I didn’t put a foot wrong the whole night!”

“Exactly, you were incredible babes, but you know what that means, don’t you? That means she actually thinks you’re like a regular human being, and I’m pretty sure when she realises you’re not she’s going to kick us both out,” Lexy tells him playfully.

“You’re not worried about that,” Nate tells her.

She looks up curiously. “I’m not?” she asks with a little worry. “Then what am I worried about?”

“It’s obvious, you’re worried that she’s going to fall madly in love with me,” Nate tells her playfully. Lexy laughs and throws a pillow at him but he bats it away with ease. “Hey, you think it’s funny now, but when it happens you’ll finally realise just how damn irresistible I really am.”

Lexy lets out a sigh. “You are pretty hard to resist…”

“And when she does fall madly in love with me and she wants to join us in the bedroom then—”

Lexy just glares at him again. “How many more times? No!”

Nate laughs proudly, obviously enjoying messing with his wife. His tone then gets more serious as he sits down next to her. “Ok, you want to talk seriously about this? Then let’s talk about it! I know how you feel, babe. I know that you’re worried that it’s charity, and that you think you can make it on your own, and hell look at everything that’s happened so far. Ever since I got hurt you’ve carried to two of us financially despite the fact that you used to get paid practically nothing,” he reminds her, a sense of pride in his voice. “You’ve been crazy strong, and you’ve gotten all this way on your own, and I get that you’re worried about giving up on that. I get that you’re worried about letting anyone in, even Lucas, because you don’t want that taken away from you.”

“Yeah, well we didn’t take charity from my dad, we didn’t take charity from your mum, we made it this far on our own…” she says nervously.

“No, we made it this far thanks to you,” he says before grinning at her. “Hell, imagine how much further you’d have made it if it wasn’t for Lawnmowergate! And ok, that maybe wasn’t my greatest ever idea, but you don’t need to do everything on your own, babe. You said that she wants you there as much for her as for us, right? So that’s not charity. That’s accepting a bad-ass offer from a friend.”

“Would you do it?” she asks nervously. “Like, ok, say if Jacob came along and offered you a place to stay…”

“I would never accept an offer from Jacob Knight, but that’s mostly because I think you’d never sleep with me again if I did,” he says playfully before getting more serious again. “But it’s not about what I’d do, babe. This is your decision. I’m with you no matter what you decide, ok? You’re always the one thinking about the future, I’m just kind of stuck living in the moment… and besides, as your business manager I’ve got to say that it sounds like a good business move…”

She smirks at him. “I’m really not sure about this business manager thing.”

“Hey, why not? I’ve been all up in your business for a while,” he tells her proudly before she laughs again. “And whatever you decide, when this camera goes off we’re getting down to business!”

She grins at him before the grin fades and she lets out a nervous sigh. “I just don’t know.”

“So you don’t want to accept? That’s cool,” Nate says, nodding his head. “Besides, once these endorsements start rolling in we’ll have more money than we know what to do with.”

“Yeah, I’m sure,” she replies sarcastically. “And it’s not that I don’t want to accept, it’s more like… like… ok, so what happens if it all goes wrong?”

Nate reaches out and touches her leg supportively. “You’re always worried about what happens if the worst happens. Ask yourself this, what happens if it goes right?” he asks optimistically. “You two become the best damn tag team IWC has ever seen, you prove to the entire world what you’re capable of, and before long everyone knows your names, you become inseparable, and she becomes that sister you always said you wanted.”

Lexy looks more encouraged. “You know if we do accept you’re going to have to wear more than just boxer shorts around the house, right?” she asks with a smile. “And I’m pretty sure Kat won’t enjoy your naked breakfasts as much as I do.”

“Or she’ll enjoy them so much she’ll join in,” he says excitedly and she rolls her eyes again. “C’mon babe, don’t think about the negative, ok? For once in your life don’t look at an incredible opportunity and wonder what the catch is, grab hold of it with both hands.”

“Maybe you’re right,” she says a little more positively.

The Chapel Show

The scene cuts from the Anaheim apartment back to the house in Thousand Oaks where we see the inside of a well-decorated bedroom. It doesn’t seem to be the same room that Lexy was in at the beginning of the video however. The camera moves around the room slowly and then we hear giggling from behind the camera that can only belong to Nate. “You’d think she’d learn by now that when she tells me not to do something it only makes me want to do it more,” he tells the camera with a mischievous laugh. “Welcome to Operation Panty Raid. C’mon, I know you’ve all been wondering what her room looks like as much as I have, right? And trust me, girls hide all kinds of awesome shit in there. So, are you ready for this?”

He moves over toward the dresser and opens up the top drawer. We find a mix of underwear and bras in the top drawer, some of which look very functional and others of which, including the lacy pair that Nate picks up and shows to the camera, look anything but functional. He laughs and puts the panties back in to the drawer before feeling around inside it to see if he can find anything else. Disappointed after a moment of searching he shuts the drawer and opens the next one. This one seems to contain shirts. He looks around inside it briefly before shutting it and opening the next one down. This one seems to contain a lot of different sets of pants. “Ok, other than the lacy underwear I swear this woman doesn’t own anything feminine,” he tells the camera in disappointment before pulling out a pair of pants from the drawer. “Seriously, don’t you think these look like something a dude would wear? I should contrast this with Lexy’s. You wouldn’t believe the kind of stuff she has in there. Well, actually you would, she’s worn most of it on the show… except for the very, very naughty bits. Those are just for me. And maybe for you guys if you ask super nicely…”

He laughs to himself again and folds the pants back up before replacing them almost as if he never touched them at all. He goes in to the final drawer and we find sweaters and winter clothes. He shuts the drawer and the camera pans around the room slowly before settling on another chest of drawers over by the end. He moves toward them and reaches out for the top drawer before he freezes dead in his tracks as we hear Lexy’s voice in barely more than a whisper. “Oh god, what are you doing?” she asks. The camera spins around and we see Lexy standing in the doorway glaring at her husband. “I thought I told you this was a terrible idea…”

“And I thought I told you Operation Panty Raid had to go ahead,” Nate says with amusement. “Why are you whispering? She’s not even home!”

Lexy looks around for a moment before speaking in a more normal tone. “Err, yeah, I know that,” she says before shaking her head. “But that’s not the point. Why are you going through her stuff? You know she’s going to kill you – or worse she’s going to kill me – if she finds out you’ve been in here. And why are you filming it? It’s not like you can put it on the show, she MIGHT then notice you’ve been snooping through her stuff…”

“Hey, I want to give the world an insight in to just who Kat Kelly really is,” Nate says proudly. “It’s like when those guys on the Discovery Channel go into the habitats of new, interesting animals and they show off the animals in their natural environments. People eat that shit up babe. And you just know that the guys want to know more about her. Operation Panty Raid is going to introduce the real Kat Kelly to the world!”

“Operation Panty Raid is going to have you walking funny for a week when she catches you,” Lexy tells him. “And before you ask, no, I’m going to kiss your balls better when she knees you in them.”

Nate laughs. “Aren’t you the least bit curious what she’s got hidden in here?” he asks with a playful tone. “C’mon, I know you are. She’s secretive, she’s camera shy, she needs to lighten up more. The world needs to get to know what’s going on in that beautiful tomboy head of hers. And trust me, if you see her underwear then you know that she’s not a tomboy all the way to the core. She clearly likes her lady parts to impress someone…”

Lexy walks over and grabs the camera away from Nate. “Yeah, well I doubt she wants those lady parts to impress you,” she says dismissively. “If you’re going to snoop around at least don’t film it. I’m deleting this, and if she finds out you were in here I’m denying all knowledge.”

Lexy begins to walk out of the room and then we hear Nate sounding far more excited. “Oh babe, you need to see this,” he says excitedly. “I just hit the mother load. I swear this must be how David Attenborough feels when he’s filming Life Stories.”

“Whatever it is, you probably shouldn’t be seeing it,” Lexy tells him sternly.

“Ok, fine, I’ll be good, I’ll just leave the room and we’ll never talk about it again, or what kind of stuff she keeps by her bed,” Nate says playfully. It’s almost like something inside of Lexy is trying to be good and respect her friend, but then her mischievous side takes over and she turns back around again, pointing the camera at Nate. “You do realise she’s going to murder me if I’m involved…”

Nate grins. “Then don’t you want to see what I found before you die?” he asks playfully. When he speaks again it’s in a shocking good David Attenborough impression. “Here, in the wilds of Thousand Oaks, we find the native tomboy. To the outside world this tomboy looks like she’s uninterested in anything girly. She appears to be only concerned with dressing in really boring clothes. But, when you look a little closer, you find a freaky side to her that she hopes the world will never see…”

Lexy laughs, obviously enjoying her husband’s misbehaviour more than she should. “Oh god, she’s definitely going to kill me for this…”

Continuing in his David Attenborough impression Nate holds out a hand toward Lexy. “Come now as we take you in to the private, and sexy, world of the tomboy and we uncover her deepest fantasies,” he says, causing Lexy to giggle. She inches closer to the bed again as Nate smirks and reaches in to the drawer in front of him, picking out a black covered book with a picture of a woman in latex on the front. “Clearly this tomboy likes to read fantasy novels, something that isn’t uncommon amongst the sexually repressed. This particular novel seems to be well used. It makes you wonder how many times she’s flicked through these pages while also flicking something else…”

Lexy laughs again. “Well, a girl needs to have a little fantasy in her life.”

“I’m all the fantasy you need,” Nate tells her with a wink before returning to his David Attenborough impression. “Sometimes, when she’s alone, the tomboy gets incredibly horny. When this happens there is nothing she needs more than a good man – or woman, we don’t judge here at Operation Panty Raid or on the Chapel Show – but there are times when a man just isn’t available. What does the tomboy do when she’s all alone in a foreign land without a man to fulfil her needs? Simple, she fulfils them herself…”

He reaches down and picks up a pink dildo, waving it around in amusement. “Can you imagine if the BBC actually made a documentary like this?” Lexy asks with a laugh.

“Hey, I’m shocked Channel 4 didn’t go snooping through your drawers when they were making the one with your dad,” Nate says with a laugh, “especially after the episode where he walked in on you playing with yourself. If only he knew you were thinking about me…”

“Pssh, thinking about Brad Pitt is more like it,” she says before giggling again. “Seriously, I’d just watched Oceans 11 and… I was excited!”

“Oh, I see how it is,” Nate says defensively before smirking again. “Who do you think Kat thinks about while she’s…?”

“Why don’t you ask her?” Lexy says playfully. “I’d love to see how you’d bring that up. Knowing you, you wouldn’t even be subtle about it either. You’d wait for her to take a mouthful of juice and just ask her outright.”

“Why don’t you ask her right now?” Nate says, looking behind Lexy. She spins around and points the camera at an empty doorframe as Nate laughs to himself. “Wow, you’re too easy… which is what the guys used to tell me at university, ba-dum-tish!”

“You know I’m starting to hope she actually does hurt you now,” Lexy says, clearly not amused. Nate continues waving the dildo around excitedly. “Ok, would you put that back? This is beginning to get weird.”

“You should see what else is in here,” Nate says excitedly, putting the dildo back and picking up a set of handcuffs. “Do you think she’d let us borrow these?”

“I’m not sure I like metal ones,” Lexy says, slightly playfully.

“I was thinking more that we could play cops and robbers,” Nate tells her with a grin. “You know I’ve been very naughty…”

“You definitely have,” Lexy says in amusement before the sound of the front door shutting downstairs is heard and Nate laughs, quickly putting the handcuffs back and shutting the drawer. He leaps off the bed and we see him grab the panties from earlier and run out of the room laughing as Lexy follows. A few seconds pass as the camera pans down the hallway and then we see Nate back in their bedroom again holding the panties high with pride. Lexy laughs. “I can’t believe you just stole those…”

“It was Operation Panty Raid, that’s kind of the point,” he says with a grin.

Lexy holds the camera down away from her. “Ok, I’m deleting this before she finds it,” she says before Nate clearly snatches the camera away from her. “Oh c’mon, she’s going to murder us…”

“The world needs to see this footage,” he says while laughing. “Trust me babe, you want people talking about you two, right?”

“We want people taking us seriously as a tag team,” Lexy reminds him.

“They’ll take you seriously as two stunning sexy bitches if they see this,” Nate tells her happily. “Besides, this is proof that you tried to stop me and I’m just a terrible influence on you. I assume full responsibility for whatever happens. And it could be worse, I mean it’s not like we actually filmed her doing anything….”

“She’s going to kill you,” Lexy says again.

“I’ll tell her it was a smart business move,” Nate says proudly. “Trust me, as your official business manager I’m going to make sure everyone is talking about you…”

The Chapel Show

We cut back to the bedroom again and back to where we came in again, with Lexy sitting on the bed with a smirk on her face. “There’s some more stuff you should know about me,” she begins before laughing a little. “I like to have fun. Nate and me have a lot of fun together. That’s what the Chapel Show is all about. But there’s a time for the fun and the games and the laughs to end, and that time is when I step between the ropes. But I know what all of you think about. It’s the same thing Nate thinks about all the time. You think about me. You think about Kat. You think that since there are two women in a Lexy Chapeltag team they MUST spend all their time munching on each other’s carpets, right? I mean god, this is a company full of lesbians. We’ve got a lesbian who claims to be an Adrenaline Queen. We’ve got a whole FAMILY of them – like, seriously, I’m perfectly ok with it not being a choice and all, but when there’s three sisters who all get at it, well until a guy comes along anyway, then at that point it’s definitely a choice, right? I guess they choose to go down on women because no guy is interested – and we’ve got so many more who swing both ways. Honestly, most guys in the crowd must just see a new girl around here and assume she’s in on it too, and as much as a disappointment that it is to all the wankers out there I’m afraid this is one team that breaks with tradition.”

She shakes her head. “But the good news as far as you all go is that I don’t need to know Kat’s lady-parts intimately to have faith and trust in her as a tag team partner. And we may play around, we may be new at the whole thing when it comes to being friends, and perhaps right now we can’t claim to be the most cohesive, we can’t claim to be the most experienced, we can’t claim that we know what the other one is thinking before she thinks it because the truth is we don’t, we don’t have that bond – yet – but there is something we do have, and that’s hunger. We’re both looking to prove ourselves. We’re both looking to break away from our pasts. We’re both looking to establish ourselves as far more than in the shadows of our more famous friends and relatives. And this week on Riot we’re both going to have something else in common as well. We’re both going to have our hands raised up at the end of this match,” she says before nodding her head encouragingly. “But you doubt that, right? Of course you doubt that. Why wouldn’t you? Why would you believe me? I’m obviously going to tell you that. Well I could go find some friends to tell you the same thing. I could go parade around a bunch of people you don’t care about to tell you how good we are. Or we could do something else instead, and that’s prove it.”

“Maybe we don’t have that bond that the great tag teams of the past have quite yet. Maybe we’re still figuring out what kind of team we’re going to be. But what if this week we walk in to a four way match for the number one contendership to the tag team championships and we win this match WITHOUT that bond?” she asks before grinning at the camera. “What if we show that we’re good enough now to take on the supposedly best teams that IWC has to offer? We know that bond will form. We know that we’ll get closer and closer. Hell, we’re living in the same house now. We’re training together every day. We’re having fun with one another. We’re finding out each other’s secrets. That bond that makes a good team in to a GREAT team is going to come soon enough, but what if we can win this match BEFORE we have that? How good could we then be in the future? How good could we then be when we do form that bond? And I mean, it’s not like we’re out of sync. You’ve already seen the impact we’ve made together. In the Battle Royal we started the Superkick Soiree. In the Battle Royal we worked together better than anyone else. In the Battle Royal we started to prove that even before we’re fully unified we’re already a team, and now we’ve got even more time together. This week on Riot however we’re testing ourselves for the first time.”

“Now I could tell you that it won’t even be a test. I could sit here and mock the hell out of our opponents. I seriously could as well, the jokes I could make about Amanda Blayze alone would take up more time than I’ve got in this video, and that would just be about me mocking her nickname alone. Honestly, ‘the MMA Amazon’? It’s like she’s trying to get made fun of! Can you really claim to be an amazon when you’re five foot ten and there are plenty of women in this business – even in this company – who tower over you? And don’t even get me started on the fact that she clearly watched one too many episodes of Arrow and thought to herself ‘ooh, Huntress, that’s the perfect name, nobody will notice that I just blatantly stole that’,” she says before rolling her eyes. “I don’t get why so many people are desperate to do the whole nickname thing anyway, especially when most of them sound really, really stupid. But I’m getting off topic. I could sit here and make fun of her until the cows come home – speaking of cows, hi Brittany; we’re coming for those titles girl – but I’m not going to do that. I could sit here and tell you that none of them would be a challenge, but I’m not going to do that either. You see I may be an uppity little ‘fire cracker’ but I’m not an idiot. I know how dangerous someone like Amanda can be. Hell I know how dangerous most of the people in this match can be based on their experience edge alone!”

She pauses for a moment before grinning. “Ok, don’t get me wrong, I’m used to being one of the youngest in most situations. Ever since I started out people think I’m too young to do a lot of this. They think I’m ‘just a kid’ and that as a result of being ‘just a kid’ I’ll make mistakes. Guys like Danny Darko and Chris Davids must look at Kat and me and think it’s like pre-school just let out. Then again we both look at them and wonder how long it’ll be until they need hip replacements so, you know, it’s all relative. But I said it last week, I said it earlier, and I’ll say it again. I was born in to this business. I’ve been around veterans and legends of this sport for as long as I can remember. I can never remember a time when there wasn’t a guy taking my photo and there wasn’t a wrestling event that I had to do something to prepare for. I may not be in my late thirties but I already proved last week that age and experience don’t mean victory when I beat Marina, and so if Chris is looking down his nose at me – I love the theme dude, you have good taste in music, but unfortunately you have terrible taste in pretty much everything else – or if Darko and Mordecai are both looking down at us, both almost old enough to be our fathers, I want you guys to remember that you may have the experience, you may have the veteran instincts, but there was once a time when you were new and fresh and you took down the legends as well, wasn’t there?”

“I’m not disrespecting you guys because you’ve been doing this for a long, long time, but you shouldn’t look past the two of us just because we’re new. Every legendary career starts out somewhere, even yours, and this week the Future Legends are going to start out their tag team career the same way they started out their singles careers in IWC, with victory,” she says before smiling at the camera again. “And it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been doing this, how tough you are, how many titles you’ve won or how good the people say you are because the bigger you are – even if you’re seven and a half feet tall – the louder the thud is you make when you hit the ring after we knock you down! Now I’ve never faced a guy who’s seven and a half foot tall. I don’t even know how I’m going to do it yet, but I promise you something. Hey, Mordecai, can you hear me all the way up there dude? Listen up! I don’t know if I’m going to need a boost from Kat, or if I’m just going to have to spring off the ropes, but I promise you that this week no matter how big you are NOBODY misses out on the Superkick Soiree! What kind of party hosts would we be if we didn’t give everyone equal treatment?”

She laughs again confidently. “I like to have fun. I like to have a good time. And I like kicking people in the face. Hell, I’m getting paid really, really well to kick people in the face! So this week that’s the plan. I know all about all of you. I could talk for hours about Mya Denton and the successes she’s had inside or outside of this company. I could tell you why each team is a threat. I could tell you the very real possibility that Kat and I are going to get our little butts thrown all over this thing. But there’s only one thing that you need to know, and that’s that when the bell rings on Riot, when the number one contendership to the tag team titles is on the line, there’s only one thing you need to focus on and that’s the fact that this young little upstart team are ready and willing to do EVERYTHING we can to get what we want. You may think that we’re sexy, slutty little girls, and maybe that’s what we want you thinking, because maybe we’re you’re thinking about pink dildos and handcuffs we’ll be standing over the six of you with our arms raised and a shot at the tag titles in our futures,” she says happily. “This week we make our tag team debut and trust me guys and girls, we’ve got some Wicked Intentions! So, are you as excited as we are? Are you on Team Chapelly? Or are you guys the ones telling us we’re going to have our pretty little butts kicked? Let us know, rate, subscribe, and come back next time when maybe we’ll be throwing a victory party just for you. Until then I’ve been Lexy Chapel and this has been the Chapel Show! See you next time, fuckers!”

She winks at the camera before the video comes to an end and the replay button flashes up on the screen.

The Chapel Show

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