THE CHAPEL SHOW
Episode: S02E11
Date: 02/08/2015

The video begins and we find ourselves in the home of Lexy Chapel, Nate Chapel and Kat Kelly in Thousand Oaks, with the camera seemingly in possession of Kat Kelly. She’s standing next to a large mirror and has the camera in one hand but focuses it on the reflection in the mirror where she’s clearly examining a large welt on her head. She touches it and immediately reacts in pain. “Goddamn it that hurts,” she mutters as she continues focusing on the welt. “I still can’t believe she did that.”

“You feeling any better?” comes the voice of Lexy from another room as Kat continues examining her injury. “You didn’t tell me what they actually said. Are they even going to let you compete next week? You know we have that whole ‘Unscripted’ thing this week, right? That could be bad…”

Kat lets out a long sigh. “They said they’d need to assess me next week, but considering they said I failed the concussion test it doesn’t look good,” the young Brit admits before letting out a long sigh. “If they don’t let me compete then I’m not sure what that means…”

“Did you see the fucking replay?” Lexy asks. We see her walking into the room behind Kat as we see her reflection in the mirror. “I mean seriously, did you see that shit? She hit you hard! I’m not surprised you didn’t pass a test. She knocked you for six. Fucking bitchy way to do it as well, I mean a kendo stick? I’m about to pin Katelyn, get revenge, and little miss ‘hero’ comes in swinging with a damn kendo stick?”

“Believe me, I know what she did,” Kat groans, touching her head again. She then turns to Lexy. “How’s your back anyway? It was already all messed up after what happened before, your shoulder has to be killing you.”

“Oh yeah, I’ve just had Nate giving me a massage and icing it for me. He offered to give you a massage as well, but he said the condition is that you’ve got to take your top off,” she says before laughing a little. Kat looks less impressed by the idea. “You’ve got to give him credit for trying. He’s absolutely sure that it’s going to work one day…”

Kat rolls her eyes. “You can tell her that I’ll pass,” she says before shaking her head. “How’s your back though? You’ve got to be looking better than me right now.”

“Oh, you didn’t see yet?” the redhead asks before turning around and lifting up her shirt. We see that she’s not wearing a bra under her shirt and lifts up the shirt over her shoulder. We see that her shoulder has a welt on it as well and is all bruised. “I swear, one week I’m going to get through a show without someone hitting me in the back or dropping me on a title or… seriously, all these supposed ‘good’ people doing this shit and they say WE’RE the bad guys here?”

“Ouch, damn, that looks painful,” Kat says, reaching out toward it before Lexy pulls her shirt down again and turns back around. “Sorry. Are you going to be ok? It’s got to be painful to sleep with that…”

Lexy shrugs. “Oh, sleeping is no problem. I don’t sleep on my back anyway, I sleep on my side,” the redhead says before letting out a sigh. “It’s sex that’s the problem. I may not sleep on my back but goddamn it if I don’t get fucked on it.”

Kat lets out a long sigh. “Somehow I just knew you’d make this about sex,” she groans. “Seriously, can we not have one conversation that isn’t about sex? Every time I turn the camera on… I swear you’re doing this on purpose now!”

“A conversation that isn’t about sex?” Lexy asks, shaking her head. “Where’s the fun in that? So, ok, let me tell you about last night, right? My back is killing me, and Nate obviously wants to celebrate – and I did too – so we’re on the bed and—”

“Oh god, I don’t want to hear this,” Kat says, talking over her tag team partner’s story. “La-la-la, c’mon, please talk about something else…”

“—although I will admit one thing,” the redhead continues, now we can hear the continuation considering Kat’s stopped trying to talk over her, “it did make it so much better when I—”

“Oh for the love of god, I’m not filming anything anymore,” Kat screams before the scene cuts out and we fade to black.

The Chapel Show

We cut from there to the Chapel’s bedroom. This appears, much like all the segments filmed by Lexy in a similar style, to be considerably more recent than the video filmed by Kat, which presumably took place close to two weeks ago after another successful title defence by Wicked Intent. Lexy sits on the bed with her hair hanging loose and a t-shirt which reads ‘Sex Is Not The Answer. Sex Is The Question. ‘Yes’ Is The Answer’. She has in her hands her IWC Tag Team Championship that she turns over to show to the camera before beginning. “So, you’ll have to forgive me for not listening to everything that was said two weeks ago regarding our defence of the IWC Tag Team Championships but I’m pretty sure I know Lexy Chapelhow it went. It went ‘blah, blah, blah, Wicked Intent are going to lose, new tag team champions’, and probably some gloating about the first time out, am I right? Yeah, you know I’m right. So, and you know that I just hate to give bad news, but… well look what I’ve got here,” she says before patting the tag title and smirking at the camera. “That’s right, and on that note I’d like to say what’s up fuckers? I’m Lexy Chapel, this is the Chapel Show, and Wicked Intent are still your IWC Tag Team Champions. And we told you so!”

She nods at the camera. “We did, you know. We definitely told you so,” she says before grinning widely and putting the tag title belt over her shoulder. “But, before we go on, I’ve got some terrible news about this week. This week is Unscripted, and that means ANYTHING can happen, but… one thing we know that WON’T be happening is that you WON’T be seeing Wicked Intent in action. I know, I know, I was upset too but did you SEE that kendo stick shot that Kat Kelly took two weeks ago? That knocked her out cold, she had to see the medics after the match, and worse than that they still won’t medically clear her for competition this week. Now here at the Chapel Show we know how much you fuckers just ADORE seeing Wicked Intent in action, but I’m afraid this week you’re just gonna have to miss out. The good news, however, is that Kat should be back and raring to go in two weeks for Awakening. And speaking of Awakening, that brings me to my first subject for this week’s Chapel Show. Why the fuck aren’t we on the poster? I know, we’re still pretty new and everything but seriously, have you SEEN the shit we’ve been through? In our past five matches we’ve defended the IWC Tag Team Championships three times! Three fucking times! And last week I’ll be damned if I didn’t just drop the number one contender to the World title on her head.”

“Now yeah, I know, this is the part where you normally hear all the shit about how I dropped Katelyn Buehler and that makes me better than her and I demand this, or I demand that, and blah, blah, fucking blah, but c’mon, do you really think so little of me? Do you really think that I’m going to give you one of THOSE clichéd bullshit promos where I start demanding every opportunity under the sun just because we straight up owned Katelyn? No. You don’t need to worry. This isn’t one of those moments where I start demanding title matches. You see I have a title. I have this,” she explains, patting the IWC Tag title proudly, “and this is the single most goddamn important thing to me. So I’m not about to demand a shot at anything else because I already have what I want, but that doesn’t change the fact that two weeks ago the so-called best stepped up against Wicked Intent thinking they were going to walk straight over us and what happened? Taylor hopped out of the ring on one leg after swinging a kendo stick at the both of us when she realised she couldn’t handle Wicked Intent and Katelyn didn’t hop out of the ring at all, she was rolled out of the ring after we knocked her the fuck out. So I’m not asking for title shots, I’m asking for a little goddamn respect!”

She stares at the camera for a moment before letting out a long sigh and shaking her head. “Eh, look at who I’m addressing right now. You fuckers probably don’t even know the meaning of the word. But I do. And let me tell you a little something about battling for respect in this business, because I know how it feels to be right at the very, very bottom. I’ve been there. I know how it feels to leave an arena beaten to hell after a match and the only place you’ve got to sleep that night is the back seat of your car. I know how it feels to work a second job just to pay your way to making it in this business because motherfuckers I worked as a goddamn waitress just to pay my rent! I know how it feels to be all the way at the bottom of this business and two weeks ago despite everyone looking down their noses at Wicked Intent like we were nothing to any of you we stepped up against the supposed best in the business and we kicked all kinds of ass! So what I’m asking for is a little acknowledgment of that. Do you think you can do that for me?” she asks before laughing in an over exaggerated way and shaking her head. “Oh fuck no, of course you can’t! And honestly, it’s not even surprising to me anymore. It’s really not. I spent so long in this business looking up to people, respecting people, paying my dues and earning my stripes, and all I did was just waste my damn time!”

“Luckily for me, Lucas came along and helped me realise the error of my ways, and here we are today. So I’m no longer sleeping in the back of my car, I’m no longer getting paid for shows less money than the fuel cost to drive myself there, I no longer need to bust my ass working two jobs to pay my rent, and The Chapel Show is seen by viewers around the world each and every week. But still, as good as things have gotten, they’re just not quite where they need to be, are they?” she says, taking in a deep breath and letting it out as a long sigh. “Now you guys who follow me on Twitter already know this but you guys who don’t probably need to be informed. There’s a new phenomenon hitting the Internet and it’s simply this: BELIEVE IN LEXY! Those of you who do are being rewarded. Those of you who don’t are finding themselves disappointed more often than not. So, are you tired of feeling that disappointment? Are you tired of feeling the disappointment you felt when Tay-Tay and Kay-Kay failed to win the tag team titles two weeks ago? Are you tired of living in denial? Then it’s very simple. You too can join the movement. All you’ve got to do is Believe In Lexy! And if you guys want to give it a trial run then why not try this week? Why not this week when Riot goes Unscripted? Anything can happen, or so they say, but one thing you can guarantee is that by the time the night is over you will Believe In Lexy!”

She nods her head and puts down the tag title, reaching over and grabbing a banner that she holds up in front of herself. On it is written ‘#BelieveInLexy’ which she holds up to the camera and nods her head before putting it back again. “So, if you want to avoid the epic disappointment of hoping against us only to watch your heroes fail then it’s simple: make us your new heroes. And believe me, I know about disappointment. Oh yes, I really know about disappointment. Take a few weeks ago, for example. That had to be one of the most disappointing moments of my young life,” she says before pouting and letting out another sigh, then looking into the camera and shaking her head. “No, I’m not talking about losing to that cheating no-good asswipe Andre Jordan. I’m talking about the disappointment I had in my own family. I’m talking about the disappointment of finding out I’m not who I thought I was. I’m talking about the disappointment of learning that my mother was an even bigger whore when she was younger than I already knew. And then, on top of that, the disappointment from after that when I talked to a legend, a man I really genuinely respect and love in Jacky Knight, and… well, he knows who my father might very well be. Yeah, I think you know him too. And in truth I’m not really sure how to feel about that yet. Lucky for me there are plenty of people who’ll tell me exactly how to feel, am I right?”

The Chapel Show

We cut from the bedroom and Lexy sitting on her bed to some point that, one would guess, is over a week ago. We see Kat Kelly disappearing past the camera, Lucas Knight climbing out of the car directly in front of the camera, and Nate Chapel struggling at the back of the car to pull all the various bags from in the trunk out. “Goddamn it, who needs this many bags for a weekend?” he groans, trying to stack them up on the trolley to wheel them into the hotel. “And why am I doing this? Don’t they have people do to this for you?”

Bizarrely it’s not Nate and his struggles that the camera is focused on but rather the whole surrounding area of the hotel as Lexy slowly pans the camera around before taking in a deep breath in amazement and happiness. “Can you actually believe this? We’re really in Canada,” she says excitedly before focusing the camera on Lucas. “Lucas, we’re REALLY here! You have no idea how much I appreciate you bringing us.”

“Yeah, well, it’s Rise to Greatness week and it’s time for you and Kat to see how the pros get the job done,” he says with a grin, grabbing his SCW World Tag Team Championship belt Lucas Knightfrom the car and putting it over his shoulder with pride and then looking back over his shoulder toward Nate disapprovingly. “Be careful with those bruv. If you break anything you’re paying for it.”

“You know there’s a guy right there…” Nate groans, pointing off-camera presumably at one of the bellboys that we saw as Lexy was panning the camera a moment earlier. Both Lucas and even his own wife don’t even seem to notice his objects though. “Seriously, Lucas, bro… you’re not really making me carry these, are you? Lucas?”

Lucas walks over toward Lexy and we see him put his arm around her shoulder proudly and begin leading her into the hotel. The hotel is luxury personified as well, and Lexy continues filming and pans the camera around in amazement as she walks inside. “Oh wow, this is so awesome…”

“Well you know us, the Monarchy travel in style,” Lucas tells her with a laugh. “I’m glad you’re having fun. But, since we’re alone for a minute there’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you.”

“Yes, I would totally sleep with you if I could stay in hotels like this,” Lexy informs him casually.

Lucas just laughs. “Well, that’s good to know, but it wasn’t actually what I was going to say,” he informs his young protégé. “I wanted to ask if you’ve… err… did you… how do I phrase this? Did you talk to your dad yet?”

“You mean my fake-dad? No, I didn’t talk to him yet. In fact I’m pretty sure I’m not talking to him at all,” Lexy replies dismissively, clearly still angry about everything that’s transpired. Lucas seems uncertain around the issue, likely because of the ramifications of what his father told them both before. “He lied to me for so many years Lucas. They all did! I don’t want to talk to any of them ever again!”

He nods understandingly. “Yeah, I can see why that’d be the case,” he tells her softly and reassuringly. “You know, over the years I found out plenty of stuff about my dad that made me want to punt him in the skull, so I understand what you’re going through better than you think. But… well, I didn’t tell Trin about last week yet. I don’t want to tell her until we’re certain.”

“You know that I posted the whole thing on the Internet, right?” Lexy asks, shaking the camera around as though she’s trying to prove that she’s even filming right now. “She’s kind of going to find out eventually. In fact I’m a little upset she doesn’t know already, but I guess she’s got plenty of her own stuff going on and everything…”

“Exactly, she has, we all have and I’m not sure we need this complicating anything right now,” Lucas tells her in a very big-brotherly way. “You and Kat have got some serious stuff going on. You two were incredible last week. Trin and me have got a lot going on, especially on Sunday. Chris and Kelcey have got a lot going on. And if there’s one thing I’m sure every single one of us can agree on it’s that we’d all like to kick that old man’s teeth down his throat, permanently! So I know how much you’ve got to be hating your father right now—”

“He’s not my father,” Lexy interrupts to state.

“Yeah, well whatever you want to call him, your ‘fake-dad’, you need to talk to him and find out if what my dad said could even be slightly true,” he tells her before shaking his head. “Because, you know what? I don’t want this getting complicated. Do you understand me? The one thing we cannot afford right now is for this to get complicated. And quite frankly if this does all come down to a blood test… well, by the time Trin is done with the old man there’s going to be plenty of blood for you to choose from.”

Lexy laughs for a moment at the comment, but the laugh quickly fades. “I can’t talk to him Lucas. I just can’t,” she confides softly. “Please don’t make me do it. It doesn’t matter whether Jacky’s right or not. It doesn’t! You know how much I owe you. I owe you my whole career right now. I wouldn’t have a job in IWC if not for you, I’d still probably be cleaning up kiddie vomit and sucking up to complete asshats to try and get a decent match. The fact I’m not doing that is totally down to you. So you know I owe you, and next to that why does it even matter if Jacky was right?”

Lucas just stares at her for a long moment before nodding his head knowingly. “We both know that it matters to you, even if you don’t want it to matter,” he tells her. “Just figure it out, ok? I don’t care how you do it. I don’t care if you find another way rather than calling Damien and asking him. Just figure it out before I have to call him and ask him myself, because it won’t be good for any of us if this shit gets out of control because your mum couldn’t keep her damn legs closed.”

“That’s my mum you’re talking about,” Lexy mutters, clearly a little unhappy. Lucas gives her another look and she gets even quieter in her response. “I’m not saying you’re wrong, I mean she was apparently a big old whore, but… she was still my mum.”

Lucas sighs and nods his head, as though he understands. “Just figure it out, ok?” he says before patting her on the back and looking down behind him again. Lexy turns the camera and we see Nate struggling with the bags as he makes it through the front door. Lucas just looks down at him disapprovingly. “C’mon bruv, what’s taking so long?”

“What’s taking so long?” Nate asks in disbelief. Lucas doesn’t respond and just walks off as we hear Nate muttering more as he drags the bags along. “What did they pack in these fucking things, bricks?”

We hear Lexy sighing before she begins to walk toward the reception area. She seems to grab something out of her pocket, which we catch a glimpse of as she untangles it revealing it to be an SCW backstage pass, and puts it around her neck before one of the women behind the reception desk walks over. “Hi there, can I help you?”

“Hi, I’m with SCW and I’m documenting the weekends events,” Lexy begins, flashing the badge at the employee. “I just got done talking with Lucas Knight over there, and my producers wanted me to catch up with CHBK before his huge match. Could you tell me what room he’s staying in? I was supposed to remember it and if I call my producer then he’s going to get really mad…”

The woman nods understandingly. “I’ll just find out for you,” she promises before tapping something into the computer. “I don’t have anyone under the name CHBK listed…”

“Oh, sorry. His name is Desoubrais,” Lexy says, hesitating for a moment as she says the name, clearly feeling the potential weight of it. “Alex Desoubrais.”

“Ok, let me just check that…” she says, waiting a moment before looking up. “I’m sorry. It says here that Mr Desoubrais hasn’t checked in yet. Maybe his plane hasn’t arrived yet?”

Lexy seems to consider that for a moment. “Yeah, maybe,” she says nervously. “Thanks for your help.”

She steps away from the counter and bumps into Nate, knocking something that he was carrying to the ground. Nate grumbles as he looks at her. “Goddamn it,” he groans. Lexy spins the camera around and we see a small leather bag on the ground which doesn’t seem to be very heavy. Nate, however, is clearly overwhelmed with all the luggage. “A little help here babe?”

“Oh of course, sorry babes,” Lexy says sympathetically before reaching down and picking up the bag, holding it out for Nate to take in his mouth. Nate just stares at her in disbelief for a moment before taking it and Lexy, seemingly so distracted by everything else, just walks off and leaves her overwhelmed husband carrying all the luggage. “See you later babes, I’ve got to go find Kat…”

The Chapel Show

We hear Nate grumbling in disbelief as Lexy walks off with the camera. We then cut to another location, inside the busy airport, where we first of all see Kat Kelly walking in front of the camera, with Lexy clearly behind it once again. “Ok, so explain this to me one more time, because right now I’m thinking you’re a completely crazy person,” Kat tells her friend as they walk through the airport. “You Kat Kellywon’t call Damien, so instead you’re going to… confront CHBK? What are you going to do exactly? Are you going to walk up to him and say ‘hey, smile at the camera, I might be your daughter’!”

“I, um… shut up, I didn’t think that far ahead,” Lexy tells her friend angrily. “Lucas says I need to deal with this, ok? He says I need to deal with it. Because, you know, they all hate the guy, and Lucas probably thinks I should find out for certain if he IS my father before they fucking MURDER him! So… I don’t know, maybe I’ll just know? Maybe when I see him I’ll just… know?”

“I’m pretty sure that’s NOT how it works,” Kat informs her softly. “I mean, you realise he’s got to meet thousands of fans a year, right? The last thing he probably wants is some little redhead harassing him at the airport.”

“Yeah, I know that, but… what do you want me to do, Kat? Seriously, I have no idea what I’m doing here. Ever since Jacky told me that he could be my dad I can’t stop thinking about it! I mean I know there’s a chance that he didn’t. Just because he tagged with my mum on one show doesn’t mean that he slept with her. But… what if he did?” the redhead asks nervously. “I just can’t get the whole thing out of my head. He could be my dad. And if he is…”

“Yeah, if he is, then what?” Kat asks, sounding a little nervous herself. “You know I love you but… we’re talking about family here.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Lexy asks, sounding a little angry that she wouldn’t have known that. “I mean fuck, do you think I want him to be my dad? He’s the last person I want to be my dad! How fucking complicated would that get? Every single person I know basically hates him! I’d prefer to find out Sparkles was my fucking father than CHBK is, but…”

Kat stops and laughs at that thought. “Oh god, that would be weird,” she mutters. “You’d be half puppet…”

Focus Kat, focus,” Lexy says sternly.

“How do you suppose he’d even have sex?” Kat muses before laughing. “Then again he is always talking about his Willie…”

“How hard did Taylor hit you with that kendo stick?” Lexy asks in disbelief. “I mean seriously, I thought I was meant to be the—oh fuck… oh shit, that’s him!”

She focuses the camera in the distance on CHBK and a blonde with him. The camera begins to shake a little, presumably from Lexy herself shaking as she stares at the man who could very well be her biological father. Kat turns and looks in the same direction as Lexy and then looks back toward Lexy. “What are you going to do?” she asks softly. “I mean, it’s not even like he’s alone…”

“I don’t know,” Lexy admits before taking a deep breath and handing the camera to Kat. “Here, hold this.”

Lexy hands Kat the camera and then we see the redhead walking across the airport toward where CHBK and the blonde with him are collecting their luggage. Lexy keeps looking back over her shoulder toward Kat and then nervously walking back toward CHBK again. She’s clearly more nervous than we’ve ever seen her before. She looks over at Kat again just as she then walks straight into CHBK as he begins walking in the opposite direction, knocking her flat on her back. The woman snaps at her and CHBK turns to help her up. He says something to her and she says something back, although we can’t make out exactly what. When she’s back on her feet however she quickly dashes off and we see Kat following her with the camera. After a few moments, when it becomes obvious that Lexy didn’t say anything of importance to him, Kat begins to walk over to her as Lexy’s holding her head, clearly angry at herself. “What happened?” Kat asks softly. “I mean I saw what happened. What’d you say to him?”

“I said…” Lexy says before shaking her head angrily. “I said I wasn’t watching where I was going. Oh god, that was pathetic. I just… I froze. I got so nervous and I just…”

You got nervous?” Kat asks with a laugh. “You’re the girl who talks about sex on the Internet, who makes jokes about what positions she likes it in, and about how big her husbands dick is, and you got nervous?”

“Yeah, I got nervous,” she says before hanging her head again. “Oh god, what the hell am I going to do? Seriously Kat, what the fuck am I supposed to do? I mean I thought… I don’t know, I know it’s so stupid but I just hoped that if I met him I’d feel something, you know? But actually meeting him was… I mean he’s a fucking legend! He’s been doing this FOREVER! I remember growing up and sitting at home and sneaking downstairs to watch shows that he was on, you know? I remember watching him fighting in a ladder match one time and being so amazed at the stuff he did and the crazy ways he came up with to use a ladder, like stuff I’d NEVER seen before, and thinking how smart he must be, and how innovative he was, and… I mean fuck, if it wasn’t for guys like him then we certainly wouldn’t be doing what we’re doing today! If it wasn’t for guys like him this business would still be all about giant assholes picking up other giant assholes and slamming them down and people thinking THAT was entertaining. That’s not entertaining, that’s boring as ass!”

Kat laughs. “I thought you said you were done with all your fan-girl respect stuff,” she says playfully. “Didn’t you tell me that?”

“Yeah well, fuck you, I said that to you too,” Lexy says before sliding slowly down the wall she’s leaning against until she’s sitting on the floor with her back still against the wall. She looks up at Kat, and the camera, and shakes her head. “This is different, ok? This isn’t like me acting like a total mark because I got to meet Jonathan Collins in person. This is about… he could be my dad, Kat. He could be my dad and I don’t even know how I’m going to find out if he is. Like you said, what am I going to do, walk up to him and ask? Yeah, that’s not happening!”

“Well there could still be another way,” Kat says softly. “I mean ok, maybe this is just the concussion talking, but I might have a plan. You said that that receptionist thought that you worked for SCW, right? And we know that this is Rise to Greatness week, and there’s going to be tons of reporters and whatever else interviewing people all week long. I bet you with all that attention they don’t even check who the people are who are interviewing them. Seriously, I bet you if you get a convincing enough cameraman and a microphone you could just walk straight up to him one day and start asking questions and he’d talk to you no problem… but then again my head does still feel pretty fuzzy after Riot so maybe I’m talking nonsense.”

“You’re not talking nonsense,” Lexy tells her friend, standing up and kissing her excitedly. “Kat Kelly, you are a genius, and if I ever tell you any different… then I’m probably right at the time. But at this moment you’re a fucking genius!”

The Chapel Show

We cut away from the airport and Kat holding the camera to a shot of Lexy dressed up in a smart business style suit. The camera is Nate Chapeltrained on her as she flicks her hair out of the way, waiting in what seems to be a designated interview area. From behind the camera we hear Nate’s voice. “How do you even know this is going to work?” he asks. “You really think he’s going to talk to us just because you say you’re a reporter?”

“That’s kind of the plan,” Lexy says with a nod of her head. “Maybe it’s not the best plan in the world but fuck, we only had a few days to do something and this isn’t a damn Mission Impossible movie. It’s not like we can get full covers and fake IDs in two freaking days!”

“What if he doesn’t talk to us?” Nate asks in a worried tone.

“Then he doesn’t talk to us, but he’ll talk to us,” Lexy says confidently, taking a deep breath as someone begins to walk down the corridor. That someone, conveniently enough, is none other than the legend himself. As he’s about to walk past Lexy practically ambushes him. “Hi, CHBK, have you got a minute to talk? It’s a huge week and there are so many fans out there in the wrestling world who want to know your thoughts, your feelings, and how excited you are to be competing at another Rise to Greatness event!”

“I’m actually on my way to do another interview right now,” he tells her dismissively before stopping and looking at her oddly. “Have we met?”

“Maybe I’ve interviewed you before?” Lexy responds nervously. “I’m Lexy, I work for… um… 4CW.”

“4CW?” CHBK asks, raising an eyebrow curiously. “I remember those guys, they ran a news website. I thought that whole thing shut down.”

“It did. It did. But, um, they’re bringing it back bigger and stronger than ever before and the first really big story they’re going to be covering is Rise to Greatness,” Lexy says, obviously still nervous but doing a convincing enough job of lying to him. “And, you know, we’re all really big fans of you and everything you’ve done for the business. I mean, you’re a legend! You’re an honest to god legend in this sport, and we all have a huge amount of respect for you, so what do you say? Spare us a few minutes and answer a couple of questions?”

He laughs and hesitates for a second, looking down the corridor at where he was obviously intending to go before checking his watch and smiling. “Ok, I’ll give you a minute, but only because I get the feeling you’re not going to leave me alone if I don’t,” he says with another laugh. “So what do you want to ask me? Better make it good.”

“Oh, it’s going to be good. It’s going to be great. Thank you so much for doing this! Ok, my first question, my first really important question… um… this Sunday you’re competing at another Rise to Greatness event and your opponent is a man you have so much history with, Shilo Valiant, so tell me, CHBK, sir… in the nineties how often did you wrestle overseas?”

CHBK just looks confused by the sudden change in direction of the question. “ExCHBKcuse me?” he asks, as though he’s not sure he heard properly. “You were just asking me about Rise to Greatness…”

“Yeah, I was, but… well… our fans are historians! They care a lot about the history of the wrestlers, and you’ve got such an interesting history it would seem crazy if I didn’t ask you a little about it,” Lexy says, covering herself reasonably convincingly, at least enough that CHBK doesn’t grow too suspicious. “And, you know, I’m English and a lot of our viewers are English, and many of them probably saw you competing all over Europe back in the day, like say in 1993, for example. Do you remember much about that year?”

“Do I remember much about 1993?” he asks, puzzled and slightly amused by the question and the unusual interview, obviously expecting something else entirely. “I remember some about it, yeah. I actually started the year off with a pretty big tour of Europe, if I remember. There were some big events going on back then.”

“Big events, huge events in fact,” Lexy says, nodding her head in agreement. “Events like, off the top of my head, a whole three-day weekend of wrestling that took place in February. So many of our older viewers may have attended that show, in fact for some of them it may have been their first experience of American wrestlers fighting home-grown talent. How much do you remember about that weekend and your involvement?”

CHBK smiles at her. “It was a long time ago, and from the way you’re talking about it you seem to remember more about it than I do,” he says, obviously still finding the questions out of the ordinary and mildly amusing, perhaps even enjoying the change of pace from all the questions he must have answered recently about Rise to Greatness. “Let me think. I remember going there. I remember how passionate the UK fans were. I think I had a match on the Saturday and a match on the Sunday. On the Sunday I faced… I can’t remember who it was, actually, but I remember it being an important match for me at that point.”

“Oh, absolutely, I’m sure it was a huge match for you,” she says, nodding her head in agreement. “What about the Saturday? Do you remember who you faced then, or perhaps even whom you teamed with? Our researchers told us that you fought alongside a… a British wrestling trailblazer.”

He thinks about it for a moment before laughing and nodding. “Yeah, I think I did, actually. Panther, right? I remember her. She was good. Very talented! Set the stage for a lot of the women who came after her on the British wrestling scene,” he says, nodding his head. “I’m sure there are a lot of young women coming through now who owe a great deal to her.”

“I’m sure there are,” Lexy agrees, nodding her head. “I know that she was a huge influence on my life, you know, as I grew up and everything. She was a real legend back home, much like yourself. Did you know she passed away last year? How much do you remember about her?”

He looks genuinely surprised to hear that. “She passed away? Oh, I didn’t hear about that,” he says, shaking his head a little. “I had a lot of respect for her, and for her family. There was even a little period where maybe I’d have considered her a friend, but as time went on we lost touch. I’m sorry to hear about her death.”

Lexy nods nervously. “Yeah, it was a big shock to a lot of people,” she says softly. “You said that you were friends? Did you ever sleep with her?”

He looks surprised for a moment and then shakes his head. “I’m not answering that.”

“Is that because you feel insulted that I’d even suggest you might have, or because you did and you don’t want to admit to it considering you were married at the time?” she asks, somewhat forwardly, definitely annoying CHBK. “I mean we all know how seriously you took your wedding vows. We saw that a few years ago, didn’t we?”

He glares at her. “Ok, this interview is over,” he says, shaking his head and beginning to walk away.

“I’m sorry, sir, I’m sorry that I asked that question,” Lexy says, following him a few paces down the corridor still with microphone in hand. “But I’ve got one more question, just one more, and I promise if you answer it I won’t ask you anything else!”

He stops and turns back around, looking unimpressed. “Is it about 1993 or about Panther?” he asks, clearly not wanting to discuss either subject. “Because if it is then I think you know what answer I’m going to give.”

“I do, sir, I do,” Lexy tells him, nodding her head. “And I’m sorry about before but I do have one more question, and it’s not about 1993 but it is personal. Um, we found out several months ago that your son had been arrested for possession of drugs and he was fired by SCW, a company that you dedicated so much of your career to helping build and establish. So my question for you, sir, is obviously you’re disappointed in Alex Junior, but do you think you’ve got any other children out there, besides your daughter, and if you have then what would you say to them?”

He looks like he’s about to turn and walk away again before obviously thinking about it for a moment and changing his mind. “You’re right. I was disappointed in Alex. He’s been given every opportunity and he could never take advantage of one without screwing it up,” he says in disapproving tone. “Most people know me better than to bring up my son with me given our history over the last five years. As for any other children, I don’t know. I suppose it’s possible. As you’ve just said I wasn’t always as loyal to my wife as I should have been. In truth though it’s not something I’ve given a huge amount of thought to. But if there were any of my children out there, what would I say to them? Well I’d tell them that I hope they don’t end up like Alex did. I hope they don’t disappoint. And that I hope they make the best of their opportunities, whatever they might be doing. I hope they make me proud. Does that answer your question?”

She seems unable to talk and nods her head. “Yes… sir.”

“Don’t call me sir,” he says before beginning to walk off. He takes a few steps before turning back and looking at Lexy again. “What did you say your name was again?”

“Are you going to have security throw me out?” Lexy asks nervously.

“Call it curiosity,” he replies.

“Lexy,” she says softly. “My name is Alexandra. I think my mum might have named me after my father…”

He looks at her for a long moment before nodding his head. “It’s a good name,” he says before turning and walking off again. “Work on your interview technique, Alexandra.”

Once he’s out of earshot Nate finally laughs from behind the camera. “Well, that was subtle.”

“Yeah, not my best moment, but I freaked out a little,” Lexy says, looking at her husband and just smiling weakly at him. “Do you think he knows? I mean he seemed a little shaken up when I told him that my mum had died. Even if my d—even if Damien knows it’s not like he was going to call him up and tell him she’d passed, right? And he didn’t deny sleeping with her.”

“He didn’t admit it either,” Nate rightly points out.

“Well he’s not just going to admit it,” Lexy says, shaking her head. “What if he is my father? Do you think he knows that I know? Do you think he’s going to look me up? Oh shit, if he looks me up then he’s going to find the show and… well, it’s too late to do anything about last week now.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean we have to post this,” Nate tells her.

“No, we don’t have to,” she says softly, “but I want to. I mean, if he’s going to look me up then he might as well find out the truth, right? And then if he did sleep with my mum, if he is my father or thinks he might be my father, then maybe he’ll come to me.”

Nate goes quiet for a moment before letting out a sigh. “You know when you told me Jacky Knight put that idea in your head I seriously started thinking it was because he was trying to redirect you away from asking if he was your father. I thought there was no way that CHBK could ever be. Now I’m not so sure…” he admits. “What are you going to do if he is?”

“I have no fucking idea,” Lexy says before laughing. “I mean fuck, I don’t even know how I START dealing with that. Lucas hates him, Trin wants to kill him and I… I just want to ask him if he knew my mum was pregnant, if she ever told him, because… because I guess that affects how I feel about him. Well, that and the fact that he’s sleeping with Mikaela Street. Oh god, how sick is it that your dad is sleeping with someone younger than you?!”

Nate just laughs and lowers the camera. The last thing we hear before the scene cuts is him reassuring her. “Could be worse. At least he didn’t hit on you…”

“Oh god, that would be so sick,” Lexy groans at the thought.

The Chapel Show

We cut back to Lexy’s bedroom where she’s once again sitting cross-legged on the bed, looking into the camera. “So, that was my adventures in Canada. What do you guys think? Is he my dad? He didn’t deny sleeping with my mum, but then that doesn’t make him definitely my father. And ever since we filmed all the stuff in Canada I’ve been giving it a lot of thought what I say to him if he stumbles across the Chapel Show, or if someone tells him about it, and he wants to talk to me. I’ve been giving a lot of Lexy Chapelthought to what I say to him if it turns out that CHBK is my father. So far, all I’ve come up with is this: you want someone who can make you proud? Well fuck you because I’ve fought here on my own and I definitely don’t need my father’s approval to keep fighting for everything that I want in this business. I didn’t need the approval of Damien Adams, the man I thought was my father. He didn’t approve of me. He didn’t approve of me coming to America. He didn’t approve of me marrying Nate. He didn’t approve of so many of the choices I’ve made, and I did them anyway. So I don’t need the approval of my actual father, either. But if you want a child who doesn’t always disappoint you then who knows, maybe Lexy Chapel is the one you’ve been waiting for because I promise you, and everyone watching the Chapel Show right now, one thing: I am not a fucking disappointment!”

She laughs before grabbing the IWC Tag Team title and holding it up again. “I wasn’t a disappointment when I claimed this. And look at everything that Kat and me have done since. The only disappointment that we’ve had in our lives has been the disappointment that we’ve caused everyone else who said we couldn’t do it. We did! Wicked Intent is the hottest thing in tag team wrestling today, and yes that even includes our mentors. But, as I said in the opening, this week isn’t about Wicked Intent. I wish it was. I wish Kat was able to compete. I wish she was fit and ready to fight. But it’s not. This week is instead about Unscripted, and me stepping into that ring with no idea of the match stipulation, no idea of my opponent and no idea of what else could happen. And do you know what I want going into Unscripted?” she asks before laughing and shaking her head. “No, fuckers, I’m not sitting here with my hand outstretched and a little dream in my heart begging the gods of wrestling for an opportunity at a title this week. What I want this week is for someone to step into that ring with me so we can go, and so I can disappoint another asshole that looks down their nose at me. You know who you are. You know that you do it every damn week. And what are we going to hear this week? About how fucking good everyone else, am I right?”

She scoffs and rolls her eyes. “Sure, preach it. Preach how damn good you are. Preach the kind of impact you’re going to make. But know this, mother fuckers: the impact that Wicked Intent have made since we’ve come on the scene has been second to none. We’ve bounced up from nobodies to the names on the lips of every wannabe tag team in this company. And the scary part is that we’re this good already and we’re just getting started! And I know that’s not something you want to think about, but it’s true,” she says with a playful smile. “We’re just getting started, and if you’re already looking away and shielding your eyes because you all know that Lexy Chapel contains Explicit Content then you’re going to want to hide your face forever when we really get started. So go ahead and preach about how unstoppable you are, because this week I don’t know who I’m facing, but I do know this: I’m on my own, but the Superkick Soiree doesn’t take weeks off. The invitations for the Superkick Soiree don’t even have a name on them this week, so who KNOWS who might get invited. It could be Tay-Tay. I figure I owe that bitch a kick in the teeth for hitting me with a goddamn kendo stick last week! It could be her bestest buddy Kay-Kay, and I’m sure she’d love nothing more than being dropped on her hasbien head again! But you know what? It could be Serenity…”

“Can you imagine that? Tag Team Champion against World Champion. That’d be pretty cool, right? But aw, we all know how it would end already. I mean, nobody is going to stop the mighty Serenity, am I right? She’s clearly been listening to too many Kennedy Street promos and, much like her apparent hero, is going to be champion for as long as she pleases! Seriously, what the fuck is up with dumb blonde bitches saying that shit lately?” she asks before grabbing a handful of her own hair and looking at it and shrugging. “I know, before you say it, it’s hair dye and underneath I’m a blonde, but goddamn I am anything but a dumb blonde bitch! Yet this company, and this business, is full of them and I for one want to handwrite their invitations because goddamn wouldn’t it be sweet to kick one of them in the face? I think it would. And I want to. I want to not because it proves what a dominant force I am, and how unstoppable I am, and how I’m NEVER losing the IWC Tag Team Championship, but because I’ve fought my way up from nothing and I’m a fucking realist, not an egotist. I know you give me a chance to fight the so-called best and before they know it music’s playing, the programming is starting, and as Kay-Kay found out last week that programming was not rated PG, we were rated TV-MA, bitches.”

She laughs and shrugs her shoulders unapologetically. “Yeah, so much of the stuff that we do around here is a little harsher rated, but then you can’t tell me that it’s not damn entertaining! And c’mon, we entertained the HELL out of in the main event last week, am I right? Yeah, I’m right! Oh, and Selena, you’re welcome. We know how tired you must have been last week. I mean goddamn, you’re working on a movie, right? Or is it a TV show? You know what, I genuinely never cared enough to ask before now. You’re working on SOME bullshit project that nobody gives a fuck about though, am I right? And along with that you’re working for… how many wrestling companies? And I’ve got a serious question, do you write those pathetically needy and desperate letters to all of them? I think you do,” she says before shaking her head. “But like I said, you’re welcome, because last week you’re about to lose and then out of nowhere the party arrived, and thanks to us you win. We’re good to you, aren’t we? Yeah, we’re good to you. But don’t worry, you don’t need to thank us. We know how desperate you are to be a Queen again – am I right, Queen of Adrenaline? – so we figured we’d help out. And if Alicia Silverstone is listening… goddamn you were fucking terrible in Batman Forever. Seriously. You’re just horrible! No wait, wrong person, I’m always getting them mixed up…”

She smirks slyly. “Ok, let me try again. If Alicia Silverstone is listening then I stand by my comment from before and you are just awful, but if it makes you feel any better you’re still a better actress than Tabitha is a manager,” she says, looking at the camera as though looking at Tabitha with pity and nodding her head. “Yeah, Tab, darling, you didn’t think we’d just forget you, did you? You didn’t think after that bullshit Andre victory I’d just be all like ‘oh well, it doesn’t matter, I didn’t care anyway’. Yeah, it mattered. And yeah, your client is no longer Queen of the Ring Champion. Now you’re probably going to whine and complain about that but let me stop you right there. Let me stop you RIGHT there, because… I don’t care. I don’t. You can whine and bitch all you want and I just don’t care. You can threaten us with ‘games’ if you want but… I just don’t care. You see ‘games’ don’t scare me. But if you really want to play then you should probably stop for a moment and think what you’re about to get yourself into. You want revenge? You want payback? You think you can come after us? You think we’re scared of your little group of friends? Bitches please! Let me give you all some free advice. If you come after me, or Kat, or Lucas, or Trin, then you might get one over on us. You might cost us a match, maybe two. You might feel a little better… until… well, you saw what Trin did on Wednesday, right?”

“Ladies, you can’t scare us and you DEFINITELY don’t want to fuck with us. The proof is in the name. We don’t just do wicked things, we have Wicked Intent and trust me, you do not want us to turn the full force of that onto you. Still somehow I just know you will. You’ll think you’re so awesome and that you’ve just got to get some payback, and you’ll regret it because if you piss us off it won’t be a Superkick Soiree you’ll be witnessing, it’ll be a Superkick Slaughter. Don’t believe me? Of course you don’t. Well, your loss…” she says before shrugging her shoulders. “What? They can’t say I didn’t warn them, can they? In fact I’m pretty sure I warned them before. I warned them not to get involved. I warned them that they didn’t want to upset us. They ignored those very kind warnings, they laid us out with cheap shots – like, you know, a title belt to the back – and then paraded around like they were above us. But this week nobody is above me. Do you hear me? Because I’m tired of being disrespected. I’m tired of those who think they’re better needing to spring every cheap shot and assault they can. I’m tired of seeing second-rate bitches parading around like they own the place. And I will have some goddamn respect! I know, I know, I can hear the whining now…”

She puts her head in her hands as though listening to it, and then we see Lexy standing over herself talking in a particularly whiny voice. “But Lexy, why should they show you respect when you don’t show it to them?”

“That’s a good question, you damn sexy woman you,” Lexy tells her superimposed self as she looks up and nods, “Damn, you’re hot. Did anyone ever tell you that? If I wasn’t married…”

“Oh you,” the super imposed Lexy says before blushing and walking off.

The real Lexy looks back into the camera, getting more serious again. “You know I tried to be respectful. I did. For so fucking long I tried to be respectful. I walked in these doors and even though Lucas told me not to I STILL tried to show respect. What did it get me? Constant disrespect. Fucking bitches telling me that they know me when they know NOTHING about me. I tried to be good, but it got me nothing. It got me ignored. So I super kicked people in the face! They started paying attention. You want my respect? You want me to give a damn about anything you’ve got to say? Then stop being whiny, two-faced, complaining little whores and earn it! You don’t like me but at least I’m honest. I’m not a good person – I already told you, we’ve Wicked Intent, and that kind of says that we’re not good people – but at least I’m honest, and at least I can keep my fucking legs closed,” she says, looking straight at the camera. “Yeah, you know who I’m talking to, don’t you? You know exactly who you are. Take some free advice. Keep them shut. It’s not clever. Nobody respects you. We all think you’re a dirty little whore. And as a married woman I find it particularly distasteful. So, just… shut them up. You’ll thank me for the advice one day. Ok, that day may not be soon, but… one day.”

“Speaking of advice,” she says, flicking her hair back and looking into the camera again, “let me give you all some. This week Lexy Chapel is looking to prove a point. This week I’m looking for the respect you all owe me. And I already know a sea of part-time dykes is waiting to disrespect me. I already know that a whole bunch of egotistical asshats are waiting to show me disrespect. I already know that there are going to be so many people who tell me that it’ll never happen, that I’ll never succeed, but here’s a fun fact: do you know the most beautiful sound you can hear in wrestling? No, it’s not the bell ringing before they raise your hand. It’s not the roar of the crowd. It’s not your own theme music playing after a brutal match. It’s the sobbing sound that comes out of the broken hearted right before they tuck their tails between their legs and slink away. This week is Unscripted, but there will be little uppity bitch sobbing by the time the night is over. I’ve already written the script for that. Now I’m just planning to deliver it.”

She nods her head slowly before grinning at the camera. “Well, that’s all the time we have tonight folks, so on behalf of my injured tag team partner, my lovely husband, and that gorgeous girl who was in here asking questions a minute ago, I just want to say goodnight. If you want to see more, hit subscribe. And if you know how right I am, hit like. But if you doubt anything I’ve told you tonight then tune in next time, same Chapel time, same Chapel Channel, and once again I’ll begin by telling you I told you so. I’ve been Lexy Chapel, this has been the Chapel Show… until next time, fuckers!”

She winks at the camera before we fade out to black and the replay button flashes up on the screen as the video ends.

The Chapel Show

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