THE CHAPEL SHOW
Episode: S02E15
Date: 11/10/2015

The video begins, as always, in Thousand Oaks at the home of Lexy Chapel, Nate Chapel, and Kat Kelly, in the oh-so-familiar setting of Lexy and Nate’s bedroom and with another familiar thing in the shot, the IWC Tag Team Championship belt with rests proudly on the bed. More importantly than that, and drawing the eye of all the male viewers immediately, is none other than the star of the show, Mrs Lexy Chapel herself. She’s dressed extremely casually in a pair of lacy black panties and a t-shirt which reads ‘I’m Trying To Give Up Sexual Innuendos But It’s Hard… SO HARD’. She smirks at the camera happily. “What’s up fuckers? I’m Lexy Chapel, this is the Chapel Show, and… we’re on vacation,” she says before pouting mockingly. “I know, I’d be disappointed too. But hey, you fuckers should at least be happy I’m taking the time out of my fun-packed vacation time to tell you that, and to spend this short amount of time we have together. But seriously, have we not earned a vacation? Every other week the Chapel Show brings you insight, it brings you drama, it brings you comedy, and it brings you the twins. And you still get to enjoy the twins right now, and we all know that for most of you they’re the best part of the show, don’t we? Am I right girls? Yeah, I’m right. But this week we decided to take the week off because, honestly, it’s been a rough few months!”

She lets out a little sigh. “Seriously, shall we go through the list of everything we’ve been through? First off there’s the international travel. Who decided having a whole bunch of shows in Japan two weeks apart was a good idea? I mean don’t get me wrong, Japan is an incredible country, but what were we supposed to do? Were we supposed to rent a fucking house out there and stay there? Pfft, pass! So that meant travel. Lots of travel! And it wasn’t just travelling to Japan either, I’ve been to England in that time as well. And speaking of England, let’s talk a little about why I was in England, shall we? In the last few months I’ve found out that the man I thought was my father, Damien Adams, better known as the Union Jack, wasn’t my father at all. I’ve found out my mother slept around. I’ve found out that my father could be any one of a number of different guys that my mother worked with, and then narrowed it down to just the one, an iconic figure that I’ve come face to face with on a few occasions while he has no idea that I’m his daughter, and confirmed that he is my father. I’ve had arguments with my mentor. I’ve had trips to wrestling events. And then, just recently, I’ve had a family gathering back home and… god, it’s all been crazy,” she says before letting out a longer sigh. “And all of that, all of that, was brought to you right here on the Chapel Show as you watched my life.”

“You fuckers got to know all about the struggles of Lexy. You got to watch her experiencing a mini-identity crisis. You got to go with me as I experienced the highs and lows of this crazy world, and of this crazy business, and this business has been exceptionally crazy, hasn’t it?” she asks before nodding her head to answer her own question. “I mean god, let’s talk about the matches, shall we? I’ve faced Devon Kayl. I’ve fought the IWC World Champion Katelyn Buehler. I’ve fought the IWC Queen of the Ring Champion Selena Frost – which, just a quick aside, did anyone else laugh when she lost? It wasn’t just Kat and me, was it? No, I didn’t think it was – and the former Queen of the Ring Champion Marina Valdivia. I’ve fought a mystery opponent. We’ve defended the IWC Tag Team Championships again and again and again and again as Wicked Intent have gone from a team that none of you gave a damn about to the fastest rising stars not just in the IWC, not just in the Triad even, but in all of professional wrestling! Is that egotistical? A little. Is that tooting our own horn? Toot-toot! But is it true? Oh yes, it’s damn true and you know it! Wicked Intent is THE hot property in this business right now, so hot that we’re thinking of starting a franchise! Eh, who am I kidding, we wouldn’t trust any of you fuckers to use our name and not fuck it up!”

“And after that, after all of that, after everything we’ve been through, I sat down two weeks ago after another hard fought victory and a fun-packed night, which I’ll talk about a little in a second, and I said to myself ‘you know what Lex? You’ve earned yourself a little break. You’ve earned yourself a few weeks away from the cameras’. Then I wondered what you’d think. I wondered what you, the viewing audience, would say if you were denied your Lexy Chapel fix, and I thought… well, what have you done for me?” she asks before shrugging. “I mean, I’m not trying to be a bitch here, but seriously, what have you fuckers done for me? Every arena we go to you treat us like we’re villains. We’re not villains, guys. We’re rock stars! Toot-toot! But it’s true. Everywhere we go you boo and jeer us, and yet every promise we make we deliver on. We promised you we’d show you we were united, that we were strong, and that Wicked Intent was the one team in this industry that wasn’t about backstabbing and self-aggrandising, and have we not done that? Have we not shown you that we know the meaning of togetherness? And even when the opportunities have come along, take for example the terrible travesty last week that was Scott Cannon winning the Evolution Championship instead of my Sister From Another Mister, we’ve done nothing but support one another.”

“We have been everything that we promised we would be and so much more besides. And we’ve been handing out all kinds of invitations to others to join in the fun. Alistair certainly snapped one of those up quickly enough. And don’t you think he looks happier these days with us?” she asks before we briefly cut to a shot of Kat, Lexy and Alistair drunkenly toasting the camera, all with huge grins on their faces and pints of beer in their hands. We cut back to Lexy nodding her head. “Yep, I think he looks damn happier now than he used to be. And who can blame him, really, when you consider he’s joined the winning side? But that’s not the only invitation we’ve been handing out. We’ve been giving out invitations to the hottest party of the spring, summer or fall, the Superkick Soiree, which has rode into many a town and entertained so many week after week. And I know that’s meant that some of the hand delivered – or, err, foot delivered? I guess it’s foot delivered – invitations haven’t been to some people’s liking but we’ve liked giving them out, and we’ve got plenty more. In fact we’ve got a whole load of undelivered ones that we’ll be giving out when we’re back home in New York this week for Riot, and c’mon now, don’t pretend you’re not excited by that! The Superkick Soiree returns to the Big Apple, and Wicked Intent face yet another test when it does....”

“And… didn’t I promise I’d talk a little about the fun-packed night two weeks ago?” she askes before nodding her head. “I did. And I will. I wouldn’t want to be a liar now, would I? Because if there’s one thing I’m not, fuckers, it’s a liar. I’m a very honest person, in fact. And when I say I’m going to do something I always try to back up that. Unfortunately sometimes fate just gets in the way, and that’s never fun, but for the most part I deliver on my promises. There are a few things that I am definitely not. I am not a liar. And I am not a thief, in spite of what many of you have been saying about me after the fun Wicked Intent had a few weeks ago, because honestly if I was a thief don’t you think I’d have more than just this one shiny belt with me right now? Yes, I would. So in spite of what many of you have been saying two weeks ago was never about stealing the World Championship from Kay-Kay, it was more about… borrowing it, to prove a point. That seems to be a point that is lost on many of you however, and honestly that makes me sad. You don’t want Lexy to be sad, do you? You don’t want a sad Lexy. Nobody likes a SAD Lexy. You want to see a HAPPY Lexy. But since most of you seem oblivious to it let’s talk a little about two weeks ago and explain something using small words that even your little Yankee-Doodle brains can’t comprehend.”

“Two weeks ago you saw this…” she says. We cut from Lexy sitting there to a short series of clips from Riot two weeks ago featuring Wicked Intent and their possession of the World Championship. We then see final part of that series of clips is Lexy dropping the World title back across the fallen body of Katelyn Buehler. We cut back to Lexy in her room again as she smirks. “Ok, let’s get it out of the way, shall we?”

She continues sitting on the bed as a second Lexy walks into the shot, obviously super imposed on top, and looks down at ‘herself’ angrily. “I’m very disappointed in you. That was uncalled for. You should never have targeted her. What the hell were you thinking?”

We then see another Lexy walk in from the other side, also looking disappointed. “Seriously, what were you doing? You didn’t need to lay a finger on her. She didn’t do anything to you.”

“Well technically—” the real Lexy begins to say before the second super imposed one cuts her off.

“Don’t you argue with me, missy! You crossed the line last week. You attacked her. And to think you and Kat did that terrible, terrible move to her in the ring as well,” the second one says, shaking her head. “What do you call that again?”

“The NC-17,” the real Lexy tells her super-imposed counterpart with a nod. “But c’mon, you’ve got to admit you enjoyed that. It’s ok. I won’t tell anyone. It’s just us talking here. You enjoyed it, didn’t you?”

The second one continues to try to look disappointed before smiling. “Ok, I enjoyed it a little,” she says before nodding her head. “I mean, we did promise that we’d drop her on her head, didn’t we?”

“Exactly,” the real one says in her own defence. “I made a promise. I promised the world that when I was in the ring with her I would drop her on her head, and what happened? Well, what didn’t happen? The end of our match was chaos. And I didn’t ask for any of that. I didn’t ask for the chaos. I didn’t ask for the outside interference. I didn’t ask for the bullshit-storm that ended my first ever main-event appearance. But I made a promise, and I was damn sure going to deliver on it.”

“But why did you have to steal her title?” the first of the super-imposed Lexy’s asks disapprovingly. “What possible reason did you have for that?”

“Because it was funny?” the real Lexy responds before shaking her head. “No, that wasn’t the only reason. The truth is… um… ok, ladies, while I’m sure the thought of three of me is having many a man rush to change their underwear to get the crusty feeling out from the front right now really you can go now…”

“But I wasn’t done telling you off,” the first one complains before pouting and walking back off camera. The second does the same leaving just the real deal sitting there.

She shrugs her shoulders. “What? I was bored. Seriously, vacation was great but that didn’t mean that I didn’t find myself playing with the editing tools and wanting to have a little fun,” she says before shrugging her shoulders again. “Whatever. The question has been asked. Why did I steal her title? Well, because it was funny. That’s part of the answer. But also to send a message! I wanted her to know how it felt to be without it. I wanted her to know how it felt to lose something very precious to her. Because I knew little sun-deprived Kay-Kay wouldn’t enjoy that feeling. I knew it would get her angry. I knew it would light a fire under her. And that’s what I wanted. I wanted her worked up. I wanted her angry. And I hope she’s still thinking back to that feeling right now, right as she stands on the verge of challenging Wicked Intent for the second time for the IWC Tag Team Championships, because TWICE now she has tried to take something from us that was never hers to take, and for the SECOND time this Monday night we’re going to drop her on her head and deny her that goal. And now she knows what it feels like to be the hunted. Now she knows what it feels like to have someone who doesn’t deserve the prize, someone who hasn’t yet earned the prize, trying to take it from her. Now she knows how Wicked Intent feels.”

“Yes, you heard that right. I haven’t yet earned the IWC World Championship. I know that. I know that because I RESPECT that title enough to know that. I RESPECT that title enough to know that draping it over my shoulder and prancing around the arena with it for shits and giggles doesn’t make me a champion. If you thought I thought otherwise then you’re very, very wrong. But just as I haven’t EARNED that championship – yet – little TANorexic Kay-Kay hasn’t yet earned THIS either,” she says with complete seriousness before grabbing the IWC Tag Team Championship and holding it up to the camera. “Hell, Kay-Kay hasn’t even earned the right to stand in the goddamn ring with Kat and me with these belts on the line, and if you think otherwise, if you think that what happened two weeks ago, if you think everything that’s happened between her and I has meant that she’s deserving of this shot this week then I’m afraid you’re suffering from a tragic case of retardation and you should strap a bicycle helmet to your head for your own safety at your earliest convenience! Because here’s the truth, ladies and gentlemen, Kay-Kay and Marina may be challenging for the IWC Tag Team Championships this Monday but they are not – I say again NOT – your next IWC Tag Team Champions and, like against so many who came before them, we’ll prove that in the ring on Monday.”

 She looks into the camera with deadly seriousness. “Do you think I’m lying? Do you think I’m wrong? Oh Kay-Kay is a hell of a competitor, I’ve never denied her that. Hell, I said as much to her a few weeks ago. She’s a fighter. She’s a survivor. She may be an annoying half-wit but she has proven without a shadow of a doubt that she can go in that ring with the very best of them. But what she is, and her biggest problem coming into this week in fact is, is an individual. She is alone. She is one face in the crowd. And Marina Valdivia is not her bestest buddy. Marina Valdivia is not the ying to her yang. Marina Valdivia is another individual who’s been plucked from the chasing pack because she decided to stick her nose into someone else’s business and the two of them are now gifted an opportunity. They are gifted an opportunity that Wicked Intent had to earn. They are gifted an opportunity that numerous teams over on Uprising having been FIGHTING for. And me? Well, I haven’t EARNED a shot at the IWC World Championship yet and you don’t see me licking my lips and imagining what it would be like to try it on, do you?” she asks before shaking her head. “Actually I know what it’s like to try it on. It was nice, sure. It was pretty. It’s very shiny. But quite frankly the only damn title that I care about being on this beautiful shoulder right here is this one!”

She puts the IWC Tag Team Championship back on her shoulder and pats it proudly. “And I’m not just saying that folks. That’s not a new message. You know it to be true because it’s the same damn message I’ve been sending for week after week. It’s the same message Wicked Intent has delivered a dozen times now, or at least what feels like a dozen times considering how freakishly often we’re forced to defend the IWC Tag Team Championships. And I know Kay-Kay wants payback. I know Kay-Kay is pissed at me. I don’t blame her. I’d be pissed at me too. Why else do you think I went through all the trouble of getting her attention?” she asks before smirking. “Yeah, I did, didn’t I? I got her attention. I knew that she’d come after me, I knew she’d want revenge for that feeling of loss, and I knew that when she did I could get another chance do what I long to do, and that’s prove myself against the very best. But wanting payback on me and deserving this title right here? That’s not the same thing. It’s not even close to being the same thing. And now, for the second time, Kay-Kay is coming after our belts. Now, for the second time, she’s found herself a new partner. And now, for the second time, Wicked Intent are going to leave the ring on Monday night with a victory over the IWC World Champion, Lexy Chapel is going to leave the ring on Monday night with a victory of the IWC World Champion for the THIRD time, and the doubters will be silenced.”

“There are always doubters, you know?” she asks before shaking her head slowly. “I tell you that we are the fastest rising thing in this industry and you doubt me. I tell you that Wicked Intent are the ones to watch and you doubt me. I tell you that we are entertaining, that we are loudmouths who can back up EVERYTHING we say, and that we are good people who like keeping their promises, and you doubt me. But I tell you I’m better than Katelyn Buehler and you don’t even contemplate the idea that that could be true. The first time around I was moments from pinning her and I got hit in the back with a weapon and the match was called on a disqualification. The second time around chaos unfolds and I get pulled into a cover. The third time however I’m dropping her on her head and pinning her shoulders down and anyone who still looks at me and thinks ‘oh, that’s just Lexy Chapel, she doesn’t matter’ will have to eat every one of their words. That’s why I stole your belt, Katelyn. I wanted another shot at you. And now you’re coming for this title on my shoulder, and I get to prove myself and prove Wicked Intent are all that and more at the very same time. And it’s going to be fun, because cards on the table you’re good, girl. You’re the one with the target on her back. You’re the one with all eyes on you. You’re the big dog. This is YOUR HOUSE right now, am I right? Well this week Wicked Intent are the repo-women, and we’re repossessing it!”

She pauses for a moment to let that sink in before nodding her head. “Toot-toot,” she says again before laughing. “Yeah, I’m tooting my own horn again, but I mean it. This is her house? Not for much longer. This is going to be known as the house of Wicked Intent. This Monday night the Manhattan Center is going to be the house that WICKED INTENT rule. That’s our dream. That’s how we’re going to become household names. And we’re going it at the expense of Katelyn, but we’re also doing it at the expense of you, Marina, and you want to know something about that? I’m sorry. I’m sorry it’s you, again. I’m sorry you’re sucked into this, again. I’m sorry you stuck your nose in the wrong bit of business. And I’m sorry that this week we’re denting your momentum, because here’s the truth about you and us: I don’t dislike you. I don’t like your name. I find it annoying to say. Valdivia? It just doesn’t roll off the tongue. But hey, I’m not going to hold your name against you. Hell, I’m not going to hold anything against you. You came at us before wanting payback for what we did to you, and you lost. You got stabbed in the back. You got betrayed. That’s got to have pissed you off. That’s got to have worked you up. And now here we are making big threats to Kay-Kay and you’ve got to help her, you’ve got to fight against the evil machine, and all that, right?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. That’s cool. I respect that. I respect that, Marina. You’ve got a lot of reasons to hate on us. We cost you the Queen of the Ring title. Your friend turned his back on you and sided with us. We’re the bad, naughty little girls the boys want to spank. But I don’t dislike you. Like I said, here’s the truth about you and us. I don’t dislike you. I nothing you! To dislike you I would have to care about you. I care about Kay-Kay. She’s a big ol’ target who’s gotten TWO shots at my title when she’s deserved neither, in my eyes. But you? You’re just the bitch in the wrong place every time I turn around. The thing with the Queen of the Ring title? That wasn’t personal. That was a bit of fun. You took it to heart though. You and Selena really wanted to come after us. But it wasn’t personal. The thing with Alistair? Yeah, that wasn’t personal either. And this? This has nothing to do with you at all. You’re just the one who came out when she should have stayed in the back. You’re just the one that Taylor laid out. Wait, was it Taylor who laid you out? I’ll be honest; I was so focused on other things I barely even remember. I just remember seeing you lying on the mat and knowing that you’re probably real mad at me, while I couldn’t give a damn about you. But that doesn’t mean I’m overlooking you? Oh no, no, no. I know what you can do. I know what you want. I know you’re a threat…”

“You’re a threat, Marina. There, I said it. You’re good. You’re experienced. You’re talented. You like the sound of your own voice. You’ve got a good heart. You’re a good person, from what I’ve seen. And that’s something you should probably work on because – and I speak from experience here girl, trust me on this – being a good person in this industry gets you nothing. Do you know what being a good person got me? Maybe a cheeseburger from the concessions stand to go along with my pathetic paycheque, and that was only if I flirted with the guy and pushed my breasts together,” she says, using her arms to enhance her cleavage before rolling her eyes again. “Yeah. Being a good person got me nothing. Being a good person got me my ass kicked a few times. But being a loudmouth bitch who fucks with people and, steals title belts and generally causes all kinds of hell? That got me attention. That got me recognition. That got me one on one with the World Champion. That got me a pin-fall victory over the top dog. And that got me the shiny title you see on my shoulder. You know, the one you’re trying to take from me. Being a bitch got me those things. What’s being a good girl getting you? Is it all it’s cracked up to be? Is it as fun as you’d hoped? There’s another way, you know. I’m just saying. There is another way…”

“You’re not that kind of girl though, right? You’d call it turning your back on your principles, right? I’d call it getting ahead. Potato-potahto. And don’t go getting me wrong here, I’m not suggesting that you team up with us this week. I don’t want you as a friend. I don’t give a damn about you remember? Why would I want to be friends with someone I couldn’t give a toss about? I’m just trying to give you some advice. Being the good girl isn’t helping you. Running out to aid the downtrodden isn’t helping you. It’s gifting you another chance with us, wherein Wicked Intent will beat you – again – and what happens then? Hell, what happens if you win? Are you and Katelyn really going to be the tag champions? Really? With everyone after her, you think she’s going to be a reliable partner? With that World title being the focus of half the roster you think she’s going to pull her weight? You’ll be ninety percent of the team, while she’s more concerned with trying to keep track of everything going on ‘in her house’,” she says before nodding her head slowly. “I’m sorry to be the one to tell you but if you’re looking for long-term tag team success I wouldn’t look at Kay-Kay. Then again with Alistair turning on you and you and ol’ Andre not exactly the closest of friends who is there for you long term? Wait, don’t answer that, we’ve already established the fact that I don’t care.”

“This title on my shoulder is what I care about. I don’t even give a damn about the Monarchy. Yeah, I don’t care if that doesn’t make me the bestest team player on the planet because frankly I couldn’t give a fuck about Tay-Tay and Mr Tay-Tay joining up. What I care about is this belt right here, and I’m not letting it slip away from me, especially to Katelyn,” she says before letting out another sigh. “But yet you’re coming for me. You’re coming for payback. You’re coming to teach me a lesson. Teach it, Marina. Teach away. Show me the error of my ways. Discipline me. Show me what being bad gets me. Beat me up. Try to hurt me. Bring your best at me this week, girl. Try to take this title away from me and put me on the naughty step or in time out. Try and do that, and get together with Kay-Kay and tell her to try and do the same thing. I need you trying. I need you coming for me. Because beating you when you’re disinterested? That doesn’t mean much. But beating you when you’re gunning to take my head off? That gets the fans paying attention. And attention is what we want. Wicked Intent started out as nothing. We started out as nobodies. We started out ignored and overlooked, and when we won these titles they looked at us and they said ‘you won’t last’. They looked at us and they said ‘oh, you’re from that indy promotion, you’re this, and you’re that’, and they didn’t get a single thing right about me. But they know me now.”

“This is your second chance, just like Katelyn. This is your second chance at revenge. This is your second chance at taking our heads off. This is your second chance at hurting us. This is your second chance at doing your worst. So do it. You want to be a star, right? That’s your thing. That’s respectable. I can respect that about you. And when you lost to Selena – yeah, sorry about that – you looked around after and you said it was time to move along, and that’s respectable too. But whatever you’re moving on to isn’t here. It isn’t this,” she says, holding up the IWC Tag Team Championship belt again. “The Chapel Show may be having a little vacation week this week but Wicked Intent is not. Wicked Intent will be at Riot, and we’ll be looking to stamp our name on the show and get everyone talking about us, because I was disrespected by the entire fucking world when I faced Katelyn, I was disrespected by everyone talking about Tay-Tay and nobody talking about me, but this week they will be talking about me, they’ll be talking about Wicked Intent, and they’ll be talking about the best tag team in this business, the 2015 Tag Team of the Year, and after Monday night STILL your IWC Tag Team Champions. Bring your best, ladies, because it’s time we go to work. The repo-women are coming, and ‘your house’ is becoming ours. You like what you see? Rate, subscribe and come back for more because I’ve been Lexy Chapel, the Future Legend herself and hostess of the Superkick Soiree, and this has been the Chapel Show. Until next time, fuckers!”

Lexy nods at the camera before patting the IWC Tag Team Championship again as the video ends and the replay button flashes up on the screen.