THE CHAPEL SHOW
Episode: S02E18
Date: 05/12/2015

The video begins and we see the inside of the home of Lexy Chapel, Nate Chapel and Kat Kelly in Thousand Oaks. The setting is the always-familiar bedroom of Lexy and Nate Chapel, and in the centre of the shot we see a close up of one of the IWC Tag Team Championships. The championship remains the sole focus of the video for a few moments before we start zooming out to reveal the woman holding it is none other than our hostess who has a smile on her face. She’s dressed in a mini-skirt and a shirt with a picture of a cartoon whale and the slogan ‘You’re Going To Love The Way I Blow’. On her face is a confident smile. “What’s up fuckers? I’m Lexy Chapel, this is the Chapel Show, and… this is the final scheduled show of 2015. And what a 2015 it’s been, am I right?” she asks before confidently putting the Tag Team Championship over her shoulder and patting it proudly. “It didn’t start off in the best of ways, after all when 2015 started I was… not exactly in the same position that I am right now. When 2015 started off I was fighting for no money and trying to pretend that that was ok. When 2015 started off I was stuck in a rut and honestly I had no idea where my future was going to take me. And if something hadn’t changed one of two things would have happened: I’d be back home in England, or I’d be working a regular, boring job just to make ends meet…”

She looks at the IWC Tag Team Championship for a moment and then smirks at the camera. “I think it’s safe to say that I made a series of good decisions this year considering I’m ending it with this title on my shoulder, don’t you think?” she asks before laughing. “Now, as 2015 ends I may not be the number one contender to the IWC World Heavyweight Championship, but I was in the final four of the tournament to find that contender, and to be fair who’d have thought a year ago that little Lexy Chapel would even have made it five minutes in IWC, let alone accomplished that? There were so many of you fuckers who doubted me the moment I showed up in IWC, who doubted that I’d last, who doubted that I’d accomplish a damn thing, but from the moment that Wicked Intent formed, from the moment that Kat Kelly and Lexy Chapel declared our intentions, we started forcing those doubters to eat their words.  We’ve gone from rookies nobody believed in to the 2015 IWC Tag Team of the Year, the IWC Tag Team Champions, the Future Legends, and the two bitches who’s name everybody knows and nobody can predict the actions of. We’ve changed the world. We’ve stepped up against the best that IWC has to offer in 2015 and we haven’t been beaten, broken and humbled, we’ve been the bitches doing the humbling!”

“This has been our year,” she says with serious pride, “and in 2016 we’re not going to crumble away into nothingness, we’re going to continue the forward progression and just get even better! You see 2015 has been our breakout year. Kat and I have become the breakout stars of the year. We’ve made the tag team division our playground, and in our playground nobody gets to play with our toys but us. Yeah, we don’t play well with others and we definitely don’t like to share. Hell, look at what I’ve accomplished this year. I’ve pinned the IWC World Heavyweight Champion twice! I’ve taken the fight to the best of the best, and while I haven’t always come out on top, I’ve always come out having proven a point to the world. That’s why I have no regrets about what happened at Upping the Ante, because I lived up to exactly the intention of the pay per view. I did up the ante. And whatever you want to say about Marina Valdivia and her ‘victory’ over me you cannot deny the fact that I put my name up there amongst the top contenders. And it seems I’m not the only one who thinks so. It seems like our new undisputed IWC owner must think so to, or whomever it is that she’s paying to make the matches at the very least, because I’ve gone from what was scheduled to be a ‘grudge match’ to an opportunity to end 2015 in the best possible way and start 2016 with a smile!”

She smiles happily at the camera before pointing at her face. “And c’mon guys, you know you like to see me smile. You like to see me happy. I make a good hostess when I’m happy, don’t I? I think I do. I make a better hostess when it comes to the Chapel Show, but I also make a good hostess when it comes to the hottest ticket of 2015, and that would be the Superkick Soiree,” she says with her smile only growing even more. “But, let’s talk for a moment about that aforementioned previous booking. Let’s talk for a moment about the formerly booked ‘grudge match’ between Lexy Chapel and Scott Cannon, and tell me this: what possible grudge would I have against him, or would he have against me? Oh c’mon, I know we haven’t always seen eye to eye, and I know that Kat and I actually helped establish our names in IWC by beating him down after that quality partner of his abandoned him when he got a shot at our belts, but do you really think that Scotty was mad at me? I guess we’ll never know now, will we? The Cannon family apparently got hit by the worst luck in the world in the last few weeks, with Chris getting injured and Scott going down as well, with Chris losing out on an opportunity to win a championship and Scott being forced to vacate a championship after losing out on a second one, and… well, even if there was some kind of ‘grudge’ before then it’d be hard for me to keep it up after that…”

She bows her head a little with an actual sad expression on her face, like she’s saddened by the fact that Scott is no longer the Evolution Champion, but a little smirk forms on her lips as she looks up again. “But, you know, we can’t mourn forever and where you’ve been denied poor old Scotty as your World Champion because he wasn’t capable of doing something that I’ve done twice, and you’ve been denied poor Scotty as your Evolution Champion because his body just couldn’t live with the demands that it takes to compete at that level, now you get an opportunity for something so much more. And that, I assume, is an early Christmas gift to you, the people, from the lovely Karen McBride. Well, I think she’s pretty lovely anyway,” she says before laughing again. “You’ve lost Scotty Cannon, but what you’re about to get is the greatest possible end of the year that you could hope for. You’re about to see Wicked Intent finally getting that singles success that we’ve been denied so far. What is it they say? Third time is the charm! Well I’ve tried and I’ve been screwed. Kat’s tried and she’s been denied. At the End of Year Special there is nothing that is going to stop Wicked Intent from ending 2015 in a party atmosphere! At the End of Year Special I complete my breakout year in this business… and I do it while looking good!”

She looks down at herself, brushing off the shoulder that the Tag Team Championship isn’t resting on before looking at the Tag Team Championship again and patting it proudly. “But you see while I’m smiling right now there has been plenty this year that hasn’t given me reason to smile. This has been the greatest year of my career, but it’s also been one of the hardest years of my life. I’ve struggled at times. I’ve found out that parts of my life have been a lie. I’ve found out that my father isn’t my father. I’ve had arguments with my mentor over the identity of my actual father. And yeah, I have a ton of issues revolving around that to resolve in 2016 without doubt. But throughout all the hardships I’ve pushed on, I’ve remained focused, and I’ve found myself discovering new things about Lexy Chapel and who she really is,” she says before smiling again and looking around her. “I’ve also found where I belong. But sometimes you can be forced to question that. Sometimes you can have your personal space invaded and you can feel violated. There was a chance that that was what this video this week could have been all about. You see I had one idea for this final scheduled edition of the Chapel Show and that was to talk about the highlights of the year, the highs and the lows, the ups and the downs, but then we got home a few weeks ago and… well…”

We cut from the inside of the house to what seems to be the inside of a car. The atmosphere inside the car seems to be pretty jovial as we begin with hearing Kat Kelly, who’s sitting up front in the passenger seat, laughing. Behind the wheel and sitting next to her is Nate Chapel. That means the one behind the camera is none other than Lexy. “Ok, so we’re celebrating tonight, right?” she asks as Kat looks back over her shoulder toward her. Kat looks a little surprised. “What? We’re still the Tag Team Champions! We’re ending 2015 as the Tag Team Champions! We’re setting records as the Tag Team Champions! What amongst that isn’t worth celebrating?”

“Oh it’s all worth celebrating without doubt,” Kat says positively, “but… well, I just thought you wouldn’t really be in the mood for a party, that’s all. I mean, if last night had gone a little better…”

“Yeah, if had gone a little better then maybe I wouldn’t even be able to celebrate tonight,” Lexy says a little light-heartedly. Kat looks at her with sympathy and Lexy just seems to laugh it off. “Seriously, I keep telling you, I’m ok! Sure it didn’t go the way I wanted it to, but we’re still the Tag Team Champions, right? And that was the goal. That’s what we went there to do. That was always the priority, and anything else that happened would just have been icing on the cake.”

“Plus there’s always next time…” Kat says encouragingly.

Lexy just laughs. “Sure but first things first, we need to… err… what’s going on?” she asks, obviously able to see something ahead of them that we’re not able to see from the view of the camera. Whatever it is that’s drawn Lexy’s attention also draws Kat’s attention now as she turns her attention to the front of the car. Nate slows down and pulls the car over, as Kat seems more and more concerned. “Ok, maybe we won’t be celebrating tonight after all…”

“Is that security? What’s going on?” Kat asks, opening the door and jumping out of the car. Lexy opens the back door as well and follows behind Kat, hurrying a little to catch up as Kat seems to be walking rather quickly over toward the car that’s parked outside their house. The car is clearly marked up as ‘Security’. Kat looks inside the car as Lexy seems to move the camera around over it and then turn it toward the house where we see someone in a security uniform walking out of an already opened front door. Kat notices him too and calls out to him. “Hey, what’s going on?”

“Excuse me ma’am,” the guy says as he walks down toward the girls. “There’s nothing to see here. There’s no problem.”

“There is a problem,” Kat says, somewhat irritated. “This is my house! What happened? Why are you here?”

“Ms Kelly?” the guy asks as he walks over. “I’m sorry ma’am, I didn’t recognise you. Do you have any ID? I’m sorry, I just need to confirm your identity before I answer any questions…”

Kat reaches into her purse and looks around for a moment before pulling out something that she hands to the guy in the security uniform. He takes a look at it, presumably confirming her identity, before handing it back. “Happy?” Kat asks, somewhat irritated. “Now tell me what’s going on. Why are you at our house?”

“I’m very sorry ma’am. We were called out here. When we arrived the door was already open,” he explains calmly. “I’m afraid that there’s been a break-in.”

“Son of a bitch,” Kat says angrily, rushing toward the house. “How bad is it? What did they take? Do you know who did it?”

Lexy follows Kat up toward the house and inside the house. The camera takes a moment to adjust as Lexy walks into the house and we see her moving the camera around slowly. Other than the obvious damage to the front door however there doesn’t seem to be much damage inside the house. Kat goes off in one direction while Lexy heads into the living room. We see that the television is still there, along with what seems to be all their other belongings as well. Nothing is obviously missing anyway. Lexy continues scanning the room as Kat walks in. “Is anything missing?” Lexy asks her as she obviously continues looking around the lounge. “It doesn’t look like they took very much…”

“No, I was just thinking that,” Kat says with a little positivity. “I mean they might have taken a couple of things. I haven’t checked upstairs yet. Your laptop is still here though. Maybe they didn’t go into the kitchen…”

“Maybe the alarm sounded and scared them off?” Lexy suggests somewhat uncertainly. “I don’t know. It’s definitely weird though. The door is wrecked though! What are we going to do about that?”

“I guess we’ll have to call someone,” Kat suggests with a shrug. “I don’t know what to do. Nothing like this has ever really happened to me before. You’ve lived in some rough places, right? Has anything ever…?”

Lexy laughs. “No, nobody’s ever broken into our apartments before, even if they were in… not great buildings before we moved in here,” Lexy says in somewhat more of a relaxed tone than Kat. “But this is why we pay the big bucks to the security company, right? They’re meant to protect us from stuff like this happening. So maybe that’s what happened. Maybe the alarm went off and whoever broke in here just grabbed what they could and ran without really looking around…”

“Or maybe…” Kat says before hesitating. “Maybe they knew who lived here and they wanted something specific? I mean you’ve got your show on YouTube, right? It’s hardly like it’s a secret where we live…”

Lexy hesitates before replying. “You’re not blaming me for this, right?” she asks with a little worry. “I mean it’s not like I ever intended…”

“No, I’m not blaming you, I’m just…” Kat says before letting out a sigh. “I don’t know what to do. I mean this is crazy, right? I don’t even know where to start.”

“Well the guy will know what to do,” Lexy informs her. “We can just ask him. I think he’s still out at the car. Why don’t you go talk to him, find out what we do about the door, and I’ll go check upstairs and see what’s happening and if they even got that far up there, ok?”

“Yeah, sure, I’ll go see what he says,” Kat says, nodding her head, before heading back outside again. Lexy turns to the window and we see the security guy from earlier standing next to his car talking to Nate. Kat starts making her way down there as well to join in the conversation as we hear Lexy let out a sigh and mumble something to herself from behind the camera.

She then starts heading upstairs, scanning the camera back and forth around as she walks as though she’s trying to film anything and everything as evidence of what’s happened. She walks up to the first door, filming around it before opening it up and filming inside. It seems to just be a room without much inside. There are some empty boxes piled up, what seems to be a few empty suitcases that long-time viewers might recognise from older videos with Lexy and Nate moving home, or going on vacation. Lexy scans over the room however with nothing really major inside before shutting the door. Then there’s a loud thud and she obviously jumps before spinning around and pointing the camera in the direction that the thud came from. “What the fuck was that?” she whispers, obviously not wanting to give away the fact that she’s there. She slowly begins moving in the direction of the noise. She stops and opens a closet and we see inside is various sport equipment, most of it looking like it’s in a condition that’s not even been used. She grabs a cricket bat from inside it and shuts the closet again carefully so as not to make any noise and continues approaching the source of the noise very slowly. She continues stepping slowly and quietly as we hear what sounds like a door behind shut. Lexy again turns toward the source of the noise. She approaches the door very slowly and quietly before bracing herself and reaching out for it. As she does so the door handle begins to move and open and Lexy screams and drops the camera before swinging the bat. We hear a loud smacking sound before hearing another thud and seeing in front of the fallen camera a body hit the ground and Lexy hesitate. “Oh shit, did I kill him?”

We cut from that moment to a few minutes later where we see the camera pointing down at the unconscious body of a guy we now realise is dressed in the same uniform as the guy outside the house. He’s lying unconscious as Lexy stands over him with the camera. “You’re not dead, ok?” she tells him softly and with concern. “You’re going to be absolutely fine. It’s just a bump on the head, I swear. You’ve had worse, right? Yeah, you’ve had worse. I mean I’m not that strong. Even so, you’d probably have been better off if Nate hit you. He hits like a girl…”

“Lex? Did you find anything?” Kat’s voice calls as we hear her footsteps coming up the stairs. “Is everything ok?”

“Um… sort of?” Lexy calls back nervously before trying to shut the door, only the guys legs are in the way and she tries pushing them aside but he’s completely unconscious and his legs are obviously just completely dead weight. “Are you on your own?”

“As opposed to…?” Kat asks in confusion.

“I mean is the guy with you? He’s not with you right? Is Nate still talking to him?” Lexy asks, clearly nervous. We see Kat appearing at the top of the stairs as Lexy points the camera down the corridor. She takes a deep breath when she realises her partner is in fact alone. “Oh thank fuck. Err… there’s something you should see.”

“I knew it,” Kat mutters angrily. “I fucking knew it! What did the bastards do? Did they trash the place? Did they steal everything? Did they… wait, are you outside my room? What would they steal from there?”

“I don’t think anything was stolen. Fuck, I wish stuff being stolen was the problem,” Lexy admits before letting out a long sigh. “I, err… something happened.”

“What happened?” Kat asks, growing in concern as she walks down the corridor somewhat hesitantly. Lexy just takes a deep breath and clearly turns to the side as the camera now points at Kat’s bedroom and at the large unconscious security guard in her room. Kat approaches before clearly seeing the problem. “Oh fuck, did you kill him?”

“No! I didn’t… I heard a noise and I grabbed a bat and the next thing I know…” she says, trying to explain before sighing. “He’s not dead!”

“Are you sure?” Kat asks, crouching down over his unconscious body before checking for a pulse. “Ok, yeah, he’s not dead. How hard did you hit him? Why did you hit him?”

“I don’t know how hard I hit him. I was just… you know, adrenaline took over and…” she tries explaining before hesitating. “This was not my fault. He was the one sneaking around! I thought he was one of the assholes who broke in. I heard a thud and a crash and I figured it was one of them. The guy downstairs didn’t say he had a partner, did he? Do you think he’ll be ok?”

“I have no idea,” Kat says nervously, checking on him a little more before lifting up the hat that’s been covering his face this whole time. “Hmm…”

“What?” Lexy asks with concern before getting a better look at him. “Oh. Wow. He’s…”

“Yeah,” Kat says in confirmation, nodding her head in agreement before groaning. “Eh, you know what this means, right? He’s the hottest guy I’ve ever had in my room, and you knocked him unconscious!”

Lexy actually laughs a little before looking at him again. “Do you think we should… you know… call someone? Or, err… maybe we should put him on the bed?” she suggests. Kat looks up at her with confusion. “What? I don’t know what to do here. It’s not like this is a common experience for me! Have you seen me? It’s far more likely that if anyone was going to be unconscious in a strange bedroom then it would be me as the victim, not the… attacker? Ugh, you know who would be awesome in this situation? Scott Cannon! He deals with unconscious people all the time! Ok, so they’re normally women…”

“We could call Chris and see if he can pass a message along,” Kat suggests before smirking. “No, seriously, what are we going to do? We can’t just leave him there forever!”

“Put him on the bed,” Lexy suggests again. She steps into the room, over the unconscious security guy, before putting the camera down on the counter. She then walks back over to the unconscious guy and starts trying to move him. Kat looks concerned. “Fuck, he’s heavy…”

“Should you be moving him?” Kat asks nervously. “I mean, what if he’s got a neck injury?”

“He’ll be fine,” Lexy says confidently. “I need your help though. It’s like he’s made of stone…”

“He looks like he could be,” Kat says admiringly. “I mean… ok, fine, I’ll help.”

Kat leans down and helps Lexy and together they pull the unconscious security guard into the room and, with a lot of effort, manage to lift him up and put him on the bed. After they’re done Lexy almost collapses from the effort while Kat doubles over, breathing hard. Both women then look at him again before Lexy begins to smirk. “Well, we did it. You finally have a hottie in your bed before 2015 is over....”

“I’m going to get him a wet towel or something,” Kat says nervously. Lexy gives her a curious look and Kat just shrugs. “What? Maybe we can wake him up.”

“Yeah, I’m going to…” Lexy says, motioning toward the door.

“Good idea,” Kat says, nodding in agreement before disappearing into her bathroom. Lexy vanishes as well and for a few moments we just see the security guard lying on the bed before Kat returns with a towel and starts dabbing his face with it. She sits next to him, looking at him almost a little admiringly. Several more moments pass before Lexy reappears again. Kat doesn’t even look at her at first. “Ok, did you call someone for help? What did you do, call an ambulance? He probably needs one. Did you tell his friend downstairs that he wa—did you just change clothes?”

We see Lexy shrugging her shoulders. She’s clearly dressed in a far more provocative outfit than the sweatpants and shirt she was wearing a few minutes ago. “What?” she asks innocently. “I didn’t want him to wake up and see me looking like that.”

“Do you really think that’s the important thing? Did you even call anyone?” Kat asks before looking at the unconscious security guard again and then at her own clothes. “Do you have something I can wear?”

“Check my closet. There’s definitely some stuff that’ll look incredible on you,” she tells her friend happily. Kat jumps up off the bed and hands Lexy the towel and rushes out of the room. Lexy sits down on the bed where Kat was and begins nursing the unconscious guard. She dabs him with the towel while looking at him apologetically. “I’m really sorry, you know. I thought you were one of the assholes who broke in. If I’d known you were this hot I wouldn’t have…”

“Babe?” we hear Nate calling from down the hall.

“Oh crap,” Lexy mutters before jumping off the bed and brushing herself down, trying to act casually. “In here, babes.”

“Hey, what have you been? I was just talking to George downstairs. He said that his friend was up here and…” Nate explains before he walks in and sees the unconscious body of the security guard on the bed and then looks at his wife looking sheepish. He asks the most obvious question one would ask in those circumstances. “Did you change your clothes?”

“Yeah, well you see—” Lexy begins before Kat comes in now also dressed provocatively.

“Hey, how does this… oh, hi Nate. What are you doing here?” she asks upon realising that he’s there.

“What’s going on?” Nate asks in confusion. “Why did you both get changed? Why is he lying on the bed? What the hell is happening?”

“There was… an accident,” Lexy explains sheepishly. “I came upstairs and I heard a noise and I thought it was one of the guys who broke in so I… you know… hit him. And… err…”

“Is he ok?” Nate asks, walking over to check on him.

“We don’t know,” Kat says nervously.

“Has he said anything?” Nate asks as he begins to check on the guy.

“Err… not yet,” Lexy says softly.

“Have you called an ambulance? Has he even moved? He looks dead,” Nate tells them, checking on him again before looking up at the two of them who both shift nervously. “So you didn’t call anyone and you both got changed?”

“I wanted to look nice… for you?” Lexy tells him awkwardly.

“Yeah, and I… um… felt like, you know, with the break-in everything is so out of control, and I wanted to… err…” Kat tries to explain.

“Yeah, right, like she felt so powerless and she thought getting dressed up would help her feel better,” Lexy says, nodding her head. Kat joins in with the nodding. “Yeah, totally, that’s definitely a thing. That’s what happened!”

Nate just looks at them both oddly. “What about him?”

“He’ll be fine,” Lexy says, waving her husband away from him. “It was just a bang on the hot—HEAD!! I said head.”

Nate looks at them both again. “Ok…” he mutters, clearly confused. “So, I’m going to call an ambulance for this guy, and tell his friend about him. And you two are going to…”

“We’ll look after him,” Kat says with a nod, grabbing hold of Lexy. “We’ll be his nurses.”

“Yes! Yes, we’ll be his nurses,” Lexy agrees happily. “He needs, you know, attention. And Kat needs my support. She’s very stressed about the break-in.”

Kat nods her head in agreement. “Very,” she says, getting all emotional. “I mean, they were in our house! They were in our home! Someone broke in here…”

“It’ll be ok babes,” Lexy tells her, hugging her caringly. Nate just continues to watch the two of them in complete confusion before Lexy stares at him. “Weren’t you going to call an ambulance?”

“Err… yeah…” Nate says awkwardly before grinning. “But you know, while you two are dressed up like that…”

“Are you thinking about sex right now?” Kat asks in disgust.

“Oh my god Nate, really?” Lexy asks in equal levels of disgust at her husband.

“There’s an unconscious man in our house who’s LIFE could be in danger and all you’re doing is thinking about sex?” Kat asks, shaking her head. “Honestly, men!”

“I know, right?” Lexy says, turning her back on her husband. “I can’t even look at you right now!”

Nate looks like he’s feeling guilty. “I’ll call an ambulance,” he says, nodding his head. “You know, I didn’t mean—”

“Just go,” Kat says in disgust. Nate leaves the room and when he’s gone Kat shuts the door before turning to Lexy. “Ok, he’s gone.”

“Thank god,” Lexy says before looking over at the unconscious guard again. “Ugh, what is wrong with us? We’re as bad as Nate. I knew I should have done something but I saw him and then I saw what I was wearing and… I just didn’t want him waking up and seeing me dressed like that.”

“I know! It’s like in my head I know that I should be helping him, but…” she says before staring at him again. “I mean… he’s hot, right?”

“He’s SO hot,” Lexy agrees. “I can’t stop looking at him…”

“Ugh, this must be how guys feel when they look at you,” Kat tells Lexy. Lexy smirks and looks a little proud of herself for a moment but before she can say or do anything else the guard starts to come around. “Oh my god, he’s waking up…”

“Ugh,” he groans as he starts to wake up. “What happened?”

Kat and Lexy look at each other. “There was a guy, with a bat,” Lexy tells him. “He… hit you. I saw the whole thing. Then he ran downstairs and got away.”

“Out the back,” Kat adds in support of her partner’s story. “Because your friend was out the front and he would have seen, and he didn’t see.”

“That’s a good point,” Lexy agrees, nodding her head. “And that’s exactly what happened. He ran downstairs and out the back. But then we started taking care of you.”

“Yeah, exactly, we wanted to make sure you were ok,” Kat agrees. They’re both acting like nervous schoolgirls and yet the security guard, who holds his head a little, doesn’t seem to notice. He starts to sit up and they both rush over to him. “Wait, don’t get up, because… you could be hurt. Do you feel ok?”

“You should just lay back and relax,” Lexy tells him, adjusting her top to reveal a little more cleavage before he looks at her again. “Don’t worry about anything. It’s all going to be ok…”

The guy lies back as both members of Wicked Intent tend to him and the scene cuts out.

We cut to the inside of what looks like a hospital. Kat is carrying some flowers while Lexy is obviously behind the camera. Kat looks at the flowers and then up at her partner. Both are once again dressed seductively. “We should have brought flowers, right?” she asks, obviously second-guessing herself. “I mean, what else do you bring? When you go to the hospital you bring flowers, right?”

“Definitely. Flowers were the right call,” Lexy says in agreement. “Do you think he’s ok?”

“Well the security company said they wanted to keep him in overnight for observation,” Kat tells her as they continue to walk down toward his room. They both stop upon obviously finding where they need to be and Lexy points the camera at the window in the door. Kat is obviously looking through it as well. Through the window in the door we can see the security guard out of bed and standing looking out the window. He obviously doesn’t see that he has visitors. He’s dressed in jeans but without a shirt, exposing his body, which obviously seems to get both girls just staring at him. “Holy crap! Have you ever seen anyone with muscles like that? He looks like he’s chiselled out of stone!”

“I saw him first,” Lexy says immediately.

“You also knocked him unconscious,” Kat tells her before thinking about it for a moment. “Plus… you’re married.”

“Oh, right… stupid marriage vows,” Lexy mutters. “Yeah, but you have… you know…”

“Oh in what world do you deserve him more than me?” Kat asks defensively.

“Ok, fair point, he’s yours,” Lexy says before letting out a sigh. “You should definitely ask him out. And you should also… err… wow, ok, I can’t stop looking at him.”

“Ok, ok, we can do this,” Kat tells her friend before both take deep breaths and knock on the door. The security guard looks toward the door and they enter slowly. Kat holds out the flowers and smiles. “Hi. We… um… do you remember us? We’re the girls from the house.”

“Hi,” he says before nodding. “Sorry, I… they tell me I might have a few gaps in my memory. You’re the girls who own the house? So, which one of you was the one who hit me?”

“They… told you about that, huh?” Lexy asks in an apologetic tone. “Yeah, sorry about that. I thought you were one of the guys who broke in.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that. If I’d known you were there I would have identified myself,” he tells her before smiling. “You know you’ve got a hell of a swing! You ever think about playing professional baseball?”

“I actually did used to play cricket when I was a kid,” Lexy says. “I never imagined I’d ever… you know. I’m really sorry!”

He laughs again. “It’s ok, really,” he tells her. “Besides, I can’t even remember it. If anyone asks though I’m telling them that it was a guy.”

“Two guys,” Lexy suggests jokingly. “Tell them you got attacked by two guys and fought them off but a third one snuck up behind you…”

The guy laughs and nods his head. “I’m Kat, by the way,” Kat tells him after a moment of pause after obviously realising they hadn’t been introduced. “This is Lexy. We’re both from England, obviously, if you hadn’t guessed by the accents.”

“Yeah, I figured that out. I like the accents,” he tells them both before grinning at them. “I’m Reginald. My friends call me Reggie.”

“Hi Reggie,” both girls say in unison. Kat is the one who continues. “So… did you get a day off work because of this? We’re really sorry if we cost you any money or anything. And you know we’ll definitely pay for the hospital bill.”

“Absolutely, it’s the least we can do,” Lexy agrees.

“Thanks, I appreciate that but the company are picking up the tab,” he explains. “And you don’t need to worry about anything. It was my fault. I should have been more careful. It was my job to secure the premises; I shouldn’t have got taken by surprise like that, it was a rookie mistake.”

“You don’t look like a rookie,” Kat tells him. “You look amazing. I mean, um… experienced. You look experienced! I bet nothing like this has ever happened to you before, huh? You’re normally the one protecting everyone, right?”

He laughs. “Something like that,” he tells them both. “Actually, you want to know the truth? I don’t really enjoy the job. I always thought I would, you know? I figured I’d like the responsibility, the feeling of protecting people, but mostly it’s just walking around, filling out paperwork, responding to calls about couples arguing or old people who’ve forgotten their alarm codes… it’s not quite the life I thought it would be.”

“What are you looking for?” Kat asks.

“Something where I can make a difference,” he says with a smile. “Something where I can have an adventure, you know what I mean?”

Both girls look at each other. “Actually we do,” Kat tells him. “We’re wrestlers. Our lives are pretty exciting. And we definitely get adventure.”

“You should work for us,” Lexy blurts out.

“Excuse me?” he asks in surprise.

“Yeah, excuse me?” Kat asks, equally surprised. “Excuse us one moment Reggie, I think I need to talk to my friend.”

Kat practically forces Lexy out of his room and shuts the door behind them. “What the hell was that?” she asks. “You just offered him a job?”

“It just came out,” Lexy confesses. “He’s not wearing a shirt. He has perfect abs! It’s VERY distracting! I didn’t mean to say it, but he… just… I’m sorry, ok? I’ll fix it. I’ll tell him I didn’t mean to say it.”

Kat nods her head in agreement. As Lexy goes to walk back into the room however Kat stops her. “Wait…” she says, obviously thinking about it for a moment. “You know, we could offer him a job.”

“It’s the muscles, isn’t it?” Lexy says excitedly. “They got to you too! I mean by god, have you ever seen anyone who looks that good without a shirt? We work in a company full of guys who fight for a living and none of them have bodies like that! But, you know, we can’t actually give him a job. What job would we give him?”

Kat considers it for a moment before nodding. “No, you’re right, I mean what job would we give him?” she asks, realising how ridiculous it is. “You know it’s not like we need a bodyguard or—holy crap, we need a bodyguard!”

“Yes,” Lexy says way too excitedly. “We definitely do. We need a bodyguard. I mean we’re the champs. Everyone wants a piece of us. We need a hot, chiselled bodyguard to protect us. How did I not think of this before? This is perfect!”

Kat considers it for a moment longer. “You think Nate will be ok with it?” she asks before looking through the window in the door again. “I mean shouldn’t we ask him before we make a decision like this? Or Trin and Lucas? We should definitely ask them.”

“We’re big girls, we can make decisions on our own,” Lexy tells her friend. “I mean he’s qualified, right?”

“I don’t know, you did knock him out the moment you met him,” Kat reminds her.

“Yeah, but that was with a bat and look at him, he’s back on his feet already,” Lexy says in Reggie’s defence. “He’s big and strong and… hot. He’s hot! God, you do realise what we’re doing, don’t you? We’re hiring a guy just because he’s hot.”

Kat groans and nods. “Ugh, we’re no better than the hundreds of assholes who only hire managers because they’re pretty and blonde,” Kat says in disgust. “I mean how many times have we seen that? Pretty blonde girl at ringside who thinks she’s an amazing manager and is actually just there because she’s got huge breasts and the guy wants to fuck her.”

“Or pretty blonde girl he’s already fucking thinking she’s an amazing manager suddenly,” Lexy agrees before laughing. “How many of those have we seen? The kind of ‘manager’ who thinks they’re a great manager because they tweet a few things about their ‘client’. Ugh, we’re so much better than that.”

“We are, we’re so far above that. What were we thinking? It’s like we saw this hot guy and suddenly turned into teenagers. It’s sad, really,” Kat agrees. Both women let out a sigh. “We should just tell him that we don’t have a job for him after all.”

“I’ll tell him, I guess. I mean I’m the one who got us into this in the first place,” Lexy tells her friend. They open up the door and go back into the room again. “So, Reggie, about the job offer…”

“We need a bodyguard. When can you start?” Kat asks. Lexy obviously looks at her from behind the camera and Kat just shrugs her shoulders. “What?”

We cut from the hospital room back to the Chapel bedroom where Lexy is now sat on the bed with the IWC Tag Team Championship on her lap. She looks down at the belt with a smile before looking back up at the camera and shrugging. “I know what you’re thinking but we are better than all of you, the lame guys who only offer a girl a job as a manager because they’re trying to get in her pants. We don’t even want to get in his pants! We just… like looking at him without a shirt,” she says before laughing and shrugging. “What? Don’t judge me! If there’s any woman out there who didn’t think he looked hot then they’re lying to themselves. And it’s not like I’m going to do anything with him. I’m a married woman. I take my marriage vows very seriously. But, as Nate is always telling me, it’s not cheating to look! And now the tag team that has millions of male fans around the world reaching into their pants at every opportunity has now added something for the ladies! You’re welcome, ladies. You’re welcome! And yes, Reggie will be accompanying me to the End of Year Special this week, as will Kat Kelly, because honestly when I’m done this Monday night I may just need some extra help carrying around all my gold! Honestly, you people at home have no idea how heavy these things really are…”

She pretends to struggle lifting the title before laughing to herself again and then looking more serious. “I know you’re now think that I’m not taking Monday night seriously. You’re now thinking that I’m not taking the threat seriously. You’re now thinking that I think I’ll walk in and just dominate the match and walk out with the Evolution Championship. Well I want you thinking that, because then you’ll underestimate how serious I am about this opportunity ahead of me,” she explains with complete seriousness. “I know I like to have a laugh, and I like to make fun, and right now I love to brag about how far I’ve come in the last year and how much my life has changed since one year ago – I mean shit, we just hired a bodyguard and a year ago I couldn’t afford to buy a fucking takeaway – but when it comes to opportunities in this business I know how precious they are. I had an opportunity a few weeks ago to move myself into contendership for the World Heavyweight Championship, something that nobody in my family has ever come close to, and I will get that title one day. I will become a World Champion one day. But Upping the Ante simply proved that I’m not ready yet, and I can accept that. I’m still learning. I’m still improving. I’ve still got some way to go. Upping the Ante proved I’m not ready to become the World Champion… but the End of Year Special will prove I am ready to become Evolution Champion!”

“I remember my first opportunity at this championship. It happened quicker than I could have imagined. I got assigned a match with Andre for the Evolution Championship and I couldn’t believe it. I actually didn’t know how to react. It was unexpected, it wasn’t something I was seeking at the time, and quite frankly as close as I came to winning that match and that title – screwed over by Clueless’s retarded little sister – the fact is that I wasn’t ready to become champion yet,” she admits in a mature tone. “Being a champion in this business carries with it a hell of a responsibility. It carries with it a responsibility to deliver every time you’re in that ring. It carries with it a responsibility to perform at your very best every single week. It carries with it a responsibility never to let yourself down and to be the best you can be. And it carries with it a series of other responsibilities from media appearances to representing the company as a whole, and back then I was new, I was still getting used to my position, I was still finding my voice and quite frankly I wasn’t ready for any of those responsibilities. Losing to Andre actually turned out to be one of the best things that ever happened to me, because if I’d beaten him I’d have been thrust into a position I was unprepared for. But I’m not unprepared anymore…”

She smirks proudly. “The fact is the last few months have prepared me for this opportunity. They’ve prepared me to take the next step. They’ve prepared me to move on to the next stage of my career and, for the first time, to become a double champion. And along with that comes the responsibility of defending both championships, representing both championships, and proving myself in two different divisions. But along with that also comes an opportunity. That opportunity is to prove that I am ready. That opportunity is to show what I can do. That opportunity is to take on the world, with title belts on each shoulder, and show everyone exactly what I can do. That opportunity is to take the next step in my career because I’ve already proven I can compete at a higher level than any of you fuckers ever gave me credit for, now I need to prove I can do it with a shiny championship as well,” she says with a grin. “None of you believed in Wicked Intent, did you? You didn’t believe we could win the number one contendership. You didn’t believe we could win the titles. You didn’t think we could retain them. You didn’t think we would survive a match with the faces of the company, Taylor Chase and Katelyn Buehler, and we ultimately proved that not only could we survive the first match with them but that we could BEAT them when the belts were on the line as well.”

“None of you believed in Wicked Intent, and week after week we proved everyone wrong. Now anyone who still has doubts I’m going to prove wrong. Not only am I going to become the Evolution Champion at the End of Year Special, ending my 2015 in the best possible way and ending the breakout year of my career as a singles and tag team champion, but I’m going to do so by defeating a veteran of the business and a woman who on paper I shouldn’t stand a chance against,” she says before smiling. “Now, where do I start? Do I start with Samantha Raine? Yeah, I know a little something about her. You see back before IWC, before I made it on this stage, before I got the opportunity to become a real star, I was on the Indy scene, I was competing for a few bucks for a shit hole of a company, and along came Samantha Raine. I remember the hype that followed her in as well. I remember everyone talking about the veteran female who’d just walked into the locker room like she was this amazing force. People talked about her competing for the top championship, the title that this pathetic company actually dared to call a World title. But people talked about this veteran walking in and instantly being a contender, and I smiled and I nodded and I tried to be a good person and agree that she was a hell of a signing, but what I saw before me was a joke.”

“She couldn’t compete at the top level of a bunch of has-beens and a bunch of guys who were never going to amount to anything, but people treated her like she was royalty because she’d been around for a while,” she continues before laughing again. “Now I know a little something about royalty in this business. You know I know more than a little something about true royalty. But those guys are true World Champions, veterans of the biggest companies, veterans who’ve sold out the biggest arenas in the world, and Samantha Raine is… what, exactly? The ‘Simply Stunning Supergirl’? Bitch please, the only thing you have in common with Supergirl is that most of the wrestling world wishes they could retcon YOU out of their lives as easily! Samantha Raine has been around a long time and she’s been a lot of different things in that time, but she’s never been a real player, she’s never been a real star, she’s never been a true contender for a top championship in this business, but she certainly thinks she is, and a lot of people out there are more than happy to agree. They get all excited over the prospect of her being part of their show. They get all excited over the idea of her. And I’m excited about the idea of her as well, because when I beat the idea of Samantha Raine this week all those who worship her are going to notice me.”

“That’s what fighting veterans like her gives you though. People know her. People recognise the name. People expect from her. Some may be optimistic, they may believe the hype, they may expect that she’ll win the Evolution title and start a new era in her career, while others may only expect that she’ll fall flat on her face. But they know her and they expect something. So beating her, raising that title over my head while she’s lying at my feet, sends the kind of statement I want to be sending. I’ve beaten the veterans in tag team matches after all. I’ve beaten Katelyn Buehler. I’ve beaten Marina Valdivia. I’ve beaten Selena Frost. But yet people still think of them as the stars, them as the contenders, and beating another of the veterans changes that,” she says positively, almost glowing from the grin on her face. “You almost couldn’t pick anyone better, you know? Samantha Raine, veteran star, thirty-three years old, experienced and known, and respected enough by management that when the Evolution Championship was vacated she was one of the ‘go to’ names that IWC management decided upon. She’s been around a long time, she’s undoubtedly celebrated many Christmas’s with championships in the past, but she won’t be celebrating this holiday season as the IWC Evolution Champion, but if she’s super lucky maybe I’ll let her touch the title as an early present…”

“I’m never going to forget the way people talked about you, Samantha. I’m never going to forget the kind of reaction you got. I’m never going to forget the fact that you walked through the door and immediately those pathetic matchmakers were throwing opportunities at you to keep you happy, because you were the veteran star and they had to fall over themselves to give you what you wanted. I’m never going to forget how small you made me feel, how small you made the little rookie in the back feel that she could bust her ass week after week, show after show, that she could get an entire arena full of people – ok, so the place only held like five hundred people even when it was full because it was basically a high school gymnasium, but that’s beside the point – cheering her name and yet you, the ‘veteran’, got those assholes to pay you fifty times as much for half the work and you didn’t even see someone like me. I’m never going to forget that Samantha, and when I beat you this Monday night at the End of Year Special I’m going to look straight into that camera and they’re going to know that the little girl they paid in scraps just achieved another goal that the golden girl never could, and those fans who worship you, those promoters that fall over themselves to book you and even the IWC matchmakers will know if they want money they don’t want Samantha Raine.”

“And who doesn’t like money, am I right?” she asks before laughing. “But you know a few months ago I would have told you that there was no amount of money in the world that could have gotten me into the ring with my other opponent on Monday night, the monstrous beast of a woman known as ‘Miss Jon’. Hell when poor little Frankie was desperately tweeting for help in dealing with her – back when I was honestly confused if she was going to rape him or eat him – I think I said something to that effect. There was not enough money in the world that would have been enough to get me into the ring with a two hundred and fifty five pound monster, someone described as ‘the Death of Beauty’ herself. And goddamn if that isn’t accurate, because I’m pretty sure that bitch is SO ugly pretty things tend to crumble up and die when she walks past. Flower shops rush outside to bring in their stock when they hear her coming. Fresh fruit stands desperately try to wheel themselves away from her before the food rots. And you know this bitch is coming as well because you can see the water rippling in the glass like when the T-Rex was closing in on the vehicle in Jurassic Park! See, a few months ago I imagined that THAT was what facing someone like Miss Jon would be like. I imagined it would be like stepping up to battle a dinosaur. Heh, that’s funny actually…”

She pauses for a moment while laughing to herself. “Sorry guys, I just realised that this match has someone who’s been around as long as the dinosaurs versus someone who’s as fucking hideous as them, and then there’s poor little Lexy stuck in the middle of this battle,” she says before grinning again. “Unfortunately, however, for Miss Jon this is no longer a few months ago and my primary concern is no longer that I may get stuck in her gravitational pull if I get too close to her! Honestly, I could see myself jumping off the top rope and just going around and around her as I get stuck in her orbit! But, like I was saying, that is no longer my primary concern. My primary concern is now taking on a bitch that big, taking on a bitch that ugly, taking on a bitch who sees me and thinks ‘no, there’s not enough meat on those bones to give me a good meal’, and knocking down the monster in front of the world, just to show the world that it doesn’t matter if it’s a veteran wrestler or a giant bitch, Lexy Chapel is ready for the next step and she’s not leaving on Monday night WITHOUT the IWC Evolution Championship! Because guys I know I should be afraid of Miss Jon, I know I should be afraid that I’ll try to knock her down and just end up bouncing off of her, but the fact is that I know that all I really need to do is get her out of the ring and then let her biggest enemy stop her from getting back to me: stairs!”

She laughs again somewhat confidently before stopping and looking back to the camera with a very serious and sober look. “Ok, that was probably uncalled for. I know that. I can’t help myself sometimes though, you know? I see an opponent and I get carried away. I didn’t mean to make a fat joke. I know how hard it must be for her. I mean… I actually don’t know how hard it must be for her, even standing up must be difficult for her, but that’s not the point,” she says, smirking a little at the joke even while trying to retain the seriousness of her tone. “The fact is though that as tough as life is for her, what people like her don’t realise when they see people like me is that they’ve got it easy! I mean they think their life is so tough, being called fat, being made fun of for being hideous, being told that they can’t go to the movies because they won’t fit down the aisle, let alone in the seats, but what girls like that don’t realise when they come after girls like me, when they threaten girls like me, when they claim they’re going to destroy girls like me, is that it’s tough for us too! We suffer too, you know? We suffer in ways ‘women’ like Miss Jon will never understand. They’ll never understand how it feels to walk into a bar and have men harass them. I mean when they walk into a bar everyone – man and woman – runs out the other exit, so they’ll never understand how it feels to have all those guys buying them drinks and looking at them like their a sex object.”

“The fact is that ‘women’ like Miss Jon will never understand how hard it is to look this good every single day, and the pressure that girls like me feel when you’re just this beautiful. She’ll never understand how it feels to have a guy look at her and get tongue-tied and blurt out some shit about how he wants to fuck you, or how it feels to get harassed by wolf-whistles, because ‘women’ like Miss Jon scare away even the builders from doing their jobs when they stomp past construction sites,” she says in a very serious but also completely mocking tone. “She hates the beautiful people of this world but she’ll never understand that it’s hard for us too. It’s hard being this good looking. It’s hard having guys give you free stuff hoping you’ll notice them. It’s hard being a sensation on YouTube because guys like staring at your breasts. Oh god, it’s SO hard and she’ll NEVER understand that! Instead she’ll just continue being a monstrous beast of a woman who threatens women like me because she doesn’t understand how difficult it is for us… and that’s just a sad, sad state of affairs if you ask me. Because what should happen is that we should stand together, unite against those who have done us wrong and… and… no, actually, you know what? We shouldn’t. I don’t want to stand with her. Hell I’m a little worried about just being in the ring with her if she falls down...”

She laughs again, abandoning the mockingly serious tone and instead embracing her normal smile. “The fact is that I may have been lying about her not understanding the hardships of being a good looking person, because she doesn’t and even apes find her repulsive – seriously, there’s a shaven ape who tweets a lot and I don’t think she and Miss Jon get along at all. I’ll ask her at some point, although said ape is retired from wrestling now and about to embark on a career in the movies I heard – but I wasn’t lying about being afraid to fight her before, and I’m not lying about embracing that opportunity now,” she says with a grin on her face. “This Monday night I’m going to grab hold of this opportunity with both hands. This Monday night it’s third time lucky for Wicked Intent as I get my second chance at the Evolution title and I end 2015 as a double champion, with Wicked Intent celebrating together! This Monday night I fight for myself, I fight for Kat Kelly, and I fight for the team, but this Monday night I also fight to prove to the world that I’m ready! This Monday night I take the next step in my career, I win the most prestigious singles championship of my career, and I show the world that I’m not just Lexy Chapel, Tag Team Champion, but I’m Lexy Chapel: FUTURE LEGEND, when I welcome the dinosaur duo to the Superkick Soiree! Are you excited by that possibility? Then show your support. Like, subscribe, and come back in 2016 for the debut of The Chapel Show Season 3, with even more Wicked Intent and with a sexy new championship! I’ve been Lexy Chapel. This has been the Chapel Show. Until next time, fuckers!”

She winks at the camera before patting the Tag Team Championship happily and then looking at her empty shoulder before making an excited expression at the camera. The video fades out on that and comes to an end with the replay button flashing up on the screen.